we slide off, each in diverging directions with a slant backwards glance—
and I am caught up in your eyes, caught up in the openness of your laugh, inviting me to stay just ten minutes longer in your bed. inviting my lips to speak what yours already know: there is no time for us, but let me drown in you anyway.
we used the right words at the wrong time we were kids, tired of our hometown cranking the heater and writing poetry with our hands in the humidity on your sunroof you'd kiss my fingers and talk about us another us, far from here where we had already spent mornings in bed that faded into quiet afternoons I told you I'd miss you and we left the spaces between us as some kind of divine obliteration I'm forgetting the taste of october and you are learning how to brave the chill of december without the warmth of me
and it's always about the timing or the circumstances it's always an "I'm busy" text message that fades into days of silence it's when you notice how he used to compliment your mind and now he only ever calls you beautiful when you're bare inbetween his sheets and you tell yourself he's just a boy this is what boy's do it will get better but "you're my girl" turns into "I don't think this is working" and you're crying again and you wonder why you keep having the same ending with different people
and you're wide awake in the middle of the night wishing he'd call and then he'll miss you enough to want you but never enough to stay and you worry you are so good at finding the wrong love you won't know how to recognize the right
Maybe we met at the wrong time In another life I would have made you mine I think we need some time apart You can't be the one to hold my heart A married man can't love another He can't take me under the covers He can't make me feel the way he does I just want to go back to the way it was But what if you're the one who gets away I might come to regret this someday I shouldn't want you the way that I do In 38 days I need to be over you You need to stop making me feel this way Love can't be put on layaway You know how I feel and you did it again Why did I ever let you in