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you took it from me.
no, you stole it.
my innocence.

how dare you do that to a 14 year old girl, getting her drunk her first time. then two years later she stays drunk to forget what started with a bottle.

how do i feel today?

angry, you know i still have the mentally still there bruises from you? the ache in the back of my head where you pulled my hair. the bite marks left a scar on my shoulder, so did the cut on my throat from the knife you used to force me.

do you know how hard that was to go to the hospital and tell them what you done?

its not completely your fault im like this today.

what am i doing because of it?

cutter,drinker,starver, and suicidal.

its mostly my fault for being too scared to say no.

also mostly my fault for living after you slit my throat.
this was about a very hard day of my life, i got my virginity taken by friends brother at 14, while he was 19, he got me drunk and took me to his room.

please dont give negative comments on this personal poem because this is the first time i have ever shared this with strangers other than the police and my therapist, and parents.

thank you
I should've known I can't trust anyone
For they only leave in the end
No matter how many reasons they have to stay
And memories that should keep them around
Feel free to share revisions ideas :)
You said you'd always be there
You left
And now I don't know where you are
Nor do I want to look desperate searching everywhere for you
My 3rd poem about you big bro Jakey...
Feel free to share revision ideas :)
Right here I lay
In tears running astray
Down my cheeks so cold
In this pain unfortold

Silently I weep
Praying to fall asleep
Before I fall apart
Before I die of a broken heart

But wishes don't come true
You can't start life anew
What's done is done
And what's gone is gone.
Heera 2d
Your heart has it's mechanisms to contract and ;relax; this isn't a biology ;class; of those times when you didn't have to think of slitting your ;wrist; pulse meaning you are ;alive; doesn't necessary mean living happily ;enough; receptors in your brain making waves of excitation and ;inhibition;is a process of controlling all that makes you lose your ;mind; body and soul work together to yield ;you; Who decided to quit on all the miracles that are functioning to make you live every ;moment; is not enough to convince you to make changes in your ;life; And live has atleast two letters in ;common; problems are there between you and me, I ;swear; isn't that good?
read the word between the semicolons at the end of sentence as well at the beginning of next
Wynter 3d
You are feared by many
But I patiently wait for you.
You can save me
But I can't get near you.
Will I ever have courage,
So I can end all this.
cupid 3d
i hate so much you referred to be as pretending
as if dressing me as who i am is wrong
as if my name is a lie
i have been pretending to be who you say i am for years
but now that i come clean
i am so angry that this is all only a big deal because you know now
none of it mattered before you got a call from my school
it was whatever before it was brought to your attention
i have felt this way everyday for years
i have been who i am for years
i don’t know how to tell you that you aren’t helping
that you aren’t being supportive
if this were a phase
or just the teenage fever idea of being who i’m not
it would be different
but your words feel like knives
you keep telling me that how i feel about you and my life makes you feel bad
but think that for my mentality to get to that point how did you make me feel
i know that everything is not about me
nothing is
this is all about you isn’t it
all the wasted time my wasted life is going to be
how you won’t let you kid be who he wants
how you would rather a daughter who feels robotic
a daughter that has no feelings
how you would rather your son pretend to be you daughter
you would rather your son feel disgusting and trapped
feel like an inconvenience
an annoyance
feel like all he will ever be is a burden
a misfit
you would rather i fake who i am
answer to the name you forced upon me
live up to not your standards but your expectations
i know you say otherwise but i cannot feel that you want anything than for me to be your picture perfect daughter
that i need to succeed and be what you wished you had been before anything else
before my dreams, my expression, my happiness
you are never ready to tell the person who raised you that you would rather disappear then feel the way you do
but you are ready to play pretend about it until you blow up
i am so ready to pick up and leave
Thorns 3d
I'm depressed sometimes suicidal
     It's okay, I'm okay (no I'm not)
No effing pill could fix this
     Pills **** anyway, don't want that ****
I'm sorry this is bad, don't be a hater just let me be depressed
     And maybe if you had a heart you would end my suffering
Someday i was happy,
now tears falling down my face.

They so violently took me,
still warm from your embrace.

Life here ends,
cause you're something i can't replace.

i can't stand the cruelty
of the human race.
Josh 5d
For years
all I have yearned for
Is health.

The pills, the needles
the doctors, the lights
the fear, the hurting.

For years
I have abused my body more
and more.

The razors, the *****
the hitting, the starvation
the fear, the hurting.

the fear, the hurting

the fear
the hurting

the fear.

the hurting.

My only escape is death.
isn't it?
this one is a few months old, but i have wished and wished to share it. so here <3
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