Behind the scenes
In the closet
It’s all the same
No one supports me
The real me
The one I can only show friends
I don’t want to hide it
Not from my family
But I have to
They wouldn’t understand
They’d just say “I’m being selfish”
Or “I don’t understand”
But I’m not dumb
I understand everything perfectly
I know who I am
And who I like
No one can change that
Hopefully people will accept me
Maybe I won’t have to hide
I can finally be true
Unlike most people
Who I am
The mystery is solved
I know me
Who I am was finally
I wrote this about me realizing that I’m a bigender pansexual.
Who are you?
But I'm me
You can't be me
Yet you feel like home
You feel like me
How can you be me, if I'm me?
You say you are a part of me
I don't get it
You are me
A part of me
I love you
I love me
Yet you tear me apart
Am I tearing myself apart?
I don't know myself anymore
I feel like you
I want to be you
So far yet so close
Who am I?
I am me
He is me
She is me
Two in One
I've had you with me all this time
Yet I couldn't see you
They're tearing me apart
Do I want to be?
I don't know who I am
I guess this is who I am
I get it
It feels so right
Yet so wrong at times
Skylar looks down at himself
Why do they have to be there?
She is Skylar now too
It makes me feel better
Yet it tears me apart when I don't know
My friend is bi-gender.
I'm not sure whether to say him or her,
But I really don't want to offend him/her...
After a lot of research about it,
And countless nights of no sleep, I'll admit.
I've finally come to a conclusion, I won't throw a fit.
At first I was scared,
I was scared that no one cared,
But then I saw your smile, and how you looked prepared,
"I've come to my decision!" I had declared.
I'm oh so very proud of my double gendered friend,
It still amazes me to no end.
Although others will say that you pretend,
I'll stay by your side as the days begin to blend.
Shout out to my bi-gender friend!
She's worrying and full of stress,
And perturbed by my voice,
She's failing to sleep over how I dress,
As if I have a choice,
She's 'scared' and 'confused' and 'losing hope',
"You're just confused or tying to cope."
She hates me for revealing my soul,
I'm wrong, too different inside,
Why can't I stick to my proper role?
"One or the other - decide,"
I'm messed up in the head, or acting or lying,
"It's too much for me, why are you crying?"
Which is worse?
He tries to understand me,
But in his outdated mind,
Just black and white, binary,
No in between to find,
He claims to be open but in reality,
Closed to all but what he's always believed.
He cannot accept who I am,
And disgust at all I said,
"Change or I won't give a ****,
If you're alive or dead."
He'd sooner cut me off than deal with the unknown,
Of his son who's both a boy and girl soon to be disowned.
Which is worse?
I walk the halls and glance at everyone I see,
The girls who are hurrying to the bathroom to fix their makeup,
And the boys who check them out as they walk by.
Is there anyone else here who can't go to the bathroom, because I swear to God just the thought of it gives me a small panic attack.
Is there anyone else here who looks down and is disappointed everyday because I am small, chesty and my face is far too round.
I never check out the girls, nor do I run to the bathroom to fix myself,
I walk and look at how much I wish I was one of the guys,
Flat chested, tall, lean and not having to wake up 5 extra minutes to put on a binder.
Never hating that their voice along with their round face will have others calling them "She" for their whole life.
Never will they come home with aching ribs,
and feel the stab of being misgendered.
Never will they be told "but you still look like a girl,"
Even though you are trying so hard that you feel your mind wearing thin.
Why can't I just be what they want me to be?
rant or poem ish thing??
— The End —