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wafa Mar 19
Today
my mother sent pictures of my cats
with my house on the background.

Everything looks the same as the day I left.
It's like time has barely passed over there
but here,
it feel like forever has passed by.

When it's only been 3 days.
How do I do this for another 3 years?
jaden Nov 2021
life gets clear when the wind gets cold
it’s biting really
nipping at every nose and
noise and noose maybe
i’m attracting an autumn depression maybe
maybe heart misses home tonight
it’s two in the morning and
i’m not asleep and
the seasons are shifting so
the fan is unplugged and unused and
my thoughts are weighted and worthless
to the hometown i hate,
i miss seeing the october sunrise while taking the train to school every morning
to the hometown i hate,
i miss being able to wear uggs, hats and scarves already at the end of september,
to the hometown i hate,
i miss being able to buy 90 cent face masks and my favorite protein bars at the drugstore 10 minutes away from me
to the hometown i hate,
i miss seeing the porsches and mercedes c-classes parked on the curbes of our sidewalks
to the hometown i hate,
i miss the quietness of my area
to the hometown i hate,
i miss being able to speak a language i know fluently, not worrying about the anxiety i get if i get into a complicated situation
to the hometown i hate,
i miss running in the quiet, clean, green forest next to us
to the hometown i hate,
i miss sleeping in my own bed, in the room i did not like
to the hometown i hate,
i miss being able to go to my fully-equipped kitchen and bake whenever i want to, which i complained was too small until i moved into my dorm
to the hometown i hate,
i miss you
Luna Insomnia Oct 2021
the homesick one looks up to ask
"please, when do we go back?
for tears will quickly do their task,
will carve another track"

the knowing one just turns and smiles,
explaining once again,
that back is so much more than miles,
that now has become then

the homesick one, though, doesn't hear
the answer, for the thousandth time,
she wants to turn a deafened ear
so may the truth well chime

the truth that home is far away
that there will be a thought of when,
until that longed-for summers day
when she is home again

that home forever grows
the knowing one reminds once more
as sure as anything she knows
it's right there in her core

yet homesick one still asks and calls
relentlessly for home
she feels imprisoned by the walls
she wishes she could roam

she begs and screams for unity
for just one little trace
of love, of that community
where she had found her place

the knowing ones exterior cracks
the smile cant further hold
the tears now finally run their tracks
and masks begin to fold

and suddenly they all burst out
my knowing, homesick tears
of longing and I almost shout
something to never reach their ears

I want to scream how this is wrong
that I feel empty without them
that where my love and joy will stem
is the home where I belong

I dont, of course, I never would
the knowing one reminds me soon
that home I know is just as good
and still I long for come next June
This is my way of wording the feelings I have about the summer camp, which is my home in many ways and which I miss desperately every year after coming home
dorian green Aug 2021
all my life i told myself
that i would be free by now -
but the farther i went,
the less i knew.
maybe lost is worse than
suffocating,
or maybe i just
want my mom.
i thought i'd be more
complete by now -
but i don't feel ready for anything,
i just feel scared.
Alice Jun 2021
You
I thought it was homesickness
So I came home

And nothing changed.

If home is where the heart is,
I'm sick for you.
Once I lived inside of you.
Your body was my first home.
I will miss you so much
When you go...
and I will be homesick
for the rest of my days.
As my mom’s life ebbs away, I am learning so much about love and time and pain. I have hope for both of our futures. I believe her spirit will always be with me, but the shelter of her arms will not. This is love and it is worth the pain.
Alvira Perdita Apr 2021
when we sit in the shade
from the burning sun on the
autumn afternoon, listening
to the children hunt for eggs,
all i can think is that you all
belong here.

i am the imposter, i can feel that they know. your jokes are all funny and i can't find the energy to laugh.

i don't want to be here, i hate 'family lunch'es, i hate pretending to be alright when i just want to sit in my room, alone.

family is always priority for me,
but i cannot place them in my life.
so we sit, laughing with all your loved ones,
and i pretend not to feel alone.
i dont think i'll see 2022 if things carry on this way.
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