The drops are so much deeper, and the highs aren't high at all. Ongoing expectant measures listed, of these persistent calls to pressure. To fill a frame that's drained, when switching off is no longer an option. Are these real problems or signs of age?
Before was easier, yesterday simpler, but would the early days help to mould, when you've already grown from there. Late observations of missed play, a rug pull calls out the fool to vacate. As we're a little bitter in vain, there's no sweetness today.
We've all imagined Wedding dresses and vails growing up losing our pig-tails and overalls trading them in for beach waves and crop tops only for the person in our Reflection to turn into a complete s t r a n g e r
staring blank faced at a girl you can't recognize anymore drawing imaginary lines on our bodies with our eyes cutting away the imperfections with our hands shaped as scissors,
wishing we could look like the models in the magazines or the actresses on the tv screens But, society tells us we can Never be Skinny enough Never be Pretty enough That our features will NEVER be Good e n o u g h
Because the girl in the mirror who has lost all hope can Never amount to what we have been taught from the time we could walk and talk what beautiful is;
We went from carefree children to teens who are depressed and anxious all the time most of us addicted to Nicotine and Alcohol our parents tell us to smile and quit with the attitudes but behind closed doors we criticize ourselves enough
The little girl in her pigtails playing with everyone on the playground so innocent so pure get labeled as a racist in the 6th grade because her skin is white
By the time she enters high school she knows better than to state an opinion, the teachers know Best, never stand up to a man, he's superior to you, even when behind the closed doors he touches you when you say STOP but you know better than to say something cause you had to have wanted it, take it as a compliment, it just means you're pretty
if you say anything you'll be labeled as a W h o r e if you keep quiet it's an invitation for M o r e
people asking "why do you flinch at a simple touch?" how do you explain years of torment to a complete s t r a n g e r, you don't, you smile and act dumb
pretty is a vocabulary word to describe anyone but the girl that is seen in the mirror because she is Not Good e n o u g h and she knows that
she has lost friends cause she can't trust them
she changes her style monthly
trying sooo hard just to be accepted she doesn't remember the little girl in pigtails, she doesn't remember what a real smile looks like, the pain behind her eyes c l o u d s her reality the voice in her head telling her "you're eating too much" "you're an idiot" "you'll never amount to anything" and she s l o w l y fades away til there is nothing left to put back together cause her mind and heart are s c a t t e r e d aimlessly shes numb and she thinks, this is what happiness feels like no more pain no more criticizing No, more pretending to be okay