Ive always been
Broken.
But,
I thought we're all whole
Before we break.
Lies
Ive always been
Broken.

A whisper in the wind
No ordinary voice could speak

Broken?
Yes.
So she takes it to the fixer.
Broken?
Yes.
So he takes it to the fixer.
The Fixer doesn’t let anyone down.
It fixes the broken, and heals the breakable.
Broken?
Yes.
So it fixes and heals.
Because it is the Fixer.
No one can fix it or heal it.
Because no one knows the Fixer can be broken.

Time has passed
Since I was last here
And I wonder,
Is it because
Im happier now?

Lure me in
With a melody of trust
But bury me deep
Under the dust
Hold out your heart
But tear mine apart
Leave me alone
After the love you have shown

Some days
I lie in bed
Over come by
A sense of dread
Lips trembling
But nothings to be said
Mind tries to get up
But my feet are bricks of lead
Breaking point is near
My hearts already dead

HEARTBREAK

BETRAYAL

PAIN

I see the warning everywhere
But I can ignore them, because,

To have my heart broken
Means for it to have been whole

To feel betrayed
Means to have trusted

To be buried in pain
Means to have been above it at one point

I want to scream
At the little things
That stop me
From being near
Those that I love

You'll know its time to leave
If all the truths you are told
Are just twisted lies
Spoken by a masked figure
You once knew

No one knows the real you
Because that person is forever in your head

The fragile spine breaks
As you read the words
Silenced by my pen

Shadow
Light
No one
in sight
Comet
Star
I am too
Far
Moon
Sky
I wish I could
Fly
Rays
Sun
I cant so Ill
Run

Heaven once spoke
With laughter I feared
Powerful vocals
That threatened me
But time in hell
Let me see
Heaven once spoke
With laughter filled with fear
We have united
But drifted apart so slow
In my mind
I will never let you go

A form of art

Lonely thoughts always find a place in my mind

Stands on the porch.
His gaze set on a lock.
He peers through the keyhole.
Nothing.
Sets off to find it.
What will open her?
What will free her?
Will he?
No.
It will.
But what is it?
He looks.
He searches.
He cannot find it.
He will not give up.
The house is crumbling.
She is crumbling.
He won’t let her fall.
Not now.
He is close.
He can feel it.

There.
He has found it.
So close yet so far.
Why?
Because she has it.
She doesn’t understand.
She will not give the key up.
She doesn’t know what will happen.
The house will crumble.
It will fall.
Not only will it break her, but it will break him too.

If even the lonely among you have someone,
Then where do I stand?

From behind
I hear a whisper
Barely audible
Is my mind a trickster
I turn to look back
But see no one
I know I lack
The things they see
But does that mean
Im not pretty
In the corner I spy
Something standing
Wide eyed
I quickly glance away
from the fear
of him knowing Im a stray
Yes he does
really see me
But thats cause
Im a real beauty

luv?
Lov?
love?
LOVE?

why is that word so alien on paper?
why is that word so foreign to my lips?
why is that word unrecognizable to my eyes?
why does that word leave me empty?

Dont treat me like glass
Because you think Im fragile
Treat me like glass
Because I am beautiful but breakable

Tragedy broke Love's heart
And Loneliness was born

My first true love...
We met through lies
I went on a date,
To my very own surprise

My first true love
We had flirted times before
Nothing serious
Of that I thought I was sure

My first true love
Didnt occupy a thought in my mind
For I didnt see
He was exactly my kind

My first true love
Helped the real me outside
And loved me forever
Even as the fake me died

To like someone
Means your feelings can go deeper
To love someone
Means your feelings have reached the limit
If not passed them

I. Love. You.
Three words,
I never knew could mean so much...
But only when spoken to you.

Let my hands be the pages
That hold your unspoken words
Let my voice be the letters
That refills the pages once burned

I didnt know
How deep I was
Until you found
A piece of me
So lost
Even I didnt know
It existed

At least if you are heartless
You can never be heart broken

Shes supposed to pick me up when I fall
Not put me there in the first place

Who am I to tell you its ok to cry
When I cannot do so myself
Who am I to make you feel strong
When I am so weak
Who am I to let you down gently
When I have been crushed

Who am I to hold out my heart
When not a single of you will take it

There are some days
You should just be able to feel
It in the air
Today is one of them

When the world becomes black
Im almost safe
The impossible becomes possible
And the unreal becomes real
My darkness is kept low
And my imagination flys high
But that can only last for so long
The world will come to color
The impossible will escape out of reach
And the unreal will hide away
My darkness will creep back
And my imagination will be shoved in

But eventually I will go back to the blackness,
Forever
We all will
And then we will be safe forever

Every time this happens,
I wonder
If its a pattern that will ever break,
Or if maybe I should just
Give up?
Its not like anyone cares,
That Im trying.

What I love about us is,
I want to know you
And you want to know me

theres a switch
inside of this body
i call my own.
it flips so easy
turns the lights out so fast,
too fast.
cant control it
cant reach it.
just have to let the ache settle
deep inside my bones.
wait it out
wait for it to leave.
knowing itll be back so soon,
too soon.

Hope wants you to be happy,
But Reality wont let it break you

As we take our first breath
We are handed a tool
Given to us by the creator of the universe

It never leaves our hand
Although we cannot see it
Or feel it
We can sense it

Some are meant to change people
Into better or worse humans

Some are meant to carve the world
Into the place we love or hate

Some are meant to give us hope
Which without we would fall

Some are meant to teach us
What we would never know, other-wise

Some are meant to strengthen us
To become who we really are

Some are meant to save us
Before we disappear

And some are meant to destroy
The better humans we are
The world we love
The hope we stand upon
The knowledge we know
And the strength we lean on

Which tool is in your grasp?

the day
we celebrate
how much a person has grown

the day
we come together with
those we have known

the day
we sing
till the candle is blown

the day
we know
we wont be alone

Leave me in
The icy storm
My burning loneliness
Will keep me warm

I stand at the shoreline
The waves beckon me closer
I listen and step towards the foamy blues
A shiver runs through my body as I step in
I let go of myself as the waves become bigger
Again, they beckon me closer
I listen once more and step closer
This time I dont stop
The waves close in around me
Im surrounded in darkness
I dont feel it as all the light in me leaves
As the ground under me disappears
And I drown

Fluttering Insides
Dizzy Head
Take a step
Do not fall
Right there it is
That which you seek
But my mind
Is playing with me
Feet of lead
Loss of words
I cannot do this
Collapse without words

The universe told him
He could never
would never
love her
enough
to heal
her broken
empty
dark
thundering
heart
but he didnt care
he didnt listen
he loved her
enough
to heal
her now
full
bright
shining
heart

Lurking in the dark
I do not see
He comes around
And buries me
My throat closes in
The world goes black
But I cannot tell
Because Im in the back
When my mind comes to
A masked face stares
I pull away
Hes from my nightmares
My body is bound
My head is throbbing
I can only do one thing
And that is not sobbing
I open my mouth
And out comes
A chorus of chaos

Slash.
Dodge,
Jab.
The chance.
It will only come once.
But you let it go.
Mistake?
Maybe.
The chance.
Only this time, not for you.
It will only come once.
But they don't let it go.
Mistake?
You decide.

I step towards the crowd
Surrounded by
High fives
and
Grinning faces
One stands out though
It is mine
Unlike the others
I do not make eye contact
I do not smile
I do not walk towards
I walk away
From pain
From heartbreak
From betrayal
Maybe one day
This road will lead me
Somewhere far far away
Where I am
Myself
And I can
Be okay with that

Regret scratches at the edges of Grief,
Widening the hole left in my heart

How do you find yourself,
When every part of you thats lost,
Might have never even been there to begin with?

First Impressions
A funny thing
Why does the first time you see me
Define me
Why will that forever affect your thoughts
Of me
And why are they so hard to change

It isnt fair
That you take second chances
All for yourself
And leave nothing for others

I want people to see the truth
Of me
Of others
And of themselves

First Impressions

away from me,
like they always do.

Walking towards the unknown
Seeing nothing familiar
Then
Suddenly I see you
No,
I do not really know you
And no,
You do not really know me
But
You're presence is enough
I tap you
On the shoulder
You turn and smile
Im greeted by love
Even though you do not really know me
You love me
Our friendship is enough

You called me beautiful
And my smile is still here