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1.3k · Jul 11
Secrets
ShadowSpy Jul 11
Everyone has secrets,
That I know
Me included
But mine dont show
All caught up in their "drama"
They dont notice my pain
That my biggest secret
Is when I feign
Not standing alone
Having friends
Being known
Please make amends
Am i the only one who carries that heavy secret with them, wherever they go?
921 · Aug 5
You
ShadowSpy Aug 5
You
The love you never had
The pain you always carried
The trust you never showed
The guilt you were consumed by
The joy you were seeking
The anger you held inside

The rest of them could never see
But I did
Because I was once like you
695 · Jul 11
Beauty
ShadowSpy Jul 11
From behind
I hear a whisper
Barely audible
Is my mind a trickster
I turn to look back
But see no one
I know I lack
The things they see
But does that mean
Im not pretty
In the corner I spy
Something standing
Wide eyed
I quickly glance away
from the fear
of him knowing Im a stray
Yes he does
really see me
But thats cause
Im a real beauty
670 · Sep 27
a broken heart
ShadowSpy Sep 27
The beauty of
a broken heart
That doesnt need
to be healed
396 · Sep 15
Why'd
ShadowSpy Sep 15
if you loved me
whyd you leave me

if i loved you
whyd i let you

whyd you save me
only to leave me
whyd you go somewhere you knew i couldnt find
ShadowSpy Jul 15
Chin up high
Even though you did this
How many will die, until you notice?
So many smiles are gone
Too many tears fall wronged
How much will we pay?
Until you take this away
COVID-19
We are a team
You will fall
We will stand
Hand in hand
If i could tell COVID 19 anything, it would be these words
358 · Jul 14
To
ShadowSpy Jul 14
To
To Love
Is to Give trust away

To Hate
Is to Push away

To ****
Is to Take away

To See Me
Is to Bury all the pain
if you see me, REALLY see me, then you have already done more than most
353 · Sep 15
Love
ShadowSpy Sep 15
Do you
Love her

Are you a
Lover

Are they not the same?
332 · Jul 30
Falling Up
ShadowSpy Jul 30
When the world becomes black
Im almost safe
The impossible becomes possible
And the unreal becomes real
My darkness is kept low
And my imagination flys high
But that can only last for so long
The world will come to color
The impossible will escape out of reach
And the unreal will hide away
My darkness will creep back
And my imagination will be shoved in

But eventually I will go back to the blackness,
Forever
We all will
And then we will be safe forever
Falling Asleep and Waking Up.....Then Falling Asleep Forever
228 · Aug 4
Chorus of Chaos
ShadowSpy Aug 4
Lurking in the dark
I do not see
He comes around
And buries me
My throat closes in
The world goes black
But I cannot tell
Because Im in the back
When my mind comes to
A masked face stares
I pull away
Hes from my nightmares
My body is bound
My head is throbbing
I can only do one thing
And that is not sobbing
I open my mouth
And out comes
A chorus of chaos
219 · Jul 9
The Fixer
ShadowSpy Jul 9
Broken?
Yes.
So she takes it to the fixer.
Broken?
Yes.
So he takes it to the fixer.
The Fixer doesn’t let anyone down.
It fixes the broken, and heals the breakable.
Broken?
Yes.
So it fixes and heals.
Because it is the Fixer.
No one can fix it or heal it.
Because no one knows the Fixer can be broken.
Everyone knows a Fixer. Don't forget about them, because they'll never forget you.
210 · Aug 4
Pain
ShadowSpy Aug 4
I want to heal you
But I cannot feel your pain
Please open the door
Ive seen your eyes rain
You feel so hopeless
Yet a smile you feign
Crying cant help you
Let me be your drain
Call out for help
Before you walk down the wrong lane
I refuse to watch you
End your pain
CALL FOR HELP: 1-800-273-8255
Trusted and loved ones are always also an options
Join the fight to prevent suicide, and tag your poem with #StayWithUs
They need us, so be there for them.
194 · Sep 6
My Hearts Already Dead
ShadowSpy Sep 6
Some days
I lie in bed
Over come by
A sense of dread
Lips trembling
But nothings to be said
Mind tries to get up
But my feet are bricks of lead
Breaking point is near
My hearts already dead
189 · Jul 18
The Chance
ShadowSpy Jul 18
Slash.
Dodge,
Jab.
The chance.
It will only come once.
But you let it go.
Mistake?
Maybe.
The chance.
Only this time, not for you.
It will only come once.
But they don't let it go.
Mistake?
You decide.
188 · Aug 15
The Day
ShadowSpy Aug 15
the day
we celebrate
how much a person has grown

the day
we come together with
those we have known

the day
we sing
till the candle is blown

the day
we know
we wont be alone
is our special day!
187 · Sep 6
Heaven Once Spoke
ShadowSpy Sep 6
Heaven once spoke
With laughter I feared
Powerful vocals
That threatened me
But time in hell
Let me see
Heaven once spoke
With laughter filled with fear
We have united
But drifted apart so slow
In my mind
I will never let you go
the story of one of my friendships <3
168 · Jul 11
Our Friendship
ShadowSpy Jul 11
Walking towards the unknown
Seeing nothing familiar
Then
Suddenly I see you
No,
I do not really know you
And no,
You do not really know me
But
You're presence is enough
I tap you
On the shoulder
You turn and smile
Im greeted by love
Even though you do not really know me
You love me
Our friendship is enough
thank you, to my best friend
168 · Jul 27
Color Of Our Souls
ShadowSpy Jul 27
Twisting throughout me
Is
The Color of my Soul

Dull yet shimmering
Rough yet soft
Dark yet bright

It hides what no one will ever see
My darkest secrets and pains
And my brightest memories and joys

The color of my soul
Is meant to be mixed with
The color of your Soul

And meant to become not the Color of my Soul
But the Color of our Souls
155 · Sep 4
Heart Of Gold
ShadowSpy Sep 4
She had a heart of gold
So beautiful and bold
Eyes that drew you in
Not looking felt like a sin
Steps as light as dust
Looking was a must
Smile that broke your guard
Not staring was just too hard
how he saw her
153 · Sep 15
Drown
ShadowSpy Sep 15
Sink
Drown
Steal my
Crown
Ocean
Wave
No one to
Save
Deep
Down
I am
Underground
Pearl
Shore
I am
No more
152 · Aug 31
Where...
ShadowSpy Aug 31
Hope lingers in the dust
Death lurks behind the darkness
Faith rests ahead
Tragedy follows from afar
Loyalty clears your path
Pain pulls you back
150 · Sep 5
The Danger Of
ShadowSpy Sep 5
The danger of
A voice
Soft as heaven
But a figure
Dark as hell
148 · Jul 17
Man on the Moon
ShadowSpy Jul 17
Looking Up
I see your soft face smiling down at me

I thought I was alone
But at night, I never will be
For you will always shine your stolen light on me

I can see the shadows and outlines of the city
They do not let me breathe
Instead, they fill me with dread

Then, I no longer can
Darkness engulfs me and everything around me
Except you

Looking Up
I see your soft face smiling down at me

I thought the fears would always haunt me
But at night, they never will
For you will always shine your stolen light on me

I can see the dusty features and dark flecks on your face
They do not scare me
Instead, they fill me with hope

Then, I no longer can
Light engulfs me and everything around me
Even you

I hold back tears
Because you gave me hope
And I will see you again
146 · Sep 5
Time to Leave
ShadowSpy Sep 5
You'll know its time to leave
If all the truths you are told
Are just twisted lies
Spoken by a masked figure
You once knew
this can apply to any relationship
140 · Sep 5
Lure Me In
ShadowSpy Sep 5
Lure me in
With a melody of trust
But bury me deep
Under the dust
Hold out your heart
But tear mine apart
Leave me alone
After the love you have shown
sabatoge
139 · Jul 16
First Impressions
ShadowSpy Jul 16
First Impressions
A funny thing
Why does the first time you see me
Define me
Why will that forever affect your thoughts
Of me
And why are they so hard to change

It isnt fair
That you take second chances
All for yourself
And leave nothing for others

I want people to see the truth
Of me
Of others
And of themselves

First Impressions
i wish first impressions didnt always play such a big role in people's thoughts. i know its only natural, but they are so so off and wrong too often
129 · Sep 15
Light
ShadowSpy Sep 15
Shadow
Light
No one
in sight
Comet
Star
I am too
Far
Moon
Sky
I wish I could
Fly
Rays
Sun
I cant so Ill
Run
120 · Sep 15
Enough
ShadowSpy Sep 15
The universe told him
He could never
would never
love her
enough
to heal
her broken
empty
dark
thundering
heart
but he didnt care
he didnt listen
he loved her
enough
to heal
her now
full
bright
shining
heart
119 · Jul 27
Waves
ShadowSpy Jul 27
I stand at the shoreline
The waves beckon me closer
I listen and step towards the foamy blues
A shiver runs through my body as I step in
I let go of myself as the waves become bigger
Again, they beckon me closer
I listen once more and step closer
This time I dont stop
The waves close in around me
Im surrounded in darkness
I dont feel it as all the light in me leaves
As the ground under me disappears
And I drown
118 · Sep 30
End
ShadowSpy Sep 30
End
The words you send
Make my mouth bend
Then I tend
To think of the heart you lend
to me, your friend
whos heart you mend
please let this never end
for my closest friend
117 · Jul 14
A Friendship
ShadowSpy Jul 14
Why is it that you can
Wish for things you have never felt

How is it that I can
Wish for something I have never experienced

Is it possible
Is there a chance
Even the slightest

That one day
Someday
I will have it
Right next to me

A friendship
So strong
Neither of us could break it
Even if we tried
im still holding on to hope
115 · Jul 30
Wasting
ShadowSpy Jul 30
Its scary
As time passes
I wonder
Am I wasting my time?
Am I wasting my life?
It terrifies me that I might never be able to do those things
That maybe in the future I wont be bringing justice to the world
Even if not those, what if I end up doing nothing
What if I end up becoming nothing?
114 · Jul 20
It Is The Key
ShadowSpy Jul 20
Stands on the porch.
His gaze set on a lock.
He peers through the keyhole.
Nothing.
Sets off to find it.
What will open her?
What will free her?
Will he?
No.
It will.
But what is it?
He looks.
He searches.
He cannot find it.
He will not give up.
The house is crumbling.
She is crumbling.
He won’t let her fall.
Not now.
He is close.
He can feel it.

There.
He has found it.
So close yet so far.
Why?
Because she has it.
She doesn’t understand.
She will not give the key up.
She doesn’t know what will happen.
The house will crumble.
It will fall.
Not only will it break her, but it will break him too.
108 · Aug 7
Who Am I
ShadowSpy Aug 7
Who am I to tell you its ok to cry
When I cannot do so myself
Who am I to make you feel strong
When I am so weak
Who am I to let you down gently
When I have been crushed

Who am I to hold out my heart
When not a single of you will take it
104 · Aug 7
How Could You
ShadowSpy Aug 7
How could you pick me up
And put me together
Using your own hands
Without a single doubt

Only to push me back down
And break me apart
Using your own feet
Without a second glance

I shouldve known
After all,
Nothing good lasts forever
104 · Jul 11
Story of My Life
ShadowSpy Jul 11
I step towards the crowd
Surrounded by
High fives
and
Grinning faces
One stands out though
It is mine
Unlike the others
I do not make eye contact
I do not smile
I do not walk towards
I walk away
From pain
From heartbreak
From betrayal
Maybe one day
This road will lead me
Somewhere far far away
Where I am
Myself
And I can
Be okay with that
we're all on that journey, right?
99 · Aug 17
We Always Think
ShadowSpy Aug 17
We always think
Those who are alone
Deserve to be lonely
Yet everyday we witness
Sins above all
Everyday we witness
The world we have built
From the outcast
Trying to fit in
To the stray
Keeping their distance
We always think
They are the ones falling behind
But think again
Are they?
85 · Aug 17
Some are Meant To...
ShadowSpy Aug 17
As we take our first breath
We are handed a tool
Given to us by the creator of the universe

It never leaves our hand
Although we cannot see it
Or feel it
We can sense it

Some are meant to change people
Into better or worse humans

Some are meant to carve the world
Into the place we love or hate

Some are meant to give us hope
Which without we would fall

Some are meant to teach us
What we would never know, other-wise

Some are meant to strengthen us
To become who we really are

Some are meant to save us
Before we disappear

And some are meant to destroy
The better humans we are
The world we love
The hope we stand upon
The knowledge we know
And the strength we lean on

Which tool is in your grasp?
82 · Jul 16
Nothing
ShadowSpy Jul 16
There comes a time where one will win
The others left to pay for sins
They did not do
They did nothing
79 · Jul 15
So Dark Yet So Sweet
ShadowSpy Jul 15
A melody fills my head
So dark
Yet so sweet

It draws those near me closer
It pushes those far from me further

But it doesnt let them see
This mystical beauty
This enchanting sorceress
This magical creature

And it doesnt let me feel
Worthy
Trust
Love

So in the end who wins?

This melody that fills my head
Is dark
Yet sweet

But its taken over
Their mind
And soon
Mine too
79 · Jul 14
That Girl
ShadowSpy Jul 14
Hidden behind walls
Wearing a mask
Lurking in the shadows
Is
Me

I am her
That girl
Who has never has laughed
Who never lets the sparkles into her eyes
Who never takes a chance on anyone

But the truth is
I once did
But I was shut down
I was pushed away
I was closed out

And now I want to
Laugh, sparkle, and trust
But how can I
When I have forgotten the way
And there is no one to lead me
yeah im that girl now, but not forever
77 · Jul 10
Reality
ShadowSpy Jul 10
Sitting.
No one notices.
Standing.
No one cares.
One step back.
Two steps back.
A glance or two.
On the edge.
Sorries.
Two hands.
Desperate words.
One hand.
Crying.
Nothing.
Screams.
Not in her head, but in reality.
this isnt only for those thinking about it, its also for those who can help and prevent it
77 · Jul 11
Different
ShadowSpy Jul 11
I've always been different,
haven't I?

Yes
sometimes it takes time to accept yourself, but we all have to
73 · Aug 3
StayWithUS
ShadowSpy Aug 3
Imagine feeling all alone
Not knowing youre loved

Imagine trying to fight the pain by yourself
Not knowing other can help

Imagine feel hopeless and despair
Not knowing that joy is not to far ahead

Imagine attempting to take your life
Not knowing it will not only **** you

Some of us can relate and
Understand the true feelings
I cannot, but I can look for
Clues that lead to the end
I know you are stronger than whatever is paining you
Do you?
Ending your life is not the way to go
CALL FOR HELP: 1-800-273-8255
Trusted and loved ones are always also an options
Join the fight to prevent suicide, and tag your poem with #StayWithUs
They need us, so be there for them.
71 · Aug 24
Reality Does Not Hide
ShadowSpy Aug 24
Reality is not Hiding

It is being hidden
By liars

It is being covered
By demons

It is being shielded from us
By cowards

It does not hide
It fights everyday to be seen

....like me
63 · Jul 11
Hurting Me
ShadowSpy Jul 11
Words can never hurt me
But physical touch can
The bruises on my body
Came long before I ran
I thought closeness was love
But now I see
You are just a part of
Hurting me
sometimes actions really do speak louder then words
62 · Jul 11
Guilt
ShadowSpy Jul 11
Next to her.
Behind her.
Above her.
Below her.
Everywhere.
Guilt.
The words, there's nothing you could have done, echo in her mind.
She doesn't believe them.
Because she knows she could have saved him.
His soft blue eyes stare at her.
She won't apologize because she had to.
But that doesn't mean she will forgive herself.
Ever.
the guilt will always bury me, choke me, never let me go
61 · Sep 15
L O V E ?
ShadowSpy Sep 15
luv?
Lov?
love?
LOVE?

why is that word so alien on paper?
why is that word so foreign to my lips?
why is that word unrecognizable to my eyes?
why does that word leave me empty?
l o v e
61 · Aug 8
My Lifes A Show
ShadowSpy Aug 8
My lifes a show
Filled with sorrow and danger
Its not a promising film
You'll hear them say
As the scenes
Play across the screen
I glance at the audience
The theatre is empty
Except for me
I reach down and stuff
A handful of popcorn
Into my mouth
Hoping that'll stop the sobs
Even though
Theres no one watching
ill tell you, my lifes probably not the movie youll buy a ticket for
58 · Aug 31
Dust
ShadowSpy Aug 31
Just there.
Not sitting.
Not standing.
Not laying down.
So then what?
Nothing.
Dust.
Brushed away.
No.
That’s not what does the harm.
Without a thought.
That is the root of the pain.
Once brushed away, gone forever.
No one will remember.
No one will care.
Nothing.
Dust.
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