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1d · 35
Disappoint
I think about calling you
But I know it would only disappoint
“Hey, what’s up—your friends not home?
Why are you calling me on the phone?”
I’d lie and say I just had time to waste
Went from my safest place to saving face
And it’s sad
Sad I no longer know you like that
7.2020
Jul 25 · 304
New Scene
I'll reinvent myself
Doesn't mean I'm trying to be someone else
Just because you haven't seen
This side of me
It feels good, it feels clean
Even if it feels a little foreign to me
Your fingerprints aren’t all over everything
07.25.2020
Jul 2 · 145
Our Song
Turned the radio off
When breakup songs came on
Because you couldn’t face the fact
That they sounded like us
7.2.20
Jun 28 · 89
Secrets
I didn't know my steps would show that deeply
I didn't know they would be so permanent
For everyone to see

Looking for a place without any people
But the more I look, the more I see them
So I turned around

What is the meaning of a line if you don't know who drew it?
Can it really break your heart if you never really knew them?
I don't know

If I have my heart, you can't break it
But if I want to give it to you I've already committed it
Heart break, isn't that a sad way to die?

Why are you running?
It's like you're racing the ocean to the other side
Don't you know it's already there, you've fallen behind

What's the point of trying to win a race that is lost?
Don't tell me you don't believe in miracles
Because they're all we've got

If you wake up every morning to run away from the same thing
After turning back yesterday, admitting defeat,
Is it really worth it? It sounds so miserable

But I wake up every day trying not to love you
Hoping one day I'll lose feelings as completely as I lost you
I believe in miracles so one day it will be true

What's everybody running from?
Sure you don't want to tell your secrets, that's alright I can read them In your footsteps
2012
Jun 23 · 187
Cheers
Here's to you potential and all of your prospects
The future you don't want me to be a part of
It's a lot harder
Getting started
I'm letting go of so much more than you it seems
Letting go of a million possibilities
The dreams I had for you and me
06.2020
Jun 23 · 204
The Saddest Thing
Did you ever imagine
That this would be our legacy
Not the laughter
Not the love
Not the California dream
But the saddest thing to happen to me
04.2020
Jun 18 · 117
Potential
My father told me not to waste my heart
On a man's potential to one day become a work of art
You have to love them just as they are
06.17.2020
Jun 16 · 194
Miss Trust
You’ve obviously proven that you can’t be trusted
Said our love’s forever until you had enough of it
Left to convince myself you’re not coming back
Like I convinced myself of the love you had
06.10.20
Jun 13 · 119
Child
He looked at me
I wasn't sure what his eyes were saying
In my heart I was praying
But I didn't know what was happening
Are you lost? I wasn't sure
I couldn't remember what I was doing it for
I hope it was worth it
The sweat, tears and blood
He looked at me and said,
"Child you worry too much"

Maybe you're right
Maybe that's the point of this dark night
That you were in it with me the whole time
You were glorious and I fell short
He looked at me and said,
"Child that's what my love is for"
Jun 13 · 255
Love Pattern
If the pattern's unpredictable
What can I depend on
What does it mean to need someone
As far as I can tell
I don't even need myself
My heart doesn't beat because I say so
It beats for its creator
It beats because that's what it was made for
I tried to follow reason
It only took me so long
To see that all creation
Begins with the uncreated one
After the hypothesis and details
It was pretty simple
Our sin broke the system
And still your love persisted
That I never could have predicted
10.25.2018
Is this what it is
To change your mind
Change everything you are
Change space and time
I used to be where you are
Now you'll just be on my mind
You changed yours
And it changed mine
6.12.2020
Jun 10 · 94
Seeking to Understand
Was our love just young and dumb or was it right
Were you brave or afraid when you suddenly changed your mind
06.09.2020
Jun 9 · 383
Moving Forward
Less time just dreaming
Less time overthinking
Less time rereading
Less time receding
Less time reminiscing
Less time revisiting
Less time missing
More time living
06.09.2020
Jun 8 · 107
Twilight
The remaining question only time will answer
Is it now you're asleep, or when we were together
I wish I could know, have you finally awakened
Do you look back on our love and feel you were mistaken
Or is your realest self who you were with me
And you have now succumbed to an unfortunate dream
That will one day end with the realization
That you've been in a fog, that is yet to be shaken
I could ask a million questions of who, how, or why
But there is only one question plaguing my mind
Is this your state of twilight
Or was I
06.08.2020
Jun 6 · 457
Questionable
Do you know me?
Do you love me?
Will you leave me?
I've learned they can all be true equally
You can know me, love me all the way through
But it doesn't mean a thing if you don't know you
06.03.2020
May 26 · 347
California Dream
An endless summer, a California dream
Would've meant nothing without you there setting the scene
I counted up a list of all the things that meant the most to me
And the list added up to be
143
11.19
May 23 · 193
False Representation
I wish that I could meet the me inside your head
I don't think I'd like the things that she says
I wish I could erase the stencil of me you traced
Free your mind to see a different shape
I would deconstruct the shadow that has taken my place
And help you see the real me that has somehow been replaced
Paint a new and clearer picture, however long it takes
I want to stay until you see her, however high the stakes
5.22.2020
May 20 · 241
Scariest Place
No ring, no real commitment to me
I think almost engaged must be the scariest place to be
Wondering did I fall to quickly
Or are you right here with me
05.19.20
May 20 · 370
No Escape
Two years of happy to be sad for my whole life
It's not a trade I would have made had I known at the time
You never really meant a word you'd say
Convince me of your love
Just so you can walk away
Walk away just to find there's no escape
05.19.20
May 17 · 246
Destination TBD
The tears in my eyes
Blur the street lights
As I realize you and I
Were just a drive by
05.17.2020
May 15 · 293
Dead to Me
May 8 · 361
GEG
GEG
The same place I first told you I loved you
And where it all came crumbling down
Is the last place I saw you now

Different occasions, same parking garage
Where you expanded and shattered my heart
Tell me how did we get this far

On Christmas Eve I missed my flight
Because I took too long saying good bye
Part of me must have known it would be the last time

If you think of me tonight, if you think of me at all
I hope you remember me strong
I hope you remember that I
Will love you my whole life
4.2020
May 6 · 118
If Only
Were you lost, were you gone?
Were you somewhere else at the time?
Not around, leaving town?
If only the timing was right
Maybe then we would've been fine

You protecting a friend?
Is that why you wouldn't call me for months on end?
Too scared to make sense?
Always afraid to get hurt again
But if not now then when?

Were you busy being cool?
Baby who you trying to fool?
Didn't know who to choose?
Somebody making you lose your mind,
The way that you're making me lose mine?
5.5.2020
May 6 · 179
Item Not Found
May 6 · 154
Alibi
Quit the "if only"s
Say that you want me
Baby we ain't got the time
No more excuses
Baby let's choose us
It could be the time of our lives
I'd rather regret you than regret my alibi
5.5.2020
May 6 · 116
Medical School
I did it
I got in
And just like that
I can see my future again
5.5.2020
May 5 · 235
Dancing in the Stars
A spark in my eye, a spark in your heart
I've never seen you brighter, though we're so far apart
This midnight blue, such a pleasant hue
Swimming about every outline of you
What a beautiful sight, carefree in the night
An endless ocean of space for me to bask in your light
Igniting my soul, blazing to the touch
Loving you from afar, a blessing and curse to feel this much
5.5.2020
May 4 · 283
Aftermath
You texted me in February
From 23 hundred miles away
2 years to 1 line
Happy birthday
Meanwhile your 21st
Is written in ink on my Grandma's calendar
5.3.2020
Apr 24 · 332
Countless
A secret I like to keep
One I hold all my own
How often you cross my mind
Only I get to know
4.24.2020
Apr 23 · 234
Hemingway
He was all charisma, curls, and commitment issues
And ****** I fell for it
4/22/2020
Apr 18 · 181
Too Much
I never really wanted you to call me every day
I wanted you to want to
And that's why it was too much to ask of you
04.18.2020
Apr 17 · 208
Amarsi Un Po
I don't think there is anything more selfish
Than telling someone you love them,
But that you don't want to be with them

Less a matter of self control
More a matter of which self you loved more
Mine or yours
4.17.2020
Apr 15 · 170
Our Love
Take me back to LACMA when I knew I had ya
The lights made it feel like happy ever after
Sneaking in to swim in fancy hotels
Acting OC like we're staying there ourselves

You would drive miles just to see me smile
Windows down, music loud, worries far behind us
Curled up in your passenger seat
With my head on your shoulder and your hand on my knee

To the lookout in Laguna I found before I knew ya
It never had a better view than dancing there with you
Took me to the Wedge for our very first date
Had a long way to go but we were on our way

Jump the bridge into the water, Via Lido
Then we'll go to the drive in theater
Walk around the island calling houses yours and mine
Park on Cliff Drive if we can ever find it

A thousand steps down to reach that shore
Strolling Abbot Kinney, a thousand things we can't afford
I don't really know what we looking for
But we found love in the Last Bookstore

Valentines Days at Urth Cafes
Cake at Turtle Rock for our best friends' birthdays
Laughing at the things that just didn't make sense
Like how we never, ever felt the Santa Ana winds

Laventina's, In-n-Out, call it controversial
But I'm not going to Del Taco
Inspiration point till early in the morning
Disneyland fireworks had us Soarin'

I've never known another love like this
Someone take me back to Tower 56
Someone take me back to Tower 56
Baby our love is written all over it
4.15.2020
Apr 15 · 669
56 Bliss
Leave your shoes in the car I got the blanket and the keys
Watching stars on a beach there's nothing else we need
Wind in our hair, salt on our lips
Someone take me back to Tower 56

Remember the night of our very first kiss
Driving round town knowing better than the others did
Didn't have a care what anyone would say
Went from you and me to we driving PCH
4.14.2020
Apr 15 · 209
California Dream
Sunset Boulevard
You drove that street like you drove me wild
You looked at me and said baby
Whatever happens, we'll always have it
The West Coast love others only imagine

Newport, we crashed your car
Scar on my knee, forever in my heart
You looked at me, I said baby
Whatever happens, we'll always have it
A love even steadier than LA traffic
4.14.2020
Apr 8 · 289
Magic
We've burned enough bridges
I think it's time we fix it
I'm afraid to reach out and find you feel indifferent
Would you want to live in a world again
Where you and I are more than friends

I keep coming back to this
Cause baby it was magic
If there's such a thing as good love we had it
Maybe I don't know if it was good enough
But baby I still know it was a good, good love
4.5.2020
Apr 7 · 973
Summer Night
The moon was big
And our love was bigger
I said anywhere you go
I would go with ya
Because I love the moon
But it looks better when I'm with you
4.6.2020
Apr 7 · 161
Triangle
He thinks I'm worth waiting for
I think he's worth waiting for
4.7.2020
Apr 6 · 167
Savior
What my hands should’ve felt
You took on yourself
When they strapped to the cross
The maker himself
12.24.2017
Apr 6 · 351
Exhausting
I miss the way you look at me
When I’m doing nothing but breathing
The way your lips find mine
Under every single red light
The way it takes hours just to say goodnight
When I was too nervous to hold you like I wanted to
Because I was afraid of what it might make me want to do
And I could write about how I’m terrified, because I am
But all I can think about is how happy I feel when you’re holding my hand
How you told me you’d be mine as long as I wanted you
Like you see a day coming when my “I love you” won’t be true
But right now there’s nothing I want more than to kiss you like I’m meant to
To trace your lips with my fingertips, just admiring the view
I want to lay with my head on your chest
Your hands moving over my skin like no one else is in the room
I remember your hair, how it gets red in the summer
And what it looks like dripping wet just out of the shower
You mean a lot to me I hope you know
And I didn’t know what to do with how sad I felt driving home
Knowing you won’t be there and I still won’t see you for a month
Knowing you’re asleep, 953 miles from me
Missing you is exhausting
6.30.2018
Apr 6 · 336
Lone Traveler
Sitting at a table for one watching the wind
Me alone with my many, many whims
Curry and steamed rice
And jet lag, lagging behind
8.28.2019
Apr 6 · 116
Miscommunication
Call me again to tell me what you’ve sacrificed
How decisions that were yours you somehow say were mine
Tell me that you won’t move to Ohio
Funny I don’t remember when did I ever invite you
2.09.2020
Apr 5 · 219
A Confession
Less of a poem
More of a confession
I wish that we
Were back together
4.5.2020
Apr 3 · 152
Mistaken Identity
Apr 1 · 163
A Letter
If I could write you a letter
It would go something like this
I hope this letter finds you well
I truly hope you're finding bliss

Wrapped in a million other feelings, still my love for you exists
Among other things, it's being in your arms that I miss
How they used to comfort me
When we weren't separated by distance

It seems fitting that the last time I saw you was in an airport
The place where we had already shed so many tears before
But this goodbye was different
And I felt it in my core

I think that's why I cried for an hour
Sitting in your car
I could tell that when you said we'd be alright
Even you weren't really sure

As you wiped my tears away, I knew you didn't want to stay
It took you another month to admit it
But you eventually said the same
I lie awake sometimes thinking of other things I wish you'd say

"I still love you."
"I still want you."
"I'm sorry that I caused you all this pain."
Words I'll never hear and that has to be okay
4.1.2020
Apr 1 · 311
Dream Girl
You said I was perfect
And you meant every word of it
Like a design-your-own character, I fit your every preference
My blue eyes, my bowed lips, my eyelashes
My rib cage, small enough for you to hold
You told me you loved my every curve
How my skin was just pale enough to complement yours
My height, my legs, my voice your favorite in the world
My brownish blond hair that you loved to twirl

I suppose for me, you weren't far off
Six feet tall, lean, but strong
A laugh that made me sad when I didn't hear it for too long
Dark brown curls that turned red with the season
You grew your hair out for me, but I'll never get to see it
You said I was your dream
But you weren't mine
Because the one that I dream of
Will never say goodbye
4.1.2020
Mar 31 · 229
More
Why do I always love
More people than I should
03.31.2020
Mar 31 · 366
Nothing in Your Way
In my head you still love me
Yet are somehow kept at bay
It hits me like cold water
That there's nothing in your way
03/31/2020
Mar 31 · 143
Brown Hair
Brown hair
I miss when you cared
3/31/2020
Mar 27 · 425
Also True
I moved on pretty fast
Cause at the time it just made sense
He loved me quite a lot
He was everything you're not
Said he'd marry me right now
And that he's looking at a house
I no longer want you back
It's true I'm over it by now
And while I'm happy it's also true
That I miss you

I loved you quite a while
It's like you're written in my soul
And while I don't love you anymore
It's still a process letting go
You know I'd keep you in my life
But you just wouldn't have a role
How could we be friends and nothing more
When we've been in love before
And it can make sense and we can be sure
And it still hurts
03.26.2020
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