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10.7k · Sep 2018
Nightswimming
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

The room in starlight bathed
My body unscathed
Swimming indoors
sheets are shores

Wash over me like the tide
for I don't sleep at night
Swimming indoors
where it always pours

Moon reflection
on my cushion
Swimming indoors
following ancient lores

Diving deep to find
an Atlantis on my mind
Swimming indoors
til reaching the dream's source
9.1k · Aug 2018
Sepulchre
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Sleeping in a silent forest
night sky come and swallow me whole
I promise I won't protest
These stars may fill my tired soul
And these trees, oh, how I love thee
Lush and green, dark and eerie
This is where I long to be
Here is where I'd never be weary
I put my life onto the earth
Dig myself a hole for a bed
This is where lies all lifes worth
Here everything is, I miss nothing I haven't had

Roots may pervade me, leafs shall cover
And in my stead another will grow
I will dissolve in the arms of my last lover
And of all misfortune it will never speak nor will it show

On new branches my soul will hang
until another
8.6k · Jul 2018
Let me have
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
Sometimes I ask myself
when did my thoughts and hopes of blue and green
turn into violet worries, violent dispositions
When did this soul with its empty bookshelf
burn all its unwritten scripts of things yet to be seen
and my steady solace turn into a contradiction

I know what I want in life
when I see my favorite pieces of art
scattered accross the canvas of my solitary nights
my cold fingers once touched it and I can count it on all five
I want to believe that I'd be content with really only a shard
to know my dreams aren't just made of imaginary sights

My open heart drives me
in uncertain directions with clear aspiration, sometimes just insane
but always looking, always wanting, always one heart ahead
If my eyes could only look beyond uncertainty and I'd finally see
a way that goes far and will let me travel along a green country lane
If I could feel as if I'd know why it seems so difficult not to be dead.

In everything that had to be broken and shed
these distant promises on remote and empty shores
For only the contingency of all that could be good and whole
Truly not knowing where this road might have led
and still keep my hands open and reaching and breathe in deeply through all of my pores
let me just find one wholesome and abiding content in this burning library inside my soul
A very deep-rooted and emotional piece that just started to flow out of my head into my hands and finally on this page. I'm at a better place today, surely. But there's still so much that feels empty and uncertain and not.. quite right. And things sometimes seem so hopeless and sad in such strangely and terrifyingly normal ways. It's difficult to hold on to things that you want to live for. Here's to all the blind but necessary hope!
5.3k · Jul 2018
I met the worst kind of poet
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
I take my imaginary pen
I write down my anger
I close my eyes and count to ten
just to breathe a little longer

It's laughable really
when I see you justifying
Sure, you're all touchy-feely
only goodwill, so hard-trying

When you said that to me
where was your heart at?
Why calling me your better-half-to-be
when all you wanted was a shoulder pat?

Oh you, with your wonderful poetry,
oh, lies so beautifully written down
please just stop, you don't know no poverty
in your emerald sea everything you wanted me to believe is to drown

I never thought you would make me think
the worst of you instead
And I swear I could only stand and stare and shrink
when you didn't care to lose your head

Now you haunt me like the headless horseman
and you will forever
but I do not worry for my sanity, oh boy of thoughts turned cyan
I walked with ghosts before and a headless one is so less clever

And if you ever come back looking for this head of yours
Think twice, try a little bit harder wannabe
It might stick out of the sand at your emerald sea shores
Your love for me was never poetry
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

I want
my heart on a platter
so I can see the ins and outs
Want the act to matter
See it mirrored, my mouth, it shouts

Feels like
standing in front of the mic
singing of losing track of time
remembering this certain chime

Means I
don't really know how to defy
feeling lost in the rubble
of uncertainties and trouble

I hide
behind buckets full of the tide
I filled when the ocean didn't look
all I could see I took

I keep
time in a place safe and deep
live inside a moonlit jar
an ocean filled reservoir
read my own memoir
and said au revoir
3.1k · Aug 2018
In my state of mind
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
In the blink of an eye
I lost myself
I said goodbye
I turned my head and went
I turned it again and again.
Til it send
all my past selves to fly with the wind
By the morning I was born anew
And yesterday had sinned
I left my old clothes on the windowsill
I might pick them up and fly right out
One day, yes, first I'll climb this hill
Get all the way on top of it
with feet sore of rocky walks
with shoes that never really fit
I'll get up there just to see
to find there is
another me
And maybe here I'll find
life is not what life once was
it's really all a state of mind
2.6k · Sep 2018
Late
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

At the fjord
a body floats on a board
how it got there
no one knows

At seaside
you pushed against the tide
I didn't send you off
but you came back

I begged for you
at least stay true
keep away
your harmful attitude

There you are
washed ashore from afar
How did you get here
and why did you come?

It took me so many beaches
and seas just to reach this
a part of my own
somewhere to calm

You will never know
with what I fought and how
I can't make you more
than a in-the-back-of-my-head thought

I kneel down next to you
I don't know if you sacrificed and what you've been through
I'm feeling reluctant to cut you off
but it's too late for other choices

I smile, I'm sorry
I won't forget, don't worry
I take a rock
and end it then and there
2.4k · Sep 2018
Almost
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

Almost
found a hope that prevails
reaching for me under a starlit tent
Almost
built a boat that sails
across all oceans as they bend
Almost
filled my book with tales
an anthology of moments I didn't attend

Almost
what a terrible word
holding such a stinging truth
Almost
felt like it's all worth the hurt
while wasting years of restless youth
Almost
called out and haven't been unheard
found something I couldn't lose


Almost
thought any path would get me there
where wholesomeness is not just hearsay
Almost
kept a fire in sight that brought me to where
I would find the light of day
Almost
made them proud of me, made them care
made them listen to what I had to say

And now
from where I stand
a lyrical sadness
paper in my hand
I know this is true
                                                            ­             I can almost see you
2.3k · Sep 2018
This ghost haunts itself
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

My father said believe in nothing
My mother told me everyone will do you wrong
I thought to be taught a wise lesson
Sang along this song for far too long
Wasn't sure I'd know how to forget
or how to move on

My father cried only once
My mother never stopped her tears
Are we just vessels to be filled
with our forerunners' endless fears
Of a life that is begging to be lived
Just to be dead on arrival at the piers

My aunt said do what's asked of you
In the end no one could tell me how it's done
I jumped off the boat of broken ones
and got washed up at distant shores unknown
Though since then I saw many bright suns
never has anything clear been shown

Endless days of wondering
endless ways to go on pretending
always kneedeep in my head, always pondering
and how fiercely I'd like to be defending
the fragile insides of my chest but I let them keep plundering
hearts and hopes are constantly breaking and mending

To this shell I'm bound
for now my heart is cold and my ghost is still
in awe of what I haven't found
sitting on my mind's windowsill
wishing for a wind of change. May it be profound.
2.0k · Aug 2018
The first cup in the morning
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Morning dew
kitchen smells of last nights stew
Sleepy eyes brew
Coffee for two
Words, many or few
We simply follow through
I touch your hand like to sew
Two hearts that are true
A soft kiss on awakening lips too
Welcome the warmth between me and you
Me and you and morning dew
Blade Maiden Oct 2018
I don't think I know
where to begin or
where to go
How to leave chance behind
how to change perceptions
how to treat my own mind

I don't know
why I have this need
to share and to show
Exactly where I stand
ever spilling heart in hand

I don't know why
I keep asking for truth
from strangers only passing by
Same old retreat
numbing sadness on repeat

I have no idea
what to tell you now
how to make myself more clear
How to leave and how to save
how to make my feet behave

I'm a glass full of shards
a peculiar collection
lots of shiny unknown parts
I don't know who I am anymore
I don't think I knew before
1.3k · Sep 2018
Vargr fljóð - Wolf woman
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
The wolves are hungry tonight
and so is she
her heart does know no fright
with her pack she longs to be

Under the bloodmoon
see her limbs grow
her feral body is to swoon
turning wolf into lady from head to toe

Her brothers and sisters sharp teethed
running with the winds of winter
in this cold and star-bright night they will feast
blood smearings in the snow look just like cinder

Hear her song howling through the air
all ice melts underneath her fiery feet
as they catch and bite and tear
lucky ones see her eyes before their demise they meet

'Tis the night of the hunt
benighted men will not run
shouting "Begone! Animal! ****!"
happily she devours them, flayed bodies in the morning sun

She's always lurking, lusting for your smell
Dripping wet her mouth with the juice of life
no one lived for the story to tell
of the wolf woman, dark wood's feral wife
1.2k · Oct 2018
Blight
Blade Maiden Oct 2018

This ripe darkness
this mourning dream
a wrenching weakness
fit for the guillotine

An arrangement made
sheer comfort prepared
the end of fate
and, oh, how I dared

This dry paper
this cold pit
an agonising vapor
that smells of blood and spit

'Tis my mind
my wicked flesh
a soul pined
peeled off and fresh

Dressed soft tongued
I raised Cain
being shunned
silenced I remain

This dawning fright
this nightly echo
here comes the blight
light, don't let go
1.1k · Oct 2018
Epoch
Blade Maiden Oct 2018

Traveling through an ocean-like space
I'm breaking like the waves
I arrive and crush on your shores
crawl into each and every pore
I dissolve into foam
which follows a storm
The storm becomes me
I rage over rock and tree
Devastation as I take
make room for renewal and remake

I brush away home and town
these empty houses, I tear them down
no place left to hide for the hunger
shall these demons come so I can pull them under
Make them eat the dirt they keep feeding to you and me
I will make them swallow and suffocate their glee
And when darkness comes I will be thunder
lightening the sky and breaking it asunder
And through this opening you will descend
everything that has been broken you can mend

Don't despair, love, take pride in me
The force of nature you clearly see
Believe in this inner symbiosis
Create your own apotheosis
Everything is well
Even in these dark times in which you dwell
This nature will never leave you
nor will it ever betray what is true
See through the eyes of your keeper
even when you think you can't sink deeper

What you are you shall hold dear
and walk this blackness without fear
Whatever wounds you carry away from this tourney
it's worth every step of this journey
Fight until your blood runs dry
pick up your worth again and again until you die
no need to run, no need to hurry
believe in your nature and don't worry
Sleep will come eventually
until then rage against life's brevity

You stand unbowed and unbroken by your ache
and leave life in your wake
956 · Sep 2018
Radio Silence
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
Radio Silence
in my head
in my bed
as I've met
many dark creatures
in my dreams
all in my dreams
so as it seems
This Radio Silence
is leaning over
I can't take cover
my thoughts they hover
around my dark-minded lover
ruins my eyesight
as I hide
in this shadowed light
and I abide
I abide
no care for pride
It's for the fool
the one that knows better
I rather drown in a pool
suffocating in words I drool
as I ascend
as my physics bend
blood-colored steam rises
my guilt finally liberalizes
Radio Silence
as I shout defiance
Radio Silence
as I speak of compliance
Radio Silence
a sort of reliance
when I lie in stillness
contemplating my wrongful illness
and ask for forgiveness
Blade Maiden Dec 2018
Since I already knew
I'd die of a broken heart
I made preperations
treating my death like art

Stop worrying
I took care of everything
the guests and the burying
even ordered flowers in early spring
I'm still around. If anyone was actually wondering where I've been I apologize. I missed posting on here so I might get back to it more often. No promises. I hope you, whoever reads this, are having a good day, week, month.. and if not, hang in there. Just hang in there.
816 · Aug 2018
Empress Emptiness
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Life, the big distraction
How it weaves around all that lies deep within
It's all but one fraction
and this fraction in itself to life feels like a sin

The emptiness.
We all know of it
To our yearning, its empress
Nothing ever seems to fit
Right where emptiness sits
in its grand old throne room

A loneliness.
Both residing in these enormous halls
with nothing there to impress
Even they can't keep each other company
for they're one and the same
only wearing anothers name

I listen to my favorite song
Let me read this book that's been sitting on my shelf for so long
Maybe I'll go and buy these flowers I saw the other day
Wouldn't they look just lovely in my living room, I say
how sweet, how good, all is well
in this calming simplicity I dwell
til the sin seeps through:

only a distraction;
nothing will ever fill nor forever keep what it hides
the room where empress emptiness resides
783 · Aug 2018
Living collage
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Terrible remains,
I make them part
Human refuges
in a misused heart
I hang my canvas high
over your head
a painting of a life
not yet led
I place my hand on your anthology
I dissect your words in an attempted autopsy
Inside I find lovers that speak like mourners
my thoughts bleed and accumulate in your corners
I press myself against your notebook
escape others estranged look
And fill your pages with my red
until you're happy and well fed
our bodies are an assembly
our only vessels, bruised and trembly
my armadas of paper boats
may slip through the cracks
to fill us both up
with all that lacks
763 · Sep 2018
Flowers for a spider
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

Is it wrong to feel
it all unfold
to want my tongue to peel
off the words that have been foretold
to let my chest burst open
feel the nectar of flowers all find their place within
My body's nothing more than a token
caught in darkness for far too long my lively swarm has been

And oh, the misery
I can't let them out
The only bliss, you see
is when the humming isn't so loud
But today my ears can't take the noise
my body aches, its been holding and breaking
I thought somewhere in all that buzzing I heard a voice
But I'm afraid I'm just anothers nest in the making

In my dreams I see my bees leaving
they all fly away
and I can't blame the spider for weaving
turning this hive into her own flowery array
Soon this place might as well be forgotten
for I know nothing about actual flowers
and they will all be rotten
and there over my lost mind an old tree towers

This tree will be my grave
I shall be buried alive
til something may save
the leftovers of my overgrown heart, this bee hive
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
I have a strength in me
I fall in and out of love with thee
Brew a cup of unsweetened tea
for my strength and me

I sit them down and we talk for hours
On my table a vase of flowers
they brought me from outside where it showers
rain against the window, the trees look like towers

My strength calmly saying
our worries we should be laying
down upon the roots, no need for praying
stop the constant weighing

Of your worth and mine
you don't own these trees or the rain but this life is thine
now we will have tea, soon enough we'll be drinking wine
Over a hot cup my strength promises: we'll be just fine
713 · Aug 2018
Innocent dreams
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
No better place but inside my dream
to leave the world and it's endless scheme
my fingers tracing violet mountains
that turn into illustrious fountains
of things I want to do with you
if you and I could ever follow us through

I wonder where I'd start my journey
Give the starting signal for our particular tourney
Getting into delicate positions
movement in passion my only mission

Sensuality comes easily
I want you to lean into me
let's be a little bit sentimental
no words needed when we become intrumental

In my dreams we hold on tight
to the endless possibilities of a night
under a cold and steady moon
Goodnight love, we'll see each other soon.
677 · Sep 2018
Used
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
Ah
it's cold
and I have a hard time
holding this pen
like I used to

So
I unfold
I'm convinced of my crime
hiding in my den
like I'm used to

And I've been holding on
dreaming, fading,
tired for so long
I remember your voice
Can I ever hold you
can I ever have the choice
I'm not used to

Why is it being so ******* me
how am I always wrong
when the voices tell me I'm free
but really all I want is to belong
Anything could be better
Nothing is the matter

It's alright
go back to sleep
it's just another lonely night
I'll feel better after I weep
til tomorrow
another gloom
wraps me in trivial sorrow,
For you I'll go catch the moon
your blanket looks warm, just tonight, can I borrow
If you don't need me, I promise I'll leave soon
I'm used to
674 · Aug 2018
Let us share our escapism
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Escapism is always fleeting
it's the law
Two sides must be competing
and an escape we saw

So we continue to burn
these words inside
Towards a shrine we turn
leaving ashes for others delight

I collect yours, you collect mine
like dust in an urn
As I give it freely it shall be thine
Of each others escapism we may learn

Knowledge is my thirst
so I sip from the ambrosia of books
You, who saw my wisdom first
a heart made of poetry, this is how it looks
664 · Sep 2018
Myrkva - Darken
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
Helheim isn't a place
its fires only burn inside one's head
a dark and roaring space
a tomb for the dead

Dead cogitations
pitiful victims
of a mind's limitations
and shallow benedictums

There I dwell
dark imagination
an endless pit, a bottomless well
darker still the manifestation

Thoughts shrouded in mist
Hela is waiting
by the great shadow I am kissed
and all is fading

I get lost, I don't protest
deep inside this maze
by this darkness I will be blessed
and find comfort in this haze
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
I'm in plain sight
hiding underneath a crooked sky
I saw two lions fight
standing on the end of a staircase, thought I could fly

I heard of this world before
the one of endless ideas
A space I used to adore
now filled endlessly with fears

Let me go to the furthest place in my mind
where gravitation still has it's place
I need to grativate, I need to find
that corner of my eye, that lost part of my face

Send me forward to my hollow moon
in his cold embrace I turn a blind eye, I turn
I'll light my fire, it will be the sun soon
and I'll finally
burn,
burn,
 burn...
626 · Jul 2018
Quite naked
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
Lying half naked in bed
thinking about all the lovers I haven't had
and sometimes it makes me mad
that they probably aren't even sad
cause there's always someone else they could have met

Filling myself up with solitary sensuality
I keep asking how much of this can be reality
when we were never one but lovers in singularity
and only in late-night-born words there was sexuality
merely a disturbance of tranquility

And as I lay there in the warmth of my solitude
Hot waters find an opening in unfulfilled gratitude
they leave my eyes, then run down my spine in some strange interlude
and I'm getting scared of an emtpy platitude
of feeling like a ****** *******

Because my spine is not endless
and neither is the beating of a heart kept loveless
I'm tired of phrases, of having to confess
to love that seems only to know how to obsess
that tries hard to be profound but then is still just heartless

I try to see some good in the fact
that my spine is therefor still somewhat intact
and beyond this tiring and ongoing act
I calm myself, 'There's still time to find', I'm committing to the pact
619 · Oct 2018
Castle Lighthouse
Blade Maiden Oct 2018
Lighthouse shine a light for me
in these dark times it is hard to see
will you shine a light so I might be
(some day)
found

Meaning got lost in the rubble
trust has only brought me trouble
People hiding inside their bubble
(seems like we are all)
bound

Fires would you burn
I got lost after taking the last turn
what is there to find, what is to learn
(we feel like being, being)
drowned

Please, show me a way
it is hard to go, so much harder to stay
I walk, I halt, I run, I stray
(everything's loud but I make no)
sound

Lighthouse, my castle of warmth
how I miss your steady arms
and your happy, glowing charms
(how is seeing you in the distance so)
profound

Like ancient kings and queens
of a wisdom that redeems
though never knowing what it all really means
(in uncertainty, lonely, in melancholy once again)
crowned
610 · Jul 2018
Sunbright
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
It's a wide sun
who's light travels
from my silly head
to my stubborn heart

And back again
and back again
it goes in burning circles
and yet never fails to shine

If you look closely
you might be lucky
and catch a glimpse
of my fiery desire to be

Since I have little
but I have as much
as the sun gives in warmth
and I'd as such
give it gladly and settle
to heat up your cold arms
567 · Aug 2018
Sweet dreams
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
There

I lay my eyes
on something battered

Red the only color
another's apart and shattered

Dreams of a ****** consciousness

Rest in peace
solace

See me
mirrored

Touching others inner
borrowed

By ancient
minds

The keeper
finds

Skinned thoughts
dressed in shadow

Mind's a maze
ecstasy and sorrow

Leave it to
a ghost haunted

By phantasms
scattered and taunted

This blood runs deep
to gather and fill

My holding shell
where I keep you, safe and still
Inspired by my nightmares, the movie Ghost in the shell and the song "E.S.T." by White lies.
535 · Jul 2018
Her
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
Her
When I met her
I was in a dark place
She made me feel better
alone with her I felt safe

When I met her
I fell in love easily
Me and her alone
protecting me in isolation furiously

Her's was the fear
but I knew why I had to be scared
the danger was clear
I wasn't meant to be shared

But hidden in front of everyone's eyes
better still behind closed doors
safe and sound and internally screaming
my lively body lying dead on barren floors

When I met her
to love her felt so right
easier yet but to walk amongst strangers
simpler yet to swallow all forsaken pride

Since I realized that I loved her wrong
that I only grew fond of her protection
I started taking her out on walks
I've written her a heartfelt song

"I love you dear,
you are my fearful guardian
and I thank you for reminding me
to keep an open eye, to always look for the hidden scorpion
Let me find comfort in you
when I know being terrified
makes less a fool out of me
but only a soul less traveled, barely petrified.

In my way of loving,
let me find my kind of freedom
I don't need you solving

Anxiety. "
Totally freestyled this. Might change it later. Let me know what you think.
519 · Jul 2018
Early morning text message
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
...
So, how's it going?
Did you end up in those arms you kept talking about?
Did she see you on the airport all jet-lagged,
all baffled, standing in the passenger area, jam-packed.
...
So, you didn't know?
She was lying on the runway, waiting for you.
Her heart pre-packed,
ready to get hijacked.
...
The differences between you and her,
7 hours to **** the time,
5092 miles away, still committed a crime.
...
June 3rd marks the day,
on which the newspaper says nothing,
cause nothing ever happened, you just went away.
...
So, what about your dreams?
She kept them for you, tucked away in a suitcase,
ready to run off with you in plain sight,
but your plane never reached this side.
...
You never even took off to be exact,
guess your bag wasn't intact,
and matter of fact,
I think honest will is what it lacked.
...
So, whatever, right?
It's not like,
it's all pointless anyway.
That's what you'd say.
...
Doesn't matter that it meant a whole lot,
she might spend 7 hours more to untangle the knot,
and has to walk 5092 miles to get back the full heart she got,
before she met a stranger who spoke of her arms,
and made her built an airport inside of her palms.
...

So, how's it going?...
519 · Sep 2018
Playing in the dirt
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
A naked tree in winter
my bones are always bare
I reach inside this
tree crown ribcage
pull my insides out
and press them on this page
I make a lovely composition
of red and superstition
I don't care
about how ***** it gets
I dare
you
Let me share
with you
You can do no wrong
Watch me
as I pretend it's been you
who touched these pages
all along
495 · Sep 2018
In my nature
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I sharpen my knife,
I stab my own heart
to see if what comes out
is yours or mine

My chest's a hive
bees feast, my flesh to part
the buzzing, a silence so loud
from my blood they make honey wine

I spill it
I speak in tongues
rest upon my honey womb
my nature's a slave to all that you do

In my palms and shapes you shall fit
breathe deeply through my lungs
let me sleep in the silence of your tomb
my nature's turning pure in you
Blade Maiden Jun 2018
I'm hurting lately
Is it just me?
I keep breathing barely
Is there a good excuse?

I'm quite tired these days
Should I get medication for that?
My nightmares are showing me new ways
What's the deal?

Cut. One small thought I had as well
Where did that come from all of a sudden?
In our bathroom is that certain smell
(I can't stand it)
Am I doing this right?

I think I left my confidence at home
Or is it hiding under the bed?
Guess we got separated, this girl is one, lone.
Or is she?

I made new friends in the meantime
Is Anxiety coming over?
We gonna have another slumber party, “I seem fine”
(That's going to be the theme)

Don't forget about Self-loathing,
the party doesn't really start without them, does it?
It's gonna be a sick time with a bunch of loafing,
Sounds pretty good, huh?

Might as well make this my invitation,
to my awesome sleepover
though there's an ongoing renovation
so please don't mind the noise.
Not sure what I did here. Just some random thoughts written down in the heat of the moment. Let me know what you think.
493 · Aug 2018
Winter came
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
The dream is wonderful
but empty
until filled up, til it's full
filled with the idea of you
Love is like an avalanche
what a beautiful word for a disaster
how willingly we work on our own sabotage
Aren't we just the most silly creatures?
Feeling for another, one of our most valued features
Feeling recklessly even if something breaks
never stopping no matter how high the stakes

Snow came for me eventually
covering me up completely
For I am loved momentarily
maybe
I am frozen in place
waiting for spring
to sip on sweet juices once again
to leave on your chest nothing but flowers
I wait and count the hours
til the avalanche comes for me and devours
all that is in me
479 · Oct 2018
The Long Dark
Blade Maiden Oct 2018

Do you remember
in the midst of December
over burnt down wood and ember
reminding you of distant warm memories
of a long gone September

Say, do you recall
the great and foreseen fall
the big curtain call
the end of it all

Did you feel cold
when the life you knew came to a halt
nothing made sense anymore
of what you've been told before

You thought of dying
by your own hands, no denying
til this new found will to live
now there was nothing left to forgive

Takes you back to the roots
proudly walking in those boots
Living off the land
bow in hand

Teaches you anew to be in awe
able to see the beauty of nature once more
shows you its forces and how it can make everything break
how it doesn't need your approval, how it can give and take

And you remember it now
as you saw yourself hanging of this bough
You asked for this
"give me a quiet apocalypse"
Inspired by a beautiful game called The Long Dark in which you wander a post apocalyptic world and live with and fight against nature. No zombies, no magic. Just you, nature and its forces. I always loved the idea of having to go back to the roots like this. An escape from today's disconnected life. Nature is but an echo. Take me back.
478 · Sep 2018
Ghost town
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I reached the hill
now there is silence
Thought I took the right pill
felt like hope wasn't a form of violence
But when I met myself at the highest bit
I didn't know what it meant
The hill was really a pit
a hell heaven sent
Feeling fragile
wearing nothing but torn dresses
as the devil became more agile
I dream of him as he trespasses

I reached the hill
it's silent
My own abandoned town
filled with ghosts and defilement
Burned my notes of obsession
cinder on my lashes
for a brief moment I see flames of possession
as dark eyes rain down ashes
The devil's got ahold of me
he brought flowers filled with poison
I grew a field of them, a flowery sea
silence came as I shut the noise in

I reached
My silent hill
poisonous oceans will hide
as I keep us still
the devil always in sight
478 · Sep 2018
Pride
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
Deprive me
I don't need sleep now
Make me
Tell me not to go slow
Forsake me
Let's put on a great show
Take me
in all the ways you know
Shake me
off this dreamless night

Let us kneel in front of each other
one after the other
sweet juices to follow
you need to abide
and let me swallow
your pride
475 · Sep 2018
All will be undone
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

And so I go
I bid you farewell
Don't forget
I love you so
this is all I know
all I can tell
For my own sake
I have to find out
not about
what's high
but what is low
so you will find me
way down in the well
under the lake

I know
You still feel the need
to carve your initials
into stones,
into the concrete
All I want is
to leave mine
on your lively skin
along your spine
Don't think
stone would care
for we are nothing but
cycling trivialities
stone won't know
what we'd dare
stone doesn't have
an interest
in our qualities

I know
Now I take
my leave of you
you, the idea
me, something that
wants to be true
But let me promise
you and me
we'll meet
for the first time
before the tide will reach
the last tree
Because then
all books
will be gone
no one there
to sing us
a sad song
And all these words
will be of no avail
and nothing
that now hurts
will prevail

Everything is
inevitably
designed to
disintegrate
the whole of
earths array
linked until the end
inseparably
and all of us
will have to trade
place by place
memory by memory
until we all fade

So I'll hold you
then
just like I now
hold this pen
steady and assured
together
washed upon human life's
last shore
when all's undone
that once was made
I will hold you
and think
what a comfort
this beautiful fate
470 · Aug 2018
Short & sour
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
You crave interaction
Not just a mere distraction
Lonely from the bottom
of your soul that is rotten
You are adored by a person
you love this version
Then it all goes wrong
And you crave another one
who's not there
you look but don't know where
Lonely from the bottom
of my soul that is rotten
How to keep a heart
How to be a part
of a me & you
and who?
470 · Jul 2018
I might be rooting for you
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
I am               Tired
                         dreaming

I heard             Silent
                            screaming

I saw                Something
                            gleaming

I am                 Self
                            redeeming

It seems           Quite
                            revealing

My insides       Somewhere
                            healing

Maybe              Even
                            believing

                                                          In you.
468 · Sep 2018
I wish to be in your dreams
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

You're trying to see
what it is she makes of thee
Flesh always burning
Bones always shaking
Head's always turning
to see many eyes waking

This bee hive heart is beating
dripping with golden excitement
watch wings stripping, flight of perceiving
she's reckless with incitement
Brain's buzzing
from all the lusting

What have you done
Lord of crimson?
Where do you want her to put all these dreams?
She's near, her slender feet walk on
Her newly sharpened tongue knows of no fears

Neither young nor old
either shy or bold
of this golden crowned goddess you shall behold
in your dreams she eats you whole,
that's what's been told
465 · Aug 2018
The lantern
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
Maybe I can't tell
right from wrong
life from death
heaviness from emptiness
love from a lie
or your arms from mine

Still I'm sure to see
light inside something dark
matter inside the nothingness
heart inside an empty chest
care from broken hands

And when you say
the void is you
I shake my head
but follow through

Let me tell you what I see
A blackness that is dear to me
And even if you can't help but mind
my trust and care leaving your dark parts behind

I might as well be
A lantern, you see
And when the light catches you
We'll both follow through
One thing I can truthfully tell
it was never just darkness from the moment I fell

for you
Blade Maiden Aug 2018
I'm a hopeless dreamer
A full-blown love-believer
An apologetic oversharer
Might as well give you my preprinted waiver

But I don't need anything
from this funny little human thing
you call a heart and stand tall
Non-believers can't get through my make-believe wall

And you're the biggest one of them all
Push and pull, careful, you might be the one to fall
Never heard of "we reap what we sow"?
Your love was only a glancing blow.
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I know some things about dirt
I shed my feathers many times just like a bird

Daring
Always daring
never preparing
for the fall
I fly
bold with a certain confidence
but so very shy
hold a truth to obedience
when the voice tells me to abide
holding evidence of bloodlust at night

Maybe not a bird then
but a bat when
feeling a strong hunger
for your crimson liquor
in the dark I reach out to my monger
won't you be my cherry picker
I'll draw the night out and make the darkness stay longer
I'll bite you and make your blood run thicker

Yes
See me still hiding a diffidence
under this bold confidence
But I'm not about pretense
bird and bat, all the same
I feel so very tense
as it seems either I can tame
Though I don't need defense
and as you will see, I got no shame
Blade Maiden Jun 2018
I realize that
survival isn't
blowing out all my candles
so someone else can be my light
Blade Maiden Jul 2018
And he will think of me,
actually
maybe he won't

I want him to
eventually
possibly
I don't

I really shouldn't
probably
needless to say

Get out of my mind
I want you to stay
fearlessly

I'm so tired
terribly
uselessly

I should get some rest
finally
really

Tomorrow will hold more
hopefully
surely
Constantly trying can be very tiring sometimes. I hope you all have a good night. Tomorrow is going to be easier. Probably.
454 · Sep 2018
Dragonflight
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I shut my eyes
to a world of fire
I drink and I roll the dice
I say make me forget that I feel dire

Come and be close
push against my spine
let my willingness arose
let my vines intwine
your wholesomeness, my overdose
let's become the fine line

Between ecstasy
and that
which is not meant to be
I fed
on you like on a juicy dragon fruit
Reach into what the wild one brings
our senses sharp and acute
I spread my wings

Turn each other into creatures of the flame
my hands how they claw at your skin
don't hesitate, there's nothing to tame
and nothing this true could ever be a sin
Blade Maiden Sep 2018
I'm guilty
I'm always guilty
it bugs me, won't leave me alone
"you're filthy, empty
only filled with things you collected
over there, in anothers life
you're all things neglected
hell, you're not worth the dive"

Shut up! Just be quiet.
Only once. Give me some bliss.
I am the one who decided
I'm fine with how it is.
Why can't you be my ally instead?
What is driving you so mad?

Yes, I feel pathetic.
Are you happy now?
Won't we make this sound more poetic?
The least we can do is put on a show.
Is this all I can do?
Always fighting this stupid me and you

I'm happy, can't you see?
My eyes cry out to make you believe.
I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy,
why don't you let me be?
A little bit futile,
in the eyes of my own judge
Quite a bit volatile,
and how it still all feels like a little bit too much

I know what I'm supposed to do
I know no stranger should feel like hope
I know I alone need to come through
I know there's no red rope
nothing that ties my floating pieces together
scattered for far too long,
underneath a bright and broken moon, forever
singing some beautiful and lonely song

Realization,
I recognize.
Acceptance,
I understand.
But I can't be changed.
I won't ever be changed.
Always feel estranged,
countless thoughts deranged
in the picture you see, so beautifully arranged.
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