What does it mean
to be better
First I smiled
then I sighed
Back then I asked myself
Does better feel like what I feel now?

Numb

The answer is no
I fell back into old ways
Wanting to get better
I had nothing to aim for
Still as clueless as before about what is meant

I look in the mirror
and laugh
Still clueless

Have I gotten better?
No
I've gotten worse

Now
I'm more clueless
Do I want to get better?

Good question