it's time,
to move on,
and forget and forgive,
all the mistakes,
all the regrets,
because if we carry
them for the rest
of our lives,
we will die with
a burden on our hearts.

change can be good,
change can be bad,
but eventually change
comes,
and if you aren't prepared
for it,
it might leave a mark
on you.

walk into the tobacco shop,
the bell rings, letting everybody
know you're here to buy a cigar
that will soothe your pain
and eventually make it disappear,
until it comes back and
you'll reach out for
another, and another,
until your pack is empty,
and you'll go to
the same shop to buy
another one.
*it's a cycle that never
ends, and i hope it never will.

today,
i heard that you had
a bike accident.
you hit your bike
into a **** tree.
what were you focused
on, that you didn't
notice a **** tree?
maybe it was her.

she always catches your attention,

tomorrow,
i will see you hand in hand
with her,
stepping out of the
hospital.
and you will look
and be happy,
because you're with her,
now.
i was,
i am,
and i will be,
just another phase in
your life,
a phase you want to forget,
and soon enough,
you will forget about me and
all of our unforgettable memories.

but i never will,

do not get too close,
darling,
it is dark inside.

the universe
isn't vast enough
and big enough
to show you
how much
i love you.

i look outside the window,
and a notice snowflakes
covering the ***** ground
we walk on.

it is perfectly white,
like it should be
without any flaws.

and nobody has touched
that snow,
nobody has stepped on
that snow,
and perhaps i will be the
first.

so, please,
let me be the first one
to touch you.

a sophisticated
dance, in the
empty ballroom,
at ten pm,
while everybody
else is drunk in
the next room,
we are dancing,
sober and alive,
*for the first time,
ever.

crimson red bottles,
are shattered all across the
soft, white carpet.

pieces of broken glass,
are left there to wait
for somebody to pick them up.

red stains everywhere,
of blood and red wine,
broken wine bottles
are equal as broken souls.
*-they stay broken

a perfect winter
night includes:
hot chocolate,
blanket,
a warm place,
snacks,
good movies,
dimmed lights
and you.

but this ain't
a perfect night
because it doesn't
include you,
and i am left alone,
once again along
with my list,
without your name
written on the bottom
of it.

and i put you last,
because the last things
are the best,
right?

and that tuesday night,
i didn't expect much,
i thought it would all
go down in falmes,
but it turned out
to go up in the sky,
and as i felt your eyes
on me, i looked up
and smiled at the stars
for having you next to me,
where you are supposed to be
and to be so fortunate,
so privileged to have your eyes
on me, so lucky to have
met your eyes and seen your smile,
because it is the most beautiful
thing i have ever seen, baby.

yesterday,
i saw you,
driving your bike
through the crowded
park,
with a smile on your
enchanting face.

perhaps you were thinking about her,
and that's what made you smile.

you will
certainly be
the ultimate,
paining death
of me.

the moment of surprise,
hold of breath,
wandering eyes,
cloudy skies,
crowded place,
elevated space,
racing heart,
i'm fallen apart,
tight grip on your colar,
don't be so bipolar,
red lipstick kisses,
heartbroken pieces,
messy hair,
we are the perfect pair,
only when you leave me,
you will see,
why we were so reckless,
young and careless,
fooling around,
misbehaving without a sound,
our hearts wound,
unfixable,
dismissable.

you're harsh
and harmful,
causing a havoc
out of my life.

you're strong
and demanding,
distrubing my already
****** up mind.

you're insane
and possesive,
crashing and breaking
my heart into pieces.

you're gorgeous
and aggressive,
piercing through
my jumbled mind.

you're simple
and fascinating,
completely destroying
my body with yours.

                                    *but baby, you're all mine,
                                              still only mine.

maybe it's sort of pathetic how you were my very first thought in 2015
and how i couldn't watch you smile as the clock struck twelve but i guess i'm just never good enough for your presence
i hate how you're cold and i always burn and you could freeze me with your eyes if you‘d ever look at me but i'm only firing flames and you don't seem to notice and you're clueless to my sadness or just want to be
and you don't look at me anymore
you never smile and i never smile and i guess the world is a sad place and the stars don't shine and my heart doesn't sing and my lungs dont breathe without your smile
the sound of your name is my favourite melody and your voice is my favourite tune and you're the song i can't stop listening
and i noticed how your friend mentioned your name and then searched for a reaction in my eyes, he would stop for a second and scan my face for a change of the sound of your name and i feared they might see you behind my eyes because it's all i ever see,
he told me tales of how you missed your bus and chased it and i could just imagine your flushed cheeks, i guess you're used to this weather and he asked me about you and i just smiled and denied but it was all a lie since i still love you but to be honest i never actually stopped no matter how much i tell myself i did
you were my first dream of 2015 and i fear you're gonna stay just that when i want you in reality and i know these two weeks are gonna be hell without you but maybe hell is exactly what i need since you're my heaven, the heaven i don't even deserve and the moon is hidden behind the clouds and it feels like you're hidden behind time
i hope time doesn't erase you from my heart no matter how much i hate you,
maybe you'll never understand that you are the sun with a soul of a winter and i'm just a storm with a loud thunder.

when i look into
your eyes, the whole
world just stops moving,
time stops and so does
my breathing, my heart
beats faster than ever
and there is nothing
around us,
only you and I.

your brown pupils
piercing right through
my soul, my green ones
only doing a minor
scratch that will be
soon forgotten and
washed away.

but even with that,
i keep on looking,
hoping that i will
see a spark in your eyes,
that no one has seen before.