Shofi Ahmed Jul 23
Tomorrow's sunrise
is a memoir.
It remembers
an exact mirror.

Like it showed up
a thousand times earlier.
At the end of the same
veiled night.

Once again will it take
a trip to the memory lane
and lay on a sea of primulas
interpreting in colour
that’s sweet dream!

The sun is in the know
It will paint across.
But own’t touch the rose
it will sleep in its dew.
Patrick Apr 19
Stars filled the sky of my heart.
Little spots of light that brighten up the dark.
One by one they came undone,
Bringing, along with darkness, fear of what I've become.

A fiery blaze that engulfs all known art.
A chaotic, blue storm that tears you apart.
You are left only feeling estranged.
Like your heart is just stock to be traded in the exchange.

One by one you lose your stars.
The only thing left before death: To pen your memoirs.
Of life, of love, of pain, of loss.
A heart more exposed that a man in the buff.

But who would read such a tragic tale?
Who would want to hear every gorey detail?
Who would want to imagine a pain so intense?
Who would want to know that you traded for love; Traded all your sense.

But there was never love returned.

This is a memoir of my heart.
The only redeeming fact: this tragedy became a warning in the form of art.
Breathe in the rustling leaves
Hide behind the unwanted plants that arise
From the creaks in the concrete.
Perhaps they have discovered a source of life
Far sublime than the one you dwell in.
The wind, the wind,
The wind blows opposite
To where the bird wants to go.
The wind, the wind,
The happy eucalyptus oscillating in unison
Bidding adieu to the birds in flight.
The wind, the wind,
Making fishes out of thoughts,
Myriad corals and hydrae out of trees.

The water tank
Formidable in its all absorbing blackness,
Contains the most lucid, transparent and fragile,
Of man’s ultimate conquests.
Water.
Which drips from above sometimes
When the sky salivates
At the hot porridge
Of a lifeless mess
Beneath itself.
Birds are like kites,
Leaves are like fingers
Dexterously typing whispers
Like signals to the wind.

Limited is the vision
Where we sit now.
Our backs immersed in the restlessness
Of the occasional writer;
Our eyes fixated on the botchy
Grey watercolor work of the sky.
Everywhere we look, wherever we see,
A band of seven colors break the reverie.
The enthusiastic trees type harder
All leaves in the virulence of a martyr.
Close your eyes.
Step beyond the panorama which
Refuses to bare itself before your soul.
Step beyond the boundaries of the visible,
Into the consolation of the miscible
Voices.

Moribund shrubs,
With faces of the half dead,
Half faced creatures of the unformed,
The cruel monotony of their demands resonate
Wildly with the marginalized.
How in their knots and hunches,
Leaves drooping intoxicated
From the light stolen away by
The more representative, the more vociferous,
Lies the silent acceptance of their abandon.
Here and there taller branches,
Crane towards the sunlight,
Hoping for the winds to listen,
Or perhaps,
For the sun to burn them away first.
Old cranes and their ignominious hoarse throats,
Can only coax words that are coarse.

The dull, blotted uniform grey
Densifies at certain places
A somber sleep indulges the sky.
The winds now,
In their frightful fancy
Scour the floor of your feet
Touching you soles,
Your shoulder, your spirit.
But the playful naught of the wind
Derives insatiable pleasure from
Tickling the trees,
Rocking the eucalyptus,
Till the moonlight washes away
All the eccentricities
Of the frivolous day.

After a joyous revelry,
The tree laughs less
The vigor in its chuckle realizes,
That it is time to retire.
The sky rearranges its clouds
To cast a pallor
Loses the yellow
The grey, for a darker, almost impenetrable
Black.
The water tank camouflages
With our beady eyeballs.
The transparent water fills up
You and me.
Our eyes dilate, staring into the sky
Bidding the dusk good-bye.
Come, live with me, a little
Poonam Mar 28
In the wake of twilight, When memories stir you
Unwrap the book of a soul, A sketch have been carved
Unravel a chronicle of its painter, Hidden in the canvas

Moments of lonely summer days, tumultuous rainy evenings
Craving for someone to hold, in freezing winter nights
Etched in the canvas, She painted it with words

Distance would be crossed, separated by life and death
Caress the words, You will feel her pounding heart
Smell the pages, Breathe in her feelings

Lifetime she has woven, It’s her mirror image
You will understand her, Love her more than you did
She sketched it for you, It had always been only for you

If smile brightens your eyes, It’s her smile for you
If it saddens, remember it would be only her sadness
Tears smudged in words, The ones she couldn’t hold

Her soul thrives in her memorabilia, Kept hidden in her lifetime
If you see her spirit between the lines, She will rest in peace
Wrap the chronicle as the twilight sleeps, Rest embracing her memories
Someday I'm going to wake up
From my old rocking chair,
Somewhere far beyond this shore
And begin writing a memoir on my laptop.
The title, though vague and mundane,
Will encapsulate the tales of my life's journey.

In it, I will say less about money
or the girls I once called honey.
But I will rather mention that one special lady;
Who stood by me and only called me baby.

I'm going to dedicate an entire chapter to my people,
I'm going to talk about their resilience to the struggle.
There will also be a chapter dedicated to love;
Love for mankind, my family and the man above.

I'm also going to make mention of all the things I have done.
Be it good or bad, I will write even if it takes the afternoon.
One by one I will write down everything I did wrong.
After that, I'll play me my favorite Bob Marly song,

That one that tells the story of slavery and redemption.
In that particular one, I will use a little procrastination...
And at the very end of that memoir, I will give thanks to God,
For grace upon my life, my kids, my hustle and for spoken word.

Someday I will wake up far beyond this shore,
and write the final chapter of my life's journey.
I will then reveal the last wish of my life before I die.
I swear it will be so funny, it'll make every reader laugh.

IB-Poetry ©️
3/25/2018
I really don't know much about writing a memoir, is this a part of it, have I revealed too much already?
Tsunami Mar 17
I talk to the moon every night,
During my evening smoke break.
Bathed in moonlight,
I ache.

Her and I,
Waltzing around the subject of goodbye.
We parley.

The stars,
Inquire of my lonliness
As if my memoirs
were written anonymous

Whisper to the nebulous clouds
resembling smoke from my lit cigarette
nothing to make a sound
Looping over and over on a cassette
i know you hurt me and you think its funny but i still love you and i still miss you
Rebel Heart Feb 17
I saw something today
That reminded me of you
So I picked up my phone
Put in your number
And excitedly waited to talk to you
But with every ring you didn't pick up
My heart dropped lower out of my chest
.
.
"I'm not near my phone right now.. that or I'm purposely ignoring you Shanon just leave a message at the beep.. or don't whatever"
.
Beep
.
.

And it all hit me all over again
The feeling of choking
On my own tears
Drowning out the rest of the world
Because it had been so long
Since I last heard your voice
Yet it seemed it was only yesterday
We were playing street hockey
And making fun of eachother
And talking on the phone all night long
Just to hang out all day after
...
We would talk about our past
And what our future may hold
We talked about our demons
And secrets we never told
...
I remember being so angry
The day you left
After all we've been through
No sorry
No goodbye
Not even a single note
Explaining why
You decided I wasn't enough reason
For you to not climb into that bathtub
And press that razor blade onto your skin
...
How dare the sky rumble
When they took your lifeless body just to throw it in the ground
How dare the others cry
When you didn't make a single sound
How dare the birds still sing
When the world was falling apart
How dare the moon still come up
When nothing in the universe seemed to make sense
How dare they believe poems had to rhyme
How dare they still talk about the good old days
How dare they believe for one second they knew you at all
And most of all
How dare you--

How dare you leave me so broken
How dare you leave me so alone
How dare you call me your best friend
Just to leave me on my own?

...
The darkness lingering around my past
Found a deeper grip around my soul that day
As I watched pieces of my heart
Leave with you
.
.
.
Now I find myself sitting here awkwardly
Finally being able to string these useless letters
Into coherent words
To ask you if you're still listening up in the clouds
How dare you not pick up anymore
When I call you on the phone?



~Who else am I supposed to talk to when late at night my demons won't be put to sleep?
Who else am I supposed to talk to when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and weep?
(Pieces of a very old, 22-page-long, extremely agonizing memoir that brought me to tears because how dare you, with all this pain you carry in your heart, not realize how much you're hurting me before you're even gone? ~BM)

(Front Page 2/18/2018)
Ammar Feb 10
we turn memories into memoirs
and
memoirs turn to pain
Phoebe Jan 23
Now
It has been four years.
I'm almost done with high school.
I miss us. I miss the things we did.
I haven't been back to that place in a couple weeks.
But I do remember the first text and call,
I remember you telling me about your girlfriend.
I remember when you broke up with her inexplicably.
I remember the pet names you called me and how much I liked them. I remember a bus ride to a festival where you were trying to take my phone and I wouldn't let go of it so you bit my arm.
You left marks all over my arm and I was turned on by it.
I remember when I was driving around with my grandpa in the golf cart while he golfed and how we stayed on the phone while I drove for hours.
I remember you singing Lana Del Rey, I remember those hours.
I remember the week you were single before you started dating the next girl.
I remember that week was the beginning of my sexuality and the end of my innocence.
I remember you telling me you liked to be called daddy.
I remember my overuse of that word.
But we still hadn't touched.
I remember your new girlfriend hating me
and there was a three month period where we couldn't be friends
because she said so
I remember when you told me she was forever and you loved her
I remember when I found out you had broken up with her the summer between freshman year and sophomore year.
I remember I was at the beach when you texted and asked if we could be friends again.
I remember going to band camp with you and being so happy we were friends again
I remember that band camp was when you went through my kik messages and saw all my videos.
I remember how embarrassed I was but also excited because you had seen them.
I remember you coming over to my house and making friends with my family.
It breaks my heart when they ask about you. You called my mom Mrs.Pillon all the time. I loved it.
I miss hearing you say Mrs. Pillon.
I remember being flirty again only to meet your next girlfriend.
I first crossed paths with her when you were on the phone with her and I moaned to embarrass you.
I remember being there on your first date with her at the utility field and her curving you.
I remember us sexting when you were with her and I remember sending you videos.
I don't remember how it started.
I remember how we only talked about it the day after maybe once.
I remember you saying we were like bother and sister and then said nevermind "siblings don't masturbate to each other"
I remember that one time we went to el rey just us two.
I remember you saying it was not a date.
I remember your stupid face and how embarrassed I was to like you
I remember the hours we spent together for band.
I remember all the events we went to together.
I remember sitting with you after all our competitions sophomore year.
I remember you would smack my leg and leave hand prints on me.
I remember how young we were and immature
I remember how often you took my phone and went through it.
I remember when you brought me to your apartment by the school but only ever let me inside if someone else was with us.
I remember meeting your younger brothers and how sweet they were.
I remember the second time I ever smoked weed I left the party I was at and walked to the school to give you a jacket I had bought you so you could go to the school dance with your girlfriend.
I remember being so in love with you and taking all your bullshit.
I remember being at Amanda’s party with you and when the basketball went over the fence.
I remember you going over to get it and getting stuck.
I remember everyone else left and I had to help you get back over.
I remember the way you said “please don’t leave me over here.”
I remember being in chemistry with you and your girlfriend and how she didn’t like me.
I remember when I got a message late at night from you saying all the right things and letting you cheat on her.
I remember the message I got from her saying she knew all about what we had been doing and our fight.
I remember I couldn’t call you and I told her everything.
I remember being in Hawaii when she called me names on twitter
and I remember when you broke up with her then got back together then broke up again.
I remember your calls apologizing and how you said we couldn’t be friends. Again.
I remember every moment of that time, being in that class with both of you watching you fix it with her.
I remember how controlling she was even before you cheated.
She was manipulative and told you you weren't a man for crying.
I remember not feeling bad for what we did with each other because of how fucked up she was.
I remember when you blocked me and never unblocked me.
I remember wanting closure and messaging you on the 4th of July going into junior year.
I remember drinking and eating an edible that night.
I remember how out of my mind I was
I remember you telling me I was nothing to you and I try not to remember everything else you said.
I remember seeing you and her together junior year and wanting to die.
I remember how angry I was that year.
I remember being so fucking mad at you and her and myself.
I remember when you finally truly left her.
I remember having that forensics class with you and how awkward it was.
I remember when you were sitting in the hallway outside and I had to pass by to get to class.
I remember you stopping me and apologizing.
I remember the whole conversation. I can’t forget it.
"Oh my you probably think I'm a dick" "yes I do" "sit down" and I slid down the wall halfway. "sit all the way down" and you said you broke up with her.
I remember the conversation went on and then ended with me going back into class and saying you owed me money.
I remember the way you laughed at that. I can't forget your smile.
I remember that class was so fun and made my day, everyday.
I remember the joking around that happened after that.
I remember everyone noticed our flirting and I felt so happy again.
I remember talking to you again and being so glad. I remember you coming up to my desk in that class.
I remember after school talking with you and how you said my name.
I can never forget the way  you said my name.  
I remember using google hangouts to talk in class and all the lyrics you sent me
I remember you were so jealous of Anthony and talking shit on him because he flirted with me
I remember everyone thinking we were together or liked eachother.
I remember finding myself in you even if it ended eventually.
I remember going to my first house party with you.
I remember getting high with you and the way you talked to my mom in the car.
I remember how fun those parties were and how safe I felt with you.
I remember being with your friends and feeling really cool.
I remember in June 2017 we went to a house party and smoked.
I remember how my mom picked us up that night and we dropped your friend off.
I remember you stayed sitting next to me in the backseat that night and us talking about college but that's all i remember about the conversation that night.
I remember we were talking and we were sitting so close, I still feel your leg against mine.
I remember I was looking at you and you were looking at me.
I can't remember what we were saying when I noticed your face was close to mine.
I remember things slowed down and I was just looking into your eyes.
But I remember looking into your eyes and both of us leaning in.
I remember forgetting anyone else was in the car.
I remember everything falling away when we were that close.
Just a second I remember looking at your lips and seeing your eyes and being so in love with you and we almost kissed.
almost.
Then we pulled up to your house and you had to go, I remember saying goodbye.
I remember we almost kissed
I remember the next day you claimed that never happened and got mad at me for even thinking you would ever kiss me.
I remember every time you broke my heart.
I remember when I went to a lake over the summer going into senior year and I told you I was on birth control
I remember I tried convincing you to fuck me.
I remember you agreeing to me giving you head.
And I remember you taking it back in the morning.
I remember you saying you needed to get clean and stay away from girls.
I remember believing you.
I remember finding out you got a girlfriend soon after saying that.
A freshman. I remember how mad that made me.
I remember being so hurt and I cursed you out.
I remember you doing drugs soon after that.
I remember your nasty habit of smoking cigarettes.
I remember us drifting apart after that.
I remember when I called you and asked why you didn't want me, you said I wasn't your type.
I remember how calm you made me.
I remember how happy I was near you and how sad I am now.
I remember a few weeks ago when you called me and asked for my friends number. To piss me off, I thought it was funny.
I remember a few days ago when I saw you in the hall and how it all came rushing back. I remembered how much I missed you.
I remember yesterday when I saw you again and fell right back to missing you.
I remember texting you and asking if we could start over and I remember you saying you didn't want problems and you're doing fine without me
I remember how that made me feel.
I remember you and I wish I didn't.
I remember how we never got our moment and I wonder all the time how you really felt. I wonder all the time.
Just some memories
Pat Broadbent Dec 2017
Day closes to an open window–
A sill, a still rest for my spent legs;
Torqued over to face the breeze, welcome chills
Swing the brush with each croak of my knees.

Laughs crane over amber roof clay–
And somewhere behind a white fence
It’s someone’s birthday, a dog brays, coos rouse a baby
Who cries off-key with the family’s song

A dark cluster shifts in the sky,
And the moon emerges from nil.
I’d forgotten my eyes but to see like this…
So long since the night kept me filled…

Spark lights strung in beads on a rope
-Chatoyant, chatoyant comme diamants–
“Brille et brille petit étoile” string the notes
of a mother’s rock-a-bye song

My squeak of a refrain pitters into the air
-Cassant, cassant comme verre-
No love from eclipses we sing to,
No peace from mullings in prayer

Then a fairy book glow sweeps this vision–
Its air thick and sweet to the tongue–
My glance caught by shimmering scales on the back
Of this Ville like a dragon in slumber
—oh, to dance on that spine
—to leap from his eaves into air!
—to fly with these legs where I don’t have to sleep
—and days don’t sit brittle and spare

But fingers to the pulse in my cheek—
To a cauldron of wicked alchemy—
Trace an infection spreading like dragons’ wings
Where beasts may be best left sleeping.

Painfully pretty, the light grows ever fainter,
I should drink it in while I can still see—
There’s a reason art’s left to the painter,
And my brush colors sorrow on everything.


But I’m not sorry now, nor sad, though my eyes water
And wobble the world ’til I blink;
With my back towards the concrete, grounded, this altar
Casts a reverence over everything.
Still in works
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