Never more distraught than when parents dared to have a night out near Christmas. Complete desolation at their betrayal was quickly assuaged by nana, babysitting like a boss, with a steady stream of treats and staying up late to watch Dempsey and Makepeace
Ever since I was a little girl, I never called anyone old. I referred to older people as elderly. One day, out of nowhere I decided that a person is "old" when they reach the age of 70. My grandmother, who I call nana turned 70 last year. Now I am morally allowed to call her old in my mind. She thinks it's hilarious and she loved her mockery of a cake!
All jokes aside though, being "old" scares me. As I'm sure it scares many. To me "old" means; out lived desire. The desire to live becomes almost invisible; non existent. My mother is fighting two battles. Mental and physical. The mental aspect of her brain is fueled by her children's emotions and her physical pain. She is constantly worrying about her children and if they are okay mentally and physically. She has had her share of mistakes but she will always be my momma. Her physical battle consumes her whole body. Pain 24/7 with little to no relief. She is a strong women but because of her mental battle all her life, her body is that of an older woman. Medicine only goes so far and sometimes it feels like my prayers hit the ceiling and fall. My mom is not "old" but sometimes I feel like she "out lived desire." She continues to fight these two battles with a smile on her face [most days.]
Today you are 18,036 days old, but today, you are stronger, braver, and wiser than when you were 18,035 days old!!!
We never broke up We just sort of broke down I was wearing my shame Instead of my crown You spat out the ashes That tasted like flame And it hurt cause it burnt When you said my name Now there’s time for regret And moments for tears The mistakes I made Will stay with me for years But you’re nothing royal No knight sent for me You’re more like a dragon You like when I bleed And though I’m no princess I’ll keep my head high Inside I slay dragons And you’re just a guy.
My mum got a call I wasn't supposed to listen But I did You have passed away Hopefully without pain Shes still on the phone Not knowing that I know I cant let her know That Im choking back these tears Why is everyone Leaving this Earth This year I know you were old And I know I have never seen you Because you live so far away But I love you dearly and I hope you are okay I love you my nana And forever will
Nana Your skin was so thin your structure, so frail but your mind so available like a puppy down a trail You would hold me close my red hair and skin pale I miss the smell of liquorice that was always so stale But I wouldn't care because your presence was fresh, calming exhale Every night bedside an enlightening tale And your grasp so warm at night when I'd wail for my mothers absent touch; your love purer than hers, consistently, without fail So I hope you're watching Nana and know my love for you will always prevail
She has a pretty smile, That goes on for a while Her teeth are really white, Some might say what a sight She is always quick to hug & kiss, When she's away, I really miss When I am hurt, she cares so much She always has that special touch She quit her job when I was a baby, So she could play & watch me daily Brownies, cookies, candy, & cakes, My Nana really loves to bake For her job, homes she cleans, Her clients love her so much they scream! There really is no test, My Nana is the very best
I found an old poem I wrote in the second grade & couldn't help but light up at the younger days.