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Ashwin Kumar Oct 21
All of us, at some stage or the other
Have had certain experiences
Which have changed our lives forever
For the better, or for the worse
Of course, if it were the latter
We would have developed scars
Some of these scars
Take as much time to heal
As it takes, to place a human being on the Moon!!

Look at me, for example
Happy being single, at the age of thirty
Except for some work stress, of course
All it took, for everything to change
Was that infernal M-word

Well, it was but natural
That I would be apprehensive at first
However, as I got to know the girl
My heart told me
That I was on the right track

A couple of meetings
At my place
And then at her place
Followed by a month full of daily phone calls
And my decision was made

Our engagement was quite the tiny affair
My heart though, told me
That we were a cute couple
My brain was sure not
Of course, you all know
That I always follow my heart
And so it was, in this case too

Well, there were a few red flags
However, overruled was my brain, once more
On a roll, was my heart
I had everything in life
Or so did I think

Just was I getting ready
To tie the knot
When the pandemic struck
Suddenly, did everything look uncertain

So upset did my fiancee become
She stopped talking to me
Nor was my family spared
Though hardly was it our fault

Well, after a week or so
The silence was finally broken
However, never were things the same again

Often would we run out of topics to discuss
Except for a few mundane ones
For instance, what we had for dinner etc etc
And would she make herself available
Only around 9 PM
This was but a red flag
Which did I fail to recognise, yet again
Because she had lost her job, due to COVID19

As always, did my heart overrule my brain, yet again
And thus did we go ahead with the wedding
Much to my relief, must I say
Since it was but almost five months
Post that accursed lockdown

So, again did I think
That I had everything in life
How wrong was I to be

Right from the beginning
Her lack of interest was obvious
Even on my birthday
Did she fail to spend time with me
However, as always
Did my heart give her the benefit of doubt
Paying absolutely no heed
To the objections raised by my poor brain

Well, this was just the tip of the iceberg
Compared to what was about to follow
When her infidelity was exposed
Never once, did she let me out of her sight
Far from not showing interest
Did she become super possessive
As sudden as a heart attack

My best friend did her best to warn me
Which only ended up turning my wife
Into a jealous ******
Forcing me to cut my bestie off
Which was but one of the worst moments
In my entire life

However, so determined was my best friend
That she gave up not
And, along with my sister
Ended up saving me from total disaster

Though I was ultimately relieved
My now estranged wife's behaviour
Still did prove to be enough
To induce in me, a state of depression
Which lasted for more than a month

Apart from my best friend
And a few close relatives
No one was to know this
Thus, every time was the topic of my marriage raised
Did I have to keep up the facade
And pretend everything was fine
Which failed not, to **** me from the inside

Also, it helped not
That, tedious to the extreme
Was the divorce process
Not to mention, getting further delayed
Thanks to that infernal pandemic

Nor did it help
That my to-be-divorced wife
Threw a few tantrums
Every now and then
In the form of a few messages
Which reeked of utter desperation
Also was I forced, by my lawyer
To maintain a strict silence
Even if it, as always
Killed me from the inside

There was but a silver lining
In all this darkness
Finally, did my brain come to the fore
After being overruled many a time
By my rather naive and impulsive heart

Well, ultimately was the divorce done
But not before we were forced
To pay that wretched girl
A frigging four lakhs
On "humanitarian" grounds
That too, after her outrageous refusal
To return all the jewellery
That we had bestowed upon her
Out of sheer love and compassion

Well, this entire experience has failed not
To leave inside me a few scars
That run rather deep
And may take as much time to heal
As it does for England
To win a Football World Cup!!

My therapist calls this experience "traumatic"
I agree not with her
However, I can equally deny not
That it has indeed affected my life
In a rather adverse manner
My self-confidence, in particular
Has taken a bigger beating
Than did Pakistan's bowlers yesterday
At the hands of Warner and Marsh!!

Yes, we must indeed embrace our scars
However, to expect that to happen
Within a span of two years
Is like asking India to win a Football World Cup
Given that, at present
They are not even able to qualify in the first place!!

Yes, we must indeed embrace our scars
Because they doth prepare us
For mightier challenges ahead
And life is full of such things
However, the first thing to do
Would be, to accept them in the first place
And more importantly, acknowledge them
Because, only when are we kind to ourselves
Can we truly heal
And this doth apply
Even to the tiniest of wounds!!
This is a poem on the scars that I bear due to my divorce and the painful proces of embracing them.
Bardo Oct 3
Y'know if ever I was on a TV show
And the guy was gonna introduce me as 'a Poet'
I'd tell him No! **** No!! They'd all switch off... immediately
Or flee to another TV channel...quick!!!
You'd wanna introduce me instead as the person who was definitely 'not a Poet'
Call me a writer or somethin' else
Tell them, this guy he's OK, yea he's alright
Definitely 'not a Poet'.

'Cos I can remember being taught poetry at school as a kid
How it scarred a lot of us
You'd be given a poem to learn off by heart in one single night
And of course you'd never be able to do that
You'd need at least two nights
So you'd be up all night trying to learn the ****** thing
And you'd be thinking to yourself "surely this Poetry it's an Evil thing
Some strange grown up guy's peculiar words
That don't make any sense to me".

And so you'd go off to school the next day dreading it
And then you'd be called upon to recite the thing
You'd stand up and immediately be distracted by everyone's eyes fixed on you
And also by the teacher's withering look
You'd stumble through some of the words, then you'd lose your place, get stuck
You'd flounder about, look lost and panicky... Then you'd lower your'd give up.
Then the teacher would humiliate you in front of the whole class.

Yea, Poetry was a ***** word to me as a kid
And to a lot of other kids besides (I bet)
It ought to have been hauled up before a Crimes against humanity Court.
Old memories from the past (I have a long memory). I hope no kid ever has to learn one of my ramblings (I must stipulate it in my Will) LoL.
I S A A C Aug 28
bashful, ash blonde hair
unnatural how much he cared
burnt like a cigarette
slurs always hurled at him
unassuming he still cared
joyful, knew it wasn’t fair
try again like a spare
to be cut like a pear
misunderstood, too aware
Nik Bland Aug 2021
Let me borrow your ear
I need to clear
This up for a minute
By far
Everybody is scarred
But no one wants to hear it
They wanna believe
A spirit can be wise
And pure
When in actuality
You and me
Barely keep it together

I’m a fretter
I’m anxious
Brimmed cup of anxiety
And it took a lot of patience
And mistake
To create me
And I come in different shapes
And colors
A variety
To the point I have to wonder
If I compose society?

Do you feel it
The heartbreak
Due to the overwhelming pressure
A feather
Dancing on an flame
Trying to pull it together
I better be better
Cause a better better is coming
Across my way
And I am less than adequate
A bruised peach
They will not taste

A waste
A want
As we all lay ever starvin’
I’m pulling punches
‘Cause of time crunches
I’m reminiscent of Marvin
In the way
That each day
I wonder exactly what is going on
And something something else
I’m too stressed to remember the song

Dear lover
Dear dreamer
Dear whoever you are
Love beyond the frayed bonds
And see all of us
I hope you love with love to spare
And that you spare some for me
Stop looking to be perfect
Because you’ll be very
thepsychkid Jul 2021
What left of me
Is my scattered words
Here and there
They don't mix and match anymore
They're just a floating words
No flows, no directions
I lost you.
I lost them.

What left of me
Is my scarred heart
To write is to force to accept.
But finding my words back
Is not accepting I lost you
I thought it would ****
But only when I write
I will never lost you.
I lost my Dad last year and I thought I will never write again because writing my pain was truly a torture. But I realize that only when I write can I never lost him forever.
Hunger Jul 2021
Someone slap me in the face,
So I can forget that I am a disgrace,
Someone **** my pain,
So I can stop going insane,
Someone fix the voices inside,
So I can finally hide,
They scream at me and say I am wrong,
To listen to music be happy or sing a song,
All the noise hurts as my soul weighs me down,
I fell as though the sound is the water in which I drown,
Could I ever be happy again in any way,
If not yesterday perhaps today,
Id gladly give heart soul and mind,
To finally have joy to stand behind,
But inside I cry,
I feel like I should die,
I hold my breathe waiting to see black,
And let it out wishing the air was crack,
Cause id rather be anyone but me,
Cause them maybe I could be free,
But if must stay me,
Can someone help distract me from myself...
I am not getting better, it all just hurts worse, nothing is helping, I need someone to love, and no one is there, I just feel dead and empty, I pray and pray and nothing happens, I do my best and nothing changes, the weight, the pain, the lack of emotion after all, I hate being in pain but the numbness that follows is even worse...
I want to know,
If I let go of everything.
Who would be scarred?
I wont, but what if I did....
Påłpëbŕå Apr 2021
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