I did it again... I did what I didn't want to do, that thing I've been resisting, that thing I no longer want in my life... I did it again! How can I do something I didn't want to do? There are 2 possible answers:
1- I decided to do it anyway, which is dumb!
2- Something else made me do it, which is suspicious!
If something else can make me do things, I don't have free will, and if there is no free will... It means I'm a SLAVE! Well to a certain extend I would say the science of brainwashing and manipulations which the most popular branch is named "Marketing" is just the science of Slavery! How to enslave people without being caught! Therefore, the second answer has some truth in it, yet I feel like I made the decision to do it. Just like all great sellers, they always make the prospect think that they made the decision to buy. Then if they don't like what they bought, they can only blame themselves. What a pitiful civilization.
Now you'll tell me that this is a sane world to live in! Everybody is doing their best to enslave you to their product, to their belief system, to their view of the world. They all want your money, your time, your house (if you have one), your mind, your attention... your soul! This is like "Wall-E", "The Matrix", "Terminator" and "The walking dead" mixed together with some "Constantine" black magic behind it...
So from a slave to another, next time you do it again (because you will!), don't beat yourself up. It's your responsibility, but it might not be your fault.
Random words about falling into bad habits.