Take a sip of my Ginger Beer
Baby why don't you try it
Don't bite the pillow darling
We don't have to be quiet

Honey you're smoother than a gillette
My feet feel like they got wings
Blue feathers ready to flit
I'll be your modern Hermes
Delivering oh so many violets
To Nancy, Molly, and Mary Louise
If you want it than baby you got it
Why don't you lift that shirt for me

Green carnations and golden daffodils
You're the one that I want, the one I fancy
Tell me to jump and sweet thing I will
You make me weak, for you I'm a pansy

First draft lol, if you don't get it check the tags and google it

I thought I lost the best part of me
When you walked out so easily
Now I realize that you leaving
Saved the deepest part of my sanity
You tortured my mind and made me sick
I'm fucked in the head from all your shit
I wasn't wrong to love you
No, I was wrong to stay
But I know in my heart that
You'll regret it one day

Cause you broke me down
And destroyed my heart
I gave you my all
Now I want out!
You left so long ago but
Left this curse on me
I'm finding escape
In shit I don't believe
But What else can I do
When I never fucking sleep

The years of these blades
And the gallons of poison
In no way compare
To the place you have me in
Conditioned my mind
To sensor my thoughts
Just to avoid
The brutal nights when we fought
And I was never enough
It was always the same
Even when you fucked up
I was always to blame

Cause you broke me down
And destroyed my heart
I gave you my all
Now I want out!
You left so long ago but
Left this curse on me
I'm finding escape
In shit I don't believe
But What else can I do
When I never fucking sleep

All those nights spent alone
When I needed you most
Should have been enough
To convince me to go
But no, I stayed with you
Did whatever you'd say
I became your slave
Your personal outlet every fucking dayy
Ugh

FUCK YOU! For all that you did to me
FUCK YOU! For the haunting memories
They're burning my heart
And plaguing my mind
You cannot escape what you cannot unwind

You said you loved me
Bitch you don't know how to love
You only play your childish games
And run away when life gets rough
Ugh

Cause you broke me down
And destroyed my heart
I gave you my all
Now I want out!
You left so long ago but
Left this curse on me
I'm finding escape
In shit I don't believe
But What else can I do
When I never fucking sleep

Something I wrote forever ago about the toxic relationship (wasteland) that was my first love.

a dress
a skirt
pink lipstick
that never felt quite like me
baggy pants
baseball cap
dirt and roughhousing
that wasn't quite me either
I was ugly
or at least everyone told me I was
I was too masculine acting
sometimes feminine features
my chest was too flat to be a real girl
my walk was too swagger infused
my fashion style, too--- not enough cleavage if you know what I mean
apparently a shirt and a pair of pants suddenly made me unattractive to both sexes
both sexes
both
I felt like both
makeup and a baseball cap
flat chest, and a flower skirt
skateboards and hair products galore
looking back,
I was always fluid.
the gender waters in which I was drowing
I was only drowning in because I can swim in both currents
fluid
fluid
fluid
Fuck
Living
Under
Imposed
Doctrines

do they ever ask you your gender on a form and
just let you
answer no

sometimes when they leave a blank line for you to write on
I just write
lol

it's all too funny to engage with
where to be begin
tell me why we're still doing this

lol no

we do not want let into the room, we want to smash the fucking walls

call it diversity not ‘decentering whiteness’ not, smashing white supremacist cis hetero patriarchy,
not THE CANON IS FUCKING RACIST
THE CANON IS FOR MEN BY MEN PRAISED BY MEN
FOR THE BOURGEUIS BY THE BOURGEUISE OWNED AND RUN BY THE BOURGEISE
THE CANON IS AS WHITE AS THE PAGES YOU TURN AND THE PAPER YOU WIPE YOUR ASS WITH.
THE CANON IS A CLOSED ROOM WITH A BARRED DOOR
WITH QUEERS ON THE STREET NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO KNOCK
BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT THE DOOR WILL NOT EVEN BE CRACKED OPEN IN THE SLIGHTEST.

WE DO NOT WANT LET INTO THE ROOM,YOU BUILT THE ROOM YOU OWN THE ROOM, IT IS YOUR HENCHMAN WHO CONTROL THE INS AND OUTS OF THE DOOR.

WE WANT TO SMASH THE FUCKING WALLS.

IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE, YOU WILL BE PART OF THE RUBBLE.

YOU WILL LEARN WHAT IS LIKE TO HAVE YOUR HOUSE BROUGHT TO THE GROUND.

Carter Ginter Sep 12

I think of your soft skin
The sweet lines of your beautiful face
And I can't help but smile.

My frozen heart warms at the thought
Of the way our souls collide as our foreheads touch
Satin skin against skin.

You are the most wonderful part the universe
Your soul vibrates so perfectly with mine
We complete one another so gracefully.

Despite your place in my heart
I will try to hold myself stable
Enough to not drag you into this darkness with me.

Your beautiful heart and it's unnatural beat
Have carried you through enough torture
And still it strives forward as perfect and innocent as ever.

Baby I love you more than myself
That's why I haven't opened up yet
I'm afraid to give you more nightmares than you're already plagued with.

But I want more than anything
To give you all of me
I just wish it could be done more easily.

I know I'm not perfect and
I'm dripping with bad habits
But please believe that my feelings for you are real

Even though I seem walled off right now
I really am trying to open up for you
For you and for me

So one day soon we can both live at ease
Without the fear of this falling apart
Dreaming peacefully, on our little island paradise

Butterflies swarm in my lungs
Crawling along the walls of my insides
Spiraling air into currents
That chill me to my bone until I'm shivering
Whenever you look at me
With those beautiful ocean eyes
And a smile that could save the world
You send a storm of wings and rainbows
Throughout my body until
I can no longer breathe
But I'd rather suffocate as you take my breath away
Than live another empty day of not feeling

I know you don’t trust me

And I wouldn’t normally either

But for once I am certain in my own emotions

Because I can count the number of poems

I’ve written for anyone else

On a single hand

And yours could fill a novel

Although this seems so new
I’ve known you for years
And while you’ve grown up a lot
Since our days of kissing on concrete
Your soul emits the same beautiful waves
That I fell in love with 5 years ago.

So as we walk around the pet store today
My heart is screaming
I love you
And the anxiety squeezes my organs into nothingness
Pouring acid through my insides
And burning until I build up the courage
To translate my internal dialogue
Into something real
Because it’s not real if I don’t say it

I’m ready to say it

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