you are better off
without me than with me.
and i am better off
without you than with you.
you should just save
your time and energy
and let me go,
and i should just save
my time and energy
and let you go.
but you do not want to,
and i do not want to.

i am nostalgic
for the past,
the past that we hadt
and the almost
happy memories we
shared,
painful memories that
will always be caged
in my mind and heart.
and sometimes,
this nostalgia is too
overwhelming and
unabareable,
so i get the urge to
be sentimental for the
briefest moment and
wanting, needing a
time machine.
but then, again,
i need to face the ugly
reality, where you are no
longer next to me,
and you can't comfort
me like you used to.

his soft voice sang to her,
beneath her window.

guitar in hand,
he strummed the strings carefully,
he wanted everything to be perfect,
only of her.

she was holding a smile that he hasn't seen before,
a genuine smile, from the heart.
her heart melted as she watched
the boy she loved with her whole heart
serenade her under her window,
just like in their favorite movie.

it's four am,
and i am lying in
the bed that cracks
every time somebody
touches it,
just like i me.
and i stare at the ceiling,
thinking about my
****** up life
and how i will
run away even
further.
i m just hoping
that nobody will
be looking for me and
nobody will find me,
because i do not
want to be found.

deadly sins,
              written on your
              dazed mind and
              *scarred body.

you hear that?
-that's the siren
of desperation you're hearing.

be bold
be brave
the world is being hold
by the slave
that is worn out and old
digging his own grave.

i.
there's something melancholy,
something tragically beautiful
about loving someone who doesn't love you

ii.
there is a certain sadness
of bleeding for someone who
wouldn't even shed a tear for you

iii.**
and there is a certain romance
to reaching out and falling to the floor
and falling for you and crying silent storms
of unexpected kisses and warm hugs.

and you will
find me lying
on the floor,
looking happy for
the first time,
even though,
i will be in
hell,
where i truly belong.

look up
look at the sun
it shines bright
with its' all mighty power
it can blind you
and burn you
but it gives you strength
and energy
*just like you
give me.

our refined, synchronized
movements astounded
everybody, even the
gloomiest pessimists.

there tears fall,
on this blank piece of paper.

these tears that i swallow,
are soundless and muffled.

these tears are only mine,
nobody knows the reason.

nobody can save these tears
or make them disappear.

these tears still fall
every day on this blank piece of paper.


these tears are now shattered
on a piece of paper that is no longer blank.

these tears are now printed forever
on this written, scribbled paper.

these tears are for you only,
perhaps you don't deserve them,
but i need my closure.

and that closure are the tears
and this piece of paper where my heart is written.

my love for you,
the tears that you don't deserve,
the words that only my soul understands,
the heart that is no longer yours,
the love that you do not deserve anymore.

*people turn out something they should never be.

this is it,
it has finally come,
and we aren't prepared
for it,
we aren't prepared for
the change,
for *the end.

but she brought the rain
and clouds and storm
and thunder.

and all he brought was
the sun, and it outshined
her completely.

after all, everyone liked
the sun and
no one liked the rain.

morbid and unwanted
thoughts invade my mind,
i am captured into the hands
of evil power, a power that is
stronger than mine, and it's
overpowering me, so much
that i can't breathe and my
last breath is stolen by the
demon that has been above
me all this time, the demon
that didn't leave my side,
even just for a minute.

it was a blurry saturday night,
the sky cleared from the thick clouds,
bodies were swaying and
music was playing,
but all i felt was emptiness
and all i heard was silence.

and on that tipsy saturday night
while the wind was blowing in my face,
i thought of you, here-
next to me, holding my hand,
trying to hide that broad smile
on your glowing face.

the one thing i learned that chilly night,
was that no one will ever love you
the way i loved you, and how
i loved everything about you,
no matter your flaws and imperfections.