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Gnat Apr 9
Alive.
What's
the point
in knives?
A tool.
What's
the deal
with deals?

If I
never
get caught in
one more
crossfire
conversation
about
only
the mundanities
I would
lose my
edge, but wouldn't it be nice?

If I
never
get trapped in
gossip
circles
again, though,
I
would be
happy.
gravygod Dec 2018
i'm not sure what to do with all the distance
it's been months that have felt like years
i can remember when you came into my life in the winter
and I can remember when you left in the summer
arrival and departure
the distinct difference between the two
i'm only at the thin line of division
the way my emotions don't add up
like miscalculated algebra
all to your advantage
i kept your love letter
the letter where you plagiarized a novel
because i wasn't good enough for your own words
that was my only closure
i wanted desperately to burn the stuffed bears from the carnival
i could only part with one
when i hold it close to me
i feel like how a child would
expecting prizes only in fabric and cotton stuffing
not words of affirmation or love
i almost drove by your house
but i knew i would only go mad thinking
of who has been touching your new furniture that i helped pick out
leaving their fingerprints in place of mine
i miss my t-shirts that you still have
i hope when and if you wear them
you can feel me close
my heart beating where yours is
sometimes i feel like i miss you enough for you to show up
as if my pain could teleport
the craving of a complete closure
one where i don't need liquor or a lighter
others bring up your name
as if i'm not in the process of misplacing the letters
or dismissing the syllables
i've been trying to forget your face
your face of sharp bones
flaring nostrils
and nostalgic lips

i've been trying to imagine if that night would have never happened
when that veteran couldn't take himself anymore
he chose you to be his last interaction
it was all in hints
he was screaming for help without making a sound
how were we supposed to know
i still wonder where that blue jay is that he buried behind the building
i just couldn't bare to see it
now i wish i made a map
X marks the spot where our love died
i remember when you had to bury your own blue jay
you never saw it coming
you took the wrong step and it was under your foot
just like he said his bluejay was
fidgeting and fighting for life
i'd like to think it was a sign from him
to let you know it's possible to move on and forward
so you did
you moved on to scabbed skin and worn-out lungs
i moved on to scholarly headaches and false pretenses
back then i could never fathom my days without you
now i find it difficult to recall how we were
it feels like our romance was a dream
because it only felt real when i was asleep
Vish Dec 2018
You shouldn’t have come if leaving was all you had in mind
pistachio Dec 2018
As a leaf departs from a twig which dears her true
And which on his care and ardor adamant
So acquiescent and frail you depart too
With the swift wind you became compliant
Then, ceiling became my kind of sky
But bare and dull contrast to that azure canopy placed high
Bed is now my kind of meadow green and dazzling
But damp not of dew but of my tears overflowing
My breath turned into a summer zephyr
Warm and gentle, repose to my fear
My tears grew into an ocean abysmal
Immeasurable with ripples cataclysmal.
You gave me this kind of dwelling after you left. But I guess you didn't know.
pistachio Dec 2018
Ground's bare but we two filled it
With footprints chasing each other heartily
But those were superseded past a minute
With footmarks of separating ways painfully.
Our footprints show the blissful start and sorrowful end of our love.
mj Dec 2018
i was lying on the beach
at 3am
cold and completely alone
starring up at the moon
listening to the waves crash against the shore.
while holding the phone against my ear
listening to your recordings you left on my phone
telling me to call you back
that you would be home soon
and that you loved me so much
not even a thousand page book
could describe the love you have for me
now that i can not hear your voice in person anymore
i'm left to listen to the voicemails you left me
imagining you there
holding me in your arms
wishing
hoping you come back
even though it's impossible
J R Cramer Nov 2018
She observed herself
Standing fast in clouds of steam
This felt so unreal.

Remote perspective
Would make survivable the
Dreaded encounter.

The necessities:
Tickets, porter, clock,
Time creeping along.

Maintained a distance
And staunch objectivity
‘Til the last moment.

Final words spoken,
All defenses splintering
She paused, one last look.

One last chance to stay,
Vanquished, punished, forbidden
The wide world’s  pageant.
.
Point of inflexion.
The tug of the familiar
The pull of the known

Would invert the arc,
Intended trajectory,
Retrogressively.

And then, there it was:
Unctuous, demeaning smile,
Withering and cruel.

Pierced by well-honed fleer,
She reflexively shuddered
Like fly-stung horseflesh.

Ears roaring; face flushed
She felt foolish, faint-hearted,
humiliated.

One breath, and one more,
Forcing herself to stare down
Scorn and ridicule.

Then chin uplifted
And breath becalmed, she nodded
And scant smiled Adieu.

Thus the poetess
Righted her millinery,
Spun on her bootheel,

Snapped her parasol,
gave her bustle a barely
Perceptible shake,

And with solemn mien,
But mirthful eyes, she set forth
For better morrow.
Brandon Conway Oct 2018
Soaring over the idyllic fields of poet's day dreams
an opening exposes some endless blue
the sun cast's his golden rod
and waits while humming his bright tune

Suddenly submerged
for his bait we had chewed
turbulence drops yellow bags
and white fog blinds our view

The sun is toying with us
letting the line out farther and farther
the old sun and the sky
a departure within a departure

Finally the sun pulls the line
screaming, we steady then ascend
are we going higher now?
better make amends
                                 via amens

Look all the fog is gone
this isn't the suns pole
the light is fleeing and
this cabinet grows so cold

The air thins into non existence
yet somehow we can breath
in these celestial waters
watch as the earth takes her leave

Reeling faster now
how these stars pass by
what's beyond the celestial sphere
this fisherman sure is spry

Finally a golden gleam approaches
splash through the pearly gates
into the net of heaven
pietistic fingers embrace

An omniscient voice speaks
NOT AGAIN, ANOTHER USELESS CAN?
and he tossed this metal heap away
who do I eat and who do I romance

It's going to be a long journey home.
Blade Maiden Oct 2018
The ocean calls for my departure
don't mourn these waves
I was destined to return just like King Arthur

Scribbled words on our skin
invisible ink tells of prophecies
and all the lives that have not been

Pulled the sword from the stone
Naive to think that we'd be crowned
but rather released an angry storm

These stories speak of hate and resentment
it flows much more effortlessly
so much pain in trying to be sentient

Still I will not give in to bitterness
I wait for the storm to pass
to return to sea and drown in bliss
Blade Maiden Sep 2018

And so I go
I bid you farewell
Don't forget
I love you so
this is all I know
all I can tell
For my own sake
I have to find out
not about
what's high
but what is low
so you will find me
way down in the well
under the lake

I know
You still feel the need
to carve your initials
into stones,
into the concrete
All I want is
to leave mine
on your lively skin
along your spine
Don't think
stone would care
for we are nothing but
cycling trivialities
stone won't know
what we'd dare
stone doesn't have
an interest
in our qualities

I know
Now I take
my leave of you
you, the idea
me, something that
wants to be true
But let me promise
you and me
we'll meet
for the first time
before the tide will reach
the last tree
Because then
all books
will be gone
no one there
to sing us
a sad song
And all these words
will be of no avail
and nothing
that now hurts
will prevail

Everything is
inevitably
designed to
disintegrate
the whole of
earths array
linked until the end
inseparably
and all of us
will have to trade
place by place
memory by memory
until we all fade

So I'll hold you
then
just like I now
hold this pen
steady and assured
together
washed upon human life's
last shore
when all's undone
that once was made
I will hold you
and think
what a comfort
this beautiful fate
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