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Zero Nine Mar 2017
You **** your teeth loudly,
Smack your lips on ravioli,
Whatever it is I taste of
You can't really say
Meanwhile I've had my face
pushed, mashed on your *****
trying to find life's meaning
with short tongue tight frenulum
Cursed I crave your ***
****** mane grows unkempt
Despite my attempt to
Get some head

...

Dead
...
Zero Nine May 2017
Blast off the powder keg
One-two with the punches
Rope over your shoulder
Like I wanna reach the summit
Maybe you let loose before
But, honey, I ain't seen it yet
But, baby, I'm scared to like
Messin your perfect face, displacing
Your innocence and makin
Our blankets wet
I said I don't wanna blast
But you got the controller
Got that hold and doin it right
Got my ***** ****, my Xbone
On lock on this *** throne
Pop your mouth a minute girl
Base to the tip that ****
Is rocket sauce
Blast off the powder keg
One-two with the punches
Rope over your shoulder
Like I wanna reach the summit
Maybe you let loose before
But, honey, I ain't seen it yet
Maybe this night is the best
Night of my life I lick my
***** off your skin, sleep
Tight, tomorrow I'll breathe
***** breath
....
Zero Nine May 2017
I'm not a real girl, just a ******
Cis boys don't like me
Unless they chase, but I'm no bait.
Unless you let me
Whip it out and look in your eyes.
Unless you stare
Back with fire skipping my life.
But I'm
Not a real girl
Just a ******
I'm missing a hole
If that's what keeps
Me unseen, then
Bae,
I don't need
Your world
....
1.8k · Apr 2017
What Do III
Zero Nine Apr 2017
CDC was basically closed. Their OLCC application is stuck in processing somewhere between here and wherever. I went to the other one, instead. The taco place out front still isn't open. I have to imagine that a taco shop is going to do pretty well next to a dispensary. It was T2 something. Counter guy too cute, fast talker. It's a good smoke, but I ate a tray of brownies. I wish I could throw up, but if I'm gonna have love handles, I'd rather they be diabetes sweet, rather than the alternative.
Zero Nine May 2017
Where is my self worth?
My self worth is done.
Been burned beyond
Earthly heat by my
Own swollen hands.
Where is the time gone?
My blood is wrong.
My blood's gone bad.
Maybe, could be
From waiting just
To die, tending
Life outside
Myself.

What's wrong?
You've gained weight.
What's wrong?
You're looking old.

Oh yeah?
Well,
I hate myself
...
Zero Nine May 2017
Could I find you. I'd be home.
Your presence softens, wanes.
Blue light only through trees.
In clouded mirrors behind me.
Could I return to that still frame,
I'd return your eager, loving kiss.
Had I ever known what I'd wanted
When it still mattered,
I wouldn't write this.
....
1.7k · Sep 2017
Knife Hooks, Ship and Sail
Zero Nine Sep 2017
Back again to the black skin over heavy sands
Back in action at the totem effigy
Poised for fight or love
The brother/sister
I've become

Standing tall
Under weight of worlds long felled
Sleeping sheets wake, hold the bones again
From old days
Fly the knife hooks, ship and sail
Speeding, open, for the circle's end
recently set up a heavy bag on the back patio. years out of practice and out of shape, yet it all comes back.
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Believe in me
As I you
Find as our youth
Detaches further
It hurts

I go hard in the club
Double whiskey, that's my drink
I'll meet you in the bathroom
Wash my mouth in a ***** sink
Bus home, charging Love's busted energies
Where the days old dishes drip
with sludge and collect a days old stink
Wrap my head for the pain to come
Sleep ******* thumb, dreading
The numbers will repeat
And replete with melancholy
Accept the pattern will repeat

Believe in me
As I you
Find as our youth
Detaches further
It hurts
...
1.4k · Mar 2017
Songs About the Aching Ocean
Zero Nine Mar 2017
In the orange cream dying sun's half light
swaddled by blankets wrapped in ***** clothes
I open my lips wanting your taste
eye to eye, mons *****, warm fragrance
To offer myself and soul over completely
When we were young did you ever think
we'd drown in the ocean of flesh between legs?
She smiled brightly, made noises
overjoyed much more than confused,
though that's not the story now, is it?
In an instant passion rises up with steam
gone again before I wipe the mirror and
brush my teeth, and once again I see
blackened debris, they're rotting out
from misspoke verbs
All that's sweet now is the imagining
of diabetic what once was
Two closed eyes reach back with a breathy sigh
withheld truths and well meant half lies,
cannot inspire lift again that left me,
but that doesn't stop the faithful
Has the tide this whole time been sending
waves of false hope, on which I'm floating?
Daydreaming, heating oil, she wants dinner,
and I hunger for satisfaction in new pictures
A hand for a finger, a tongue from both mouths
comforting by grabbing hungrily
until heads get thrown back, abs tighten
when pressed to relax, on the rack
stretched but both floating
Why does she want to drink my blood?
I don't ask just imbibe in return
Those days are long gone
Times when the worst thoughts could not undo
whatever flicker remains in the waning brazier's ember
I can't stop slinging filth
Peddling chrome plated items of refuse
1.1k · Mar 2017
Luciferin Favors
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Innocence
becomes
passe
Sin again
within
favor
Gestures of genuine penance,
all shall be refused
Jaded to the long term touch
I shall now renew
Sin
     Again
               Within
                           Favor
Sin
     Again
               to
                  Favor
Balcony beckons escape to only fetishists' invites
God would not rain *** and skin in test
So
   Remain
                Godless
....
1.1k · Mar 2017
Shards Broken From Lobes
Zero Nine Mar 2017
I bought a cow
Purchased her with but words
She works for me now
Grab her by the teats I need
Her drink to live
I swallow milk, keeps me strong
Despite this relationship
all wrong, that she provides
green needs
It's all I want
I used to have a cat, cute
andro-trans boy alien
He ****** my ****
Swallowed *** and ****** me raw
Walls fall apart
Every new best thing sinks and stinks
Under the barn,
I bought a barn
Under which the missing bodies compost
Brain stem. Bzz bzzt.
Cereal and milk.
Zero Nine May 2017
My grandpa, he got cancer from smoking
cigarettes. I set fire to the ends of bones, too.
The only male energy in my whole life,
and the best example of what I shouldn't do.
Emotionally abused my family,
no regrets, no subtle nod, or attempt at truth.
We set aside the split hairs in sunlight,
watched them fade while listening to the empty tune
of two hearts too lost and misunderstood.
One perfect look at conviction displaced and strewn.
I'd like to think I'm resistant to death's call,
but I'm well aware how the earth hurts,
how my home land endures political turf war.
***** cannot be an exclusive concept.
Would you like to come lie beside me on my floor?
Drift between feelings, count specks on the ceiling?
I can't seem to find purpose in living, but I love,
and love life just enough. Do you love enough to meet nighttime
and sleep til the morning? Press your forehead to mine,
tell me of your scrapes and how many times.
6

Inspired by Alkaline Trio.
852 · Mar 2017
Blank White Space: "Drift"
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Felonious bologna spread
sweet meaning lips to air
through air to ear.
Good kids grew up framed
Bad kids grew up changed
Zip burnt bone butts
Sweep the back patio
Procure snap lights
Glow sticks in darkness
Vibration received
One hand on the other's trail
White-blue red-pink
Write names with innate
Shapes in muscle memory
...
823 · Mar 2017
Right at the Overpass
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Doing recreationals under winter under your dim lights
Within the house leaning sideways, deep in the basement
Drinking twice our size in sweet white,
whatever cheap wine
With my humming lips, bless your pale hips in a headspin
You say, "Choke me out."
And when I squeeze, you scream
I'm no top. Better learn it early, right?
821 · Mar 2017
Sebastien
Zero Nine Mar 2017
One. Two.

Is this thing turned on?

One. Two.
resonance

I can't see even a few feet in front of me.

God?
resonance

Anyone?
resonance

There's nothing said back from the void.
Disapproval. Deification.

What difference does it make,
Whether withheld or spoken?

Shadows show well on the walls
Before Netflix in my home at night,

The futon
resonance

Eyes overflowing with ****
They're waiting for ****** on tongue.
807 · Mar 2017
For One Summer
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Too surprised to find
aglow,
pictures of you fallen
long faded and broke
I believe the fractured memories
hide better tastes underneath
abuse, and neglect
Forget
for one moment,
the two lives split open,
the two eating entrails,
stitched eyes, pretending
they were not human beings
Now my tongue pretends that
the juices have turned bitter,
when I long for love
I'd drink you all day,
suppressing hate that
imperfect ink fade
has left a burning stain.
It's nearing its approach again.
Zero Nine May 2017
It's like, at night
The scent of plaid and wet dog
Is all I don't want in my nose.
You're vanished in Bellingham,
While I play keep away
With fragile stability.
What's your deal?
Across a state at least,
You still sink your pitons into me.
....
793 · May 2017
Zero Sum Disaster
Zero Nine May 2017
I've written
the same horse ****
more than I
care to admit.

(rain, wash me out of disdain)

Surer now
that I'm jaded
with passion,
quickly aged,
and grey.

May rain wash the grey out of me
(color from heaven in rain)

Or, I swear

I'll repeat the same chord
until I fade out

Zero sum
...
Zero Nine May 2017
In darkness
My apartment
Lies lonely, low
Holding me
Blinds drawn
Sweating rust
Internally
Smothered
Thick dust
In darkness
My finger
Tips trace
Outlines
Of hearts
Xbox heating
PC heating
Waste in still water
Filling room
Want receding
Need retreating
Refuse of product
Parent made

How do I wager
My heart for cash?
Money get me out,
Imagine. How do I
Live or even leave,
When the past tucks
Me in, surrounds me?
....
766 · Apr 2017
Regardless, Love
Zero Nine Apr 2017
How in the flying ****
do I begin to place an ad?
My body hasn't known
touching love since, ****
I don't remember when.
I want your love on me
Deeply free, brave bedroom
eyes. I want my love all
upon you, too. Lonely
existence, isn't it? Livin
vicariously through friends
is often your biggest and
loudest indicator of a good
day. Who? You gave head
to who and who blew you?
Never wanted children
with my baby for a reason,
but now the reason has crept
upon us, this house regardless.
I say to my friends, Who?
You gave head to who
and who blew you?
I say, Who? You
gave head to
who? And
who blew
you?
....
737 · Mar 2017
Moonshine in Blue Time
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Scream,
"You will not defeat me,"
from the summit of your lungs
This
arterial winter
is all over and all done
I want the rain to smother us,
one nose to another
sharing the air
at the corner of Fifth and Couch
I want the silence between us
sinking heavily
while enjoying
the rare absence of spoken word
I want you filling my chest
with the bumps that were
lost to view some time ago,
like we share phantom sensations
from before we knew love
Scream,
"Return my youth to me,"
acid dripping from your tongue
We can sing in song
Is this the end or the beginning?
Probably both.
Zero Nine Apr 2017
Hit too hot hit too hot
Now my throat burns
Watching Workaholics
I'd say Blake is my favorite
His hair is cute I like his face
Wild red hair creating umbrella space
Flick the engraved Zippo the gift from wifey
Blunt in the bowl smoking
Spent ten on a three
My other lover might sit with us soon
Three in a room sharing hands
Possibly kisses, massive attack
Playing mezzanine we'll either touch
Each others' skin or carry conversation
As it turns out I've found peace with
Either outcome or any other potentiality
While it's pleasing to be receiving I'll be
Lying if I tell you I don't appreciate the fine
Details in simply spoken word between us
.....
726 · Mar 2017
Evening Light Come In
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Too worn in heart
for how dare you
To in response anger
at anger aimed
towards you
How can we express ourselves,
when you steal our emotion?
Tired and missing
my connection
Too tired to love myself
and though I speak
it plainly
the lake of muck within you
was once crystalline ocean
Your first response to effort
is What's wrong here?
Zero Nine Sep 2017
Oh
No
You
Don't

Won't
Need
Your
Drink

I'm just fine
I spend the long nights
In an intimate dance
Touching myself
Comparatively,
You're not interesting

How
Dare
You
Buy

How
Dare
You
Scheme

What about me?
What about me?
Fresh
698 · Nov 2017
Hormones (REDUX)
Zero Nine Nov 2017
I say I'm
not looking
for love but
I'm looking
I'm catching
cold glances
from eyes filled
with the weight of
sorrow been cast in gold
My purposeful fingers
reach up for money from
the gutters, this,
is just what I'm told.
Enter my ears,
enter my eyes,
enter my skin,
into my lungs.
I'm not breathing
oxygen if I exhale
byproduct. I'm out
of luck, won't press it.
I'm out of reason in
speech. Beyond
preventable death.
Regret, turned to
malice. Chest
compression. I
could have been
a good person.
What value in gold,
if I have you?
Zero Nine Mar 2017
When I'm scared
And could not feel more fear
This is where I run to
My home is a rats' nest,
That I share with you
My home is a rats' nest
Parity. Ambivalence.
Stolen at once -- mistake
Our better days pass far behind
Is a lie my heart betrays
My home is a rats' nest
That I share with you I
Invite your adverse conditions,
Your brittle healing hands
We stole parity
by mistake
Stole ambivalence
by mistake
We have detritus decor for days.
by mistake?
On the shores of her lunacy,
the lake before the sea
hidden well
before the **** human ocean.
We own a rats' nest.
Rats' nest.
What's love?
657 · Apr 2017
Back in the Kitchen
Zero Nine Apr 2017
I write because I have
no talent. I wind up
cooking for reasons
all the same. Relegate
me to solemn, lonely
domestics. Is it worse
even still you call me
Sir? Or is it ****** up
that I care? Well,
how dare you,
Shitlord.
How dare
You.
******* you ******.
651 · May 2017
Damn Damp Smell
Zero Nine May 2017
If it's no problem,
please join me.
There's a city outside in the rain.
In the side of an archive coffee shop,
I saw you reading, leaning
-- more like pressing the world away
-- fully removed.

After the shop closed three years later
the weather changed. In the dry dust
the sun burned on the blacked out window,
your face curved more like the sword,
less like the first observed orange light
of hope on the edge of West horizons.
Where are you but in the glass?
But in the mud puddle's flipped throwback?
....
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Hand over hand, checklist and
A pen
Hull breach after hull
breach blown
Liquid leaking uncontrollably
Blank black space, vacuum
Eating up luminescence lost
Clarity, comfort me
Vacuum dines on comfort, too
EVA whistles somehow sad between
Waves of static and silence

Where is the sunrise headed?
Where is the new dawn?
Is this transference, or
Countertransference?
164 Eva cuts my cheek
leaves seeds embedded
in flesh that betrays the blood.
If Earth is the lonely world
I'm watching the worst sci-fi short
I'm a hero with no extent,
all patched pores defeated
By carbon in the end
...
633 · May 2017
Closing Chapters: "Diné"
Zero Nine May 2017
Join hands
at the campfire

Wish into
the night
for transfer
from states
into
stateless
diaspora.

A
world
away
in love.

b
u
t

i know i know i know

we know we know we know

The
heavens won't save us

I wager
weapons etch distant
moons with craters.
...
625 · Mar 2017
Trash Fire
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Cellulite
Carriage
Back *****
Sagging
Glass won't shatter
Lens can't demonize
Deprecate
Soft serve
Despise
Flesh form
I won't crumble
Just age
Gaze can't shatter gaze can't shatter
Gaze can't shatter
Me
And I recite, face looking back in fear
623 · May 2017
Toilet
Zero Nine May 2017
Two tight
butts
both
belch
into
the bowl.

Toilet.

At night,
I
fight
tight
butts
of
the whole
world.

What kind of story can I write with a pen,
when the common story sold by a friend
is one of the short ones told with a gleam in the eye
No ink, just a sharp in the hand. No stink, though,
I just want it over, man. My living room is no tomb,
it's entrance and exit, byway to the highway but the
shoulder's overflowing, growing closer to me than
you think and neighbor, you're the 216.
...
619 · Mar 2017
Dreadwaters
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Long ago love looked like romance
it held a subtle sheen of madness
Chaos and passion left in pair
Our beds lie oceans apart
My heart can't swim the carpet
In the night we camped the platform
I hadn't yet bought matches
as the smoke was yet to lick me
inside my virginal lungs
My heart grows tumescent, we
never sat close to view forever
in the dusk of violet July
To fulfill happiness fully
suppose we just kiss goodbye forever
and bare the carpet to cement
May some poor soul once more find
their face between too hairy legs
and with my chin I'd trace constellations
Sail our beds both furthest apart
Sail our beds into the dark
In the violet July
608 · Jul 2017
Maintenance
Zero Nine Jul 2017
What is maintenance? My life has to be cold,
planned, full of calculation. Otherwise, what?
Otherwise, I'll be old at thirty-five, bold, but too close

to a tragic slip, toes in the grass by open graves,
when peers gather, grow on pavement past the gates.
My life has to be cold, planned, full of calculation.

Otherwise, the most vital, underlying systems
yell in warning lights, compromised. You may
not think it problematic, but I can't interpret
signs of my demise already six feet down,

now can I? That's why I (we): clean, sort,
scrub, update outdated thoughts, as if
otherwise, I (we) cut the years I'll (we'll)
survive.

Open my chest for me, you,
lovely human you. Your
scent rises through the rain.
Could I live the way you live,
I would. But I can't, and I know that.
So let me react to your input,

open my chest for me
open my chest for me

open my chest for me
open me
607 · Mar 2017
Far as we Know
Zero Nine Mar 2017
It's when the morning gray
bleeds into my eyes through blinds
that the night concedes
to day, officially
Under the bare cover
through dead trees, slice power lines,
growing, connecting
meats virtually
It's with the rising steam
from porcelain go all dreams
Coffee will run through you
fast as the day
When the light is on,
we're finally done
Words will not come
Words will not come
...
Zero Nine Mar 2017
You've made your suffer very clear
In anguish's cutting headlights
You are a fragile deer
Glass organs pop under foot
Your psyche crumbles into dirt
Glass murks reading worse
Than it ever has
It ever has
In this one bedroom den, I'm the wolf
Once I was a scrapyard mongrel
Once you were my wide world
Presently avatar of indifference
You've become a cyclone fence
Every dawn sweet music cedes
Every dusk, must evade sleep
Evade sleep
...
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Used to be frail, and pale, weak inside now
the darkened leather of skin has done much
more than save my life.
It's consumed.
Dark steel armor has worn, formed rusted spikes
that slowly push to impale with blunted
and poisonous points.
I've inhaled
After one long, deep and drawn out sigh in
to twilight's heels, it feels as though it kills
to survive the night.

. . .

To survive tonight
Welcome to the party
Trash can lights light, illuminate
To survive tonight
Free junk and dry cardboard
Beckon, calling out names
That sound like yours
I had a lot of fun with this one.

I've lived in the area surrounding Portland nearly my entire life, and over time, I've realized its appeal is that it's just a big pile of junk. I can't help but think cardboard meets clean steel, skirts/suits meet black duster jacket and ****** crew.

Who the **** finds that appealing? I guess I do. I haven't wanted to leave yet. It does something to your insides, though. Literally and figuratively. I like being a rat.
Zero Nine Apr 2017
Why,
Why
Do we ****
Ourselves
My
My
My lungs hurt
Smoking
In
Time
Will take my
Short life
I'll be a ghost
Yet
I
Sit outside
Smoking
No longer choke
...
Zero Nine Mar 2017
Have I yet impressed
upon you the urgency
of reform?
What's the real story here?
I reply
into a melting mirror
at a face deformed
lit by dollar store
finger lights
I reply
at night I'm dying to change
at daybreak's pallor
it's easier to
just resign
Unhealthy and sedentary unlike
two years ago, arteries hardening
lungs constricted and teeth missing
all due to smoke
I'm a joke,
chain-smoking although
there's a reason to stop
I don't want
to invite death,
then die so slow

But I do want to die lazily
My love, apathy
It's over
It's over
For now,
at least
Zero Nine Apr 2017
Summertime
My lover ***** the blood of a rose
The thorns push in her, stab
Break off leave open
marks at the stem
Her back makes a decent ashtray
For tapping blunts and butts
My lover bites the throat of a world
Wrapped up in patchouli sheets
Made of daily applied fine mist
In a bottle or jar, still curiosity we
Still haven't seen her home but she's
Seen violent light spearing the thick
Smoke through and then the dreams
That pour out into our living room
Reflected from my lenses from the
Floor face down *** up
.........
Zero Nine May 2017
Mind the sprouts
Pass on the egg
That's mayonaise
See, I'm fat
Don't want that
For you

Beef and pork
Friends cow and pig
My dividends:
Lunchtime.
Dinnertime.
To feed

Order the billy club
Then masticate
Avoid the tuna fish
Avoid the weight
....
579 · May 2017
Fashion Me|Shiftless Bodies
Zero Nine May 2017
Her shoulder *****
open to the sun
reveals the long road
to warmer sands,
where her heart beats
the waves in the ocean,
as the bass through boards
on her holy dance floor,
private, secluded.
Her trim of green
smells of a sweet
musk, patchouli, of
old cinnamon
I fill my lungs
I pretend that she's smoke,
invites and then guides
my journey toward her
sacred equator.

|||||||||||||||. . .

On the run, the run, on the run
There's a place to which I'd like to travel
But I've been there before THAT'S
HOW I GOT THIS WAY BY HAVING
HAPPINESS actualized and two heavy
hands to wipe it all away
Disintegrate, disintegrate
On the run, the run, on the run
Invitation is one thing -- I don't deserve
The want is with me the
heart is pure

This spirit, though
still broken from
whatever time before
today.
....
577 · Jan 2017
Action Words
Zero Nine Jan 2017
The err isn't that I
Bear while they imbibe
Maybe entitled defines
Me and this sovereignty
The err isn't that I
Most often decline
The offer
The wine
It's such a shame that I
Only sleep open eyed
Erroneously minimize you
Passively underrate
575 · Jan 2017
My Heart Goes
Zero Nine Jan 2017
And this Winter, unlike the past deaths through my life,
may offer motion toward a place from here
With my heart broke, as he departs in the night,
carried memories let in tears still travel hard
May my motion, then be truly swift to mirror his,
to futures on the East horizon
568 · Jun 2017
Kava-Kava
Zero Nine Jun 2017
Why
Why lie?
I won't learn to love you
If you'll not have my face
Between your splayed legs
If you'll not want yours at
My deeply undefended
Base root all the same
Drink our shame
Get drunk on
our body
kava
kava
.
notes go here
564 · May 2017
Closing Chapters: "Piety"
Zero Nine May 2017
Crazy for mouth stuff,
Crazy for *****, I'm
Crazy for *****. Bulge
In the throat, or
Six wet lips tangling.
I'm crazy in general.

My eyes trace up your body
Til they meet
Your eyes in the sky
From the ground
I love my lowly place
Between your feet on my knees
....
561 · Nov 2017
Smut
Zero Nine Nov 2017
I'm lucky that my *** drive started when I was young
It leaves me my future wrapped up in silence.
Zero Nine May 2017
Unwell. Or am I?
Who's to say the past is done,
When I clean puncture wounds,
Dawn to dusk, of detritus?

Unwell. Or am I?
Who's confused and who's knowing?

Unwell. Or am I?

Merging verses, moving tiles.
Twisted memories play pretty.
Every tangent plays at once.

Who moves when I move?
Convergence hurts us all.
...
Zero Nine Mar 2017
When all the water has left
the dry Earth will sing to Sky
Return, please, return!
Both the stone pulling
and the void pulling
like to kiss in the middle
of war. Scorched turns to damp
in the end, providing our
diligence and duty to life.
It's shameful the water goes
now when such destruction
hangs in the near distance.
Diligence may no more undo
the damage, for the time
has gone as well.
....
546 · May 2017
Closing Chapters: "Cuts"
Zero Nine May 2017
Herb smoke fills the room.
I watch TV through rising smoke.
I write rib to floor.
I ruin my cervical spine
To bring you this

No words will fix a messy bed.
You didn't make your bed.
Your mother made it.
Your mother made it.
And here you sleep.
...
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