I don't want to feel better. If I could feel better then life would be beautiful. But I don't deserve beauty, Or love, Or glory. I lost the love of my father, Watching it crumble away into nothingness, And pleading "please don't go."
I'd give anything to miss you one last time. If I could miss you then existing would be painless. But I deserve pain, And hate, And suffering. I lost the love of my mother, Watching it melt between my frail fingers, And screaming "please don't leave."
I don't want to feel better. If I could feel better then life would have no meaning. I don't deserve meaning, Or words, Or tears. I lost the love of myself, Watching it shatter into a million pieces, And whispering "please, just go."
Shatter the mental snares that claim your mind solemnly, Break free from the cycle of repetition that endlessly subjects you to karmic toil, Cleanse your aura of sin to bask in radiance as your soul shines purely, You are an essence from beyond.
Two years ago today Was our one month anniversary Your father wouldn't let me come over He never did approve of us.
Two years ago today I loved you too much I liked the feeling too much I hated life too much
Two years ago today I was surrounded by Six half-full bottles of Cymbalta.
Two years ago today I emptied those pills Into my heart and they Infected my soul.
Two years ago today I had a seizure in my bed And lost all memory Of the week leading up to it.
Two years ago today I was rushed to the hospital Lay shaking in the bed Unable to lift my head.
Two years ago today You visited me, eyes filled with Something I'd never seen in them: Dread.
Two years ago today You climbed into my bed and Held me like you thought I would shatter.
Two years ago today Was the very last day I would ever have You.
Two years ago today I overdosed on my antidepressants. This anniversary is more difficult than the last. On that day, because of that action, I lost the love of my life, and I will never forgive myself.
you might be wondering why it happened. why they did this to you. and they might even tell you it was a mistake. they might even tell you they’re sorry. they might even beg for a second chance. but remember. always remember. that at that very moment. they knew how much it was going to hurt you. they knew how much it was going to shatter your world and turn it on its head. they know how empty and how hard it was going to be on you. and still, they chose to hurt you. and still, they chose the other side. they disrespected you. and they took you for granted. and please believe that, that was not a mistake. that, that wasn’t an accident. because during that moment they knew. and that’s all you have to wonder about. they knew. and they weren’t sorry. and during that time, they didn’t choose you.