These weighed down bundles of my tumbled dried insides collapse into heavy stacks of cotton linen sheets, tangled; memories of cold pressed touches and warm suds wash over me, while my seams come undone in my hands.
Why do you think these threads can be untangled? I've looked at your patchwork heart and oh, how I wish mine could be mended like that, but I hope you can understand, I've broken many needles in the process and I'm not sure I can afford to start again.
Sometimes it's hard to let another person take a ***** at loving you. Maybe it should be said it's hard to look at yourself and take a ***** at loving yourself, again, too.
Once the war was over, and we stood on opposing sides, waving white flags in the wreckage and the blood, I took myself and the lingering ring of gunfire to mourn my loss and grieve.
I focused on mending; mending my heart and newly missed limbs, immersing myself in new routines, scrubbing away the debris left under my nails the mechanical effort of breathing all day leaving me exhausted each night in a bed for two, curled around an empty space which grew sombre in the dark.
Eventually, I could tuck you away in the back corner of the cupboard in the box labelled 'before the war,' and I could breathe just fine but couldn't find my voice, trapped in the fortified cocoon I'd built to convalesce.
These days though, I am butterfly new, uncertain and yet unfurled, braving the winds outside the cocoon, in hope they will catch the voice I'm finding.
I thought I could shove you to the back of my closet, make you another skeleton with cracked bones that were never able to mend. But when it was midnight and my room was as dark as the moon ridden sky, I could still hear your blood pumping, and the sound of your fingernails clawing at the door searching for the missing piece of your heart.
I thought I could ignore it, and silence your scent that somehow still lingered on my skin. Until I realized no perfume could mask the shadow you had casted on me. So I unbox your pieces and step back into my old life, realizing maybe we weren’t dead after all. The sensation of your lips touching my skin once again was the warmest my iron lacking body had felt since the day I left.
It’s midnight again, but I’m back in your room. It’s as dark as the moon ridden sky, yet there’s starlight drizzling over your face. All this time I refused to believe that we were made of the same stardust, until I finally saw our constellation finding its way back together.
In all honesty I'm honestly A little lost Probably very lonely and thinking
What does it matter? What is the matter with me? Because you see I see you hurting It's not working and it all fell it feels like falling all over again, I'm trembling Breaking and mending
A terrible way for a marriageable idea to come through only to hurt you my gentle heart now we might part
But healing is on it's way I'll never lose this feeling til the day of decay
To keep losing people that have been close to you is probably supposed to happen a lot in your life but it doesn't mean that it's not painful as ****. But I know it will be okay again one day. And you'll be okay too. Hold on to what you want to believe in.
How blameless is that stone lying beneath the sky beside the shore Sway of woe showering up to him Indignity, nope Kicked to the depth By someone he cared about Memories scintillating as he’s drowning down The happiest laughs and the saddest tears screening up He’s down, drowned in his mind Heart trying to swim Hope falling ill. His heart was full of love He loved her ton For her it was only fun. Love is more painful Then a shot by a gun Slowly setting was the sun. He and the darkness Gone astray As the moon came in His world was she, as he thought Soon he learnt, it wasn’t her. We live our lives People live theirs Prominently, we should be ours Rather being someone else’s Live every moment with the ones that truly cares Not with the ones who give a ****. Always remember Loving is not easy, nor living Like breathing Keep doing.
We were so close A friend in life Who could take my woes And cut them with a knife Yet I was a flake I want to mend this mistake
I chased others Who said they'd stay Then flew like feathers The very next day My heart they take I want to mend this mistake
I missed your presence The way we smiled We were a menace Living life wild For our own sake I want to mend this mistake
Then one day you spoke And still cared for me You fixed what I broke And I felt so happy Now I lie awake Mended is my mistake
Taylor I ignored you, and I'm sorry. Even though most of the people I ignored you for became my closest friends, I didn't have to leave you behind. Those who misled me to forget you, I am not a fan. So now it's just up to me to mend what I can.