Bubbles float to the top, perfect crystal spheres Crushing blackness swallows me whole, nothing to see or hear I know you’re wondering how I ended up in this deep despair You see, dying a silent death was never really something to fear It’s 3:30 am & I’m alone, riding my bike along the seaside Stars shining brightly in this cloudless night, nowhere for them to hide Glistening wet sand, being swiftly left behind The lack of noise, perfect for my cluttered mind One step closer to the end , and I no longer feel my heartbeat Cold, wet, sand wrapping around every inch of my feet No one needed to tell me that the water would be deep Tears mixing with the ocean, it’s now the water’s secret to keep Falling deeper, losing consciousness, letting the current carry me The darkness is beautiful,so soothing when there’s nothing to see This is it to me, but you maybe thinking this can’t be But this is exactly what you think it is, this is suicidal poetry
Sometimes the enemy is myself In the fight for my will to live An inner conflict that occurs More often than I care to admit Approaching myself with utmost care As if I am a war torn child Who is use to conflict yet still afraid Like bulletproof glass that's fragile
I can't help feeling confused and lost Not knowing what to chase I didn't think that far in life Didn't fathom what I could face That my fate continued after high school Graduation wasn't the end of me I am still alive and surviving Yet still chasing the idea of being free I often feel conflicted Of choosing which path to take What I want or what is expected of me I'm still trying to differentiate
Darkness like a cloud covers my mind like a blanket over a child. Thoughts slither into my head telling me, "You're not worth it" "Nobody loves you" "You're ****" "You are ******" "Just hurt yourself" "Drag the knife across your skin" "Take the iron and touch its hot surface" Pain fills my body. Emotional, mental, physical pain all at once. My vision clouds with red and then all I see is Black. Cold seeps through my body tiles on the bathroom floor blood pooling around my body. This is my living ****. Waiting for someone to come find me because I can't help myself and my attempt at death failed. Death watches over me like a loving mother waiting patiently to reach out its arms and scoop me into them and then take me into the great unknown.
Is it right to have suicidal thoughts? And having feelings of being lost. Stuck in my head reading the same passage. From a note I wrote in the past . When things were hazy, but still the love last. Now beaten and torn . I feel like giving up. I feel like going to that place , Where everyone says my past can be erased. Sadly even when I do , it won't be like that. I've done wrong in my time .I deserve some torture. But it's all the same here Apon this Earth . It's all torture . Live everyday with stress and anguish. I'll die without receiving my first wish. Is it right to have suicidal thoughts like this?
Recovery sort of feels like You're carrying a heavy backpack Through an unforgiving snowstorm You try to fight your way through Just to reach your destination Each step further, no matter how slow Is still a step forward Though, there are times you're exhausted So you stop and rest for awhile You stop but the storm doesn't You freeze and then feel numb If you sit too long you'll die You just have to keep going Even if the journey constantly feels like You are walking towards you're death Staying in the same spot will too The only difference is You have the chance to choose You have the choice to change You're more likely to live When you don't stay the same