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Blade Maiden Sep 2018
There's a silence
my senses aren't familiar with
but not one in defiance
less a silence, maybe more a bliss

You must know
all I've met were loud
creatures of big words, a big show
and so very proud

Of this quietness I know so little
all that shouting, felt like I had to go through with it
always finding myself in the middle
deafening noises in an endless pit

There's a silence
though I adore it I never wore it
quite as well as I could have
But now I sense an alliance
within this noiseless place in which we sit

Almost felt offended by the lack of words
but I make peace eventually, realizing
not silence but the emptiness of noise is what hurts
and though this silence still at times feels paralyzing

I know now more of honesty
no glass words to see through
an impeccable decency
is what I want to believe is true

There's a silence,
which is a calmness,
that makes me feel safe
from the mess
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

And so I go
I bid you farewell
Don't forget
I love you so
this is all I know
all I can tell
For my own sake
I have to find out
not about
what's high
but what is low
so you will find me
way down in the well
under the lake

I know
You still feel the need
to carve your initials
into stones,
into the concrete
All I want is
to leave mine
on your lively skin
along your spine
Don't think
stone would care
for we are nothing but
cycling trivialities
stone won't know
what we'd dare
stone doesn't have
an interest
in our qualities

I know
Now I take
my leave of you
you, the idea
me, something that
wants to be true
But let me promise
you and me
we'll meet
for the first time
before the tide will reach
the last tree
Because then
all books
will be gone
no one there
to sing us
a sad song
And all these words
will be of no avail
and nothing
that now hurts
will prevail

Everything is
designed to
the whole of
earths array
linked until the end
and all of us
will have to trade
place by place
memory by memory
until we all fade

So I'll hold you
just like I now
hold this pen
steady and assured
washed upon human life's
last shore
when all's undone
that once was made
I will hold you
and think
what a comfort
this beautiful fate
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

found a hope that prevails
reaching for me under a starlit tent
built a boat that sails
across all oceans as they bend
filled my book with tales
an anthology of moments I didn't attend

what a terrible word
holding such a stinging truth
felt like it's all worth the hurt
while wasting years of restless youth
called out and haven't been unheard
found something I couldn't lose

thought any path would get me there
where wholesomeness is not just hearsay
kept a fire in sight that brought me to where
I would find the light of day
made them proud of me, made them care
made them listen to what I had to say

And now
from where I stand
a lyrical sadness
paper in my hand
I know this is true
                                                            ­             I can almost see you
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
Let me die
in a battle
with sharpened metal
As I put down my weapon of distance
til now a bow has always been my choice of resistance

let me be an animal
tearing flesh from my enemy
with sharpened teeth
the breaking of bones
skin tightens, body crumbles underneath
I'll go back to stick and stones
Bleeding til I'm dry
finally feeling terribly alive
before I end and die

But before
let me run
with wolves across these snowy hills
let me paint in red
in the heat of the midday sun
let me be the whale close to the shore
til the hunters come to get their kills
Bleeding til I'm dry
before I end and die

But until then
let me be courageous
let me be poison and contagious
like a venomous reptile
trying to survive me will be futile
I'll take all those who lay their hands on me
with me into agony
finally understanding the beauty
of life and death
I will show my natural fury
and never again be silent nor deaf
Bleeding til I'm dry
before I end and die

Wild and burning in life's fire
insight will come as my flames grow taller
And I know only in the wilderness
I won't be doomed as a pariah
Only there I can find the truth
and there is none to confess
As I bleed and live another day
far away
from human's self-glorifying mess
Bleeding til I'm dry
before I end
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
In all honesty
I'm honestly
A little lost
Probably very
lonely and thinking

What does it matter?
What is the matter
with me?
Because you see
I see you hurting
It's not working
and it all fell
it feels like falling
all over
again, I'm trembling
Breaking and mending

A terrible way
for a marriageable idea
to come through
only to hurt you
my gentle heart
now we might part

But healing
is on it's way
I'll never lose this feeling
til the day of decay
To keep losing people that have been close to you is probably supposed to happen a lot in your life but it doesn't mean that it's not painful as hell. But I know it will be okay again one day. And you'll be okay too. Hold on to what you want to believe in.
Blade Maiden Oct 2018

This ripe darkness
this mourning dream
a wrenching weakness
fit for the guillotine

An arrangement made
sheer comfort prepared
the end of fate
and, oh, how I dared

This dry paper
this cold pit
an agonising vapor
that smells of blood and spit

'Tis my mind
my wicked flesh
a soul pined
peeled off and fresh

Dressed soft tongued
I raised Cain
being shunned
silenced I remain

This dawning fright
this nightly echo
here comes the blight
light, don't let go
Blade Maiden Jun 2018
Make sense of me
Unwind me

       Define me
       Don't decline me

                         See through
                         Make due

          Find me
          Don't bind me

                               Shake me
                               Don't fake for me

               Feel me
               Don't kneel for me

                                   Make sure
                                   Take me pure

         Don't hesitate
         I won't separate


         I've come to evolve

                                                                             Don't let me dissolve
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
See the sun shines upon
a life that is catching on

Smell the burning of flesh so dire
a life that is catching fire

Share your useless endeavors
a life filled with feathers

From all the birds you killed
a life that feels unfulfilled

Your mind a time travel machine
a life that is unseen

Your head heavy from all the grout
a life that is catching out

Trying hard to fix what's been broken
a life that comes as a token

Ignite your insides and smoke out the grub
a life that is catching up

A worm that will eat you alive
a life that leads you to strive

Your own hand must be the torch
a life that makes you forge

Burn the dead birds with all their parasites
a life beyond what it hides

Will there ever be enough heat
a life that is on repeat

Nothing else to do but trying
a life silently replying

Your mind's a traitor, you're merely a waiter
life's catching you (sooner or) later
Blade Maiden Jun 2018
I realize that
survival isn't
blowing out all my candles
so someone else can be my light
Blade Maiden Oct 2018
Lighthouse shine a light for me
in these dark times it is hard to see
will you shine a light so I might be
(some day)

Meaning got lost in the rubble
trust has only brought me trouble
People hiding inside their bubble
(seems like we are all)

Fires would you burn
I got lost after taking the last turn
what is there to find, what is to learn
(we feel like being, being)

Please, show me a way
it is hard to go, so much harder to stay
I walk, I halt, I run, I stray
(everything's loud but I make no)

Lighthouse, my castle of warmth
how I miss your steady arms
and your happy, glowing charms
(how is seeing you in the distance so)

Like ancient kings and queens
of a wisdom that redeems
though never knowing what it all really means
(in uncertainty, lonely, in melancholy once again)
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
I noticed that my veins are blue
maybe that's the reason why
my insides have no clue
and my hands keep reaching out while I cry

over and over and
in an instant

I think this time I broke a record
how fast can you lose?
All those poems, while may be deep, still seem to fall short
and the right thoughts I easily diffuse

an answer
a clear head
a simple feeling
a loveable thread

Yeah, that is maybe
what I want exactly
for you to threaten me
with pure intensity

Where do all those empties come from anway?
Am I so full that I count for two
And only the shallows look my way,
are you one of them, too?
When you feel like you just seem to attract the same kind of people over and over again. Like moths to the flame. Though I feel like I'm the moth that burns at the end. Ha.
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I know some things about dirt
I shed my feathers many times just like a bird

Always daring
never preparing
for the fall
I fly
bold with a certain confidence
but so very shy
hold a truth to obedience
when the voice tells me to abide
holding evidence of bloodlust at night

Maybe not a bird then
but a bat when
feeling a strong hunger
for your crimson liquor
in the dark I reach out to my monger
won't you be my cherry picker
I'll draw the night out and make the darkness stay longer
I'll bite you and make your blood run thicker

See me still hiding a diffidence
under this bold confidence
But I'm not about pretense
bird and bat, all the same
I feel so very tense
as it seems either I can tame
Though I don't need defense
and as you will see, I got no shame
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
Can I come a little bit closer?
Like this?
That's okay?
I know I'm such a poser.
Feeling more like a loser.

Is it alright if I say this?
Too much?
Too soon?
Can't believe I already miss
your company when I'm supposed to be in his

Arms, strong enough to hold me
but what if I need softness to be
the strength I'm holding on to; she
gives me something more to see
in darkened eyes great honesty

I'll keep your words with great pride
Show yourself to me, don't hide
Let me stay a bit longer                                                    by your side.
Blade Maiden Oct 2018
The ocean calls for my departure
don't mourn these waves
I was destined to return just like King Arthur

Scribbled words on our skin
invisible ink tells of prophecies
and all the lives that have not been

Pulled the sword from the stone
Naive to think that we'd be crowned
but rather released an angry storm

These stories speak of hate and resentment
it flows much more effortlessly
so much pain in trying to be sentient

Still I will not give in to bitterness
I wait for the storm to pass
to return to sea and drown in bliss
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
I'm in plain sight
hiding underneath a crooked sky
I saw two lions fight
standing on the end of a staircase, thought I could fly

I heard of this world before
the one of endless ideas
A space I used to adore
now filled endlessly with fears

Let me go to the furthest place in my mind
where gravitation still has it's place
I need to grativate, I need to find
that corner of my eye, that lost part of my face

Send me forward to my hollow moon
in his cold embrace I turn a blind eye, I turn
I'll light my fire, it will be the sun soon
and I'll finally
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
I see them come
I see them go
Hope fails,
and it fails again, so?

What else to do
but to feel content
with every arrival
there's goodness to attend
to an end

An end
that surely leaves you
utterly lonely, maybe sad
and a bit changed too

Probably scary
that's usually how it goes
these things were never simple
you carry a bunch of "if so's"

Just go
just be you
they'll see
everyone did see you
one day they might know who
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I shut my eyes
to a world of fire
I drink and I roll the dice
I say make me forget that I feel dire

Come and be close
push against my spine
let my willingness arose
let my vines intwine
your wholesomeness, my overdose
let's become the fine line

Between ecstasy
and that
which is not meant to be
I fed
on you like on a juicy dragon fruit
Reach into what the wild one brings
our senses sharp and acute
I spread my wings

Turn each other into creatures of the flame
my hands how they claw at your skin
don't hesitate, there's nothing to tame
and nothing this true could ever be a sin
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Sleepy, rest your head
Shh, don't regret
All that you met
Along a rocky road
I know right now there's a lump in your throat
a sea full of tears, you stuck on a boat
This boat will keep you safe, I promise
Close your tired eyes, there's nothing to miss
the arms to hold you were never supposed to be his
Don't worry now, sleep off your yesterdays
Lie silently in comfort and dream of simpler ways
Dream of softness and love that stays
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
So, how's it going?
Did you end up in those arms you kept talking about?
Did she see you on the airport all jet-lagged,
all baffled, standing in the passenger area, jam-packed.
So, you didn't know?
She was lying on the runway, waiting for you.
Her heart pre-packed,
ready to get hijacked.
The differences between you and her,
7 hours to **** the time,
5092 miles away, still committed a crime.
June 3rd marks the day,
on which the newspaper says nothing,
cause nothing ever happened, you just went away.
So, what about your dreams?
She kept them for you, tucked away in a suitcase,
ready to run off with you in plain sight,
but your plane never reached this side.
You never even took off to be exact,
guess your bag wasn't intact,
and matter of fact,
I think honest will is what it lacked.
So, whatever, right?
It's not like,
it's all pointless anyway.
That's what you'd say.
Doesn't matter that it meant a whole lot,
she might spend 7 hours more to untangle the knot,
and has to walk 5092 miles to get back the full heart she got,
before she met a stranger who spoke of her arms,
and made her built an airport inside of her palms.

So, how's it going?...
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Life, the big distraction
How it weaves around all that lies deep within
It's all but one fraction
and this fraction in itself to life feels like a sin

The emptiness.
We all know of it
To our yearning, its empress
Nothing ever seems to fit
Right where emptiness sits
in its grand old throne room

A loneliness.
Both residing in these enormous halls
with nothing there to impress
Even they can't keep each other company
for they're one and the same
only wearing anothers name

I listen to my favorite song
Let me read this book that's been sitting on my shelf for so long
Maybe I'll go and buy these flowers I saw the other day
Wouldn't they look just lovely in my living room, I say
how sweet, how good, all is well
in this calming simplicity I dwell
til the sin seeps through:

only a distraction;
nothing will ever fill nor forever keep what it hides
the room where empress emptiness resides
Blade Maiden Oct 2018

Traveling through an ocean-like space
I'm breaking like the waves
I arrive and crush on your shores
crawl into each and every pore
I dissolve into foam
which follows a storm
The storm becomes me
I rage over rock and tree
Devastation as I take
make room for renewal and remake

I brush away home and town
these empty houses, I tear them down
no place left to hide for the hunger
shall these demons come so I can pull them under
Make them eat the dirt they keep feeding to you and me
I will make them swallow and suffocate their glee
And when darkness comes I will be thunder
lightening the sky and breaking it asunder
And through this opening you will descend
everything that has been broken you can mend

Don't despair, love, take pride in me
The force of nature you clearly see
Believe in this inner symbiosis
Create your own apotheosis
Everything is well
Even in these dark times in which you dwell
This nature will never leave you
nor will it ever betray what is true
See through the eyes of your keeper
even when you think you can't sink deeper

What you are you shall hold dear
and walk this blackness without fear
Whatever wounds you carry away from this tourney
it's worth every step of this journey
Fight until your blood runs dry
pick up your worth again and again until you die
no need to run, no need to hurry
believe in your nature and don't worry
Sleep will come eventually
until then rage against life's brevity

You stand unbowed and unbroken by your ache
and leave life in your wake
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

Is it wrong to feel
it all unfold
to want my tongue to peel
off the words that have been foretold
to let my chest burst open
feel the nectar of flowers all find their place within
My body's nothing more than a token
caught in darkness for far too long my lively swarm has been

And oh, the misery
I can't let them out
The only bliss, you see
is when the humming isn't so loud
But today my ears can't take the noise
my body aches, its been holding and breaking
I thought somewhere in all that buzzing I heard a voice
But I'm afraid I'm just anothers nest in the making

In my dreams I see my bees leaving
they all fly away
and I can't blame the spider for weaving
turning this hive into her own flowery array
Soon this place might as well be forgotten
for I know nothing about actual flowers
and they will all be rotten
and there over my lost mind an old tree towers

This tree will be my grave
I shall be buried alive
til something may save
the leftovers of my overgrown heart, this bee hive
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I reached the hill
now there is silence
Thought I took the right pill
felt like hope wasn't a form of violence
But when I met myself at the highest bit
I didn't know what it meant
The hill was really a pit
a hell heaven sent
Feeling fragile
wearing nothing but torn dresses
as the devil became more agile
I dream of him as he trespasses

I reached the hill
it's silent
My own abandoned town
filled with ghosts and defilement
Burned my notes of obsession
cinder on my lashes
for a brief moment I see flames of possession
as dark eyes rain down ashes
The devil's got ahold of me
he brought flowers filled with poison
I grew a field of them, a flowery sea
silence came as I shut the noise in

I reached
My silent hill
poisonous oceans will hide
as I keep us still
the devil always in sight
Blade Maiden Jun 2018
I'm hurting lately
Is it just me?
I keep breathing barely
Is there a good excuse?

I'm quite tired these days
Should I get medication for that?
My nightmares are showing me new ways
What's the deal?

Cut. One small thought I had as well
Where did that come from all of a sudden?
In our bathroom is that certain smell
(I can't stand it)
Am I doing this right?

I think I left my confidence at home
Or is it hiding under the bed?
Guess we got separated, this girl is one, lone.
Or is she?

I made new friends in the meantime
Is Anxiety coming over?
We gonna have another slumber party, “I seem fine”
(That's going to be the theme)

Don't forget about Self-loathing,
the party doesn't really start without them, does it?
It's gonna be a sick time with a bunch of loafing,
Sounds pretty good, huh?

Might as well make this my invitation,
to my awesome sleepover
though there's an ongoing renovation
so please don't mind the noise.
Not sure what I did here. Just some random thoughts written down in the heat of the moment. Let me know what you think.
Blade Maiden Jun 2018
We come from broken families,
you and I
hating ourselves for years.
People did terrible things,
to us
at times willingly, most of the times..

Where their lives end,
the places they ruined,
we try to rebuild,
find shelter in broken shells
in each others bruised and battered

And I know it's hard,
it takes a thousand broken things,
to get to a part,
of life,
that gives you strength

You know the good place,
you can see it,
it exists
We have been there
many times
it's not just one place
there are countless
and one is
somewhere between our two bodies
and minds
waiting for us to mend

I wish to be whole,
even with all these fragments missing,
I want to be whole with you
but healthy, simply, easy,
to not be one
who is just as broken
and terrified
and lonely
as the people we once

What does it take
I ask us
It takes
a softness
and a toughness
only found
between two
that have endured.
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
When I met her
I was in a dark place
She made me feel better
alone with her I felt safe

When I met her
I fell in love easily
Me and her alone
protecting me in isolation furiously

Her's was the fear
but I knew why I had to be scared
the danger was clear
I wasn't meant to be shared

But hidden in front of everyone's eyes
better still behind closed doors
safe and sound and internally screaming
my lively body lying dead on barren floors

When I met her
to love her felt so right
easier yet but to walk amongst strangers
simpler yet to swallow all forsaken pride

Since I realized that I loved her wrong
that I only grew fond of her protection
I started taking her out on walks
I've written her a heartfelt song

"I love you dear,
you are my fearful guardian
and I thank you for reminding me
to keep an open eye, to always look for the hidden scorpion
Let me find comfort in you
when I know being terrified
makes less a fool out of me
but only a soul less traveled, barely petrified.

In my way of loving,
let me find my kind of freedom
I don't need you solving

Anxiety. "
Totally freestyled this. Might change it later. Let me know what you think.
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
A home is a home is a home
it's a place, it's a haven, it's a heart
my head, a heavy tome
but here, my pages, they easily part

A feeling is a feeling is a feeling
of belonging, of caring, of staying
here, my mind felt ease, I'm simply being
my body speaks tired, here, I'm not afraid of swaying

A lover is a lover is a lover
for I'm well fed, for I'm blanket-covered, for I'm hot-showered,
I'm being shared, my lover and my bed, and I'm undercover,
I do as I please, I'm undaunted or a coward

A house is a house is a house
sometimes old and weary, cold and eerie, sole and leery
it breathes in and out, familiar rhythm, one with my mouth
My home gives me the feeling that there's a lover in the house, here I saw ice being fiery
Strange to be back home but alone.
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
  I don't believe in
  everything is subjective
  even hearts have their own perspective

  You gave me an
  of things that
  be the transparent you
  let's be risible true

  Am I visible to
  are my hands reachable
  Is my brain a beautiful mess
  Anything else to confess?


  It's all a little
         so and so
  Nothing to be ashamed of
  Even if there will be love

  can be quite

  But that's okay
  I might as well stay
  for a little bit longer. Or more.
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
I am content
with thy firmament
In silence I hold my lament
My fear is my strength
it unfolds to earths length
Beyond what my eyes may see
I lay my trusty words upon thee
Home is far from blinded sight
A life hidden in a darkened night
There we fell into closeness
An abundance of things to confess
In simple wholesomeness we linger
Til I can reach thy lips with my finger

I am content
with thy firmament
the same one it will be
when we look up we'll see
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
What if
I fall before I fly
What if
it's really only foolishness to try and reach the sky
What if
My heart will always feel this way
What if
I'll only be led astray
What if
all my tiny wonders will go to waste
What if
I'll never quite know the taste
What if
It's really all a useless race
What if
No one knows how to show their realest face

What if
I just take you where
What if
We can try and find our answers there
What if
We won't be losing touch
And what if
this time a promise kept, I'll hold you as such
I want to hold you so much
I take pride in keeping promises.
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
Sitting next to you
I felt like frozen fire
Nothing compares to how unaware
you felt, and how being with you was dire

Forgot how it felt to be someone
I burnt so much for no reason
You took it all away from me
to me your love was treason

I remember how you held me close
once you were my brightest light
you swore to protect me
for me you picked every fight

I know your life made you weary
and I felt for you, felt all the pain
I thought you needed me to forget
but admittedly you just weren't sane

I realized then that I had lost you long ago
It wasn't my responsibility
to save you from yourself
from lost dreams and your agony

This frozen fire got so cold
I burnt so much for no reason
I had to leave before my soul would have been sold
before entering the last cold season

And I know you beg for my return
and it pains me still to refuse
but your endless winter would never let me burn
and the fire is what I choose
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
Who am I to keep you
from taking chances
stealing glances

Believe me when I say
I don't want to slow you down
by no means make you lose your crown

Quite the opposite it's true
I want you to hold this smile
for which I'd walk the extra mile

Simply what I'd love to have
is you to let me stand close to you
and maybe let me hold your hand then too

The only thing that troubles my mind
is not knowing if you want to share
your good life with me and if you think I'm worth the dare

Am I?
Blade Maiden Oct 2018

I sell my soul
for a pre-made bed
I give myself whole
for a sleeping spot in your head

I give my blood
for sacrifical purposes
I crawl through mud
til I no longer feel the worthlessness

I shed my fears
and all my dark feathers too
I spill them like tears
They fall of my leafs like new day dew

I pull out all my flowers
and plant them close to you
they will grow and become towers
which can only hold things that are true

And as my demons come for my lungs and liver
my hive heart will send all my bees
so these towers never wither
and this love never leaves
Blade Maiden Dec 2018
Since I already knew
I'd die of a broken heart
I made preperations
treating my death like art

Stop worrying
I took care of everything
the guests and the burying
even ordered flowers in early spring
I'm still around. If anyone was actually wondering where I've been I apologize. I missed posting on here so I might get back to it more often. No promises. I hope you, whoever reads this, are having a good day, week, month.. and if not, hang in there. Just hang in there.
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
I take my imaginary pen
I write down my anger
I close my eyes and count to ten
just to breathe a little longer

It's laughable really
when I see you justifying
Sure, you're all touchy-feely
only goodwill, so hard-trying

When you said that to me
where was your heart at?
Why calling me your better-half-to-be
when all you wanted was a shoulder pat?

Oh you, with your wonderful poetry,
oh, lies so beautifully written down
please just stop, you don't know no poverty
in your emerald sea everything you wanted me to believe is to drown

I never thought you would make me think
the worst of you instead
And I swear I could only stand and stare and shrink
when you didn't care to lose your head

Now you haunt me like the headless horseman
and you will forever
but I do not worry for my sanity, oh boy of thoughts turned cyan
I walked with ghosts before and a headless one is so less clever

And if you ever come back looking for this head of yours
Think twice, try a little bit harder wannabe
It might stick out of the sand at your emerald sea shores
Your love for me was never poetry
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
Overly emotional
strangely proportional
partly suboptimal
highly improbable

by truth and anger
and all that subsided

I'm trying
I'm hiding
Bad at denying
I need to feel
I need to scream
mostly defying
the urge to break
the urge to destroy
to disappear, to dissolve
I might be lying

To myself
to myself
My need for leaving or staying
is always unmet
with internal bleeding
my thoughts are paying
and these monsters
in my head
keep eating
Did I really put them there
Or did it happen back
when I was twelve?

I hear you
but your breath is so cold
I wanted to believe
in anything but you
But I think we got too old
and the house
my heart grew in
has long been sold

And when I'm drinking
you get angry
but what should I do?
My thoughts feel so scattered
and you can't pull me through

I'm trying
I'm fighting
Bad at denying
I need to feel
I need to dream
mostly defying
the urge to fake
the urge to decoy
to reappear, to resolve
I might be lying

to myself
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
I'm a hopeless dreamer
A full-blown love-believer
An apologetic oversharer
Might as well give you my preprinted waiver

But I don't need anything
from this funny little human thing
you call a heart and stand tall
Non-believers can't get through my make-believe wall

And you're the biggest one of them all
Push and pull, careful, you might be the one to fall
Never heard of "we reap what we sow"?
Your love was only a glancing blow.
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
I am               Tired

I heard             Silent

I saw                Something

I am                 Self

It seems           Quite

My insides       Somewhere

Maybe              Even

                                                          In you.
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
Your awkwardness is infectious
These words can never really catch us
Would you say I'm making a fuss

Maybe this is normal
you just can't help but being formal
I know all of this seems quite suboptimal

But you know
I didn't think of this like a great show
Are we still going with the flow

I don't know what to tell you
if we both agree on this how could we be through
My thoughts are always overflowing, your words are few

So is it okay if you maybe
phrase your intentions more clearly
all I want is to talk with you freely

Like we talked when we saw
each other with loving awe
and being open and true was the law
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I sharpen my knife,
I stab my own heart
to see if what comes out
is yours or mine

My chest's a hive
bees feast, my flesh to part
the buzzing, a silence so loud
from my blood they make honey wine

I spill it
I speak in tongues
rest upon my honey womb
my nature's a slave to all that you do

In my palms and shapes you shall fit
breathe deeply through my lungs
let me sleep in the silence of your tomb
my nature's turning pure in you
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
In the blink of an eye
I lost myself
I said goodbye
I turned my head and went
I turned it again and again.
Til it send
all my past selves to fly with the wind
By the morning I was born anew
And yesterday had sinned
I left my old clothes on the windowsill
I might pick them up and fly right out
One day, yes, first I'll climb this hill
Get all the way on top of it
with feet sore of rocky walks
with shoes that never really fit
I'll get up there just to see
to find there is
another me
And maybe here I'll find
life is not what life once was
it's really all a state of mind
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
No better place but inside my dream
to leave the world and it's endless scheme
my fingers tracing violet mountains
that turn into illustrious fountains
of things I want to do with you
if you and I could ever follow us through

I wonder where I'd start my journey
Give the starting signal for our particular tourney
Getting into delicate positions
movement in passion my only mission

Sensuality comes easily
I want you to lean into me
let's be a little bit sentimental
no words needed when we become intrumental

In my dreams we hold on tight
to the endless possibilities of a night
under a cold and steady moon
Goodnight love, we'll see each other soon.
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
There's something
light &
simple &
I crave
I feel it in my bones
When it overcomes me like a wave
I'm shaking off these heavy stones

Carefully placing them on the shore
of the seas of my own mind
Hands sore
from carrying them here from where I find
them just like they are supposed
to be right here
and they might be the most
lovely signs of a lack of fear

I believe
I've quite the courage
Though this ocean speaks of retrieve
waves looking like familiars, not sure which

Feeling like one of the last unicorns
being forced into stormy waters
by an angry red bull and it's sharpened horns
a tide that speaks of forgotten daughters

Lost their hope of escaping
but in this hidden place
I found a chance for reshaping
standing tall in the face
of my crimson enemy
holding me in a sea of longing
winds whispering of a remedy
I cast myself in a place of belonging

And take these shores
with it's many stones
I'll come without anger or remorse
to feel it in my bones
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

I want
my heart on a platter
so I can see the ins and outs
Want the act to matter
See it mirrored, my mouth, it shouts

Feels like
standing in front of the mic
singing of losing track of time
remembering this certain chime

Means I
don't really know how to defy
feeling lost in the rubble
of uncertainties and trouble

I hide
behind buckets full of the tide
I filled when the ocean didn't look
all I could see I took

I keep
time in a place safe and deep
live inside a moonlit jar
an ocean filled reservoir
read my own memoir
and said au revoir
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

You're trying to see
what it is she makes of thee
Flesh always burning
Bones always shaking
Head's always turning
to see many eyes waking

This bee hive heart is beating
dripping with golden excitement
watch wings stripping, flight of perceiving
she's reckless with incitement
Brain's buzzing
from all the lusting

What have you done
Lord of crimson?
Where do you want her to put all these dreams?
She's near, her slender feet walk on
Her newly sharpened tongue knows of no fears

Neither young nor old
either shy or bold
of this golden crowned goddess you shall behold
in your dreams she eats you whole,
that's what's been told
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Can someone please stop me from pouring,
out, and out
I'm afraid I might be emptied soon from crying out,
loud, so loud

Please let me find some peace of mind,
self, myself
Let me put this thing off, put it on the furthest,
shelf, rusted shelf

I'm so tired, so worn out,
letting, always letting
My veins are bruised from all of it,
fretting, all the fretting

Aren't you fed yet?
from the blood, so much blood
It starts to become one with
the mud, grey thick mud

I'm fed up with your decency,
irony, oh the irony
Full and fat of life's endless travesty
tragedy, it's a tragedy

Let me out of lying honesty,
don't talk to me, don't talk
I'm sick and tired of this car,
I rather walk, I will walk

I'll get somewhere eventually,
probably, mh, surely
Or maybe I'll get hit by one again on my way there,
pleasant thought, purely
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