sometimes I find it hard to talk to you so I make lists in my sleep, of something I could say. but still I come up empty. what is it about you? I can’t live with you or without you. every single day, I sit in my anxiety. trying to find a way to say anything. won’t you remember that I’m your baby? and if you give a ****, won’t you not leave me? you’re the one I’ll always choose, please be mine and don’t waste my time. love me for who I’m meant to be, so won’t you please give me something? because sometimes it’s hard for me to talk to you.
Sting of morning coffee bliss with the obligatory first cig of the day, It’s all downhill from here. Does normal thingsGoes to lecture Lunchtime sugar low. Self-destructive tendencies itching, Beer kick - gets drunk. Being constructive is crushing. Goes to lecure Mind numbing normality Home. Fearful of loneliness and needy, go waste some hours. Its late. Restless. Stoop on the street, with friends. Anxious, ill. Wasted night. Collapse into a shallow sleep of self-loathing. Zombied. Repeated offence.
An acurate describition of my daily university life. Evident is my dependency on drugs and my fear of being alone. Both loneliness and 'mind-numbing normality' are perceived as a threat. The title comes from the french word for daily life to accentuate the repetition and spiraling.
Book pages Crumpled and bent Pages folded, from being lent Anything to pass the time To keep you off my mind Whenever i see you My jaw drops My heart stops But us together Never. That's my happily never after...