timing is a delicate thing. it's the difference between life & death. it's the difference between a sure yes & a strong maybe. it's the difference between a friendly glance & a look held too long.
timing's never really been my thing. I'm always too late. too late for appointments, for chances, for people. I never know how to show up at quite the right time. and I think I wanted timing to mean less than it did. because now you need the time. because your time is valuable and while I know it's not being wasted, I know it needs to be acknowledged that you need it. and that be the end. and there be no other place we go for then. and I need to accept that this could be a road I looked down and walked past. and just because I don't want that doesn't make it not what it is. or what it could be. because it is what it is. it is.
I didn’t know
When you would show
Your smiling face to me.
Time went on
Now you're gone,
I should’ve shone my smile on thee.
You’ll never know
How far we’d go
And now we’ll never see.
Why did I wait
Loneliness is poor bait
So much relies on timing.
God didn't want me to hold you
He did everything in his power to take you away from me
He moved you away and made cell phone plans expensive
He made skype crash and different timezones
He cursed us with bad timing and just a couple of seconds
He cursed us with years of patience
God didn't want me to hold you, but he let me love you
He let me see photographs and your messages in the mornings
I did everything in my power to stay
God cursed me with patience and let me love you so far away
God blessed you with the ability to walk away
And I never felt your skin
You blew in like this "storm of all storms",
With fair warning that you were on your way,
But absolutely zero understanding
Of the intensity on arrival day.
The air was thick with electricity then,
(As it is now, I suppose) A low buzz,
A humdrum in the head that I thought was vertigo,
Stopped me in my tracks to greet (as one does).
And you smiled and you waved,
And you small-talked, my beautiful respite,
Like wispy clouds over The Mountain,
Intermittent, there, but never quite.
And then one day you kissed me
And the waters did tumble and swell,
Spill their guts all over the Promenade
And everything in sight fell.
It was a foamy mess of raging happiness,
A torrent of all-consuming silly madness,
And it swept me off my anxious feet,
And flushed away my sadness.
And then you were gone, off to where
The storms go when they go I would assume,
Greener pastures or backwards on an old course,
To take up the tryst with the Empress and resume.
Or maybe, (I secretly hope),
You did as the nursery rhyme goes;
And you made like rain and went away,
But'll come on some other day's repose.
I see you now, when you go on your way,
And knock with your guard up to say hi,
When you smile, but at the window or wall,
Like a promise cloud in a clear blue sky.
Now I wish and I hope and I pray,
That when all this sorrow is washed away,
(Or washed clean and put in its place)
You'll blow in again to water Kalk Bay.
I could write a meaningful story with a meaningful message for you to carry with you into the future and beyond.
No, I don't think I have enough time to create a picture in your mind of what I have to say.
There is nothing to gain or give to the words I write in the time I have left.
How about 5?
< 5. Would you be able to pull this off by then?
I can't and I have < 10.
Maybe it's easy for you, but accept the fact that it is not easy to write good poetry with purpose and meaning and feeling and anything that is important to you in < 10 minutes...