I love your brown eyes
Sometimes they keep me up at night
You see mud, but baby I see home
The safe warm earth where our family can grow
I've seen them angry, erratic
Full of faith, passionate
Wider when you're listening
When you smile so big they start to squint
Yeah I've never been more sure
I hope some of our babies have eyes like yours

Leave your shoes in the car I got the blanket and the keys
Watching stars on a beach there's nothing else we need
Wind in our hair, salt on our lips
Someone take me back to Tower 56

Remember the night of our very first kiss
Driving round town knowing better than the others did
Didn't have a care what anyone would say
Went from you and me to we driving PCH

I knew him 63 days
We'd been together for five
But he was never one to be afraid to speak his mind

He told me that he loved me that drive
Taking me home for the summer
That we'd spend apart each night

He said he loved the way I kissed him
We started out over long distance, I tried so hard to make sense of it
The way my heart was feeling things without my permission

It's funny now to talk about those first days
When we couldn't hang out because of your roommate
You asked him how he'd feel about you taking me out on a date

We went to the sunset but we didn't watch it
Too busy talking with our hands on each other
It was clear to me then that we were in trouble

You said I'm the only girl that you'd called baby
I said you're the first guy that I let taste me
I don't even know what we were really saying

I had one hand in your hair and one on your chest
You looked at me and said you didn't want nobody else
I said don't say it if you don't mean it

I knew on the day you picked me up from the airport
In your ripped blue jeans and your dark, black t-shirt
You were someone that I actually cared for

We were both young, but you were younger
Something that I often even forgot of
Must have been the way you talked to my father

Or maybe what you said when you left for the summer

You said I was perfect
And you meant every word of it
Like a design-your-own character, I fit your every preference
My blue eyes, my bowed lips, my eyelashes
My rib cage, small enough for you to hold
You told me you loved my every curve
How my skin was just pale enough to complement yours
My height, my legs, my voice your favorite in the world
My brownish blond hair that you loved to twirl

I suppose for me, you weren't far off
Six feet tall, lean, but strong
A laugh that made me sad when I didn't hear it for too long
Dark brown curls that turned red with the season
You grew your hair out for me, but I'll never get to see it
You said I was your dream
But you weren't mine
Because the one that I dream of
Will never say goodbye

The moon was big
And our love was bigger
I said anywhere you go
I would go with ya
Because I love the moon
But the view is better sitting next to you

I've built you up in my head
I think I love you more now than I ever did
Curse of a hopeful person
In the form of a hopeless romantic

I just want to kiss you again
Feel the closeness of your face and the pressure of your lips
When you touched them to my forehead and gently just left them
Because you were in no rush and it felt somehow protective
I want to look in your eyes and kiss your laugh lines
I want you to hold me and say stay a while
To feel the ridge on your tongue where you bite it too much
Be overwhelmed by the security and the warmth of your touch
Was it as captivating for you, do you feel the same glow
You said that it was slow, that it was wonderful
Only two days in my life that I've kissed you
How many more will I miss you

Two years of happy to be sad for my whole life
It's not a trade I would have made had I known at the time
You never really meant a word you'd say
Convince me of your love
Just so you can walk away
Walk away just to find there's no escape

My hopes were higher than the tide was

He was all charisma, curls, and commitment issues
And ****** I fell for it

You say they didn't owe you anything
But they owed you human decency
Commitment or not, they owed respect to your dignity
To feel hurt doesn't say anything of fragility
It speaks of your strength to access vulnerability
You are not naive for getting involved
For trying to plant hope in a soul who had none
Your sensitivity should not be a target for deceit
I admire your boldness to share your beliefs
To take your heart off the shelf where it had been healing
To see the light that darkness works so hard concealing
When you were younger you used to be so cautious
Afraid to love in case that you lost it
I'm glad you took the risk, though you feel exhausted
I'm glad you freed your heart from the cage it was locked in
But you used to have such high standards, I think you've forgotten
That you deserve more than to be left feeling unwanted
You fear that your expectation is unreachable
But is it possible it exists, you've just yet to meet them
Your fear to hope and your fear to be alone
In a never ending struggle at each others' throats
You've always worked for the things that you want
Enjoyed the process of overcoming a difficult start
In life and relationships always willing to work hard
Don't be so addicted to the battle you seek war in your heart
Being enticed by a challenge won't get you very far
You're afraid if its too easy that it can't be trusted
If you don't have to work for it, how do you know that you want it?
But some things can't be won over, no matter how diligent
No matter the age, the timing, or distance
Your love can't be heard by someone who won't listen
So you can keep on being afraid
As long as you commit to always be brave
And know that what you have to say is worth saying
The love you have to give is worth all the waiting
And will one day lead you to someone amazing

With all the glow
Of San Francisco
Lighting up your face
Highlighting in lightning
Every word you say
I heard it then
Clear as day
“Something’s coming.”
Don’t forget it
Don’t you dare neglect it
And by God may you never try to perfect it

I can see the pattern now as time goes on
To you I was reduced to just another blonde
But it took me twenty years to finally love someone
And I don't think you realized how rare that was

I'll give this dress a new occasion
Maybe then it won't feel so painful
When I see you with her again

I'll fill these picture frames that are vacant
With new memories you haven't tainted
And I'll convince myself you've changed

I'll plan a new trip to San Diego
So I no longer think about graduation
When our families went on vacation

I'll walk away from the future that we painted
Redirect my destination
And I'll watch you become a stranger

Two world travelers, one small town
Unfinished people, unfinished house
More thoughts in my head than I should probably say out loud

Sitting there at your kitchen table
Writing backstories for all your neighbors
Talking about the things that we want to be famous for

Funny how I barely know ya
Sitting there in your Patagonia
Envisioning a world with the both of us

We've burned enough bridges
I think it's time we fix it
I'm afraid to reach out and find you feel indifferent
Would you want to live in a world again
Where you and I are more than friends

I keep coming back to this
Cause baby it was magic
If there's such a thing as good love we had it
Maybe I don't know if it was good enough
But baby I still know it was a good, good love

Caught in the crossfire of two men's love
Insecure, selfish, and helpless
Only my blood

Windows down
I'm back in town
Ocean in my hair it's only been an hour
Laugh and cry drives friends talking 'bout our lives now
Favorites play off the LANY album

Here's to you potential and all of your prospects
The future you don't want me to be a part of
It's a lot harder
Getting started
I'm letting go of so much more than you it seems
Letting go of a million possibilities
The dreams I had for you and me

The you that I miss doesn't exist

No ring, no real commitment to me
I think almost engaged must be the scariest place to be
Wondering did I fall to quickly
Or are you right here with me

I did it
I got in
And just like that
I can see my future again

The head is more easily understood than the heart
One person in control
Things are clearer
No love
Two careers

A secret I like to keep
One I hold all my own
How often you cross my mind
Only I get to know

I wish that I could meet the me inside your head
I don't think I'd like the things that she says
I wish I could erase the stencil of me you traced
Free your mind to see a different shape
I would deconstruct the shadow that has taken my place
And help you see the real me that has somehow been replaced
Paint a new and clearer picture, however long it takes
I want to stay until you see her, however high the stakes

I think about calling you
But I know it would only disappoint
“Hey, what’s up—your friends not home?
Why are you calling me on the phone?”
I’d lie and say I just had time to waste
Went from my safest place to saving face
And it’s sad
Sad I no longer know you like that

Take me back to LACMA when I knew I had ya
The lights made it feel like happy ever after
Sneaking in to swim in fancy hotels
Making them believe we were staying there ourselves

You would drive miles just to see me smile
Windows down, music loud, worries far behind us
Curled up in your passenger seat
With my head on your shoulder and your hand on my knee

To the lookout in Laguna I found before I knew ya
It never had a better view than dancing there with you
Took me to the Wedge for our very first date
Had a long way to go but we were on our way

Jump the bridge into the water, Via Lido
Then we'll go to the drive in theater
Walk around the island calling houses yours and mine
Park on Cliff Drive if we can ever find it

A thousand steps down to reach that shore
Strolling Abbot Kinney, a thousand things we can't afford
I don't really know what we looking for
But we found love in the Last Bookstore

Valentines Days at Urth Cafes
Cake at Turtle Rock for our best friends' birthdays
Laughing at the things that just didn't make sense
Like how we never, ever felt the Santa Ana winds

Laventina's, In-n-Out, call it controversial
But I'm not going to Del Taco
Inspiration point till early in the morning
Disneyland fireworks had us Soarin'

I've never known another love like this
Someone take me back to Tower 56
Someone take me back to Tower 56
Baby our love is written all over it

An endless summer, a California dream
Would've meant nothing without you there setting the scene
I counted up a list of all the things that meant the most to me
And the list added up to be
143

I miss the way you look at me
When I’m doing nothing but breathing
The way your lips find mine
Under every single red light
The way it takes hours just to say goodnight
When I was too nervous to hold you like I wanted to
Because I was afraid of what it might make me want to do
And I could write about how I’m terrified, because I am
But all I can think about is how happy I feel when you’re holding my hand
How you told me you’d be mine as long as I wanted you
Like you see a day coming when my “I love you” won’t be true
But right now there’s nothing I want more than to kiss you like I’m meant to
To trace your lips with my fingertips, just admiring the view
I want to lay with my head on your chest
Your hands moving over my skin like no one else is in the room
I remember your hair, how it gets red in the summer
And what it looks like dripping wet just out of the shower
You mean a lot to me I hope you know
And I didn’t know what to do with how sad I felt driving home
Knowing you won’t be there and I still won’t see you for a month
Knowing you’re asleep, 953 miles from me
Missing you is exhausting

For all the things you took
I think you gave much more
This I will always have
That I have known love before

I thank both you and myself
For letting you in
Not a day goes by
I wish that I didn’t

The only thing worse
Than feeling love’s loss
Would be to have left this life
Not knowing love at all