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Zero Nine Oct 2017
Oh,
Another 5 second ad
So harmless,
harmless!

Oh,
Another 5 second ad
I can't ****
- ing skip!

It's
Not that I've not the time
-- I do!

It's
because we've
figured how
to fit
the least
necessary ****
into
just
one
blink!

What is typical is shown
What is me is mostly unknown
I don't want to be the ghost in your eyes
before I've lived, before I'm dead
sometimes it's easier than others to feel like a product.
Zero Nine Oct 2017
My human body      
              stings of age
                     ache and pain
My human bone
              breaks
My human strength
              decays

My human form
              twists, deforms
                     courts mirrors
My anxious nerves
              burn
My fragile heart
              stops

Make my limb
Make my life long
Take my parts
Make me evolve

make my limb                                                                                        

                                                                                     make my life long

make my heart                                                  


                                              beat, eternal            

I long for painlessness
Bless this beautiful ship I control,
but I would trade the ephemeral
  flesh, bone, blood and marrow
to the first back alley broker
of cheap plastics I meet
get me out of here, quick.
Zero Nine Oct 2017
I can't recall what I did
When you fill my head with lies
Recollection, it won't happen

When these haunted eyes pull back
That flesh canvas turns black
As the starless night

I see your bare face right there
Clear, as in a lucid dream
I lose control to passion
You knew you left our bedroom

With the gas turned on

Your face --
I want to smash it

I won't wander where I go
In darkness, alone
With a gaslight
For Cindy/Sid
Zero Nine Oct 2017
It's been heard I'm adequate with words
If only they knew,
they knew less
than the full
story

It's been said I'm blithe, articulate
I'm pleasant at that
That I have
and want not's
compensatory
transitory

In the end, I'm worth forlorn words, no more
In the end, my has-been charm goes dead weight
In the end, I'm your additive to the dull days
In the end, my gains come from a snake's tongue

In the end,
I'm nothing
but words
for reading

black lies
on the white light
of a flat screen

In the end,
I've nothing
but words
beneath me
beneath me

Beneath me twists and turns the caverns where my heart grows.
I call it art to your face, when I'm a broker by trade.
You won't know that you trade, you won't see that I sell myself.
You won't feel the hidden strings on your cervical
spine until you've given your food, four walls, window and door,
given your love to a dead duck scanning for escape.
at certain things, i excel
but in doing them i hurt myself
Zero Nine Oct 2017
I see your skin and I think
What did I do to deserve this blessing?
The God that I call chance
Would see my hands on a masterwork?
The American work week
covers your flame. You leave it at the door.

You wait to speak until you get close
You get close as it gets to say this:
I'm battered and bruised, think
you could relax me a little bit?
Want to take off your shirt?

For you,

I can't take my clothes off fast enough

Then you,

Tell me, "Shut the blinds, first."

Can we open the blinds?
I don't care who's watching
-- if you don't.
Let light in.
Let light in.

Who cares who's watching love?
For her. The first new permanence that kept.
<3
Zero Nine Oct 2017
Sweet TV
You & Me
Got a date
We touch
I learn

Whose
lives
mean
most

Which
truth
sounds
most

like
the
world
I
want
around
me

These shoes barely fit, but look fantastic
The uncanny caricatures sure seem to be
the ends to my meager means

These drive-thru aspirations taste like ****
I am born nuclear, and I am lightning fast
without self-assessment

Why would I ask?
Why would I want
to be stripped of speed
in a place that wants me
on the floor, dead or poorly
resourced to save the handful
of golden few, who sit in thrones
stitched in skin and filled with blood
at the spine of the world, watching while
me, my family, my friends and the neighborhood
burn up in linen and cotton tattooed with American green

-- I want above, to look down from the top.
**** everyone else.
i was born in a pair value village sweat pants
this is for everyone else born in a trailer, born in a project,
born into a broken family, born with preternatural traits in
a society of judges, keepers, and enforcers.

we're not each others' enemies.
we're the foundation.

and who cares who kills who when Elon Musk
will save you from Earth, and take you to space?
Zero Nine Oct 2017
Traveled this road
times before
It would be true
to say I drive
in circles
so I won't

So I won't say it
I won't say it

I won't say it
I won't say

I'm broken
You can't fix it with words
All I need is you
to want to hear
me speak
For once
listen

I'm here
I'm ears
Let me
hear you say

I won't say it

You're bare
You're open
Let me
taste your salt

I can't do that

I can't do good

to myself

It's endless
keep setting those
personal fires
one of these convictions,
from the ash
you'll rise
anew

i'd hate to end on a sullen note
so i won't
Zero Nine Oct 2017
Left my heart in one with you
now, it's in two.

I return to find
the foundation
of my life

Ripped up
Roses clipped
The garden
closes in
a bed of grey

I return to find
the foundation
of my life

Removed professionally
Disconnected
Cautiously clamped, and taken
from the veins

Why!?

You're the
empty
meadow
in my
memory

The tome forgotten
The lost home

Why!?

Ani - mos - ity
grows over time
Ani - mos - ity
grows old and cold

I plead my case
to time,
"Be kind."

Thunder:
the resounding,
"No."

I return to find
the foundation
of my life

Ripped up
Roses clipped,
the garden
spoiled
under your shoes

Left my heart in one with you
now, it's in two.
Zero Nine Oct 2017
the acid talk really put me onto you
the specifics did it. precision cement.
the way you fill the silence, violently
**** victim defender. defender of what?
if you stuck to one version of your rules
you'd hear your disgusting tongue, you
would taste what you say and purge

you were in so many places at once
you touched the stars. drank in bars.
according to your true story account
the child soldier. soldiered psych wards.
for all that i know, i know no more truth
i know, i know, i know i let you in but i
can't truly know such an obvious liar
nor believe it in my core that you're a friend

what do you want from me?
the steel trap that memorized my paychecks
what do you want from me?
the cancer factory that steals all my class A's
what do you want from me?
what do you want?

your verse your version
infects my art

never have i ever been so tempted to spend
money over the internet

much too much too
curious
everyone knows one
i made a bad habit out of knowing too many
Zero Nine Nov 2017
I say I'm
not looking
for love but
I'm looking
I'm catching
cold glances
from eyes filled
with the weight of
sorrow been cast in gold
My purposeful fingers
reach up for money from
the gutters, this,
is just what I'm told.
Enter my ears,
enter my eyes,
enter my skin,
into my lungs.
I'm not breathing
oxygen if I exhale
byproduct. I'm out
of luck, won't press it.
I'm out of reason in
speech. Beyond
preventable death.
Regret, turned to
malice. Chest
compression. I
could have been
a good person.
What value in gold,
if I have you?
Zero Nine May 2017
Don't be afraid to
come into the backroom.
Part the curtain first
if you think you need a peek,
but honey, I've been waiting
here with all the answers.
You'll see.

What do you seek from this trans-trash
patch of bleached grass? Underneath,
infinite versions of me/my design holes,
tunnels in mud searching for sunshine.
But I want to ask you, who claims the noose?
Who gets to rise past the others in the end,
but then gets the knife so as to start again?
All ants, all ants, pull all but two legs loose,
and you're dancing in pants, wearing the tune
of the long, last living human in blues.
....

Inspired by the various works of David Lynch and Die Antwoord
Zero Nine May 2017
Balding
Man-child
Hair line
Receded
Retreated
From face
To shoulder
To lower back

Never friend
Neutral
Poor choice
Painful words
Requested
Your halt
Your cease-fire
Human respect

I got none

A poison dipped
misunderstanding

A venomous
self righteousness

Brewing, pointed
behind your back
...
Pehind lol
Zero Nine Jun 2017
People laugh,
I hurt
But I don't mind
Gender is the joke
I am the punchline

Fighting for
the binaries
when our
expression is
undefined

If I die
then I'll be
the last bit lived true
My angry people
may take my body
since I'll
not be back
For myself and all my others.

Inspired by Morrissey's debut solo album, "Viva Hate" (1988)
Zero Nine Mar 2017
I thought you were my friend
we shared herb and spirits
with an addict in recovery
I've never really left this town like you
I broke my new tablet
while watching ducks from rocks
This ***** river bank
This ***** city may
Be the only ocean for me
...
Zero Nine Jun 2017
Why
Why lie?
I won't learn to love you
If you'll not have my face
Between your splayed legs
If you'll not want yours at
My deeply undefended
Base root all the same
Drink our shame
Get drunk on
our body
kava
kava
.
notes go here
Zero Nine May 2017
I heard your heartbeat
Down below, deep in your thigh
I chose your leg hair
Over the pillow's cool side
...
Zero Nine Sep 2017
Back again to the black skin over heavy sands
Back in action at the totem effigy
Poised for fight or love
The brother/sister
I've become

Standing tall
Under weight of worlds long felled
Sleeping sheets wake, hold the bones again
From old days
Fly the knife hooks, ship and sail
Speeding, open, for the circle's end
recently set up a heavy bag on the back patio. years out of practice and out of shape, yet it all comes back.
Zero Nine Mar 2017
I find
Myself once again
Captured
Caught with a friendly misconception
Wildlife
Creatures of a type cannot be
Let close
Trusted to let go
Even
Given the grace to open
Inward
Fold
I'd turn if I could but I could only turn to this.
Zero Nine Aug 2017
I couldn't help notice in my devotion
to your pink lips, sweet breath,
from your deep depths, the impending
kiss that follows the free spit
of a wordsmith tastes more unpleasant
since you quit calling a noose
a noose, gave the blind spot presence.
wut?
Zero Nine Apr 2017
Digital.
Words meant to hear
now float in aether.
The taut bowstring
of progress murders
growth. Did I speak right?
I'm interfaced. No words
were misspoken.

Digital.
Analog dreams
sink below radio
active energies.
A face for a name,
a name to a face.
Several worlds await
my input.

Digital.
I wear more faces
that I own by proxy
than I show my own.
If the skin doesn't fit,
I have other names
and more skin.
I'm interfaced.
...
Zero Nine Apr 2017
Lactose. She got lactose
poisoning the third time.
You can eat only so many
day old, tepid spoonfuls
of ice cream until weakly,
your insides cry out.
Perpetual abuse. She's
got abuse for herself saved
for every occasion. Nightly
stumbles down ill lit alleys
that seem too much like
her home. What does
medication do when it is
over prescribed? Better
yet she thought caught in
a sweat under wet sheets
What does medication do
when not taken?
Feelings like needles
all over the body, memory
as present as present day.
Pills rattle the porcelain.
The last pained, solemn
echo of song before the
chords rest and leave her
Alone.
....
Zero Nine Apr 2017
This is how we go
how it goes where
it goes, why, though?
Why, though?

Could be any reason.
Smoke all day.
Could be, could be.
**** keeps thought
coming open on it
honest in a beautiful
way. Could be any
reason. Then what of
the stressed breath
exhalation, my others?
What of the imprint
apathy? I alone live in
fear, with so many
fearful near. It must be
most of us but if it's only
some, then where's the
map to you, lonely? Puff
and cough and deliver
words we want in ear at
the close of any day. I
could picture myself dying
every night, go from dance
to stand to sit, to bone from
clay to sand from grasping
in embrace with you.

This is how we go
how it goes where
it goes, why, though?
Why, though?

Could be any reason.
Could be, could be.
...
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Innocence
becomes
passe
Sin again
within
favor
Gestures of genuine penance,
all shall be refused
Jaded to the long term touch
I shall now renew
Sin
     Again
               Within
                           Favor
Sin
     Again
               to
                  Favor
Balcony beckons escape to only fetishists' invites
God would not rain *** and skin in test
So
   Remain
                Godless
....
Zero Nine Jul 2017
What is maintenance? My life has to be cold,
planned, full of calculation. Otherwise, what?
Otherwise, I'll be old at thirty-five, bold, but too close

to a tragic slip, toes in the grass by open graves,
when peers gather, grow on pavement past the gates.
My life has to be cold, planned, full of calculation.

Otherwise, the most vital, underlying systems
yell in warning lights, compromised. You may
not think it problematic, but I can't interpret
signs of my demise already six feet down,

now can I? That's why I (we): clean, sort,
scrub, update outdated thoughts, as if
otherwise, I (we) cut the years I'll (we'll)
survive.

Open my chest for me, you,
lovely human you. Your
scent rises through the rain.
Could I live the way you live,
I would. But I can't, and I know that.
So let me react to your input,

open my chest for me
open my chest for me

open my chest for me
open me
Zero Nine Oct 2017
hey,

i've sent u text messages
i've sent u friend requests
i don't know how to find you
is it even your number, still?
is it that you're still pretending
you don't know me?

listen,

what happened, happened
i slipped on purpose to try
i hit my head on the toilet
when i woke i was concussed
just and only, alone, lonely
without my friend

could i close my eyes
and go back in time
i'd go back and
choke myself out

i think of you once a day
no one asks, if they did
i'd go outside
sing as in prayer

hey,

if you need time between
the moment you left and
the moment you see me,
take all the time you need
but remember I love you,
let me know you're alive

listen,
listen
close,

the lines i crossed
i crossed easily
i'm sorry,
see me

i've never been so
ready to apologize
then again,
what does
that mean
when i'm
the one
you don't
mind is
gone?

hey,

i'll have you know, the life
you wanted and were in
was no more kind to me
the lover i loved from you
took advantage of my love
and infected me --

i hope you're still out
I still live in hope that you'll decide I'm worth your time again.
I made so many mistakes. I want to rectify them.
I don't deserve it, do I?
Zero Nine Apr 2017
Don't remember that time when --
Cut with your choice of blades
Your choice of sharps used
to impale. Because if it hurts
the body no room for more
sensation.

Don't remember that time when
the outcropping felt closer than
ever and the thought of the edge
felt better than any lingering
memories of love.

What's loss when your
destiny's ash?

Don't remember --
cut with your choicest of blades
when it means salvation
from darker
sensations.
.....
Zero Nine Mar 2017
There are, for sure, a few certain things I miss
We could destroy each other's sense of self
And then be twisting in a broken bed
How did it feel? Do you sometimes remember, too?
Reverse genitals, you ****** me, deliverance
My first *******, you went deep
And I could feel you had an IUD
How did it feel?

Let me try to find the right words to describe
This hole of dissonance

You helped build this empire
Now it is burning, lost to ash

Unending hatred begins with vehemence
And pauses when I'm on my back

I can still feel your mouth on me
And your fingers in my ***
You must hate me like I do. I'll be okay.
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Scream,
"You will not defeat me,"
from the summit of your lungs
This
arterial winter
is all over and all done
I want the rain to smother us,
one nose to another
sharing the air
at the corner of Fifth and Couch
I want the silence between us
sinking heavily
while enjoying
the rare absence of spoken word
I want you filling my chest
with the bumps that were
lost to view some time ago,
like we share phantom sensations
from before we knew love
Scream,
"Return my youth to me,"
acid dripping from your tongue
We can sing in song
Is this the end or the beginning?
Probably both.
Zero Nine Apr 2017
Why am I alive?
Without fate, what's the point?
I believe in fate, I do.
I was born to die, like you.
To live connected. Disconnected.
I am an image macro.
The part and sum of an underground facebook group.
.......
Zero Nine Aug 2017
She touched me where I wanted
Our whiskey breaths
Mixed turned
Innocent lips
To ember, orange
To grey, to ashes

Though, turns the touch most wanted
Won't

It just won't
Zero Nine Jun 2017
Get the sudden feeling that I
I'd be as at home in earth as on
Because I get home to no messages
Which means no one knows me and the
ones who know me must barely care
I get the sudden feeling that half
the reason I have for living
ultimately isn't there
Zero Nine May 2017
You ever have one of those days
where you wake despite insight
that the pain of
familiar faces
accumulates til the paved walks
and dirt ways
save no blank spots?
Shame, shame falls down
my bare body to a blocked drain
past dye stains, as
all I do of late
is smoke **** and wash, ignore
the front door knocks.
...
Zero Nine Sep 2017
I want to ask you to be more meteorite than devoted
I want to ask of second tries when the first was pointless
I want your flesh in flames, defeated by the fire inside
I want you momentary

Time on Earth is short so I raise my lowered eyes,
Cast them at one lucky star and liberate my lowly heart
With a below breath, whispered wish:

I want to ask you to be more like me than yourself
I want to ask the impossible and punish your failure
I want your utter burnout to match my speed of entry,
Air to ground, apparently

I have not ever considered myself of worth
I never adapted to the loneliness of adult life

Time on Earth is short so I raise my lowered eyes,
Cast them at one lucky star and liberate my lowly heart
With a below breath, whispered wish:

Let me know it's truly you when I see your face on Mars.
Better be careful with this one. I feel so powerfully, that there's high potential I'll get pinned.
Zero Nine Jan 2017
And this Winter, unlike the past deaths through my life,
may offer motion toward a place from here
With my heart broke, as he departs in the night,
carried memories let in tears still travel hard
May my motion, then be truly swift to mirror his,
to futures on the East horizon
Zero Nine May 2017
I've been taking hormones for right around three years now, and I know it isn't long in contrast to the length of adventures others have had, but I'd like to describe what it's been like here on this side. I haven't made many other queer friends as I have this fearful feeling of dread that my inclusion into the community depends on the dedication I commit to being a walking means to the end society has deemed fit the only end in store for me. Folk like me, I think -- imagine at least -- get their breadth of emotion choked in the fall between spokes of the wheel. I retain, that within the other is another other, deeper still beneath the tired paradigms, mired lower in pain and shame til the next.
Free form stream of consciousness.
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Do you remember pooping while you were high?

No.

Pooping when you're high is like waving goodbye to your best friend in slow motion.

We need to do our taxes, that would help.

Don't we have another month?
Life gets in the way.
Zero Nine Jun 2017
Dulled bright blue as last of light
but time is night.
Where are the stars?
The Summer has eaten the refuse
electricity left.
What is want?
Blame people for the worst.
What is left?

What's left:

(thick skinned upright shells like cars so well developed for speed that the time they took to make is now time we save with quick cuts with content cut from cloth for your hands romantic now only in dream)
Zero Nine Jul 2017
No device,
I

Hate
I hate my life.
Zero Nine Mar 2017
I do pray for something but
in the end, nothing comes
I fight the urge while waking
through the tepid days,
that I deserve the specific
happiness of feeling hand
and mouth to skin
The wish,
ceaseless, I crave nothing more
And I
do pray for nothing so
in the end, all is dust

In the end, I
Means altogether nothing
Baptize me with water, then
Waste washing downward from heaven in rain
Ascetic by accident, boiling over
Up from down below
Zero Nine Nov 2017
Hear the heart cry
**** the lungs dry

I give you time
I give you sweat & blood
I give you devotion
I give you love
In offer

Bite the lip numb
Make me succumb

I give you time
I give you sweat & blood
I give you devotion
I give you love
In offer

Angels of envy
Give sacrifice
While I admire
The view from here

In quiet night
In shapeless shadow
I scry & chant
The view from here                                                         hurts.
Zero Nine Nov 2017
Hope below the moonlight
Invested in nonsense
Believing if there's hope
Life won't need to end

Childhood, so sweet,
put holes in my teeth
Innocent nightmares
bear cruel realities
They grow there

Hope below the moonlight
Invested in nonsense
Believing if there's hope
Passion grows, endlessly
She was wrong

Fire gets the rain
Smiles wither
Teeth rot
Empathy opens
Invites love
Invites pain

Time expedites
The threshold dips lower & lower
The balance upsets
Love disappears
Pain envelopes

Now I can't feel
Why would I
not want that?
Zero Nine Nov 2017
...
Saw you on the balcony
Saw you on the asphalt
Going to your car? So,
"Hello" is what I get,
and all of it.

Saw you at the office, I
Saw you at the pharmacy
First day, your new job. So,
I won't take your time away
Thank you for the pills

Fight and fight the feeling
but there's no fight to fight.
My routine is writ in river rock,
you're looking beautiful, free,
even if your phone is in your head,
and you've routine like me.

Romance and its fickle game
stitched me up young
After years, there's no way
to escape getting better
It's better now and I'm devout
to no one but myself, but
it's been forever since
I've seen as sweet a face
when each morning delivers
bitter afternoons before
the night brings reminders
your entire day is hate.

Amber, Oceanic Blue, and Violet
In the sky, particles align

You trace the stars for me
You make me feel what I seek
Is more than drawn in dream
...
Zero Nine Nov 2017
This is nonsense
Non-sequitur
My care's breakfast
Love break away
It's gone by night
It's out of sight
What you take away
You **** out right away
I go forgotten
Not about to let on
That I want you back
Inside my ramble
Its the bramble
Push your arm through
If you can't or won't
Don't fret,
I've got money for the TriMet
This is nonsense
Non-sequitur
The hidden truth
between the words
Zero Nine Nov 2017
In bed
On the couch across the room
Futon
Folded over me
Folding my dreams
Into napkins,
shaped and dyed
Outside
4 AM bathing in rain
Inside
You sleep easily
You dream sweetly
Into madness,
I stay awake
Through night,
Petrified

Misunderstood
the saccharine
Too passionate
Far too naive
Misunderstood
the promises
Blood for caffeine
Dreamless
(Sweet dreams)
Zero Nine Nov 2017
I was a trap the last time they looked.
They saw me now, they saw me, saw I as I is now
I wasn't a trap last time I looked.
I saw me then, I saw me, saw I as I ever
Last I checked, I wouldn't get
after your sacred *** -- it's cute that you're afraid.
Last I checked, I wouldn't get
after your bible *** -- not even were I paid!

Though, that was then, and now is here.
Those aspirations, declare them dead.
Those old roads ended, I left for highways.
Those highways laid pink and blue lines.
Those definitions left me seeing red.

Last I checked, I wouldn't get
after your bible *** -- not even were I paid!

But, if you offered it, that would be a different story.
:)
Zero Nine Nov 2017
Thought I was high
Then, I felt a memory
Thought I was high
Thought I was safe
Then, I felt some emotion

What if I sold my soul for the green of grass?
What if I smoke my ambition in a bowl?
What if I bake the little dough I make?
What if I'm red-eye all day?

Then, I'm a peasant.

What if I send my nightmares away, ablaze?
What if I exchange the pain in my body for body rolls?
What if I buy a ticket to ride, unafraid of eyes?
What if I'm dead all day already?

Then, I'm lifted.
Zero Nine Nov 2017
Set the mood
Redline
Build the hill
Fill that stem
Inhale. Hold it in.
Take that breath
Relax. Just relax.

I'm  waving the smoke away
Both hands  extensions of
the atrium  that primes the pump
I'm  beating as bleating
Green veil  is parted re  -  vealed
Reveals  the one I'm afraid of  -  the
old me

I'm  counting days defeated
Dead days  used my blood took
the look that I sculpted and weaponized  - it
as something other

Set the mood
Lazerhawk
Build the hill
Fill that stem
Inhale. Hold it in.
Take that breath
Relax. Relax. Relax.

How am I  a slave to myself  I wonder
I wonder

How am I  a slave?

How am I  a slave to myself  I wonder
I wonder

I  ride the ghost train
I  deify  the old ghosts  -  I
I  never meant to board forever  -  I
Am shadow. Am product. The Ubik.
I  deify  the past as answer  -

nothing left to say
nothing left to say

(01101100 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101 00100000 00100001 01101100 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101 00100000 00100001 01101100 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101 00100000 00100001 01101100 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101 00100000 00100001)
Nine is the number. 3 x 3. The grid and the line's end.
Zero Nine Nov 2017
5 0 0 pieces or more
spill over six accounts
5 0 0 holes for fingers
opened over my skin
so  when  will i learn
to use my feet to seek?
so  when  will i learn
the blood  i  squeeze
will in time run dry?
the gills  that i cut
will swallow the knife?
no time better than now
no time like the present
  to remember to breathe
remember to walk toward
  not away
a comet on legs leaving
trails of  meteorites
no  time  better than now
the ropes of the past lace
through the toes to the wrists
how long has it taken?
how lucky am i that i
filled the flesh canvas
with angry scars and
still  have the  knife?
5 0 0 pieces or more
spill over six accounts
5 0 0 holes for fingers
opened over my skin
the detective is done
with the cold  case  blues
the detective is done
penning I 2 U s
there are enough mountains today
tomorrow and on for the detective
to be insane as long as they want
the detective is done
  with  the  cold  case  blues
   so case closed
So many pieces over so many accounts. I've hit so many angles, conjured so many demons, found so much harmony in the echoes of an old, rightfully retired dissonance. I'm at another point in life where I'm ready to initiate a paradigm shift and say a so long. This is the last personal narrative I plan on writing for as long as I can help it. I'm really looking forward to putting all that crap in containment and concentrating on creative projects. If you've liked what you've read so far, keep an eye out for a collaborative project with Toby (of HP) sometime in the future.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for writing.
- Zan
Zero Nine Jun 2017
It's not enough
that I'm the one
player trying
I know
my worth
It's no less
than what I deserve
A secret,
though,
sweetie:
It's one thing to play
confidence proficient
It's another to be confident
The heart that I invite
others to carve is closed,
demolition on hold,
but you've
got your
hold on me
I'm looking for a bold soul
to smooth over the hole
appreciate the bold in me
Active love is involuntary.
So be involuntary.  
It's not enough
that I'm the one
player trying
I know
my worth
It's no less
than what I deserve
That's the bitter truth,
that I reach for you
while you never see
Zero Nine Mar 2017
I promise
I won't ever break your heart again
Take advantage of your devotion
Razors up through my throat
the verses I sweetly lie through
secret smiles, my seething teeth vibrate
The weight of words in pixel and ink
May keep the cold truth freezing
The virulence hiding behind
what once were naive eyes
fed and sleeping in chains
One sweet word,
Is all I have left
If it's even that
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