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I'm trying to act like a normal person.
I'm trying to act like my mentality is stable.
I'm trying to act like I am happy.
I'm trying to push away depression.
I'm trying.
I'm getting nowhere.
Is my trying good enough?
Our am I not trying hard enough?
Nik Bland Jan 21
Some days
She finds
Self-destruct switch
A life
Her own
But different

The steps
She takes
So delicate
As not to
Still leave
In living room

But better
Are craters
Of shrapnel
Than to be
Feet embedded
In a place
Where she
Only vacancy
Katherine Jan 14
I want to tell you about compassion,
But I don’t have any.
I hear it’s about selflessness and sacrifice,
About feeling bad
About suffering and relief,
About making yourself feel better
Through helping others.

I want to tell you about love,
But I don’t have any.
I thought I might have, once, but I scared it off
I thought it was about smiles, laughter and hope
But I hear it’s about ***
About skin and narrowed eyes
About making yourself feel better
Through touching others.

I want to tell you about pain,
But I don’t have any.
At least I don’t anymore
Because they’ve taken care of that.
I hear they’ve got a lot of stuff
I hear it’s about hormones and habits
About vitamins and sadness
About making yourself feel better
Through chemicals.

I want to tell you about me,
But I don’t have any.
I was something, and now I’m not,
And I haven’t decided what I’ll be next.
I hear it’s about dreams,
About ambition and drive,
About what I want to do and how,
About making yourself feel better
Through limiting regrets.

I want to tell you about life,
But I don’t have any of that, either.
I hear it’s about being good and making choices
And having preferences in the first place.
About growing up
And growing in
About making yourself feel better
Through acting.
I get tired smiling
Facing them beaming
Acting like a ray of the sun
Feeling like the tear of the clouds

Just wanna burst in tears
Just wanna shout my fears
But they need my beaming smile
And not my crying eyes
staysha Dec 2018
Jars are everywhere
Hair in *****
Ventilator next to hair drier
Syringe next to lip stick
Ashtray and alcohol
Red lipstick stain on the mirror
Tissues on the floor
Scissors and extensions
Wigs galore
An unfinished letter
Stained with teardrops and blood
A poem called
The ending never written
Never to be written
A vase of roses
A note on a card
“Sorry about the loss!”
Cards on the window sill
Get well soon
Happy valentines day
I love you
We miss you
They read never to be looked at again by their intended reader
Broken glass
Empty wine bottle
Hole in the wall
Bruised lady cold on the bed
Blue going up her arm like the lace around the hem
Of the dazzling dress she wore
That night
The night she was diagnosed Cancer free
Back to the stage
But only for a night
Kate Pruneau Nov 2018
So that they aren't scared

So that they don't feel hurt

To give them a second chance

So that they're easier to use

So that they feel heard

So that I'm not alone
she remains anon Nov 2018
The Actor,
he thinks he’s funny.
Throws around cheap jokes,
has lots of money.
Plays hearts
like he plays old music.
Calls you a part,
of his fever dream world.
You see,
actors they’re good at pretending
you’re the only one that means
Peek out under tinted glasses
at girls;
sweet as molasses.
The thing is
a show only lasts a few seasons
so prepare to be a part of his.
For just as long.
if you like this poem, please check out the others in my “Artists” collection. thanks!!
Justus Chan Oct 2018
a flawed character in a musical
filled with ear-piercing songs
and the craze of beer and wine
and uncomplicated mess

despised and alone
creating mischief while no one but
the audience look on
and creating drama from the driest of

casted to be
cast out of the limelight
it slyly adds itself to the plot
wrecking death and horror in its wake
the backdrop a mess of red jewels

internally bleeding out lines
that attack the audience as they are
handed the ***** scripts
and they listen in glee to the
dead, screeching violins

it dances on the stage
clacking of tap shoes a sweet,
satisfying sound that claws at the ear
the heart savouring all there is

the rain breaks through the roof
of the bloodied theatre
****** under dark clouds
as eggs of gold are thrown and
splatter in a flourish and a bow

the clapping of hands as the
orchestra plays the dirges and
distasteful tunes
a spectacle for the ages
and it sinks backstage in
preparation for its next tour
rebecca Oct 2018
My life was quite dark
but then the golden curtains opened and Act Two began
with it's first remark
Purcy Flaherty Jan 2018
I see you!
You’re a chancer, an unusual impulsive, persuasive & promiscuous women; unconcerned with remorse or guilt!
You’ve created a life & career through crazy schemes and dreams!
You have a certain glib, superficial charm and an impressive sense of self-worth and I liked that !
If only you’d had the ***** to formally introduce me to the genuine you, without fear of rejection!
You Fool!
A stark reminder of just how far you penetrated my heart & mind!
I have a soft spot for you,
but your hearts as cold as ice.
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