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4.1k · Jan 2018
Repeat
Skylar Keith Jan 2018
20:00 - Dinner
Alone but entertained
I like it that way

21:00 - Skype calls
Not having talked for four days
I've missed her yet the occasional silence is nice

22:00 - Fillers
Scrolling through pictures and sharing thoughts
A pleasant and calm feeling

23:00 - Rethinking
The first hypothetical theories about the day
Laughing at the slip-ups to push them away

00:00 - Reflecting
Doubting choices throughout the week
Faking a small smile

01:00 - Endurance
A familiar feeling spreads
Downcast eyes and a facade of peace

02:00 - Creative
New ideas and thoughts fill up the space
Pick and choosing which ones would hurt the most now

03:00 - Idealistic
Reading stories about happiness, pain and change
Wondering what will become of me

04:00 - Closure
Horrible thoughts tearing down the last walls
Curling up and crying again

05:00 - End
Following a familiar routine before sleep comes
Cradling the broken mind
A familiar Routine
3.6k · Nov 2017
Mistakes
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
"**** is that her trying to comfort you?"
No, that's her actually noticing that it ***** and doing something
You didn't answer it even when I pointed at it subtly
I bet you were just laughing

Jealousy fills you again
At this point I've given up
I don't know what to say
I don't want to say; you're the only friend that matters and yeah what the hell was she thinking?

She cares and I know she does
She shows it not through a lot of talking or jokes
She shows through small things that show me she notices them

You said you'd keep it away from me
Yet here we are again
You're pushing it onto me

Must be **** that I saw it before you deleted the text saying that
I won't address it
I'm not making that mistake again

What matters
Is that you realized
You shouldn't have sent that text in the first place
**** happens and I won't play nice and dumb anymore
1.3k · May 2018
Happy Place
Skylar Keith May 2018
I'm where I want to be
The happy place
I've returned after two years
Much has changed
Many things have not

The sights of skyscrapers
The scent of green tea and fumes
All seems like home to me as I walk through the city

Yet I cry
Smiling comes from time to time
Fake it until you make it comes into play as I'm asked how I am
Silent screams of loneliness
Tears of yearning
For things just beyond my reach

I'm falling into the darkness while in my happy place
When I return 'home' it will be worse

Isolation
Pain
Frustration
Fear

All this fills my mind as I wave goodbye to Tokyo
Kyoto is to come
A spark of joy and excitement

Yet why am I dying when I'm in my happy place

Tokyo & Kyoto
Thoughts while on the Shikansen from Tokyo to Kyoto
853 · Oct 2017
Breathe
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
The smoke rises
Inside this cage of glass
Is it snow or paper
You will never know

Your breath fogs up the glass as you stare out
As you stare at me

I can't see you
Tilting my head I smile
How pretty it is
My thoughts

I shake the globe
Watching it snow down
As I cry

Are you crying?
We can cry together
As the snow falls

You're just a figure of my imagination
Yet I cry
As I stare through the glass
Snow globes

That's what they're called
My thoughts
As my breath fogs up the glass
I stare outside
As we watch the snow fall
Written while listening to "Breathe" by Lee Hi
802 · Oct 2017
Skylar
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
Hey
Who are you?
But I'm me
You can't be me
Yet you feel like home
You feel like me
How can you be me, if I'm me?
You say you are a part of me
I don't get it
How

Oh
You are me
A part of me
I love you
I love me
Yet you tear me apart
Am I tearing myself apart?
I don't know myself anymore
I feel like you
I want to be you
Skylar
Sky
So far yet so close
Skylar
Who am I?


Hey
I'm Skylar
I am me
He is me
She is me
Two in One
I've had you with me all this time
Yet I couldn't see you
I'm sorry

Oh
They're tearing me apart
What
Who
Do I want to be?
I don't know who I am

Hey
I guess this is who I am
Oh
I get it
It's called
Bigender
It feels so right
Yet so wrong at times


Skylar looks down at himself
Why do they have to be there?
She is Skylar now too
It makes me feel better
Yet it tears me apart when I don't know
Help
Stay away

Skylar
712 · Oct 2017
Edge
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
Come to the Edge
Don't be scared
That's what they said

Edge of what?
The Edge changed

Don't go!
It's dangerous
It's different now

Come closer
Step away
Which one is it?

Turn away!
Jump!
What edge are you on?

Some Edges are made to jump from
Some Edges you look over
Some Edges you leave

The same way you came
Jump if you can fly
Can you fly?

Find your wings
To the Edge I say
The Edge you stand on is the one you chose or found

Jump if you can fly
Walk if you can't

Find the Edge that belongs to you and lifts you high above
You'll find your place
704 · Oct 2017
Loud Silence
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
You speak
You yell
You slam

These are the things I remember

The times of fear
The trembling of my hands
The streams of tears

These are the things I remember

The times of hatred
The fire burning
Yet I hid it
In fear
You slam
Remember?
That's what I remember

Do you remember?
I don't believe you
The hugs you gave
That drove me insane
You said it was fine
You never asked me
You asked yourself
Is it okay?
Yes
That's not what I said

Tears
I hope I left a stain
I recall all that

The times when you raised the hand
I don't recall if I felt it
The time I stared at the number on the screen
Debating
I took to long
The door opened and you were there
I never made that call
That day is when my Fear burned bright
My instincts told me to run
I was frozen
Had I run
What would you have done?
Raised your voice or your hand
Or something else
I hope I'll never know

I want to know

Are my fears justified
I can only know if I break out of my silence
Silence that screams
Run
Leave
Forget

Forgetting is what I've done so far
Repress
Suppress
Forget the times
I forget the times that would lessen my fear
Do those times even exist
I don't know
I don't care

I have to break free
A cage I've built for protection
You used it against me
To keep me where you want me
Vulnerable

Silence is screaming
All the times
I curled up
Fear
Hurt
Pain
I don't want to feel that way
Yet here I am
Silent
Staying put in fear
I can't speak
Tongue tied
Screaming Inside
Caught up in my own words
That you will never hear

Shut up
I don't care
...
Silence
Continuation of Empty Memories
626 · Jan 2018
Ask me again
Skylar Keith Jan 2018
Day in day out I ask myself
The same question again and again
I have an answer but don't speak out

How am I feeling?
Why am I holding on?
Why do I want to listen but not talk?

People tell me I'm optimistic
How can I not be?
When I have to use every smile as a stepping stone

A stepping stone that I have to preserve
I need to be like that
To see another tomorrow
616 · Nov 2018
Pretty funny
Skylar Keith Nov 2018
Short spurts  get me through
I'm running out of fuel
The siren in warning of the fall to come

By now the idea of making it
Seems like a joke from long ago
Definitely not as funny as I thought it was

Would it change if I closed my eyes
Or is it all the same
Imminent reunion with the prison

Part of me cannot wait
The familiarity of it all drawing me in
Just as it is with human ideology

I  name it 'H.O.M.E'
So I don't confuse it with home
I reside here so I might as well make myself comfortable
583 · Dec 2017
Balance
Skylar Keith Dec 2017
I said I didn't want to talk
so I ignored you
Too long

I said sorry
You said it's fine
Silence

Ups and downs is what we had
The fifteen days with you were nice
We are over it now

You give me balance
Yet your surroundings are in chaos
I am my own chaos

I think of you at times
Hoping that you are safe
In the turmoil of Catalonia
worry for a friend
571 · Nov 2020
Lost within
Skylar Keith Nov 2020
I'm walking all alone
Through a dense and dark forest
Whispering surrounds me yet there's no one there

"I miss you."

The air is thick with regrets
As the fog builds up so does the guilt
Was it something I did?
I won't ever know at this rate

I reach out to grab ahold of something
Anything that could help me
I stumble through the trees
Heading nowhere yet searching

When did it come to this point?
I can't even text you to ask how you are
Will I ever get to see you again, let alone hug you?

"I'm so sorry for the way I've been treating you. You were always there for me."

Yet there was no change
I still know nothing
I'm still without any answers
I just miss you, you were my best friends, my family. Now I can't even say hi

Quotes are form texting, coming from her
566 · Nov 2017
Red
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
Red
Reflecting into my vision
Red
Reading between the lines of my own mind

Running away
Red
Running back

Rotten judgement is what I seem to be
Red
Ripped away from what I know about myself

Reviling is what I am accused of
Red
Right or wrong doesn't seem to matter anymore

Responsibility knocks on my door
Red
Reduce the yearning

Remorse fills my eyes
Red
Rolling my eyes in mockery

Checkmate
"Life is what you make it (Zico)"
or does life make you?
542 · Dec 2017
Getting out of bed
Skylar Keith Dec 2017
"You're very reserved lately"
...
"Did you have an argument?"
No
"This time of year I was studying for my finals the most"
'Congratulations' ...
"What's your plan?"
...
"Won't the trip, if it happens, pressure you?"
No
"Your mood..."
Yes
"Are you having trouble getting out of bed in the morning?"
No
"I have choir tonight"
Okay
"I'm tired"
I can see that
"Really? I'll rest before dinner then"
Okay

I want to cry
532 · Nov 2017
Inefficient
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
A dark field that stretches in front of me
Seeming to have no end
I sigh, turning my head to look back

The black mist seeps through the crack of the wall
I built it
Safety or precaution
I don't know which
I can't remember

Both things are dark
Seem to be a danger
I must face
As I can't go anywhere else

Left - Right
I don't want to go there
Inefficient

I sigh, looking back
It's grinning at me
Creepy
It's laughing at me
Creepy
They come closer

I smirk
Not at the path
Not at the mist

They close around me
Trapping me
All I can do is smirk
They sky went from gray to black in a matter of seconds
529 · Nov 2017
Warzone
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
I was in shock
I ran
I cried

I was better
I laughed
I sighed

I was angry
I yelled
I scoffed

It hurt so I cried and ran
Guess nothing really matters now
I cover my eyes as I cry again
I pushed her away as she wanted to hug me
I screamed at her and she looked hurt
I don't have the energy to care

I'm back in my safe haven
It's in the middle of a war zone
Wounds and tears staining the way
Until I realize mine looks worse
I can't bring myself to care
Can you?
I don't care
I feel hard today, time after time
I fell again and after today
Silence will ensue
529 · Jan 2018
Communication
Skylar Keith Jan 2018
They say loyalty is the most important
I beg to differ

Honesty

If you can't give me that
Then you have nothing to give me
520 · Oct 2017
White Lie
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
I bet you thought it was going to have something to do with snow
Well you weren't wrong, I just said it
Yet you are wrong

You think I'm that easy?
You think you can predict me so well
Too bad
You can't do that
You cannot read my mind the way you think you can

I'm not your average experiment
You don't see my smiles
My laughs
You don't see my plan

It's the counterattack
Think I'm easy, think I'm simple
You think I'll play right into your hands?

I'd think the same if I was you
Everything is planned
Every hug, tear and laugh
It's all planned

When we part
You'll be the one trying to hold on
I won't depend on you

I'm not your experiment
I'm not that easy
You don't know **** on what's going on up in there
I know
and I'll make an experiment
Continue like this
and
You might be next

Or maybe I live under the same illusion of being being able to read you

Is it a white lie to say I don't care?
519 · Mar 2018
Redemption
Skylar Keith Mar 2018
Throughout time
The game of cat and mouse
More so
Hunter and prey

Your words and actions fly like bullets
Loud and clear
or a mere whisper before the pain
I've had enough

Baring teeth and claws
I turn and gaze back
This act of endless circling isn't for you
It's for me; giving you time to change

I've broken the circle
I've turned my back
Redemption
For myself

I don't care if you try anymore
I will redeem myself
So I can look ahead and live
Knowing that I won
Now I've made you cry and crumble
I've beat you at your own game

It's been so long
I can't shed a tear for you
They were all for me
As I watched myself break and fade
Not much longer now

I'm getting a taste of redemption
Sometimes things won't work and you don't want them to
Don't waste your time any longer
Putting yourself first does not have to be selfish
498 · Nov 2017
Sunrise
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
My ceiling stares back at me as I yawn
My eyelids feel heavy yet I can't sleep
Yet here I am, wide awake

01:00 - The usual time
02:00 - The new normal
03:00 - I might miss my alarm if I don't sleep

I stare at my ceiling as I think
My thoughts are jumbled
Messed up, unclear

04:00 - Is there a point in sleeping at all
05:00 - Barely any sleep time left now
06:00 - An hour until I hear the song

Now there's no point at all
I rub my eyes and I yawn
Yet another sleepless night
The usual nights at this point
488 · Jan 2018
Velvet
Skylar Keith Jan 2018
Shimmering lightly as you move
Lights bouncing off of your high features
I think this must be a dream

You'd never do this
Yet here you are
Moving against me as the night fades

Gestures into touches
Gazes into stares
Thoughts into actions

Last Night
Tonight
Tomorrow's night

Soft and warm to the touch
Your skin under my fingertips
We keep coming back to this

Darkness comes
You come
I come
Easing into the working mood of a Saturday
479 · Nov 2017
Thank you
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
Wind streams through the cracks
Lifting my spirits as I awake
Only to realize you're still asleep
Smiling as you cuddle the warm blanket
Moments go by
Words can't describe how happy I am
When I can spend time with you
I will never be able to thank you enough

You're the sun that shines through the rain
The flower on the barren ground

Your arms wrap around me when I cry
I'd push others away
but not you

Why?
Because you're my other half
Even through silence

Why?
Because you're what makes me smile
Even through tears

Why?
Because
You're you

Thank you
Dedicated to my best friend Bloom
473 · Oct 2017
Better
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
What does it mean
to be better
First I smiled
then I sighed
Back then I asked myself
Does better feel like what I feel now?

Numb

The answer is no
I fell back into old ways
Wanting to get better
I had nothing to aim for
Still as clueless as before about what is meant

I look in the mirror
and laugh
Still clueless

Have I gotten better?
No
I've gotten worse

Now
I'm more clueless
Do I want to get better?

Good question
446 · Oct 2017
Ignorance
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
Warmth
Kindness
Respect

This is what we all deserve
The path is long
Worth it

You think you've given me that
Your peacemaking
Is for yourself
To think that you've done nothing wrong
That I'm not sitting here in Tears because of you

Peace
I'm not at peace
Not with you

They respect me
They show me kindess
They give me warmth
It goes both ways

Your warmth is nothingness
Your kindness is fake
Your respect is to yourself
When will you learn?

Insecure
Unsure
Lost
Their embrace give me hope
Yours makes me cry
Not because of what happened
but how I let myself down again
How much I hate your arms wrapped around me
Get off
You make me hate everything that is you
I'd blame it on you
I do
Not fully
You blame others
You do
Fully
When will you learn?
You're not in control
They have their own way to go
As I have mine
You lost my permission to run alongside with me
In the World that is my Home

Respect
Kindness
Warmth
It should go both ways

Your ignorance isn't bliss
Continuation of Empty Memories and Loud  Silence
434 · Nov 2017
Smiles
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
It's snowing
Shrugging, I turn away
It hurts
I remember you when I see snow
I cried

No focus
My mind feels like the world
Sentenced to death
No hope
No progress

I laugh coldly
It hurts
At least I can smile now
If the blood dries it'll hurt again
Oh well

**** happens right?
434 · Nov 2017
But it's so easy!
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
It's easy
You should get this
but I don't
I haven't
and
I won't

Let me help you!
More like let me laugh at you while I fail
Everybody else gets it, why don't I?

Stupid
I'm not
Stupid
I am

I guess that's it
Nothing less
Nothing more
Stupid

There's a quiz
"Until you guys do your job"
Sorry that I don't get it
Sorry that I'm stupid
Is that what I should say when you look me in the eye
and
Tell me that I make mistakes that should only happen in lower school

Thanks I guess?
He says I must hate math
I say I don't
I just hate him

I hate you too
I kept my mouth  shut
I don't need to say that
I shouldn't say that
I don't

Him and him are so similar
I hate it
I hate them
432 · Jan 2018
Bruises
Skylar Keith Jan 2018
I never know what's happening
When this happens
I lose control

All I can see is opportunities
All I want to feel is pain
All I want to do is cry without crying

Self-Destruction
That's what I need sometimes
Feeling the pain

Seeing the bruises in my face
Feeling the throb of my head
Thinking those thoughts

I'm always alone because I can't control it
A memory that came to me after I slipped and fell
429 · Dec 2017
Becoming undone
Skylar Keith Dec 2017
Looking back there are many mistakes
Should I have looked away?
Should I have shut up?
Regrets

Should I have faked it
Should I have tried harder
Now I sit here
No purpose

Rain hits the glass
The glass casing of my soul
As it begs for me to stop
To turn off the light

Maybe I'll turn it off soon
Thoughts
410 · Nov 2017
Second chance
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
I wasn't done talking
You said it wasn't stopping
What?
Bleeding is what you answered with

I stopped talking
As did you
We didn't know what we were doing
Now I think it is better

I can laugh and smile now
As can you
Our love has changed
I am not sad and neither are you

We lost the love we used to have
We love even stronger now
It is better

I call you sister
You smile
Happiness
Something similar to a  continuation of wanting
Comlex and so difficult to figure out
I'm glad it has settled down the way it as
I gained a sister I can freely love and care for now
409 · Nov 2017
Beauty
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
Words, Phrases, Quotes
Come together as one as I sit in front of the plasma screen
Wondering what this is for
It'll end right?

Look up and then look down
How much pain and anguish
Have we caused this world?

Read
Look
Think

Every war
Every building
Every breath

The path of destruction no matter how much we try to stop
Severe strain on this planet
Dark skies and burnt land

The whisper of the wind
Begging to stop
Begging us to stop

In the search for beauty and eternity
What have we done
What have we become?
01:14 thoughts while writing an essay
408 · Mar 2018
Graduation
Skylar Keith Mar 2018
I'll laugh off the bad ones
Grin at the good
Pretend that I don't care

Sometimes I can push it away like an annoying bug
Sometimes I can't

I'll feel the tears
I'll feel the shame
I'll feel jealousy

To tell you the truth, I don't think I can do it
Thoughts for the two upcoming months
393 · Nov 2017
Skies
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
Colours fade into one
Creating swirls of dreams above
I look up and hold your hand

I want to hold it forever
We'll part but I can still hold it in my dreams
I dream of seeing you again

Many years have passed
I can still feel your hand when I look up
Smiling at the dreams I have
Wishing you could be there to see them

Yet I know you can't
You're above the colours
The dream I'll reach when it all ends

Until then
I'll be down here
Dreaming of holding your hand
Winter is coming soon and I am reminding of my friend from back then
I never stopped missing him or loving him
But with time, acceptance has come and I can love again
I was too young to see it as young but nevertheless I did
Thank you for the memories
383 · Oct 2017
Busy
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
I try
I'm busy I'm sorry
You are ahead of me yet you seem to have nothing to do
I try to be there
Work, Sadness, Anger
I told you
I'm busy
You text
Again
Again
and again
Complain about me
I've told you I'm busy
I never complain when you are not there
I respect you
Your work, your anger, your sadness
Why can't you do the same?
It makes me feel
Sadness and Anger
I don't know what to do
I've told you I'm busy
You ask if I'm sure I want to stay
I have it
Time
Hapiness
Yet you tell me to go work
Why?
Make the choice
It makes me feel
Sadness
Anger
I've told you
I'm busy
Respect
372 · Nov 2017
Through the clouds
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
Dark clouds drift overhead
I am looking up
You are looking down
We should be looking ahead

For your sake
For my sake
Four our sakes

I look down
You look up
We make eye contact
Before turning away again

Here we are again
I guess you can hear the violence within in my silence
I don't hear anything from you

Maybe I'm deaf
Maybe I stopped listening to others
Who knows

I don't want to let go
Yet here I am
Thinking and thinking

Looking down at the red thread
Holding the scissors in my hand
Unsure of what to do
I don't know what to do
351 · Oct 2017
I had fun
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
Alarms ring in my head
When I see you act
I know it's fake so don't bother

I can see through you
We are playing each other
It's a game
That Iv'e come to enjoy

It's my favorite when you break character
I can see your thoughts and emotions
You think I don't
Those moments are getting more and more
Have you gotten bored?

No joy anymore when you see my break down in tears
That's not weakness
It's all a game remember
You think I don't know how much I lean on you in those times
I do

No effort
Half-assed
Boring

That's what you've made this into
Such a shame
I was having loads of fun

I guess that I didn't see
You didn't
Shame
350 · Dec 2017
Feathers
Skylar Keith Dec 2017
I spread my wings
Looking left before turning the other way
This time I can make it

Jumping from the spot I perch on
Soaring across the ranges
Watching my shadow fly over the fields

Almost made it
Looking left and sighing
Once again I didn't make it

One last glance is thrown at the place I yearn for
My wings failing me as I plummet to the ground
My eyes opening only to see the familiar scenery of my room

One more failed attempt to get what I want
Dreams can leave us wondering what we want in life
Can make us ask ourselves what it is that we want
What we want to do
343 · Mar 2018
Note to self
Skylar Keith Mar 2018
Is there something that you want but can't approach?
Something you want to know
Yet you hide or sneak in a quick look
We make excuses as to why not

What do you have to lose?
Your pride, your independence?
No
Losing these things is an illusion that you project on yourself
Even if you don't want to

What you do can define you
What you do not do can define you
What do you want to define yourself as?

Not to them
Not to me
To you

Who do you want to be and what do you want to do?
Just a few thoughts throughout the last weeks

Quick reminder to myself and others that you can define who you are so that YOU can be happy <3

You give yourself your pride, independence and strength
You are the one who can decide what you want to do with your desire
339 · Nov 2017
No it's not
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
I cry while I remember the look you gave when I got it wrong
Again
Now you've ripped my comfort way from me
The one who didn't look down on me
The one who got me to understand

You're surprised at the effect?
No you are not
You knew
but
You didn't care

So be it
Guess I'll cry every time I don't understand
Everyday

Isolation
328 · Oct 2017
Wanting
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
Did you leave?
So far, yet so close
If I reach out, will my fingers touch empty air?

You've gone
Yet when I feel like this
I always think you are right by my side

Why must you haunt me like this?
I just want to move on
Yet images of you fill my mind

Sadness through your tears and cuts
I've seen them all and I want to reach out to you
Embrace you and never let go

When I close my eyes and curl up
I imagine you next to me
Holding me close while I cry

When you close your eyes and curl up
You imagine me right by your side
Holding you close while you cry

All your tears and cuts
All my tears and cuts
What are they for?

For what others say
What others do
All the bruises they've given you
I want to erase
I want to run my fingers over your skin and see you smile
I want to be there for you

When I reach out
What will my fingers touch?
Empty Air
You

Neither
All I feel is the cold and dead feeling
of a screen against my fingertips
As I cry out for you and I know you do the same

You're haunting me and I curl up
Imagining you to be there with me
While we cry

So close, yet so far
Only a border between us
The phone screen staying black
As you cry
As I cry

No bruises or cuts
No tears or screams
All I ever wanted was for you to smile
All I ever wanted was to see you smile
328 · Nov 2017
Fields of Green
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
Everything is okay
Green fills my vision
Wind threads her fingers through my hair

Talking about Friday
As she smiles at me and reaches out
I smile back before turning to the window

Everything is not okay
White flakes brush across the blades of green
He soothes my heart with a smile
Lunch time toughts
324 · Dec 2017
Home
Skylar Keith Dec 2017
What is it?
Who is it?
Where is it?

Those are things only you can answer
The individual decides what home is to them
Comfort and safety
305 · Oct 2017
Messages
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
Drip drip
The rain hits the window as the screen lights up again
Unread and ignored messages
Why don't you answer?
Because you're doing what you should have done all those nights before this one
Eyes closed as the rain becomes the rhythm of your dreams
Drip drip
Here we go again
The same dream
Your mind may seem dark
It may scare and fright
But it is home
They say your mind is killing you
but your dreams are what keep you here
Your eyes hurt at the light
Smiling as you shut out the light
Asleep once again as you dream away
Drip Drip
The rain hits the window as the screen stays black
Messages that say goodnight
You don't answer
Deep deep sleep
As your dreams takes you away
To dance to the rhythm of the rain
292 · Oct 2017
Lights
Skylar Keith Oct 2017
Darkness descends
Lights rise
What have we come to?

Strangers scream
It rips through the silence
That the Night promised

One
It flickers
It's weak and broken

Two
This one is stronger
It cuts through the curtains of layered black

Three
Brighter than the others
But it won't be enough

Get me out of here
Who am I talking to?
Myself I'd hope
That I take the first steps to find my way

Follow the lights you say?
What lights?
Oh
Those before right?

That's only three steps
How will I feel better through that?

I call *******
That's what we all do right?
We want to get better yet we think others need to reach out

Reach out to what?
They cannot see you from where you are
Even if you just try
It'll create a splash and people will reach out

Take the first steps
One
Two
Three
You're not alone anymore

Reach out to them and they'll extend their hands
Pulling you up
Into the world that you've been missing out on

Don't give up
No matter what comes
You're stronger than you think
Alone or together
You can smile again
Never stop pushing for what you want and for a smile that is yours to claim
We all have our shadows but don't let them define you
Fight
290 · Apr 2018
Growing up
Skylar Keith Apr 2018
Mama, Mama
Sweet smiles and laughter
A slow change in time and distance

Papa, Papa
Recurring absences
Assumptions that you've forced onto me

Sometimes I want to have a functional family
Sometimes I am glad it is this way
Otherwise I may have not met the people I know and love today

Thank you
282 · Nov 2017
Feelings
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
Across the water
The rock glides above

Beyond the depths lie
Waiting for us to fall in

Reflecting the light
Shadows grow
Feeling low and high
271 · Nov 2017
Absence
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
Darkness clouds around me
I sit alone
Trying to focus

Too many sounds and thoughts
It's different this time
I'm smiling today

Even when the snow touched the ground
I thought of you
I still miss you but I'm happy you live on

In my heart and mind
It's been around 10 years, I still cry but sometimes I can smile at the thought of you
268 · Jan 2019
Trust
Skylar Keith Jan 2019
So valuable yet so fragile

If I could turn back time I would
I would sacrifice everything to right my wrong doing

Just thinking about it makes me want to die
Please don't take my words lightly
I don't want your fear of losing me to become reality

Regardless of those words
I can feel myself dying inside
Each thought brings me closer to the end
Each tear turns into drops of blood
Each sob tears me apart

I don't know what to do anymore
253 · Jan 2019
This kind of Storm
Skylar Keith Jan 2019
I can't breathe
My own body is rejecting me
I'm sick to the stomach and thoughts pierce me like bullets

I shiver with every second that passes
Out of disgust or fear I do not know

My mind has become my prison
Caging me into pain and sorrow
Not only did I betray your trust
I betrayed myself to an extent I knew not possible

Is that me I see in the mirror?
All I see is a mistake within a mistake
A mistake born from a strong woman and a treacherous storm

I found my strengths yet ignored the cliff at my path
Thinking that I would be better

Now I have become a storm of my own
Not one that brings rain and dark skies
The kind that one wishes to never see
Just as treacherous as the one I was born from

The other half of my soul
Watches in despair from the ground
Knowing that soon thunder and lightning will come
The wind will tear everything apart
What will survive this storm?

The only thing the eye can see
Is a skeletal flower turning to dust
A beautiful and gloomy death

I could have been better than this
245 · Nov 2017
Comfort
Skylar Keith Nov 2017
Pink, purple, blue
I wonder why it is like this
I wonder when it got like this
Pouncing onto every chance I can get

Running away
From what am I running
Far away is all that I want
Running is what I think I want to do

I want nothing to do with anyone
Yet I want to be close to them
Yearning to hug them when they feel sad
I can't because I'm here, only a few can I reach

So close, yet so far
Seems to be a pattern
For a lot of things
Fire is what should surround me to warm the others while I burn
Nothing changes it seems
yet
Everything is different
Inspired by all the friend I can't reach
233 · Nov 2018
Goodbye Beautiful
Skylar Keith Nov 2018
Every step has two consequences as it seems
Acceptance and understanding was one
The opposite was less than pleasant

Why I don't hate her?
Hating my life line would be pretty ironic
We all were hurt, not just you and I
Hurt can cause many misunderstandings
Something you and I should know very well by now

Neither want to say goodbye
Yet I don't want to walk on eggshells around my friends
I don't work that way and I hope that we can agree
Friends aren't there for that or creating hurt

I should not be your friend
Fingers get burned when playing with fire
We've learned this
Scars cover my hands, how are yours?

There's nothing left to say
Tears will run down my face when I give you the hand
Bringing you into the arms of someone who can make you happy
I wish it could have been me but it simply is not

I'm sorry for what I have done
I hope that one day you can accept my apologies
Why forgive me yet ignore her hurt?
I know I cannot change what happened

Turning back time
I would change this
Less tears for you and her
Less tears for me for sure
Therefore I must go

I can't stand in your way forever
The love seems too deep
I was walking blindfolded but I see now
I cannot provide what you want or need

I am sorry and I love you
One day I hope for you to see too
Just how beautiful you are

The day we say goodbye
Won't be a happy day
I'll cling onto the hope to see you smile one last time
214 · Jan 2018
What's best
Skylar Keith Jan 2018
Sometimes I wonder why
Other times I don't
I think leaving you behind is best
Hard times come and go
Life isn't easy, I never claimed it was
but sometimes something can make it easier
but that didn't
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