its cold outside and i can't sleep because of you keep me addicted to my phone, lonely but not alone its 2am for me, because of these **** timezones letters against a bright screen, squint my eyes against the light my eyes are burning, i think im slowly going blind hopeful messages promising to one day meet up slip that engagement ring onto your finger, a binding promise to find you, see you, kiss you, hold you in my arms, in person
not knowing if the other is perfect
~risking ruining your perception of me
because here behind my screen you think i'm everything
~but im bound to disappoint you like i always do
i want to marry someone ive never met
~is this something i'm going to regret?
i started dating this boy online ive never met irl and idk how this is going to work out but i want this to last... is this an impossible fantasy or no?
The end result of talking to someone who has their read receipts on is the nagging feeling that whatever you said was not worthy of a response.
Your message is just one of many unanswered notifications that when added together equal a red bubble on a screen that gets ignored and forgotten.
Regardless of the meaning behind it - you feel ignored and forgotten.
So why do you still try.
Each message you send is like an arrow shot with no ending destination hoping to land near something that resembles some sense of stability before shooter loses their balance.
Each moment between messages drags longer and longer while think, “please turn from delivered to read”
You know they’re just busy.
So you wait a few hours, no response in sight. So, like a fool, you cast out a new arrow, as if you have an endless supply.
And you watch within minutes their name hits the screen, because your existence is remembered. So you quickly respond as to hold their attention that you have been craving all day. But that’s all you are going to get.
Because as much as you want to think you are someone special
You’re just a blip. Nothing more than a name on a screen that just gets swiped away. Just a number in a little red bubble waiting to be remembered.
I've been staring at the word "online" under your contact name for the past hour its staring back at me I'm desperately waiting for a reply (nothing) i let jealousy take me over because I know you're texting her instead of me.