I want to stay up late and write about everything I hate
Everything stemming from a lack of humanity
Why am I living through this time of insanity
Is it to make me stronger, capable of anything great?
It is more pain and struggle to endure
More thoughts to flood my waking mind
and stifle my gasping breath
What a time to be alive
when close contact is killer
and true vulnerability is exposure
When connection is weak and the circuits are short
Isolation is preferred to stave that depression wave
that everyone rides at some breaking point or another
The swell is huge and I have had my fill
Swimming to the bank to cash my earnings in clothes
Drinking alkaline for balance over all of the swill
Doomsday prepping for anything goes
Leaning on what’s left of my will

I feel you grab forearms
Same skin you lovingly kiss
Keep burning for that side of you
More and more it comes to this

Room with uneasy air lingering
I'll try to forget whichever fight
Had that led to all that noise
It's still going to be alright

I will convince myself to take the blame
Swallow down but it's stuck in my throat
Swear it's what I must deserve
The back of my mind knowing I don't

Telling stories to **** with conscience
Tempted to believe but know better
We can do this back and forth for a bit
This cannot go on forever

Arranging pieces to fix what we broke
Tangled with promises long overdue
Never have your attention for long these days
When I was young I mattered so much to you

To feel that again I'd give
My fears and sacrifice
Listened to your point-of-view
Then I realize we won't get that twice

Laughing and living in love each day
Was alive not just existing
I should have known it wouldn't last
I'm hurt and my body is constricting

Now I am broken by the one I love
I'm feeling betrayed
Know you are in pain yourself
Wondering if I should have stayed

To follow instinct was stupid
Should have been chasing my heart
I didn't have the stamina
Because I was falling apart

A good person what I was trying to be
Once thought I did the right thing
Didn't just hurt you with my decision
More like mutual suffering

I inhale unbridled woes
But part of you is dead
Swear to die so you can't **** me yourself
Bullet through both our heads

my dire apprehensions
they gracefully disappear
as the waves emerge
my eyes waterless
the wind tangled in my lashes sparked a cry
the lonely ocean
washes away my woes
as the waves emerge
the lies are purified
so the ocean heard my cry

carve your words on winds
and let the fleeting air
caress the wounds
you courageously cut open;
let them bleed again
and let the fresh scent
send the birds to singing;
forget about the inked papers —
no one reads anymore
and the world forgets anyway

In this day and age,
The mysterious ways
Of men and their money
Fill all of our days.

A hashtag,  an update,
A notification.
Just to remind me
Of my situation.

Three years on the streets
Meant nothing to me,
But it showed me a world
Few ever should see.

Now Texas takes notice,
Financial aid!
The catch is,  of course,
My ****** GPA.

They do this on purpose.
I'm ignorant? My ***!
"You've got seven hundred dollars
To spend before class."

"You can buy anything here,
No gift cards, of course. "
I said "this isn't a buffet;  
That's a smorgasbord! "

Give me three new shirts,
All the books for my classes,
A new backpack,  a hoodie,
Alumni- framed glasses.

Then,  send me an email,
At nine in the morning
That I'll be dropped
by four p.m. without warning!

So much for sleep.
It's time for *******.
Because these ****** people
Are pulling THIS **** again.

Loan counseling? What's that?
"In forty- eight hours
The approval will come back. "

Are you being serious?
I'm better off smoking crack!
Just give me my education,
And stay the hell off my back!