Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
CIN Apr 26
There was a certain comfort in the time I spent
Sitting against a wall outside in the cold
They don’t tell you what its like to freeze to death
But here’s what wishing you would is like

The trees sway with another chilling breeze
There’s a little stinging pain in my toes
Its been about 20 minutes out here
My feet are the only things cold
I'm thinking
Way too much about how the frost feels
My hands become red
a little icy itch not quite numbing my fingers

Another 20 minutes go by and I can feel the cold travel
I have no intention of leaving
I don’t want to
Maybe i’ll stay all night

An hour in my feet are cold on the outsides
My ankle is freezing
I adjust my earbud and look up to the sky
My breath can be seen in the air
I think about my mother finding my body
Bitten blue with winter

2 hours in and my feet are starting to ache
Its an interesting feeling
Almost like I’ve broken a bone but can’t quite feel it
I don’t want to be here anymore
Not outside, id love to stay in the icy air all night
But here, in front of my so called home
Filled with my so-called family
I’d like to be staying somewhere else
Somewhere where they aren’t
Somewhere where the people who care about me
Are all far far away
And if I die, they know in a few days
Not right away
If I’m sick they’ll send a gift card
And call so many times I’ll have to turn off the phone

So maybe I’ll just sit here
And let nature have its way with me
Because I'm not ready to go back in
And live in a “family”
More about the night i overdosed. I'm falling back into this mindset and its drowning me.
You were a warm, weighted blanket,
You comforted me when I was alone.
You made me feel safe and well,
You quickly became my home.
Your embrace was warm and welcoming,
But soon became too hot.
I tried to kick you off of me,
I fought with all I’ve got.
Your hold was now too tight,
Sometimes I couldn’t breathe.
I swore I’d never touch you again,
But I’m truth, I couldn’t leave.
You were all I never wanted,
This thing, sewn to my bed,
But I couldn’t ask a soul for help,
So I clung to you instead.
People soon began to worry,
If I was doing alright.
I missed work, events, and meals,
Just to sleep with you at night.
I thought that I could manage you,
That I could pick and choose…
“An evening here, an evening there”
But it’s a game that I would lose.
One night you suffocated me,
Made me sleep for “one last time”.
But someone cut you off of me,
And brought me back to life.
I really thought I loved you,
But I should have known better.
I should have known you’d almost **** me…
I should have bought a sweater.
Goodbye ******. You’ll never have me again.
CIN Jan 26
I was outside in the cold for hours that day
thinking about how to end things
i passed your body
On my way upstairs
Before spreading out my saved pills
And unlocking a knife
Crimson spread along my thigh
And my stomach became upset
My water is now empty
And all that's left on the counter is dust
A little bit of red stains the blade
And i pull up my pants nonchalantly
My first attempt was done in my bathroom after being on suicide watch for months. If i want something i will find a way, and you wont see it coming.
Alicia Sep 2021
I lit a match
and let it burn
slowly down to
the tip
searing my fingers
just like you
burned
all of your life
in your youth
then disappeared
leaving
me
blistered
©
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2021
As pulsing through my veins starts to slow way down
Tiny part of me is relieved
Blood swirling under skin nearly stands still
So subtle it's barely believed

My entire body pauses a moment
Then two
Paralyzed completely in place
As I prepare for the worst
A bed in death's embrace

Hearing goodbyes as world fades away
Quickly turns to black
Shifting from solid to spirit
Released from life to never come back
"We live on the cusp of death thinking that it won't be us..."
Jack Thompson Aug 2021
Pour a little bit.
Drink a little more.
Die a little slower
Feel a little less.
Psychosis deranged disease mental overdose comeGetMe
Raven Feels Jun 2021
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, this is the reason I write;>


dark rainbow rays mirrored on a ferris wheel
a getaway car in an edged escape to night steal

neon lights shimmering to hit the blind
whisper the whistles for an old memory on kind

like music blasting from ages of dreamt youth
sirens delight a heaven to the soothe

instrumental of the better sometimes wilder
violins haven hearts of lost on minder

crowds beat in one
rockstar of a blast concert as if none

sweat painted down the back
shivering sensations never seem to black

a run for life from the poison killing attach
even when the loneliest matters or not without a match

heard before my days known in my mercury
just uranused with a flaw abroad the mild century

is it for a regret?
to keep this mere on an impossible met

yellow on the head
better hidden not said?

a smoking pulse on a midnight walk to anger
hair torn feet split on a single dancer

hell of a heartbreak on rhymes
driving on blades on knives

upon screams liberate a burning love rosed
rare nostalgia again miracled an incredulous indie overdosed


                                                                                  ------ravenfeels
Samantha Dietz Jun 2021
I don't want to count the crows
Don't want to focus on my woes
When life has me in it's throws
I don't need another omen

I don't want to watch the stars
And wonder where you are
I'd rather you pick up the call
Than hear the line ring open

I don't want to hear that voice
Telling me that you made a choice
When we should just rejoice
Instead of stand here frozen

I don't want to say goodbye
I want you to be alright
Don't want to beg the open sky
Or cry a ******* ocean

I don't want to count the crows
I want you to come home
Without you, you must know
How many hearts will be broken
My friend is in the hospital. I don't want him to die. I dont want to burying another loved one. Please wake up.
Next page