I’ve seen it myself sometimes.
Shooting pool with a Marine I liked, a buddy.
He’s drunk. Always had a ***** problem
and women had disappointed him,
no more than any other man.
Anyway, the only gal in the unit, honest, hard working,
blonde comes into the room. We all
wanted her
I’d shown her my poems, which she’d taken a pass on.

Joe starts teasing her about her tiny ****,
touching them with his cue.
She’s scared. So am I.
Joe’s stronger, faster than me, by a lot, and when he’s drunk
he knows no friend.
How long can I stay silent, I calculate.
What does he have to do before I speak. Speech, none.
If I don’t put him down with the first crack of my cue, I’m done.

Lucky for me she gets away
unharmed, goes back to her room.
I think Joe assumed me and the other guys, by our nervous smiles,
would enjoy a **** tonight.
Men are such chickens,
I can’t speak for women.
You basically hold your breath
your whole life.
Live in a zoo
**** and *****.
And if it comes to that, you’ll ****
on orders, from who?
Another swinging ****
who fears his death.
You’ve got to make every day a good day to die.

Sitting in my silence of solitude,
I won't spark a conversation.
Won't fight if I'm the exclude,
I'll be fine with this isolation.
I know I won't become that focal point,
For I'm much too afraid I'll disappoint.

I'm learning a lot
Finding out what it means to be loved
I'm confused because it's not by the person I thought
But I'm trusting that even when I'm surprised, You're not
It was exhausting praying for someone who wasn't there
Made more difficult by the fact that he didn't care
Paid attention just too days too late
After I waited two years for that date
Nothing you do is pointless
But honestly I'm still figuring out what the point was
Pushing me to step out in faith
Not for an outcome or for the hell of the chase
But to realize giving you my heart is never a waste
Because what I actually wanted hadn't yet entered the page
And the man for me to love was really two years away
I'm thankful I didn't give anyone else that part to play
I'm thankful that you helped me to wait
I think you were teaching me to trust my doubt
But to never let it outweigh my faith
You gave me a discerning mind as a tool not a weight
And a hear that can dream and doesn't like to play it safe
So once again, I surrender my heart
Putting it in your hands to love you'll have me love
Because I've learned that though it can me painful at times
You never disappoint

If the bar is low,
maybe I won't disappoint
you with my failures...

If you place me on a pedestal,
I can’t help but disappoint you;
For no one is infallible,
No one survives unbroken,
No one remains unchanged.

When it all turns to custard,
Who do you blame?
Me for letting you down,
Or yourself for doing the same,
By expecting too much of me.

We deserve better
He doesn't see it now
How he let us down
She will find out
That I was there too
Taking space in his mind
Popping up on his screen
Not trying to be mean
But sis
He was cheating

The guilt in my chest.
But I can't go back.
I know.
The future is unhealthy and unstable
But the guilt of disappointing everyone that liked us.
Do I go back?
Fake it all
Act like everything is alright to make everyone happy.
What do I do....

"Just let me die. I'm so tired of this. These tears won't stop. Why the pain still lives in my heart? I'm so ******* tired..." I understand...
- Ana