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My leg hurts

The jaws of this inhumane trap engulf my lower shin

I have the tool to disarm it and free myself

But I muttle in my adolescent egocentric pain

Caught within monotonous routine and self interest I rot like my peers

I've sunk to a level of self loathing, that I enjoy pulling myself down

I

Am

Disgusting.

I

Need

Help.

I cry for things I can give myself but alas I withhold it to feel sorry for myself

Me and my fellow youth

Equally as useful, equally as useless

Although I am free of the crowd I am still blinded by my adolescence

Purpose

Interest

Intellect

Great-fullness

Peacefulness

Gen­erosity

Love

PURPOSE

all I've know is I am here to be a vessel for knowledge and indoctrination

I am here to have an opinion I voice, but does not matter.

I do not matter.

This function is welded to me

However...

The voice of destiny reasons with me again and I hear:

Seek what's within

Garrot it.

Place yourself into the walls of meaning and the murals upon't

Serve others in selflessness. Share with others in selflessness. Learn from others in selflessness. Teach others in selflessness.

Your a **** in the samsara. Do your duty within its game.

Gain higher consciousness so you can share the path to it. Become a giver, not a taker.

Interest

Intellect

Great-fullness

Peacefulness

Genero­sity

Love

Six lessons left, define yourself within them. Or perish within your self indulgent pitiful hole.
Got a Tool lyric in there for those who like Tool

Anyway...

This is the firt lesson of my ascension

After more than some self reflection I thought I was ready to post a kind of collection of what I've found so far. Obviously I haven't reached ascension yet. So it's kind of unfit to call this collection ascension. It's more of some lessons I've learned in self reflection and my path to ascension I want to pursue throughout my life. Hope you take something away from this or be influence to write poetry yourself. Maybe do some of your own self reflection I don't know. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Sorry I am a quite person IRL so everything I vent here is pretty long.
I know not what I am
But I sure as **** am scared
Sometimes I catch a glimpse
and wish I had not dared.

I haven't been myself I mumbled,
it's been a short 4 years.
Yet everyday I am humbled!
to be honest with my fears!

Surviving off my self loathing
are the devilish voices that I feed.  
Watering my mind's garden is refreshing
and THAT'S the energy that I need!
This piece has a very surprisingly optimistic point of view by the end of it.
edited.
Anxiety
Blaring.
Coinciding
Depression.
Endlessly
Feeling
Gross.
How
I’ve
Just
Kept
Living’s a
Mystery.
Not
One
Person
Questioned
Reasons,
Sensed
Trouble,
Understood
Vulnerability and
Worrying,
‘Xtrapolated
Yesterday’s lack of
Zeal.
anotherken Jan 2
I wrote this poem for me.
I wanna show to the world:
I'm the biggest *******.

Hey, you!
You ****.
You are a ****-up.
I made this poem--no, this song,
To immortalize me:
I hate yourself.

I think you ****.
You make me sick.
I want to burn you, just for fun.
This is my song.
Look at your friends.
Your family.
They left you.
And it's all your fault.
You've been a bad boy.
You've been a big *******.
And ******* congratulations:
You played yourself.

You got no one to go to:
You got no one to vent to.
I can't stand you at all?
Why won't you
Jump off a train
Overdose
Skin yourself
Sell some drugs
Play Frogger
Kiss a toad
Drink liquid oxygen
Stab yourself
Drown yourself
Shoot yourself
******* some delinquents
Go to a war
Play a guitar
Write a poem
Show it to your friends
Get laughed at
Cry
Suffer
Die?

You are alone.
You won't be recognized.
You won't be loved.
You won't have any friends.
See you in ****.
Hope it burns real good.

God, you've been the inspiration
For this wonderful poem
I hate you so much
That I wrote this poem
For us to be immortalized

Yeah, I hope I ******* die.
Vent poem
Marii Dec 2018
It has become an unbearable thought to drag around this body that no longer feels like my own

I hate that I know its limits and lacks,
It's excess and ungodly elaborations

I hate that I feel stuck

And erasing my outlines won't change the already coloured-in picture,

So I guess I'll have to make use of magic markers to add and deduct some inner colours in order to feel weightless once again.
I was feeling stuck and Wonder came up on television. This poem was going to go in a different direction until then.
Lee Dec 2018
Dead inside yet then revived,
A light taught me to feel alive,
The spark inside has been relit,
But what am I to do with it?
Afraid to lose what I have now,
So much to give but don't know how,
It's hard to know just how to be,
But that's just life, that's me, just Lee.
Lee Dec 2018
I filter through these thoughts and inner struggle in my brain,
They say perception is reality but the truth is blurred again,
Equal parts of beauty and of torment cause a strain,
But you can't see a rainbow without a little bit of rain.

There's way too much to lose but what am I allowed to gain?
I'll take the rough with the smooth and just stay in my lane,
I know I can't come close to even trying to attain,
So why then do I feel so many things I can't explain?

My soul has found a friend, I have no reason to complain,
But what good is there inside of me for her to entertain?
Can I overcome my boundaries? This I need to ascertain,
Just wish I could be better, I'm full of self-disdain.

At the very core of me it's actually quite plain,
I've been touched by an angel and her essence I contain,
I pray to who will listen that my flaws will cause no strain,
Whatever happens I must make sure my sunshine will remain.
ren Dec 2018
why is my reflection looking at me like that,
i am starting to feel judged by my own self
and as i look deeper into my own eyes,
i try to wipe away my face.
my face still remains the same
and i am once again disappointed-
why can’t i be erased?
Sophia Dec 2018
you aren't beautiful
you aren't funny
you're nothing special

SHUT UP

you aren't talented
nothing like her
just look at that weight

SHUT UP

isn't it hilarious
that their opinion of you
is exactly the same as yours?

SHUT UP

or is it vice versa?

SHUT UP

isn't it amusing
that you try to play victim
when you're a bully yourself?

SHUT UP

i find it intriguing
that you blame them
for your hurt

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

you
are
the
sole
cause
of
every
thing
wrong
with

Y O U.
Lost Nov 2018
I can’t remember the last time
I felt like I had a home

I hide in my room
And that is my house

I stow myself away
Like stashed contraband

I am not meant
To see the light of day

I am a ***** secret
I am the black sheep

Even my own mother
Doesn’t have faith in me

I’ve heard it directly
Straight from her mouth

I see it intangibly
In her furrowed brow

I don’t have a place
Where I feel familiar

I stand on the outside
Of every circle

I used to wonder
What I was doing wrong

But I think that I know
That it’s just who I am

I am not meant
To have a place

I own nothing of worth
I have no land

I sabotage my life
I throw away my efforts

For the chance to lay in bed
For a couple more hours

I am an observer
Watching the race

I see people running
Fast and hard

Toward the life they want
And the happiness they deserve

But I’m on the bleachers
Sitting and wasting

All of my energy
All of my time

I don’t do much work
But I still whine

“I have no money”
“I have no job”

But there’s nobody to blame
Except myself
Everything
Boils down
To being
My fault

But I don’t want pity
Especially not from myself

So I trade it in for self-loathing
And devalue my health

I don’t eat some days
But some days I binge

Some days I puke
But others I hold it in

“Do you want to change?”
Even my therapist knows

That I’ve settled for misery
That I’m destined for woe

I shut my eyes
And live in the dark

Because when I open them
All I see

Is the mess I made
That binds and traps me

I give up
It’s just what I do

It’s the only thing I’m good at
Causing this distress
I put myself through

I hold myself responsible
I don’t point the finger of blame

Except in the mirror
This is a personal shame
Definitely not a good poem. Very whiny. I refuse to settle for a ****** existence, but I do feel like this a lot. It’s just negative thoughts and self-doubt. I’m learning to ignore it, but they’re very persistent. I know it will get better with time and practice.
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