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Justin I forgive you, won’t you call me, your birthday must be coming soon we haven’t spoken since we moved our family into the desert. I just pray you’re not seeking cotton fever yet again, chasing the dragon, or at the very least eating school buses while falling into ‘H’ before you find yourself in bed drunk again, and on Ambien too. Dead too soon. You’ve always wondered why I didn’t introduce you to Ryan, my other incredibly dear and brotherly friend. Well wonder none more, he’s in a padded room at Mt. Sinai in Lakeview or perhaps Northwestern’s adult care unit, there was talk or at least I imagined he could make it to Lakeside Manor right there East of Foster. So it’s clemency, peace of mind, and something to loosen the edge off your back, something to let you fall, something to set your pain at weightless your mind at I-Don’t-Have-To-Give-A-****-Anymore, my friend where have you been? Where have you taken yourself? Please drag yourself back at least a half-step, reverse your position and engineer an out please. I can’t begin to accept losing both of my brothers to two versions of the same disease.
Lucid dreams echoing through endless nights relentlessly reminding the fact that the day that the tireless heart stops,
is not so far.
worlds within
and without are all waning
the void
which sat between heavens
heavens splitting the waters
the waters, the weeds
create living geometries

etch-a-sketch drawings
of silent mandalas

now the dreamweaver
now the lucid unwaking ones
who appear at your bedside
disdaining your closet

while you lie
hypnogogically paralyzed
their eyes burning green
freeze your skies


trapped in misogamy
flying through tattered air
****** off this oxygen
burned by the stare
of a mirror
Written ca. 2006
m h John Jul 27
i feel more alive
in the scenes
of my dreams
than i do in reality,
i feel her gold leaf touch
ripple through my veins
while i call out her name
until she comes to me
and i can see her face
clear as day
before i’m able
to pull her close
i feel myself
float out of the
colored scenes of my dreams
and back into
the black and white
of my reality
Cradled in the dream catcher,
I am in epiphany.
Tangled, but floating freely;
In a place no one can see me.

Convinced I’m the witch doctor,
Sent to Earth with two healing hands:
One to nurture fellow man,
The other to tend kindly to the land.

Two fish and the archer
Stand beside the sun and the moon,
And I am between the two
Dancing with memory and deja vu.

The yin yang fish swim infinity
Around me and whisper in my ear
Soul secrets to hold dear,
Prediction for every day of the year.

The yarn floor caves in, I
Free fall through the black hole,
Feeling exhausted but full,
With promise of being made whole.
CL Fjell Jun 10
The waking world feels false
My dreams are much better
Than reality. Even the bad dreams
Have so much more good
Than reality. Even the bad dreams
Make me much happier
Than reality. Even the bad dreams
Scare me much less
Than reality; Even the bad dreams
Are only bad
We are all dreamers
in a world of slumber.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
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