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دema 4d
I hope that when you make a list of all of your favourite things, I’m somewhere on it.
a trace of me (will be)
moving on
powerless  ( against)
the rising tide
pouring over me (as I am)
washed out ( where )
nothing is nothing ( and )
totally incomplete (is)
the inevitable outcome
that led me .....
right from the start
in futile search (I am )
gone without notice
facing a future ( of )
expanded consciousness
even in the garden of inspiration
dark days
color my  world
Chemicals (keep)
burning bridges
been here before
beyond the boundaries
beyond a dream
standing at the edge of tomorrow
( wondering )
Do I even exist ? (is)
my collection of rejections
my alpha and my omega (has)
the restless rider (been)
rising above
spinning a timeless tale (along)
the fine line
echoes of my silent world (across) 
the valley of infinity (so)
whats the difference
where do I fit in ?
I am but flesh and bone
hoping I never find me
every way I can
drawn in - dragged out (now)
Dialing back in  (to what is)
A Different world today
Aa couple dozen poems from my list to become ( maybe) a self published collection
Mitzi Ambrad May 18
I kept a list of things that you dread and like
Colored the first black, the other white.

Back then, I only know one to cite
Now, it has a ninety-nine items in plain sight.

Wrote the 100th note after the talk yesterday
My name is finally on it but the color is gray.
After our confrontation, it turned out I am neither.
monique ezeh May 8
age 7:
i remember being 6 and desperate to be 7— my sister had a book to gift me for the occasion, and i was positively vibrating with the anticipation of it becoming mine. 7’s always been my lucky number. the date of my birth, the days in the week, the start of my phone number. and so, 7 came and went, and suddenly i was 8.

age 8:
i moved to georgia. it didn’t hurt nearly as much as i’d expected, as much as i’d hoped. I’d wanted to feel pain in the real way, to wail and sob like a DCOM protagonist, to shut myself in my room until my mother stood the doorway to talk me down. pain makes feelings matter; who am i, if i’ve never suffered? but instead, i was fine. i said goodbye to my friends, packed my bags, and left. i haven’t spoken to any of them since.

age 10:
i finally hit the double digits. i was in fourth grade. coincidentally, it was also the first time in my life that a crush had liked me back. i felt like a real woman. i remember straightening my hair and wearing my favorite pink outfit to school, a matching shirt and skirt, box of cupcakes for the class clutched in hand. they sang happy birthday and i somehow forgot what sadness was.

age 11:
the first time i cried on a birthday.

ages 13-15:
more tears.

age 16:
sweet sixteen! this was it! i planned a party, heart thumping in my chest wondering if anyone would come. i didn’t cry on my birthday, but i cried the morning of the party. i wonder if that still counts. when the blurred vision of my tears cleared, i saw the puzzle pieces of my life falling into place. i remember thinking: “i’m finally who i’m meant to be.” (spoiler: i was wrong)

age 18:
an adult. i cried (again), but who doesn’t? i celebrated with my family, counting down the days between then and graduation. 18. one of my favorite one direction songs; it dawned on me that i only had a year left to fall in love so i could play it at my wedding. 18. it dawned on me that my youth was slipping away. in a year, i’d be celebrating my birthday in a city miles and miles away, distanced from my family for the first time in my life. (spoiler: i was wrong about that, too) 18. it feels so scary, getting old.

age 19:
today. i haven’t cried yet. i wonder if i will. i wonder a lot, these days. this day is not how i imagined it; this year is not either. i think i am okay with that, though. expectations, in my life, have often led to disappointment. 19 19 19. i missed my window with the 1D song, but i think i’m okay with that, too. 19 19 19. i repeat the word until it loses all meaning. 19 19 19. i begin to wonder if it ever had any. 19 19 19. life is an incomprehensible amalgamation of numbers words moments symbols ideas. 19 19 19. none of them mean anything. 19 19 19. or perhaps all of them mean everything? 19 19 19. today, i am 19. it means nothing. it means everything.
19 19 19.
i close my eyes and make a wish.
happy birthday to me.
Gorba Apr 19
I cannot stand if you want me to sit because it stresses you
I cannot be frustrated because you will be frustrated too
I cannot say that a movie is bad because that will ruin it for you
Does that mean I should not be honest with you?
I cannot be realistic about a situation because that’s being negative, according to you
I cannot slap your behind because obviously that’s just what old men do
I cannot have my face close to yours and contemplate it
Because it spurs an uncomfortable feeling, and you therefore don’t like it
I cannot ever have pants on, whenever I’m in bed, which I can understand
But that’s not a rule I ever had to sustain,
Which means that sometimes I only realize I made a mistake afterhand.
I came upon a reasonable solution, given the circumstances, but you still complain
You don’t want to try and play tennis because you don’t like it
But I have to pretend enjoying some quiz just because you’d appreciate it!
We each have our own towel, I’d be ****** if I used the wrong one, you know?
Wouldn’t it be more efficient to give me a comprehensive list of dos and don’ts that I would meticulously learn and follow?

I have to watch the movies you want to watch
Mine are too demanding
I have to listen to the music you want
What do I even listen to?
I should read the books that you like
Mine are not interesting.
I want to share what I’m passionate about
But restrain myself because I don’t want to force you, (I care about you)
I should wake up when you do
Get up and have breakfast when you decide to
You like to get out of bed at the very last minute and then I’m slow
When I come up with a plan, there is some place else you have to go
Do I actually exist in this relationship?
Do what I think, what I feel, and what I like actually matter to you?
Am I just a human-shaped hollow shell locked in a state of spectatorship?
Is it all, at the end, just about you?

I want to make you happy but not at my own expense
If nothing changes, we, as a couple, don’t stand a chance
I guess that sometimes feelings, while crucial, are not enough
When times are hard, we also need to be tough
I still want to try but will it be enough?

I have written this but I don’t know whether I should ever mention any of it
I wouldn’t want to ruin your day
The question then would be whether this would be a merit
Or just a stupid idea that would only be present in a bad screenplay.
This piece reflects the fact that it is dangerous to look at things from one's own perspective without considering the other side. In a relationship, because we are all humans, we make mistakes. For it to work, both people need to acknowledge them and figure out a way to manage them.
Amanda Apr 5
For things I'll never have in life
Fancy car
Designer Clothes
Neverending list
Never pay the price
Don't want them enough I suppose
I only desire the simple pleasures of life, not materialistic luxuries
Jonathan Moya Mar 31
One night when skies have donned their stars
         And parted the lunar drapes
Scattering silent bats to afar
         To huddle with their mates,
We’ll fix our eyes northward, my dear,
         To distant lush Spring realms
Where musicians play songs with cheer
         And nothing overwhelms.

And we shall travail lovely streets
        With restaurants and bakeries,
Serving all your favorite treats,
        And just your recipes.
Here we shall build a ***** manor
        With ovens to bake tarts,
Rooms I can pen my psalters,  
        Hearts sharing each’s art.
Pride before a fall
You  captured my heart
Those were the days I remembered
You took
You stole
My heart
And now your gone .
Forever .
Rest in peace
Colin .
maria Mar 9
cold water in a shower
hot chocolate getting cold
favourite clothes getting old
movies without the ending I want
ice cream falling in the floor
people having fun when I'm at my worst
and other silly things:)
written on March 09, 2020
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