Here I am passing by, passing by until the day I die.

I am writing late night, late night, because I cannot keep up the fight.

I am drowning in my feelings, my feelings are unbreakable sealings.

There's something in my heart, in my heart and it feels like it's falling apart, apart.

The motivation to keep on going, has stopped growing, there's nothing worthy left, it will be an eternal rest.

But I can't allow myself to quit, to quit, because I am not the person who's gonna give up too quick, too quick.

So... Here I am passing by, passing by until the day I die.
Anne 5d
I needed you once
and you needed me,

till she came and took my place
all the kisses
                        hugs
                             ­     cuddles
                                                are no more.

But i'm glad i was your
f i r s t
and you were mine.
my torso feels uninhabited. i don't know at what point at the beach it began, but it's here now, and here it will stay. i've been disgusted before. i've been loatheful, philanthropic, remorseful, tired, elated, and sad. it's now magnified ten fold, beyond my ability to comprehend what i'm feeling. my hands tremble for no reason, my skin burns and my lips are cracked and i taste iron and salt. the sores inside my mouth are of my own creation. i'm nothing but a faulty sore. docility is fraudulent within me. is it automatic? is it for my own good? is it instinctual? each second scrapes across my chest like sandpaper. i feel time taking its toll on me, feel it slowly siphon away any ounce of will i retained. im hollow, requesting any exertion is disappointing on both ends.

waves crash against my steady, planted body, and i wish they would dissolve the rotting features ive grown to despise as i despise time. to melt into the sea, to crash against the feet of the suffering and give them an alternative to standing as an emptied vessel.  to take my form and the cavern of discomfort that rests alongside it. im near hysterics, just pondering the corporeal presence of my being. let me float away, let the water nip away at my flesh until im nothing.

let my body be.
hey hoes
god is tugging at my sleeve. the weight added to the fabric adds an urgency to my steps. im sweating now, grappling with the burdensome presence of a creator. he whines and demands my attention. he cries when i cant pick him up off the ground. he asks for task after task of menial, worthless labor until i am face first on the dirt with exhaustion. my aura has grown squeamish with anticipation of his next tantrum.  i walk on hand sharpened eggshells i myself have placed as he ordered, i live in a fortress of solitude, shame, exasperation, and fear. i retract myself from enjoyment, fulfillment, and success at the empty promises he gives to entrap me further. since birth i have upheld this responsibility. babysat my guardians. protected them from their own mistakes. leaving feels like abandoning an infant to destroy itself from the inside out. living for myself invokes nausea and confusion. how can i function without approval from the hellbeast that gave me life only to use it for his own?  growth is the only freeing process by which i can loosen his grip on the fabric of my shirt. outgrow your creator, your fractorial parent, your burden you did not choose to undertake. slowly detach from his entrapment. slowly make your life worth living again.
hey homos im sad
Building those metaphors that personify beauty
Creating an allusion by using epigraphs
With allegory and alliteration creating euphemism
And midst litotes and kennings
Forming masterpiece

// Cheers to all the poets.
cheers to all the poets
say Jul 3
how you make me feel
it consumes my mind
entertains me, captivates me, holds me in a cell
my feelings wanting to break free
yet
my lips are sealed

when you ask me who do you want
I say nothing
enslaved by my own will
I dont want to speak

you know I want you
I can't hide my actions
my speculations are driving me crazy
I am trapped
I am trapped

what if I spoke
more than just a stupid joke
I would be free
I could be me

Freedom of feeling
it is liberating
also deteriorating
decorating
heart-breaking
faking


when feelings are like a fragile glass
shattered at the slightest shake

is it  really worth
risk taking
Aaron LaLux Jul 3
I’m an Anti-Social Socialite,
rocking new New Balances,
most of these Kids aren’t rockin’ right,
they’ve got too much ego & too few talents with,
attitudes that need adjusting,
in other words they’re not talented,
when I appear Haters disappear,
call that a Lover’s Magic Trick,

written 10 books,
and still don’t know what an adjective is,
it’s like we’re Illiterate Literary Luminaries,
walking paradoxes in a par of Croc kicks,

kinda like an Anti-Social Socialite,
or a wise man that’s lost it,
even though we both know we’re never lost,
because we’re always here and always on topic,

and you’re never late either,
because the time is always now,
and I do all these things,
even though I don’t know how,

wow,

I’m an Anti-Social Socialite,
rocking new New Balances,
most of these Kids aren’t rockin’ right,
they’ve got too much ego & too few talents with,
attitudes that need adjusting,
in other words they’re not talented,
when I appear Haters disappear,
call that a Lover’s Magic Trick…

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

new book available worldwide: 8/8/18
Rachel Jun 30
I spend my hours tossed to the wayside wondering where you are



And christalmighty oh mercy it hurts the longer we're apart



Breaking my every bone would be easier than living without you



But the truth is that I've lied too much to ever tell the truth



I've taken all the cautions i can take and still I'm cautious



And the sight of your perfect body is enough to make me nauseous



I imagine what it's like to spend a night tangled in your bed



I'm standing in the frozen foods and this store is completely dead



These fantasies of you and me have left me bruised and beaten



Let's lose our heads and clothes tonight now that you have me defeated



The drink you're raising to your lips falls to the floor and shatters



We're wasted as we waste away the only thing that matters



Is it vain of me to think that this is love that we have started?



Or is there no more feeling than the first time that we parted?



I spend my hours tossed to the wayside I wonder where you are



I fear that we have ended before we had the chance to start
Ifeoma Jun 29
Energy flowing into those little fingers

as they ran across the keys

making my head to spin

and my thoughts scatter all over.

But then again, with so much force

they produce magnificent sounds

and I see my future right ahead.

My broken heart mended

and my torn skin regenerated.

Marvellous, as I watched those little fingers

play my thoughts to sleep

and I, nodding slowly to the rhythm in my head.
and i thought i could not feel love but love is in the tiniest of things in life if only it is noticed
Aaron LaLux Jun 27
Can I tell you a secret,
I think you’re the most beautiful,
when you wake up with no makeup,
in my arms where you are held,

and you’re stretching and yawning,
and I’m purring an pawing,
and it seems,
that any moment without you,
is just time in between,
and I know this is hard to explain,
but do you know what I mean?

I mean,
you know what I mean.

I’ll make the work worth it,
come join this One Man Cult,
we can all dance in the sunset,
it’s our choice but not our fault,

nope not at all.

No denial without admittance,
not the government don’t keep secrets,
no espionage at all,
I’m an open book you can read it,

hey you,
can I tell you a secret?

It’s our choice,
but not our fault,
we can all dance in the sunset,
come join this One Man Cult,

thought that we were one,
until I realized we’re all things,

can I tell you a secret,
I think you’re the most beautiful,
when you wake up with no makeup,
in my arms where you are held,

and you’re stretching and yawning,
and I’m purring an pawing,
and it seems,
that any moment without you,
is just time in between,
and I know this is hard to explain,
but do you know what I mean?

∆ Aaron La Lux ∆

Venice, California; 2018
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