we’re tongue tied,
it’s heavy, so heavy
that it’s driving me mad.
it gets heavy when you turn off the lights.
your wicked ways intimately
hold me and i’m feeling
dizzy and addicted.
it’s mental how beautiful you are
and insane how i’m feeling
you all over me and inside me.
he’s so heavy,
his love is so heavy,
his weight hits me so fast.
Can I suitably convey
The dew of the morning
Or his saccharine cigarette breath?
How delicate, how complex
This blackened menthol mastery
That has the dominion to stop me in my tracks
Ive come upon this chasm
Never leaving exhausted
Despite having crossed double, the gorges and highlands which create
Only a fraction of the incarnation
That is your heavenly body.
I'm lingering too close to refuse you even once more
Suspended forever in the ropes of your splendor
Inhibit my limbs, so I may not wander again.
A stable young man with a stable normal family life.
They eat together every morning, afternoon, and night.
He’s the song in my head that I’ve always needed: stability.
at my new location,
hit me up.
don’t let my tears drop by you,
sounding hot in this studio,
with voices echoing and singing
i’m anxious for this to work,
i’m anxious if this’ll work.
yet, it’s been a warm minute
since i’ve seen someone so stable
and had stability in my life
i haven’t felt normalcy
in a cold minute.
the more you see,
the more you will know
the push i need from you
to take my medicine and to
feel on beat.
my tears are now falling over
your pretty head like
oil on my hands;
your eyes are blue like the
creek near my home.
dream about me tonight
for i am your angel
and i will watch you
and guard you from the scary monsters
and unkind things that travel with us.
i don’t want to speed in your two seater
and i hope you don’t have to slow,
have to slow it down.
i’m scared i can’t.
The soft hands
Fingered. Snorted. Kissed.
The mouldy bread on the floor of her car
And let me know when you are back.
I wanted to go outside but
You should’ve come.
Put it in the other room so I can’t see
“I think it should be there”
I know and I don’t.
Just a dress rehearsal
With his voice - not the body.
Just another rehearsal with him
The Math of Time.
It’s a blue-ish, purple-ish thing.
I hate today
And I don’t.
When most people
think of trains,
see the colors
of the painted
cars on their sides—
on the rusty,
I don't think
I could walk so
slowly, but I'd
run to it
like Icarus and
until the cars
were colored red.
What strange graffiti.
But, these thoughts
I was never good
The only running
I can do is
in my mind,
an Olympic race
and a puzzle:
you're texting me
while taking acid,
and you're the one
who asked how
I was doing.
I asked you what
and I'm about to
read the message,
but I'm kind
of scared to see.
and you might
but you've always
The quiet teeth
Your thigh-high pretend
And make up okay
Rooms and cars
Driveways and homes
Highways and phones
"You've never gone this fast"
You and your undressed sigh.
Goodbyes are said while the windows are down
Wind your helmets down
And don't feel bad -
I gave them to you for You
"I'm not coming to you for brakes"
Speed is safe -
When it's sharp and wet.
Your bare feet trust
We have only ever been going in circles.
"Why are you here then?"
I can't sleep.
for so long
i pushed the last morsels of my wounded heart
on my tasteless mouth to chew like a toy.
resignation helped cease the grief
outside the seams of my racked enough brain,
you rummaged through strings and dreams
trying to reach out to me, violently.
of course i kept fretting on the costs of your unwitting love
soon, illness and fatigue crept within me
my heart, careless of iniquities,
had finally embraced its meekly destiny
stored as a dusty shelf memory
but i, tottering on the brink of the grave
stood still, loving you
curiosity was born from isolation,
questioning myself why you keep running
but i cannot scape you;
perhaps the budding silence that exists
between the comely swears of my adoration
and the elated memory of who you once were
keeps my feebly soul attached to mortal expectations,
even when, quite frankly, we both know
the untold truths hidden within this fondness,
but still i hope i'm not as forgettable
as your silence is making me feel.
i hope to forgive myself one day,
when the sea strands collide with the vastness
of the chaotic ocean, to lay calmly,
safely, into the arms of whoever's devotion
they may fall.
for i pray this sadness to cease
but oh, who i am without this pain, my love.
certain i am for i am not yours,
neither am i the only one,
and i do not wish to step away
but neither do i know how to stay.
The cat flap.
The taste of tongue.
“I want you to see me drunk”
Her favourite colour was yellow.
You sound like rain.
I can tell when you are looking at me.
The bird mouth.
Advertise me: I pretend to pretend.
I don't dream.
On a scale of 0 to now -
“Where are you?”
I'll hold you.
The sound of rain does not feel cold.
A fire extinguisher under water.
Probably, nobody does.
“I hope so”
No, you're not.
Blankets and he is asleep.
I forgot what you wanted me to know.
Where they hide the grizzly bears.
As close as I can get.
I would understand you better.
I know, I wouldn't be here if I liked it