He woke up early and began to pray. The same way he began each day. He held back tears and fought off fears; his heart told him just what to say.
His life thus far had rocky roads. His back was bent neath heavy loads. He had no joy; no rest or peace. His constant pain would never cease.
There was no hope; no love in sight. No dawn to end his pitch-dark night. Yet somehow still he soldiered on; his prayer became his marching song.
Coming back home meant
Returning to the feelings
The ones that I left behind
To get rid of you
Even if it was for a few days
I felt so free and so alive
You weren’t on my mind
I was stress free
But as I came closer to home
I felt a shadow over me
All the troubles I left behind
Suddenly found me
And as I finally was home
I found myself missing you
But I know it’s not meant to be
I wish it was...
Yesterday I enjoyed life without you
And today I missed you more than ever
Tomorrow I’ll want you back
Upon a case
Of pure white
Spiral for miles
Ultimately through darkness
Away from the boxes
Of all things best forgotten
Trials and tribulations
To occupy time
While feet face more steps
In the perilous climb
To the light
Spillage of gold
From the hole
In the ground
Up into a night
A starry ceiling
Black painted sky
With lights trinkling down
This beautiful wallpaper
Of leaves and time
This is based on a meditation I did today. Aka I got tired of writing *** trash.
all of the troubles in my head started to pile.
i had to get away for a little while
so i took the train down to carlisle
because for a second i forgot how to smile.
The nickname given to my mother from her mother in law
Truly a befitting one
My mother, the woman who tries so hard, intelligent, yet still, occasionally a child
A strong, strong woman
Trying to accommodate everyone
Thankfully our move has provided some much needed personal space
Otherwise, she’d already have her hair out by now
Her parents with their obsessive religious rituals, must make sweets tomorrow even when they get wasted
Her mother in law, dripping waves of anxiety like a leaky faucet
Soon to become a waterfall
Weak as a newborn chick
From surgery and culminating stubbornness about to explode
Her 10 year old truant son,
Not only does he need to be shuttled places
Also insists upon watching YouTube at every available hour
At least I can drive and stay out of her way
At least I can provide hugs, be a listening ear, and do my best to be considerate
But my rebellious nature
Peeks through as well
my mother is.
i'm standing pale legged at the video store
the Friday's all coming to meet at this exact location
like a montage ready to collect and gather information
and then parting ways, moving into the local subways
crossing the veins of the city in vain waiting for an optimal stop
that allows them to step off into the sunlight
and greet fate standing under the crowded street light
ushering an invitation with sweaty hands as they collapse fully drenched
I can feel the air conditioning escaping the room
can tell from the way people are passing by, that this pause won't keep and I inch towards the old case that holds the movie Thirteen
the girls with the studded tongues stare back at me and I am a mutant, unrecognizable in that gaze but still there's something that makes me bite my fingernails like trying to de-understand
the floor is gum stained and the lights are so neon I think I can fall in love forever
my shoelace is untied and the man behind the restricted area with the dark curtains coughs twice and I think
that the aisles continue even after you leave
a note on certain properties
Season melting into my arms
My sentimentality is not a product of my hope
which still prevails
though the weather ties me back
The cold of the backstage walls
brings me comfort
connects me to a memory
It becomes glorious to remember.
a present wind is pleasant
so long as it doesn't sting
But to feel the waves of matter
slipping through the creases
soothing the cracks of old troubles
It is everything to breathe
the spring of 2018 brings back some terrible, terrible memories. now that time is passing, i hope this peaceful feeling is a result of time, and not a re-experience of that old false hope.
With all the troubles around me
There is a pattern that surrounds me
At a point when it all weighed down
I couldnt breathe, it was a mind drown.
Then isnt life about the suffering?
Things that bring happiness also come blustering.
Fullfilments of Expectations are a fantasy
We hold too much on wants that are not thought rationally.
This world is a field of alchemy
Its in your hands to not make your pain into a tragedy
But it is in HIS hands to turn your affliction and give you purity
In ways you cannot concieve, just thank for eternity.
Just a ghost or a ghoul when I needed you most.
I'm suffering emotional withdrawal and you was never that close.
Ive heard of cruel to be kind but never cruel to be cruel.
You will never be blood of mine you silly old fool.
Happy Father's Day <3
Still alive but dead to me...
has its puddles.
has their troubles.
has its struggles.
No matter what you face
in your path,
you can still rise up
Go on! You're strong! :)