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Summer always was my trigger season
the time were always everything would change

my heart got broken more than once this year
every time you made me feel worthless another piece broke

this cruel summer
I have cried over everything that ever happened to us
I have died about everything that ever happend to me

I have learned how much my own happiness means to me
and that the happiness I always saw in us was dead

loving you was like selfharm,
I know how bad it was and still I could never leave

I needed you to leave first so I could see how much it changed me
the secret sharing stopped, you weren't my favourite person anymore

I wasn't my favourite person anymore

this summer everything changed
I've learned my first crush will be nothing than just a teenage crush
and that it's okay to cry over someone who isn't good for you

this summer I learned it's okay to feel totally ****** up
and that feeling like you are 16 again is totally fine

there is this new someone with beautiful rare eyes and an insanely beautiful smile who I can share my secrets with and be myself with

it's crazy how I can feel more loved and more special with you

you learned me
I am not too much and I deserve to be loved for everything that is me
this summer was a total roller coaster
I’m loving these wealth vibrations
Through my body coursing
Filling me with warm sensations
Strong and reinforcing

Like sunshine lightly on my skin
Making that day brighter
Warming my soul from deep within
Making burdens lighter

Power surging, hope inviting
Filling me completely
Dreams are coming, quite exciting
Wealthy vibes warm sweetly
This is Prosperity Poem 29 at ProsperityPoems.com  and you can see it displayed on a beautiful background at http://prosperitypoems.com/delivery29WealthVibrations.html
Nathalie Apr 18
Sometimes life invites
us to renegotiate
our terms and to
connect with our heart
in a totally different way

The invitation arrives
serendipitously
as a an accident but
our soul knows
it's more than coincidence
faith has played a hand

We still get to choose
but what if, we decided
to surrender and go
with the flow and
dive into the stream
of the unknown

This is where it
gets exciting because
we realize that there
is always a bigger plan
than the small one we
had thought up ourselves

~Nathalie
laurynas-dyma Apr 10
picturesque drawing
of our future
in your eyes
whilst you gaze
into mine.

and it's blurry
and that's exciting,
what it beholds
is unknown.

we guess and imagine
it's colours, size
and the frame.

open to our
interpretation.
Im now 20,

and sympathize those in the same age category as me

----

The painful

insanely, mechanical yet dizzying push to be

--something --
titles, names, high status nothingness
Yet, we search

every corner we turn to
say
Is this it?
Security, Purpose, a treasure trove of possibility
find me - you - me - you see?
Did you land here on my lap, perfectly?

Today this is it
But, then Tomorrow blows up
Like an a unpredictable field mine.
In my precious heart, that thought it knew
it was right, right?

And this pressure crushes me
And somedays I feel so lonely

Yet, this insane pressure
To be this mold
And hold this space to be a list
And the uncertainty
Unfamiliarity
It literally crushes me
In it's silence, yet ferocious noise that pounds in my skull

The wild voice,
It drives us insane,
And drains me with this internal pain

That 'I will never be enough'

That....

--money, not enough
-- my schooling, not enough
-- my experience, not enough
-- my materials, not enough
-- my social circle, not enough


And this pain of enoughness is stuffing me with fear
So I try to turn every direction
Scattered, and seared with this
Deep insanity to grab it all

Yet, we sometimes fill ourselves with doubt
that pushes us to a dangerous, unforgiving - edgde

Yet, after being broken down by the day
vulnerablity blossoms
Honestly, I say - where do I go?

Now?

I search, plea, beg..
I grip tightly,
asking - pleading for guidance
Being 20 is exciting, yet hard.
What I can't seem to figure out
Is that
When I look at you
My heart lights up
It burns bright and fierce
Sharp and strong and thrilling
And yet
My mouth turns down
My eyes frown
And the singing flame in my heart
Burns like shame across my cheeks
The gears in my head freeze
Even as my heart begins to melt
My flesh crawls
Even as it tingles
At the thought
Of you on my skin
I want you close
Even as I want you far
I want to let you in
But I can't
hope is a force that wields
great power and great strength.
maybe there's no actual magic in it,
but where there’s hope,
you can make things happen,
it’s almost like magic.
Excerpts from my new book “Desperate Acts”
Empire Mar 4
Have you ever
Fallen so in love
With something
So evil
So full of secrets
And lies
But it was exhilarating
Intoxicating
Breathtaking
So, you ignored the signs
The warnings
Everything you knew
Because you were in love
And it just felt so good
But you knew
It would be your end?
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