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ShadowSpy Sep 27
The beauty of
a broken heart
That doesnt need
to be healed
ShadowSpy Jul 14
Why is it that you can
Wish for things you have never felt

How is it that I can
Wish for something I have never experienced

Is it possible
Is there a chance
Even the slightest

That one day
Someday
I will have it
Right next to me

A friendship
So strong
Neither of us could break it
Even if we tried
im still holding on to hope
ShadowSpy Sep 27
They say
If you run fast enough
All your thoughts
Will finally be left behind
I used to believe that could be true
But I say
If you run fast enough
Youll finally catch up
With all your thoughts
ShadowSpy Sep 27
Always looking for
An explanation why
I never fit in
But facts will always remain facts
I am different
ShadowSpy Jul 11
From behind
I hear a whisper
Barely audible
Is my mind a trickster
I turn to look back
But see no one
I know I lack
The things they see
But does that mean
Im not pretty
In the corner I spy
Something standing
Wide eyed
I quickly glance away
from the fear
of him knowing Im a stray
Yes he does
really see me
But thats cause
Im a real beauty
ShadowSpy Aug 4
Lurking in the dark
I do not see
He comes around
And buries me
My throat closes in
The world goes black
But I cannot tell
Because Im in the back
When my mind comes to
A masked face stares
I pull away
Hes from my nightmares
My body is bound
My head is throbbing
I can only do one thing
And that is not sobbing
I open my mouth
And out comes
A chorus of chaos
ShadowSpy Aug 5
Fluttering Insides
Dizzy Head
Take a step
Do not fall
Right there it is
That which you seek
But my mind
Is playing with me
Feet of lead
Loss of words
I cannot do this
Collapse without words
nerves or love?
ShadowSpy Jul 27
Twisting throughout me
Is
The Color of my Soul

Dull yet shimmering
Rough yet soft
Dark yet bright

It hides what no one will ever see
My darkest secrets and pains
And my brightest memories and joys

The color of my soul
Is meant to be mixed with
The color of your Soul

And meant to become not the Color of my Soul
But the Color of our Souls
ShadowSpy Jul 15
Chin up high
Even though you did this
How many will die, until you notice?
So many smiles are gone
Too many tears fall wronged
How much will we pay?
Until you take this away
COVID-19
We are a team
You will fall
We will stand
Hand in hand
If i could tell COVID 19 anything, it would be these words
ShadowSpy Jul 11
I've always been different,
haven't I?

Yes
sometimes it takes time to accept yourself, but we all have to
ShadowSpy Sep 15
Sink
Drown
Steal my
Crown
Ocean
Wave
No one to
Save
Deep
Down
I am
Underground
Pearl
Shore
I am
No more
ShadowSpy Aug 31
Just there.
Not sitting.
Not standing.
Not laying down.
So then what?
Nothing.
Dust.
Brushed away.
No.
That’s not what does the harm.
Without a thought.
That is the root of the pain.
Once brushed away, gone forever.
No one will remember.
No one will care.
Nothing.
Dust.
End
ShadowSpy Sep 30
End
The words you send
Make my mouth bend
Then I tend
To think of the heart you lend
to me, your friend
whos heart you mend
please let this never end
for my closest friend
ShadowSpy Sep 15
The universe told him
He could never
would never
love her
enough
to heal
her broken
empty
dark
thundering
heart
but he didnt care
he didnt listen
he loved her
enough
to heal
her now
full
bright
shining
heart
ShadowSpy Jul 30
When the world becomes black
Im almost safe
The impossible becomes possible
And the unreal becomes real
My darkness is kept low
And my imagination flys high
But that can only last for so long
The world will come to color
The impossible will escape out of reach
And the unreal will hide away
My darkness will creep back
And my imagination will be shoved in

But eventually I will go back to the blackness,
Forever
We all will
And then we will be safe forever
Falling Asleep and Waking Up.....Then Falling Asleep Forever
ShadowSpy Jul 16
First Impressions
A funny thing
Why does the first time you see me
Define me
Why will that forever affect your thoughts
Of me
And why are they so hard to change

It isnt fair
That you take second chances
All for yourself
And leave nothing for others

I want people to see the truth
Of me
Of others
And of themselves

First Impressions
i wish first impressions didnt always play such a big role in people's thoughts. i know its only natural, but they are so so off and wrong too often
ShadowSpy Jul 15
For reasons unknown
My mind is always filled with darkness
Im always alone
But I am not heartless

I want to see light
But my mind is buried too deep
I have no sight
So I only weep

Maybe I dont deserve it
And Ill be here forever
But I always show grit
No matter, wherever

Say goodbye
Maybe Ill see you one day
That is a lie
Only I would say
-ShadowSpy
ShadowSpy Sep 27
My heart is breaking
For you
But you arent real
How can I feel your pain
But never shed a tear for them
I want to connect
But only you make it possible
And maybe that is because you have no say
Dont treat me like glass
Because you think Im fragile
Treat me like glass
Because I am beautiful but breakable
ShadowSpy Jul 11
Next to her.
Behind her.
Above her.
Below her.
Everywhere.
Guilt.
The words, there's nothing you could have done, echo in her mind.
She doesn't believe them.
Because she knows she could have saved him.
His soft blue eyes stare at her.
She won't apologize because she had to.
But that doesn't mean she will forgive herself.
Ever.
the guilt will always bury me, choke me, never let me go
ShadowSpy Sep 4
She had a heart of gold
So beautiful and bold
Eyes that drew you in
Not looking felt like a sin
Steps as light as dust
Looking was a must
Smile that broke your guard
Not staring was just too hard
how he saw her
ShadowSpy Sep 6
Heaven once spoke
With laughter I feared
Powerful vocals
That threatened me
But time in hell
Let me see
Heaven once spoke
With laughter filled with fear
We have united
But drifted apart so slow
In my mind
I will never let you go
the story of one of my friendships <3
ShadowSpy Aug 24
Twisted truths
Circle around me
Sent by demons
Hiding reality

Look beneath
Look under
Look past

And you will find
What only I know exists
ShadowSpy Aug 7
How could you pick me up
And put me together
Using your own hands
Without a single doubt

Only to push me back down
And break me apart
Using your own feet
Without a second glance

I shouldve known
After all,
Nothing good lasts forever
ShadowSpy Jul 11
Words can never hurt me
But physical touch can
The bruises on my body
Came long before I ran
I thought closeness was love
But now I see
You are just a part of
Hurting me
sometimes actions really do speak louder then words
ShadowSpy Sep 27
I fear standing alone at the edge of the cliff
I fear shaking in the night without a light
I fear living a day without the hope you are somewhere
I fear I will never know you

I am almost at the edge of the cliff
Yet I still stand alone
The darkness is closing in
No light is leading me away
I think of you everyday
But I dont know you are
ShadowSpy Jul 10
Used to be there.
Now she is here.
A moon.
Never seen unless shone upon.
No one knows where she came from.
Across the ocean?
High in the sky?
The top of the mountain?
Didn't matter.
No one saw.
No one noticed.
A question unsolved.
The answer never sought because she was invisible.
Like a chameleon on a tree.
A bird in the sky.
Stars at dawn.
Until the sun came.
The sun’s rays blinded her at first.
Too much.
But then it shone upon her.
Invisible no more.
Im not sure if all of us feel like this at times, but I do know that every moon deserves a sun.
ShadowSpy Sep 19
To take a chance
And risk everything willingly

To trust someone
And let them break your walls

To venture into reality
And find where you belong

To believe everything will be ok
And know it

Is to
LIVE
something we must all do
ShadowSpy Jul 20
Stands on the porch.
His gaze set on a lock.
He peers through the keyhole.
Nothing.
Sets off to find it.
What will open her?
What will free her?
Will he?
No.
It will.
But what is it?
He looks.
He searches.
He cannot find it.
He will not give up.
The house is crumbling.
She is crumbling.
He won’t let her fall.
Not now.
He is close.
He can feel it.

There.
He has found it.
So close yet so far.
Why?
Because she has it.
She doesn’t understand.
She will not give the key up.
She doesn’t know what will happen.
The house will crumble.
It will fall.
Not only will it break her, but it will break him too.
ShadowSpy Aug 8
Its not ok
For me to be here
After all Ive done
Thats the one truth I know
But after all Ive done
Ive also learned
You were never
On my side
ShadowSpy Sep 27
I cant be me
When you are around
I am buried deep
Way under the ground
I want to come out
So scared to make a sound
But someday Im sure
My heart will pound
Let me loose from its grip
To the pain I was bound
I will be known
I will be found
ShadowSpy Aug 7
One
Word
Is all it
Would take
To crush you
Into millions of
Pieces and tear your
Soul into hundreds of shreds
Then throw them in a blazing hot
Fire and watch them burn to ashes in
The cold night where the last of your cruelty
Would keep away the chills and bring me comfort
Fulfilling my last wish for you; to send warmth into the world
ShadowSpy Sep 15
Shadow
Light
No one
in sight
Comet
Star
I am too
Far
Moon
Sky
I wish I could
Fly
Rays
Sun
I cant so Ill
Run
ShadowSpy Sep 16
Black streak
Between slabs of gray
Yellow dashes
Running their way
Head down
Dont hear what they say
Ask for food
When you know you cant pay
Wander outside
The empty cafe
Eyes close
Its been a long day
ShadowSpy Sep 9
Lost;
unable to find one's way; not knowing one's whereabouts.

How do you know
If you are really lost
ShadowSpy Sep 15
Do you
Love her

Are you a
Lover

Are they not the same?
ShadowSpy Sep 15
luv?
Lov?
love?
LOVE?

why is that word so alien on paper?
why is that word so foreign to my lips?
why is that word unrecognizable to my eyes?
why does that word leave me empty?
l o v e
ShadowSpy Sep 5
Lure me in
With a melody of trust
But bury me deep
Under the dust
Hold out your heart
But tear mine apart
Leave me alone
After the love you have shown
sabatoge
ShadowSpy Jul 17
Looking Up
I see your soft face smiling down at me

I thought I was alone
But at night, I never will be
For you will always shine your stolen light on me

I can see the shadows and outlines of the city
They do not let me breathe
Instead, they fill me with dread

Then, I no longer can
Darkness engulfs me and everything around me
Except you

Looking Up
I see your soft face smiling down at me

I thought the fears would always haunt me
But at night, they never will
For you will always shine your stolen light on me

I can see the dusty features and dark flecks on your face
They do not scare me
Instead, they fill me with hope

Then, I no longer can
Light engulfs me and everything around me
Even you

I hold back tears
Because you gave me hope
And I will see you again
ShadowSpy Sep 6
Some days
I lie in bed
Over come by
A sense of dread
Lips trembling
But nothings to be said
Mind tries to get up
But my feet are bricks of lead
Breaking point is near
My hearts already dead
ShadowSpy Aug 8
My lifes a show
Filled with sorrow and danger
Its not a promising film
You'll hear them say
As the scenes
Play across the screen
I glance at the audience
The theatre is empty
Except for me
I reach down and stuff
A handful of popcorn
Into my mouth
Hoping that'll stop the sobs
Even though
Theres no one watching
ill tell you, my lifes probably not the movie youll buy a ticket for
ShadowSpy Jul 16
There comes a time where one will win
The others left to pay for sins
They did not do
They did nothing
ShadowSpy Sep 15
infront of me lies
an empty canvas
i am to fill
with all i have

no words can i write
no strokes can i leave
no color can i show

instead i leave
drops
streaks
waterfalls
of sorrow
that you left
in me
ShadowSpy Oct 8
One
   Step
      At
         A
            Time
For
   I
      Am
         Afraid
If
   I
      Move
         Too
            Fast
I
   Will
      Lose
         Everything
ShadowSpy Jul 11
Walking towards the unknown
Seeing nothing familiar
Then
Suddenly I see you
No,
I do not really know you
And no,
You do not really know me
But
You're presence is enough
I tap you
On the shoulder
You turn and smile
Im greeted by love
Even though you do not really know me
You love me
Our friendship is enough
thank you, to my best friend
ShadowSpy Jul 18
my eyes glaze over
ice burns my soul
another countless night passes
out here on this road
ShadowSpy Aug 4
I want to heal you
But I cannot feel your pain
Please open the door
Ive seen your eyes rain
You feel so hopeless
Yet a smile you feign
Crying cant help you
Let me be your drain
Call out for help
Before you walk down the wrong lane
I refuse to watch you
End your pain
CALL FOR HELP: 1-800-273-8255
Trusted and loved ones are always also an options
Join the fight to prevent suicide, and tag your poem with #StayWithUs
They need us, so be there for them.
ShadowSpy Jul 16
Blazing heart of gold
Can't puncture diamond
But the sunlight can see weakness

Only safe at night
i kinda made this new style(?) of poetry...each line represents someone, but in a way only i understand. and the last line sums it all up (doesnt represent anyone)
ShadowSpy Jul 15
Did I forget?
Did I let go?
Wasnt I there when you needed me most?
All those promises
Each and every one
I followed my heart and didn't run
Did you forget?
Did you let go?
You weren't there when I needed you most
All those promises
Each and every one
You followed what?
I saw you run
ShadowSpy Jul 10
Sitting.
No one notices.
Standing.
No one cares.
One step back.
Two steps back.
A glance or two.
On the edge.
Sorries.
Two hands.
Desperate words.
One hand.
Crying.
Nothing.
Screams.
Not in her head, but in reality.
this isnt only for those thinking about it, its also for those who can help and prevent it
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