I think about calling you But I know it would only disappoint “Hey, what’s up—your friends not home? Why are you calling me on the phone?” I’d lie and say I just had time to waste Went from my safest place to saving face And it’s sad Sad I no longer know you like that
Sitting in my silence of solitude, I won't spark a conversation. Won't fight if I'm the exclude, I'll be fine with this isolation. I know I won't become that focal point, For I'm much too afraid I'll disappoint.
I'm not that shy in actuality, mainly just afraid of letting people down
I'm learning a lot Finding out what it means to be loved I'm confused because it's not by the person I thought But I'm trusting that even when I'm surprised, You're not It was exhausting praying for someone who wasn't there Made more difficult by the fact that he didn't care Paid attention just too days too late After I waited two years for that date Nothing you do is pointless But honestly I'm still figuring out what the point was Pushing me to step out in faith Not for an outcome or for the hell of the chase But to realize giving you my heart is never a waste Because what I actually wanted hadn't yet entered the page And the man for me to love was really two years away I'm thankful I didn't give anyone else that part to play I'm thankful that you helped me to wait I think you were teaching me to trust my doubt But to never let it outweigh my faith You gave me a discerning mind as a tool not a weight And a hear that can dream and doesn't like to play it safe So once again, I surrender my heart Putting it in your hands to love you'll have me love Because I've learned that though it can me painful at times You never disappoint
The guilt in my chest. But I can't go back. I know. The future is unhealthy and unstable But the guilt of disappointing everyone that liked us. Do I go back? Fake it all Act like everything is alright to make everyone happy. What do I do....
Life is tough, that’s what they say But they don’t know what it’s like everyday To wake up in the morning and go to school Just so people can test you and prove you’re a fool
The teacher says you obviously didn’t try But they don’t know you go to your room and you cry You did put in the effort, you did your part They just don’t understand that you’re not that smart
Then comes the pressure from mum and dad Who are so clearly disappointed that your grades are bad You are punished and picked on for the rest of the year Because you finally gave up on your future career
That was once so close, but is now so distant However, your parents and teachers are still so insistent It’s hard enough getting up and going to class Without the pressure and expectation that you have to pass
The worst part, however, is not that you’re a disappointment It’s the permanent, never ending embarrassment Of always failing and coming last Of never being good enough, your confidence is dropping fast
Everyone else seems to be doing just fine Their parents are all proud, unlike mine Honestly, I can’t think if a worse place than this When in reality it’s made out as someplace that we should miss
I won’t miss it, I’ll be glad to leave Four years wasted because failure is all I ever received I know it’s my fault and I’m the one to blame I gave up so early because I was ashamed
To my family, I’m a failure, and I’m a failure to myself Everyone’s expectations only damaged my mental health If I ever have kids, I will always try To make sure the fear of failure of never the reason they cry
People need to realize that school’s no longer fun or good Because some of us don’t fit in, although we wish we could