carmen 14h
they all tell me i
should leave you there,
but i'm too attached to go.
you loved me once on
the siesta key beach and
you promised me things
on my living room carpet
after we made love.

what happened to the man
who called me beautiful and
stayed up to see the sunset smile
on my golden flesh?
where did you go, my love?
i don't enjoy the slow
saturation of nectar tears
that trickle down my
cinema blue beaten face.

if i wanted to be used like
a piece of average teenage garbage
i would've stayed with the
drunken football player
or the alcoholic parolee
that loved me on a sheet next to
the street barely hidden by cars.
you're so worried about my past
that you can't see the blinding present.

my biggest regret was slipping you
into my virgin kiss the first time
i snuck out into the velvet night
to get a glimpse of you.
tell me, what makes you different
than ------ or ----- or ------?
you're just the same and as much of
a creep as ------- was.

you make me feel like i'm dreaming,
like i walk in a haze and i'm
tired of feeling crazy, summer stranger.
your threats don't frighten me
'cause they're emptier than your hollow ribs.
i'll call you when the moon rises and
the sun rules the tides or the bible parts
the seas the way you once parted my thighs.
don't lie to me.
carmen Jul 5
go ask ------ if i care.
ask her if she'll let you
slip inside while you're at it;
tell her that you love her
two weeks in.

you're too rough and
the polaroids you took
left me with black
tiger stripe bruises on
my sarasota gold tinted thighs.

everyone i've talked to,
everyone who knows you,
warned me that you were a creep.
but how could a darling angel
turn out to be such a freak?

you're suffocating like his
smoldering cigarette smoke
and you choke me out with
your big macho paw just
the same way he did last december.

i am not a possession;
i belong to no one and
i surely don't belong to
a tall, lanky creep like you.
do you hear me?

i'm a young teenage girl with
ribbons in my hair and bright
white ruffled socks pressed
into the carpet; have you
forgotten that little fact?

you were all to eager to pummel
my juvenile cherry pie raw,
but you were only ever focused
on your singular, deviant,
carnally charged pleasure.
but it's supposed to be "us".
p a l e s Jun 1
her mind became
the antagonist
of her own being,
pursuing the sadness
that followed her treachery.
Li May 22
She was blinded by everything
She is in the abyss of her thoughts
She is sinking and drowning

She cried so hard that she lost her voice
She cried trying to escape her own agony and pain
She imprisoned herself in the her own chains

She is trapped between her own nightmare and daydream
She is confused by the light and the darkness
She is in the middle of a boundless maze, lost and nowhere to go

She let herself be devoured by suffering and  endless torture, be paralyzed by it
She can neither move nor speak

She is alone.
carmen May 21
my warmth aches
for the pleasure it might receive
brought forth by the rigidity
of your wanton lust

my eyes grow heavy
saturated with tears and the syrup
of peaches, sweet nectar falls
slow molasses, dripping down my cheeks

the sun grows cold against my skin,
ashamed i've lost my way again,
misguided by empty compliments
and warm, callused hands

your fingers fit perfectly inside me
and melt away every inch of my being
i float farther towards paradise
when you're feeling my pulse

i missed you in the french alps
and was blue in the corridor, stained
with age and mystery from weary-eyed
girls luring men through broken shutters

paris is dirty, you wouldn't like it there,
but rome is divine, with magic in the air
hold me close in your suit coat with wine in my veins
and thrill me above the streets, watch me cry out and pray
ciao, my darling
Marina Mar 18
do i know you?
you remind me of someone i use to know.
its either that, or i'm just in complete intoxication
or something like deja vu...

i just wonder
if iv'e met you in another life time
or just seen your face around in this neighborhood,
but for now i'm just an old soul in this universe.
vanessa Mar 10
we’re just teenagers
hair whipping in our beat-up trucks teenagers
gas station food at 3 am teenagers
love too hard and lose yourself teenagers

some people wonder why we hate

we touch the rays of sunrise
with our snapchat flower crowns
and skate park supernovas
and with our glass-pane-collarbones
peeking out from black bomber jackets,
fragile fingertips emerge from sweater paws.

we capture our feelings in polaroids
our emotions swallowed up
by bottles and our youth
it’s the life we think we know

and all they ever wanted us to do
was crack

we’re just teenagers
soda can sizzle teenagers
lungfuls of shattered dreams teenagers
disintegration conversation teenagers

but the reason why we break so easily
is because we’re humans too.
yikes is this an aesthetic
Marina Jan 24
my life is somewhat, confusing
i had many options but many bad encounters of people;
my 31 year old sister was abusing me for the past 3-4 years,
i was severely depressed and held many scars
from my legs to my arms.
"hurt people, hurt people"
they always say
i knew she was hurt i just never put a finger on her
until recently i felt very unsafe,
i gave her an eye the size on an orange with the colors of a bloody purple

days later she lied her heart away about my family, as if that's all she knew.
i was starving physically and emotionally
i wanted to feel loved and wanted
because i wasn't wanted when she was there.
i was put away at a establishment back in those 'safe' places,
and when i got home and she was at her own lifestyle somewhere
i felt happiness and at ease.
i please to god that i wont ever have to see her again..
was not easy to talk about. that's way i was gone for a long time..xx
Marina Jan 23
to this day i have many questions
to this day i am still looking for love,
i know it will not be long for me to realize i will have my questions answered
but pessimistic thoughts still haunt me
i do not want to come to this but i am feeling numb
my one mindset is on the people who love and appreciate me
not for looks, just me

i always thought love was silly
but it can do so much more than feeling things
every day i tell myself 2 things
1. ill find love some day
2. the future is unsure of itself
but i tend to have this unforgettable thought of her
but i know i will move on one way or another
but just this once i want to feel loved one last time
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