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c May 2020
The way you didn’t kiss me
at the top of the Ferris Wheel.

The way you kissed me
at the bottom of my sense of self.

The way I had your fingerprints on my thighs for 2 weeks after you left me.

The way I want you
to leave me wanting again.
For R
c Oct 2018
I spent last night
Crunching numbers

10
Times you led me on

9
Nights we stayed up talking

8
Weeks since you decided I wasn’t worth it

7
Crushed up poems on the floor of my room

6
Outfits thrown aside to make sure I look my best

5
Days I spent trying to get over you

4
Friends that know what we did

3
3 a.m FaceTime calls

2
Coats of mascara

1
Big regret
c Apr 2019
I am not alone
My father stands beside me with a shield
His army stands behind

This is how it has been
This
Is how it shall be

I am not fearless
But I have none to fear

My father pursues those
Who come
In pursuit of me

So I will not fear
For who can stand
Against the Almighty?
c Jun 2019
Jumping into puddles
And jumping into love
Both leave me so muddled
And I just can’t get enough

But mud belongs in puddles
And flower petals fall
This “he loves me, he loves me not”
Will surely end it all
c May 2019
1.  I lie when I say I Love You

1b. Maybe it’s because I’m a compulsive liar or maybe it’s because I add a big DON’T in the middle, but either way, I lied

2. you are a dying star folding in on itself and I cannot support the cold dead core you're going to leave behind

3. your tongue tastes like espresso and caffeine makes my heart beat way too fast

4. you say "maybe" too much and act like its a promise waiting to be broken

5. I am SO GOOD at loosing sleep! Over you! Because of you!

6. you have never cried in front of me

7. you have really good music taste and I don't want my favorite playlist to ruin me when you leave

8. I once read that indecision is the present form of regret. you can't make up your mind and I'm starting to think that's a sign

9. you drink to get drunk and I drink what tastes good. now my throat is burning and I’m not sure if it’s from the words stuck inside it or the whiskey in your kiss.

10.
c Jul 2019
I’ve always been one to enjoy the burn
But this
This is a new level
Of salt in the wound

You are cold to the touch
Leaving blisters
Where you grab my wrist
And pin me down

The longer you stay
The longer I scream
Until the pain is numb
And I do not feel enough
To need you to leave

You burn me anyway
c Jan 2019
The tingle of magic
In your fingertips
As your palm flexes
Above the keys

This is your papyrus,
You modern-day scribe

Feel the flow of electricity
Beneath your hands
And release the magic
That lies within
c May 2018
Maybe snow cones
And pickup lines
Aren’t meant to go
Hand in hand,
But I needed a map
Because I was lost in your eyes.

You gave me a snow cone
I gave you my number
And maybe
That’s not a good trade
But you thought
Maybe
It was worth it
At least for one night.

You’re just a football-playing
Baseball boy
And maybe
There was a spark
And maybe
You liked the taste of grape
That lingered on my lips
And maybe
You’re still going
To text me back.

But maybe
Is no assurance
To a girl
In love with love
And boys who make
Snow cones.
-c.
c Mar 2019
My parents thought
I was sick
But I’m just choking
On my words
I’m sick of him
c Jul 2018
I always wondered
If something I never had
Could hurt me

But then I held my breath
And my lungs screamed for the air
They didn’t have
c Apr 2019
Tonight I burn with a reckless abandon
Both ends in embers
I am choking on my smoke
I’m sorry I’m blunt
I’m sorry I’m numb
I’m sorry I run away
From everything trying to help me
I cannot share my sadness with you.
c Oct 2018
When I left
I told myself
I was fine
With being me

But I’m bleeding poetry again,
So am I really myself at all?
c Aug 2019
It’s kinda crazy
How you talk like maple syrup
And think like a long winter
Your words bite
Like stinging sleet

I find cuddling by the fire
With a cup of coco
And blankets piled high
So soothing

But shouldn’t I be worried
About the storm raging outside?
c Apr 2019
if I've fought back
(biting my tongue and tasting blood)
with hands bound
and tongue tied
imagine
what I could do
with only one hand
behind my back.
c Mar 2019
Sometimes it takes
Hearing your breath
Go
         in
And
                  o u t
To know that you’ll be okay
c Sep 2017
My garden was always
More lethal than pretty.
Thorns, not roses
Berries too deadly to eat.
Surrounding me.
Surrounding my house,
And heart.
Letting in none.
My own blockade.

Then you came.
You plowed through
The tall thorns, throwing
kisses and sweet words.
You planted beds of tulips
Where thorns had once been.
The berries?
They've rotted,
The sweet lullabies and promises
Too much to handle.
In their place grows wildflowers,
A meadow, calling my name.

My garden was then,
More pretty than lethal.
Where thorns had thrived,
Blooms took over.
Where stone once sat,
Trees had grown.
A garden.
Filled, yet empty.
No longer my own
Blockade.

But weeds
Silently take over the flowers.
Lies drown the wildflower meadow,
which once grew freely in my heart.
A blockade begins, thorns thriving once again.
And then you leave.

My garden was always
More lethal than pretty.
Thorns, not roses
Berries too deadly to eat.
Surrounding me.
Surrounding my house,
And heart.
Letting in only you.

Now my blockade
Of thorns without roses,
Waits.
Waits to be
More pretty than lethal.
••• ••• ••• •••
-T.C., Broken Blooms
c Nov 2018
I was always fearful
Of flying too close to the sun
For I saw how it had hurt others
Who flew near it

But then I laughed.

For why should I
Fear myself?
c Nov 2018
Mom says
I should call it what it is.
A scarf, cologne,
A movie ticket.
But instead
I boxed up our first date.
And burned it.
c Sep 2019
You call me pretty like it’s nothing
Good-looking when you don’t mean it
Honey on the fly trap
Keeping me sugar sweet stuck
c Apr 2019
I only called myself a writer
After I tasted the idea
Of champagne
On your lips
c Mar 2019
I can't help but feel
like I'm wasting time
with every breath

I can't help but wonder
if time will stop
when I do
am I as forgettable as I feel?
c Jan 2019
I’m laughing
A gossamer mood
With silver threads
Sparkling in the light

You tell me
My eyes are like
Broken sapphires
But I’ve never
Seen emeralds
That compare to yours
c Feb 2019
When I was in seventh grade
Society told me
That curves can be beautiful
And I thought the idea of that
Was beautiful
Until I saw mine.

It was never
That I didn’t find beauty
In others bodies,
It was that I couldn’t
Find beauty
In what I saw
In the mirror

And I know that
Sometimes
It’s more of a -me- problem
Than a society problem,
But sometimes
When -curvy woman-
Means hips like rosebuds
And waist like fine china,
I get a little scared
Of myself.
All body types are beautiful, be you, be happy, be healthy, and don’t let someone else’s idea of beauty stop you from doing the things you set your mind to.
c Jan 2019
My father
Has been a Man
All his life
And I capitalize Man
Because his terms
Of masculinity
Include being
The Man

He doesn’t like the word
“No”
Unless it’s in his voice
And under his control

Control is his ego
I think
He likes a grip on everything
So tight it chokes us
And he wonders why
I’m slipping away
c Oct 2018
I’ve cried a river
I’m building a bridge
But I can’t get over
How you said “just friends”
We both know that friends
Don’t feel like we do
But I’m used to nothing
Because nothing is new.
unrequited love is the worst hurt of all
c May 2019
Does riding home
Without a seatbelt
(Left unbuckled on purpose)
Count as a suicide attempt?

Asking for a friend
Who lost control of the wheel
c Jun 2019
I am addicted to deja vu
In the form of
Sunsets
And goodbyes
And thinking I’ve found love

And hey, you seem so familiar.
Have I seen you somewhere before?
c Nov 2018
It’s attention that she craves
Aching lonely in the eyes she wipes tears from
Hands that forgot what it’s like
To be held
Lips that haven’t had the chance
To taste desire
c Sep 2019
I’ve missed you in so many ways
The minutes and miles between us
Grow my heart ever fonder
And it scares me
Because I’m never sure
That you feel the same
c Sep 2018
I’m crying again
But not like before

The highway lines are blurred
Yet I feel better than ever

There’s a way of letting go
And giving it all
To the one who loves you
For all your impurities
That makes you feel
Like singing
In the car
With tears
On your cheeks
c Aug 2019
I think my tragic flaw
Is reading the warning label
On every person
And pulling a Romeo
On each boy
marked “Toxic”
c Apr 2019
I am tired
I’d being the drain
For everyone’s emotions
But my own
c Apr 2019
Tell me
What’s your endgame plan?
You snap your fingers
And I melt in your hand
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
I wish I
Could rescue us
Avengers Endgame was so good!
c Nov 2018
You see,
It’s taken me
Half of my life
To get good at smiling
When it’s the last
Thing I feel
Like doing.
c Oct 2018
I’m watching
My happiness
c
   r
     u
       m
          b
             l
               e

and

F
A
L
L

a  p  a  r  t

In front of me.
I am so tired
Fit
c Mar 2019
Fit
Your fitted sheet
Never stayed on
Your bed.
I guess
You didn’t like
When things fit.
c Jan 2019
fools who run their mouths
do no worse damage
than the wise
who say nothing at all
c Mar 2019
I saw you watching me
From across the room
So I took a deep breath
And smiled at someone new
c Jan 2019
You are not my ghost

I will not let you haunt
Your place in my soul
As if a shadow
Upon where I choose to tread

You cannot cling
To someone else’s voice
Or a color
I found
In a strangers eyes

It is not your place
To make me remember
Everything I can’t forget
c Apr 2019
We never broke up
We just sort of broke down
I was wearing my shame
Instead of my crown
You spat out the ashes
That tasted like flame
And it hurt cause it burnt
When you said my name
Now there’s time for regret
And moments for tears
The mistakes I made
Will stay with me for years
But you’re nothing royal
No knight sent for me
You’re more like a dragon
You like when I bleed
And though I’m no princess
I’ll keep my head high
Inside I slay dragons
And you’re just a guy.
c Jan 2019
Gravity
Is weighing
So much heavier
Than I remember it
But I still
Only blame
Myself
c Jan 2019
We aren’t an album
We’re the single
That played on the radio
Until everyone hated it
Including us.
c Apr 2019
Growing up
Is nothing
Like they said
It would be

How cruel of them
To waste
My Time
c Feb 2019
Humor me with your insults
By now I’ve heard this stand up comedy routine so many times
I could do it sitting down
Laughter is the best medicine but I am overdosing
This substance in a prescription bottle with your name on it
It makes me toss my head back with the pills
And I laugh and I laugh
c Oct 2019
I’m not afraid of ghosts
But I don’t like the way things linger
Like laughter
Or cologne
Or the feel of your skin on mine
c Sep 2019
I am riding in the backseat of Desire
Lust rides shotgun, mocking me
It would be nice to see you
Growing distant in the rear view mirror
But the headlights coming towards us
Are just a bit too bright
I’m tired of asphalt burns
c Mar 2019
As History falls
Onto his blood strewn path
He meets a Fork In The Road
Between Take
And Be Taken
So instead
He jumps into the Rabbit Hole
To stop Time
And repeat himself
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