he spreads his tiny grey wings before he takes flight,
short-sightedly finding the closet light source he can

he cares not if the light will burn him when he reaches it,
he cares not if the light will last long enough for him to live and die in the warmth

he simply craves the light;
the only survival instinct left in his tiny, temporary body
Glass 8h
the insomnia has converged into
indecipherable 
teeth and skin of strangers that “he only tends to be pessimistic 
when the crucial reasons are
all psychological” but sleepwalking with headaches is
revitalizing (prioritizing) choke holds 
refashioning the way leniency and philosophy 
devour while derelicts are adrift (furtive) and for no reason I am verging 
on the staleness as the exhibition
of 
my nudity trembles of unknowing 
when the rain will cleanse the
dirt
Painting Greys ~ Emmit Fenn
Austin V 23h
I am so tired
maybe of life
maybe from lack of sleep
I really can't tell
but damn am I tired

Every moment
every night
every shining moment of light
I am so...
tired
I can't explain depression to everyone but this is the closest I feel I can get to accurately explaining it.
Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
We can go there
And watch the Angels die

Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
We can go there
& get away from life for a while

Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
We can go there
To Escape the Tide of Eyes

Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
We can go there
Whilst the Heavens Cry

Castle in the Sky...
When We Die
Castle in the Sky...
When We Die
Castle in the Sky...
When We Die
Castle in the Sky...
We can go there...
When We Die!

Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
We Can Go There When We Die
Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
Castle in the Sky...
We Can Go There
When We Die!
When We Die!
When We Die!
We Can Go There
When We Die!!!
Maybe my simplest piece yet. It was actually originally improvised as Rogue Ogre lyrics.
As I reach the last stair,
I discover a high rise shrine
When I stare at the peak,
I'm close to fall on my head

It has a large baroque door,
Not closed, so I enter
I leave all the maps outside
I'm full of spice and zeal

I see an elevator facing me,
push the illuminated buttons,
envelope myself in the dove,
and it takes me as a letter

Into the highest floor, I fly
When I land on the terrace,
the man made-day falls asleep,
and the night sky erupts

I find an abandoned telescope,
remove the dust mask,
put my brown seeing aerola
around the soft eyepiece

The silver optical tube
absorbs my golden vision,
takes it on a celestial mission
Delving into the cosmos in chroma

I see a lumen hanging
like a washing line
between two galaxies
An odyssey to discover my heirloom

Now I'm a brainbox,
I surrender myself to
this luminous flux
It looks like a feeder of earth

Everything turns anaerobic,
when Angeline and her siblings
begin to play trumpets along
A hymn for the Oxygen Crisis

I put all the aerobics in vitro,
in order to live in vivo
I'm in the S shaped column,
the centromere of the soma

In a blink of an eye,
an asteroid hits my lighthouse
My kernel explodes
I'm trapped in a series of epochs

My nom de guerre is Helios
The sun calls me Apollo
Driving a chariot of joy
with two racing horses

Until meiosis begins
A king is announced
when a stallion dies
Nucleus or karyon

And I drop back as an ovum
Embryo into an egg
thrown in a steam
From Eve to a man sunk in debt
thomas 1d
the candle was alive with a twisted flame.
even in the still air, its subtle waves
fluttered in the invisible breeze.
as if this small being was the only
source of light in the universe,
the dim orange glow was alone.
solitary in the empty void.
as time passed, the edges of the world
noticed a change; a rim of light
tinged the universe, and the candle
suddenly was no longer solitude.
other tiny sparks of orange joined it;
together they stood, the light in the black.

and the flames brushed back the dark.
this poem is an attempt to put into words my own experience when i felt so alone in the world, but the lights of my life then sparked the fire that is now in my heart and mind.
like bait you swung before me
as my eyes drooled upon  your every contraction.
tempted with mindless illusions
until you were ingested
only to find your ashes rot upon the glistening surface
of my bones.
and the rest of you
staggers to diffuse out my skin.
there’s something so deeply and inherently terrifying about romantic love and attachment; it’s like giving someone a neatly written postcard detailing all of the various ways in which they could take your heart and pick it apart into a heap of broken fragments.

it’s the fact that you were so agonisingly in love with your sadness that i became (always was?) an afterthought. it’s like mum always said, “you are powerless in the face of someone who doesn’t want to be helped”.

i wanted to soak my skin in your madness and chaos.
to take all of the mismatched jigsaw pieces of your mind and will them to fit together enough to love me back even a little bit.

one day that you will realise that they are just boys. they are boys with closed-off hearts and cynical minds. with their inherent need to drain and empty you of everything you have to offer; with the burning desire to be both fixed and left alone all at the same time.

i actively avoid thinking about the estimated number of minutes i spent trying to burn the imprint of your fingers out of my lungs.
oh honey, one day all these valiant notions of self-sacrifice are going to get you hurt; you won’t know how to tell him that you are in pain.
                                       that every time your knuckles brush against my lips my heart feels like it’s going to give up on itself.

i don’t know what to do with the knowledge that i am heartbroken over someone who is indifferent to my plight, someone who watched the cracks deepen and spread yet still chose to walk away. that’s the problem with feelings; you can’t simply pick them up and store them in a jar for later.

you left and i’m stuck with limbs which ache from the sheer weight of the feelings that i can’t shake.

with gentle fingers full of promise and parted lips you drew confessions from me that i swore would never come; you were messy and indignantly proud of it. your mess leaked into mine and for a few precious minutes we coexisted in our state of disarray.

your hands knew me far better than your heart ever did;

it must have been so dark up there, on the pedestal that i nailed you to. a martyr for your cause, i tried to tie your wrists to mine in a desperate fear of being alone again.

all i wanted from you was to coexist but you were never shy about telling me that, for you, that wasn't enough.
When your fire has dimmed, someone will come along and be the energy that saves you. The energy that keeps you burning. The energy that keeps you alive.

You were the coal, I was the fire.
You came when the situation was most dire.
I was burnt out, all that was left was glowing embers,
You lent me your happiness, and made me remember.
I fed off your love,
It’s not something I’m proud of.
I needed no oxygen, for you were my air,
Little did I know, that was the beginning of an nightmare.
My love for you only grew and grew,
I forgot what it was like to be blue.
To me, you were the kindest,
And you allowed me to shine my brightest.
But then I became greedy,
You didn’t like people who were needy.
Slowly you extracted yourself from me,
I guess you were right to flee.
For I was a wildfire,
And my demands became higher.
After months of starvation,
You did not answer my pleas for salvation.
My own bitter tears put out my flames,
My sorrow became my chains.
Weaker and weaker I started to feel,
What if I would never heal?
Once again I became ember and ash,
I started to act rash.
Crying and crying,
The constant stream of tears was terrifying.
Crying and crying,
I am no longer flying.
Crying and crying,
My fire is dying.
I put myself out bit by bit,
I had no more reason to stay lit.
Although I think you know,
That you leaving me was the final blow.
i didn't want to finish writing this, because if i did, then it would truly symbolize the end of us. And i don't want to, because i'm still clinging onto the hope that none of this is real.

perhaps one day i'll believe otherwise.
Madolyn 4d
I have a dark, slithering thing
it lives in me
curled up in the cavity
just above my stomach
it only awakes
to eat and destroy
feasting on my emotions
and destroying my self-confidence
as my other emotions are slowly dying
to where I cannot feel them anymore
the dark, slithering beast
gives me one emotion
it is the only emotion
envy
I turn jealous and hateful
unable to smile with the beast showing me
how everyone is so much better
it hisses to me:
your best friend is funnier and nicer
your girlfriend more talented and pretty
they will turn away eventually
for you have no good qualities

I can’t bear to hurt anyone
so I turn to isolation
the great, slithering beast turns on me
and from the inside out
tears me to shreds
Everyone I love is so much better than me, and I dread the day they realize I’m nothing compared to them, and finally leave me
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