When I think of being in love
It's only ever you
When I listen to gay love songs
You always come to mind
The one I want to kiss
The one I want to cuddle
The one I want to talk to forever
Even when we should be sleeping
You mean everything to me
And that's hard to admit most days
Even when it's hard
Even when shit hurts
It'll always be you
A life without gender.
Giving me my freedom that was taken.
End to my imprisonment by gender roles.
No I am not mistaken.
Don't ask me if I'm a girl or a boy.
Either is just not me.
Rather I am a person, a human being that is free.
I identify as agender meaning I don't have agender. I'm not a girl, I'm not a boy, I'm not anything inbetween, I'm just kinda... Me.
I hope that one day people of all different gender identities can be accepted and treated equally within society, because even after all the labels and categories we put ourselves in, we are all humans and no one deserves anymore or anyless them anyone else.
Do I want to kiss you
Because I actually like you
Or I just feel out of control?
I tend to be self-destructive
When nothing in life is going well
And I don't want to drag you into this
I brought up never having drunk kissed someone
Our friend said we should do it
And the idea just stuck in my head
I didn't think it'd be a reciprocated feeling
Because I can't imagine you thinking of me that way
But drunk me decided to offer
Just to let you know I was thinking it
You said you were surprised
I'm not sure why but that's ok
You also said you might accept the offer
But it depends
On what I'm not sure
I just hope it's not awkward at work tomorrow
Mae Andrea Apr 6
SHE BLOWS ME AWAY
with every breath
that she takes
it’s like some sort of drug
and my heart
it escalates
who could have known
that we’d get to this place
everything
feels so right
my chest is so tight
Do you feel the same?
or am I just insane
there’s something about you
that makes all the pain
go away
and I can’t believe I’m saying this
but I think
you’re right for me
together we
could stop it all
the pain
the shame
everything will just
go away
let’s go away
I know you will protect me
and keep me
safe from harm
and at night I’ll be warm
laying side by side
with my head resting on your arm
the nightmares will subside
if only for tonight
I finally get a rest
from this fight
as you hold me so tight

Damn.

I’ve fallen in love again.
dorian Mar 27
Insufferable, black dawn - backlit, by everything, an eclipse to turn the grass dark
the clouds
grey.

Tell me, the numbness I dread - is this it? Because part of me knows the inevitability of death, understands it's the cycle of rebirth
but part of me
calls out with ferocious aches like I'm going to vomit on this damn field
And all I need to know is
why.

I'm sorry - I was an arsehole, belligerent teenage fuck head. Insecure enough
to cut you out completely -

But this exposure is sinking fast,
dim the whites,
render everything to shadow -

I'm clutching at straws, if straws
are a single orange street light
cutting into your profile outline
like a knife ; I'm talking about dean
who I used to replace you

All these men, used to replace you.

Sky, ultramarine - sometimes white if I'm looking forward in time at the dim instagram aesthetic I created on the backbone of a life without you
Moaning at the bottom of the stairs,
waking me up every damn morning (that's why I hated your voice but hell, did I know I needed it)

I'm sitting at the front of your funeral, daddy  - they're praying for me like they Think
I'm not some sick witch
who doesn't need God to be a free man,

some sick impersonal ego-ridden funeral,
I keep forgetting you're dead
and that's been my coping mechanism; these past weeks, moving everything I know from the Strand to Callington -

just fucking forget about it, move on
pretending I'm still that bitch
That can walk barefoot and naked through hell and
live,

when you know, Daddy,
I'm an earthquake inside: a sickness sinking in the back of my throat -
eclipse, December sunrise, backlit, oblivion.
I was fourteen when I finally found out the truth
About me
That my sexuality
Set me apart
From my peers
Because they didn't identify or mingle with queers
I knew you then but we didn't really talk much
It wasn't 'till we were seventeen when we began hanging out

We had fun chilling, passing time, and getting high
We had both always made sure we were alright
And that was the dramatic year I came out

Where did you go
Did my coming out make you wanna leave
Something I did not know
You were just as queer as me
And nobody would believe

Fighting, drinking, smoking, passing out
But yeah, we were alright
Everybody knew our group like to party
Yeah we got wasted every other night

Everybody loved you, you were the cool one
You always knew how to make everything so dangerous and fun

Where did you go
Nobody doesn't know
Something I just didn't know
You were just as queer as me
Nobody believed
You had to leave
You had to leave

I think that I always kind of knew
But I never wanted to say it
But now that you're gone
I believe it

Did my coming out
Make you uncomfortable and give you doubts

Now I know and I could have never believed
But you were just as queer as me
Nobody couldn't believe

Well I'm still surviving
I'm still having some fun going out and getting fucked up
I'm just letting you know if you come back we could still do that
Yeah that'll be what's up

Where did you go
Did my coming out make you wanna leave
Something I just didn't know
You were just as queer as me
Just as queer as me
Just as queer as me
Nobody couldn't believe
You had to leave
You had to leave
McKala Hanes Mar 18
She’s shiny. No, not like a diamond, or a new toy, or when you polish a glass just right.

    … Not even quite like a star.

She’s just…

s h i n y.

To call her a beacon of hope, of joy, of anything would be patronizing, would be dehumanizing, maybe even fetishizing and associating any of those words with her makes you cringe, makes you ache with rage at yourself, but -

  She.
  Shines.

She is the agonizing sun in your eyes when you are driving and the sunbeams that feed the flowers in your garden.

both the highlight of your day and also the worst part
for the warmth in your chest, the fire in your heart,


You suppress and deny until you are almost fool enough to believe yourself when you say “i’m not in love, i’m not in love, i’m not in love”
  
She shines

She shines so bright it hurts, but you want it to hurt, you can’t imagine it any other way

So you burn, and you burn alone, and maybe always will, because the words dancing inside you -

“Hi, my name is - ”
“I like your skirt”
“What was the homework for Spanish?”
“Hey! I noticed the scratch down your arm, I also have a cat - actually, I have three”

- die before they reach your tongue.

                            … she’s probably straight, anyway.
Mikey Barnes Mar 12
when my mother asks
i tell her
someday i'll have normal boy hair.
something with a short back and sides
that isn't buzzed to a number two
and i didn't do in my bathroom sink.
something that isn't pink
or blue
or grey
or whatever hue i was feeling that day.
something not quite so obviously gay.
something inconspicuous.
something employable.
something a bit more like the boys on tv
and a little less like me.
my boyfriend recently shaved all his hair off and we've been discussing it in terms of a queer rite of passage
ray Mar 12
if i had known what a woman
tasted like earlier in my life
maybe i wouldn’t have
encountered so many damn bitter men
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