Lauren 7d

It is everywhere
On the radio
In my friend’s eyes
Right in front of me

It is part of life
The happy ending to every book
Part of life’s plan
What makes us human

It is a milestone
The progression of dating
Then marriage
And children

It is society’s solution
The one for sadness
For mental illness
To keep going when the world falls apart

It is why I am different
Unable to relate to the subplots in movies
To my friend’s love lives
And will not ever have the option to

It is what the world will not understand
Why it calls me heartless
Unloving
And vile

It is inescapable
In the name of who I am
The name of my community
Aromantic

It is the reason I feel alienated
Because love is love
But I cannot love
At least not in the way the world wants me too

Sometimes living as an aromantic person is hard. Just some thoughts on living in a world where romantic love is everywhere, but you can't feel it.
Carter Ginter Nov 13

These emotions swirl around my mind
Like the glowing leaves outside
Yellow anxieties, orange excitements, and red passions
All intermingling to create something divine
For those who don't understand
It appears disorganized and unnatural
But as sure as leaves return to trees in the spring
My feelings will continue to bloom for someone
More than one
And that's beautiful

Carter Ginter Nov 13

Feelings overflowing
Dripping from the cracks in my heart
Coursing through my veins
The excess seeps into my lungs
And I can't breathe

I watch you carefully
Trying desperately to read you
But like a million books in foreign tongue
I cannot follow the lines
Enough to reach a valid conclusion

The distance between us is stiff
My body aches with the tension of this anxiety
And though I avoid eye contact mostly
Sometimes I let myself slip

While it felt so wrong before
I'm learning to love myself
And embrace this capacity
To love multiple people at once
I'm slowly accepting my feelings for you
Swimming alongside my love for her

And here we are
Waiting patiently for what?
We have the perfect chance at something
Anything
And we embrace every minute of it

Every flirty text that makes my heart race
Every tear spawning from our partners' faces
The beautiful distance between us
Without the pressure and rush often associated with love

We sacrifice our energy on loved ones who don't understand
The true extent to which some humans can love
We endure the pain of supporting confused partners
So we can spend that extra time getting ready
To look cute for a simple conversation on my couch

I'm happy this way
Free from the socialized constraints of monogamy
Allowed to feel freely
To love freely

And regardless of where this experience leaves us
I'm going to embrace every opportunity it offers
And though our path is terrifyingly unmarked
I couldn't feel more at peace with it

Zan Balmore Nov 11

I was a trap the last time they looked.
They saw me now, they saw me, saw I as I is now
I wasn't a trap last time I looked.
I saw me then, I saw me, saw I as I ever
Last I checked, I wouldn't get
after your sacred sex -- it's cute that you're afraid.
Last I checked, I wouldn't get
after your bible sex -- not even were I paid!

Though, that was then, and now is here.
Those aspirations, declare them dead.
Those old roads ended, I left for highways.
Those highways laid pink and blue lines.
Those definitions left me seeing red.

Last I checked, I wouldn't get
after your bible sex -- not even were I paid!

But, if you offered it, that would be a different story.

:)
Laurel Leaves Nov 11

She used to lick
my hip bones as if they created a special taste
specifically for the tip of tongue  
sides of me would squirm while she danced rhythmically above
sunlight was made from the strands of her
dripping hair
I would perk my lips
gesturing my existence to the sound
of her fluttering lungs
at each giggle  
patches of grass tickled below my back
small specks of clouds
planes racing from the ground
I felt her voice
in the coils of
percolating vowels
safe precocious sounds.

I still wear the clothes you bought me
Especially at night
And on my dates
That weekend you asked me to think of you
To not forgot what we have
I didn't listen back then
But I remember to do it every day now

I don't want you to be
Just another date I remember
Every year that goes by
I don't want to have to think about how we were
And how it'll never be again
But what I want brought us into this mess of a situation
And what you feel could take us out of it
Or leave me here to suffocate in it

I made a playlist the other week
It bleeds with the sound of us

All those songs you loved
Whether I liked them or not

I listen to them every night
Crying myself to sleep through this pain

Anyone would think I'm crazy
To keep doing this to myself

But the songs echo in my brain
Whether they play out loud or not

And I shouldn't get to live freely
After hurting you so badly

So I'll slowly kill myself with this sadness
And the physical pain of this heartbreak

My chest aches
And my lungs scream

These sobs choke every last breath
And the sounds send me away

Lost in the memories of us:
Driving in your car across the bridge listening to the Killers
Up in your town for Christmas vibing to Grace VanderWaal
Singing different parts to the acapella beauty of Pentatonix
Rocking along to the song we said we'd sing at our wedding

I'm afraid that I can't face life without you
I'm afraid of myself
And I'm afraid for it to snow

Because then the memories won't be just in my head

You'll be everywhere
More than you already are

And I could be dead.

Playlist:
Little Do You Know
A Girl, a Boy, and a Graveyard
Floral and Fading
Bad Things
White Winter Hymnal
Mr. Brightside
Shadowplay
I Don't Know My Name
Beautiful Thing
Clay
Light the Sky
Gossip Girl
Ace

I am not
the one that
got away:
I was never
there
to begin with.

I am the
hopeless crush:
there is a
divider here
separating me
from those
who can love
as I cannot.

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