Aa Harvey 15h
Apathy


Don’t tell me how to feel, when I feel like this;
Don’t tell me that you’re happy, when I’m so depressed.
Don’t sit there with your girlfriend, giving her a kiss;
Because I just don’t care, about your life of bliss.


I do not care for your sympathy,
Because I live in a town called Apathy.
The town of no-hopers and the town I’m in;
The shitty little town called Apathy.


So don’t sit there with a smile upon your face.
Don’t dare utter those words:
‘The world is such an amazing place.’
Because I live in the rain and I feel like shit.
The sun never shines down on Apathy.


So I do not care for your sympathy,
Because I live in a town called Apathy.
The town of no-hopers and the town I’m in;
The shitty little town called Apathy.


If you feel the same as me;
Or you live in a town like Apathy.
A town of losers; a town of shit!
Then come with me down to Apathy.


Let’s take it over and change a few things.
Let’s welcome only rockers and eject all the trendies.
Let’s all sit down and smoke a spliff.
Let’s drink tequila and rock a few riffs.


I do not care for your sympathy,
Because I live in a town, called Apathy.
The town of no-hopers and the town I’m in;
The shitty little town called Apathy…


Yeah, I live in a town called Apathy,
And it has become like home to me,
For I never want to live outside Apathy,
Because I only care about, the cool people and me.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
I don’t care.


Would my father have left, if I was not born?
And would I have become his favorite son?
If he’d let me, if he’d let me.


Would I have become, the son I became,
If he’d stayed in my life?  And if he had stayed,
Would I still be?  Or would I be?
The same as I am!  Angry at my Dad!
Or would I see, he’s not worth it?


And I don’t care!  That Daddy wasn’t there.
I don’t care!  How he is now.
And I don’t care!  That Daddy wasn’t there;
Because I have love, from my Mother.


So rejoice with me, because I speak my mind
And I say what I mean and I’m not angry,
Because I don’t care; no I don’t care.


And if you can relate, to the words I say
And you understand, what I’m saying today,
Then it’s ok; yeah it’s ok.


And I don’t care!  That Daddy wasn’t there.
I don’t care!  How he is now.
And I don’t care!  That Daddy wasn’t there;
Because I have love, from my Mother.


And I don’t care!  That Daddy wasn’t there.
I don’t care!  How he is now.
And I don’t care!  That Daddy wasn’t there;
Because I have love, from my Mother.


So I thank you Mom, for the love you gave;
For your warm embrace and your smiling face
And I do care, yeah I do care.


Because you were always there!
You never walked away!
You are always there!  If I need you.
I thank you Mom!  For everything you’ve done
And I do care, now and always.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Madolyn Apr 14
it starts with a feeling of something being wrong
all conversations feel fake
you're missing...
something
everything
smiles feel fake on your lips
and frowns leave a bad taste in your mouth
your feelings are gone
shrugged off like a coat
that you can't seem to find

your feelings are gone
separated by a glass wall
apathy is too little of a word to describe it
its the feeling of being stripped away of all context
all emotion and memories
you talk to the one you love
but love is hidden away
you can only feel a hint of it
like someone yelling at you
from a floor above
the only emotions that aren't gone
are fear and anxiety

it's vaguely terrifying
like a horror movie you've all but forgotten
you know something is wrong
but you're not worried enough to do anything to change it
you're a husk
and husks don't care what happened to them

the trigger? unpredictable
maybe I was feeling too much
from the sad book I had just read
the cure? who knows
the only thing that saved me today was a youtube video
when laughter forced its way from my chest
I felt my emotions flood back
this is all over the place, but so am I
We AREN'T living in Scary Times
Because people are too NUMB
To feel AFRAID!
The fear-mongers face bears the worry he sells
That assures him his place between heaven and hell
You could wear through your knees tryna pray through the fear
Or cry a stunted glass full of tactical tears
But no, you shake off his fables gingerly
Like the ache off a drunken injury
Cos it’s terribly hard to retain a lesson
When you can’t remember asking the question

The chat show host affects an air of caring and concern
And stares so intense and stern that you can smell his lashes burn
As if the sword of Damocles is hanging from a rafter, spurn
The shitlords for their apathy and watch the tide of laughter turn
A voice that cheats the door jamb like a winters draft
That’s been greasing the palms of every splinter and crack
You shiver, he laughs and ominously wraps
His hands ‘round your waist and whispers “relax”

To whom do we owe the smoke and prayers?
And will heaven hold my place if I pay in arrears?

Six more suns from Sunday and you don’t have the time
To pray for each mundane exploding land-mine
Or every drug mule with a wrap in his cavity
You play to the rules, and they’re silent on apathy
You say “freedoms as much use to you as it is-to
The liquid that leaps from a lanced blister
With a full-time family and a part-time girl
Why not check in on them before saving the world”

To whom do we owe the smoke and prayers?
And will heaven hold my place if I pay in arrears?
Aa Harvey Apr 11
He said “There is no love.”


I only get to see beautiful women as they walk on by.
I do not get to fall in love;
Nobody will ever be on my side.
Mine to adore, to love and much more,
My girlfriend, my lover, my never a chore;
My only ever, pleasure forever after.
I wait for a sign or reason to carry on,
But there is no hope…no love…no one.


My heart is empty of someone to love,
So I will give it up, it takes too much.
My heart and soul I would give to be loved,
But I cannot even see a way that is up.
That is what’s up.  Forever down, by my own depression,
I never learn any lessons.
I just fail, leave them guessing,
Never actually show a piece of me; there is nothing to see.


The music video ‘Just’ is in my head today,
Because if they all had my empathy, they would all stop
And lay down next to me.
I am unmoving, going nowhere fast; no sympathy, please.
No kiss or hug is heading my way,
Because I am an island covered in rain.
Who would want to go on a holiday there?
(Even temporarily)

…I do not care…


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey Apr 10
Ribcage blackhole


Shine a light down on me.
Show me a place where I can be,
Happy!
Give me what I need.
I am so empty
And so full of apathy.


Give me directions to nowhere;
Resurrection without the prayer.
Send me to a place with nobody there.
Give me away.  Like you even care.


Give me a way throughout the fields.
Allow me to yield,
Under darkened skies;
Midnight does not terrify.
Out of sight;
Out of mind.
I see it all so clearly in my pitch black, broken mind.


I am on the inside, looking through frosted glass,
At the chances that I had and the vetoes that I passed,
To escape the tyranny of love.
The all-powerful, destroyer of trust,
Has become dust, in its own omnipotence.
Drop the dead donkey and the dead pretense.


So full of feelings for a world so without.
They drain my soul with their everything!
Their lovely lists, so full of lies, I doubt,
Number one is deny, deny, deny and then cry.


Crocodile tears tear away my years,
In the blink of an eye’s wink,
Are the real thoughts that they think.
Ill-communication,
Lovers on vacation,
Never sell your heart to a person who only has one notion.
Separation, of the heart and soul.
I am without,
So I sink down into my hole.


(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
I nearly passed out this morning.
My vision went fuzzy like static.
The ringing in my ears was louder.
Voices grew foggy and distant.
The ambiance was filled with muffles.

I nearly passed out this morning.
Taking a seat to alleviate the feeling.
The pit of my stomach bubbled in fury.
It was empty again.
I'd forgotten what hunger was again.
I keep overlooking hunger somehow, and today I nearly passed out. Yay me!
I'd love to take a moment to

        -JUST FUCKING BREATHE-

but I can't sit and wait
while they sharpen their knives...
They sharpen their knives.

Every fucking moment that passes,
and we wait.

We wait.
For what??

Waiting for someone else to come along?
Take the reigns?
Maybe a set of more capable hands will save us
from our own responsibility...

Meanwhile, the seconds tick by,
each one cutting deeper than the former.

It could be we don't deserve this place,
and I'm not inclined to disagree.

The question remains:
do we run,
fight back,
or let it burn

so that we might be reborn anew from the ashes?
Don't drink and read the news, kids. lol
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