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"I placed hands. This person obviously gaslit me."
"How can you tell for sure?"
"Because I immediately tore from their contact and all my fingers were burned."

these people radiate heat everywhere, they plague you of confusion and in return of your mistake they will ***** accusations, "that was hardly anything, what am I to be of fault about?? HAHA."
Maybe we were drawn together
at fragile time
We saw too much
and accepted this as a paradigm

It makes me sick
what made you tick
was justifying lies
Standing proud
your tiny shroud
your pedestal of grime

And then I broke
you made me choke
on all our little pieces
I spit and sputtered everywhere
watched them float into the creases

Meanwhile my masterpiece was
painting pretty pictures of us
Displaying them
relaying them
in all 4 different seasons

I showed them off to others
exhausted to the core
While I scoured
for our precious tiny pieces on the floor

You stood above me smirking
taller than the sky
You knew I'd never find them
you knew that I'd just cry

One day I just stopped looking
and now I know thats good
Now I draw the line
between I can
and when I should

No longer am I hunched and crunched
on my knees and on my hands
Searching through the carpet fibers
through the dirt
and through the sand

But there's something that I never knew
When I finally said enough
When I held my head up high
And decided to be tough

They said that you would lie to me
And promise to be better
They said that you would write to me
apologies and letters

They said all sorts of tiring things
That I one day saw as true
I didn't want to see it
That the monster was just you

They said that I'd be better off
Once I finally leave
But they never told me years from now
I'd still be missing parts of me
TW: a story of an abusive relationship
My mom always tell me that the doctors
Took heroic efforts to save my life,
That they went above and beyond the call of duty,
That if they hadn't thought me too
"Smart" and "beautiful" and "having the whole world going for me,"
I would be dead.
Number one: No one's chance of survival should depend on
Their looks, their opportunities, their cognitive ability.
Number two: None of it should've been necessary.
My text messages in the evening hours of 2/12/19
Are filled with the likes of "I don't feel safe,"
"I hate myself,"
"I am suicidal."
Their responses were simply,
"Do the best you can" and "Talk to the RA."
Yet they were surprised when 1 AM on 2/13/19
Found me in a hospital bed undergoing resuscitation.
Still,
When I woke up 10 days later,
They all wanted to know, "Why didn't you tell anybody?"
Him
You sip on self pity
Now that wine has been vanquished from the house.
Bitter insults leaving your tongue
Like the smell of alcohol on your breath
As you pinned me to the mattress all those nights ago.
You accuse me of being like the rest,
Always leaving you in your worst moments.
Never had I questioned why they left.
You tell me to run,
For you only abuse those you love.
I had thought that your overcritical mind was exaggerating.
I wish I had seen those for what they were,
A warning,
Not some misplaced self hatred.
It is proof of my love that you seek,
The thrill of me chasing you as you degrade and run away
That fuels your affection for me.
You ask me to tell you I love you.
You ask me to assure you I will never leave.
You want me to beg you to stay.
I cannot.
I once loved you.
I am leaving you.
There will be no need when I am done.
She has built your memories out of lies,
Screamed at you countless times,
And for every hurt she causes you,
tells you it is your own fault
You were raised to be co-dependant,
and then punished for not being independant
You burn books out of frustration
and shut out the world
because you've been "taught" how much more dangerous it is
than your own cage of a house
This fire she continues to twist around you,
Igniting unprovoked anger,
Because you dared to bend a rule she breaks every day,
Lighting up the trail of gas
and burning your memory away,
She birthed you to be her puppet,
and when you wiped the half-done paint job away
she tortured you into submission,
For all the lies she forces you to listen
Maybe we've solved the puzzle of her constant lies,
but it doesn't matter.
she doesn't matter,
but you do.
And I tell you now,
You won't have to listen to her lies
forever.
for a friend
Janoortje May 23
Why break a fight
about some lost chocolates
though i am sure
absolutely sure
that i gave them to you last

i looked up a term
gas lighting
Ever heard of it?
fill in your own context
Mal Apr 28
You cut out my eyes.
You fed me with lies.
And now I can never see again.
Matthew Mar 10
It doesn't matter who is wrong or right
because sometimes the line is so blurred
the only options that appear
is a tunnel going left or right.
Sometimes, the choices are there to be ded
Amoy Mar 1
What was I thinking wasting my time with you
I can’t wait to shed my skin
I can’t wait to give to it to the wind
You ****** my soul and left me thin
I can’t wait to shed my skin
What was I thinking letting you in
You took my heart and left my head to spin
I can’t wait to shed my skin
Seventeen years wasted, gone like the wind
Just like a scorpion it hurts, when you sting
I can’t wait to shed my skin
No more tears I won’t give in
You’re a Narcissist, I won’t let u win
I just can’t wait to shed my skin
Filled with feelings of misgiving
I won't fall for your gas-lighting
God please help me to shed me skin
I Pray, I Pray for a new beginning
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