It was a long bus ride And the **** plastic sheet seats Were cracking from abuse and freeze We all kept warm with conversations And secrets And scandals in the back row
The era of shame My own propaganda Selling me on the idea That I should carry everyone's. Sourness Sins Shame
That bus was wretched With the stench Of frozen sweat And regret
Despite it all I could find any single one of you And we'd exchange Untouchable moments Memories of the heart Strung along that tattered pavement
It was in your eyes That I saw myself shine For across that opaque pane I witnessed your thought "this guy is interesting"
You and your curly raven rings Asking about my fixations Changed the course Of who I see when I close my eyes
I've never seen you since that summer I've never sat behind you again Can't even recall the name Can't remember if we won the game But you're a warm tea I get to sip When it comes across my mind No loose ends No ***** stains Just the sun breaking the squall And the summer of ****** football
We read our books and pretend to not make glances at each other. We smile as if the pages in the book had tickled at our sides. We write love stories in our heads and forget about the ones on the page. An uncomfortable warmth surrounds us as we pretend not to pose ourselves in our chairs. As if we are offering ourselves to the sun to immortalise this youthful love. Our hands quiver as we turn each page. Like these stories will ours come to a brief end? And though you and I are nothing, destined for deletion, taunted by extinction. We pray that these feelings are more than that. But when I see the stars in your eyes my worries float away, for I know this love is cosmic.
~ Holding court at the Zanzibar, they looked on good nights like Egyptian Queens, like Ancient Babylonians.
On not so good nights, they resembled Brassaï's Moma Bijou - "fugitives from Baudelaire's bad dreams", and even then they looked magnificent.
Identity wasn't something you nailed yourself into in late adolescence. It was a trick of the light, and if you were to avoid burning yourself out, then you simply let the flames lick over you and turned the ashes into kohl. ~
Deep sleeping delta breathing Breath of subtle water air Salivating in mid summer airs- Night view on the dark pavement. Hands on it feeling upward rising Warmth. Gazing up at the sun Red, Pink, Orange and Blue coalescing infinitely. The Sky Earth Action in my memories m e m o r i e s