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Brandon Conway Jul 2018
I've inherited a loaded revolver
from my dear ole father

Each .375 has its own name

             apathy       covetousness
   cowardice                misanthrope              
         misogyny      narcissist

Pa shot himself
Ma never taught me how to unload a gun
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
We walk pass and lock eyes
Ask ourselves if we know this guy
No? Pass on by.
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
You are the bell ring
Baby, you’re stimulating
I’m just Pavlov’s dog
Brandon Conway Oct 2020
I did more than I wished
Less than I thought
And I’m still putting up with you
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
Hello father Poetry
These kids are always insisting
Their words are incendiary
"His father is nonexisting."

Mother speaks your name
She sings your praise
Tells me you're the god of flame
Which has left my heart agaze.

So I come to ask, father
For some proof of our bloodline
I don't want to bother
I just need something, a sign.

"Hello little one, 'tis true
I will grant you validation
One that I can't undo
Let this be proof of our relation."

"O' father how giddy my viens
A cure to this disparage
Can I take the reins?
Let me steer the carriage."

"Not even Zeus can control
This golden chariot drawn by steeds.
Only the dark horizon I can patrol
But one promise that I can't break was agreed.

Take care now and heed this warning.
Take a firm grip and don't let the reins slip
You are the bringer of morning
Sailing the horizon like a cosmic ship."

"Thank you father, this is all I will ask.
This will cauterize those words so forlorn
And bring sunshine for all to bask
Now watch me with this gold I adorn."

So off I went with sunshine in tow
O' how this sunshine was a'glow
Look at the burning horizon how the fire river did flow
The horses bucked, a grip loosed a fate my father did know.

Nothing I could do but dive down
Setting fire to Africa's lush vegetation
Scorching the lands turning green to brown
A lightning bolt struck, for I caused this ruination.

Now I sleep among the wine dark sea
Epitaph that reads:
"Here Phaethon lies who in the sun-god's chariot fared.
And though greatly he failed, more greatly he dared."
Brandon Conway Jun 2019
From a pinpoint explosion
to the edge of space and time
a never ending expansion
racing through stars that shine

stretched too far
like this rubber soul
trapped in a bell jar
a personal black hole

let go
for this name has been expunged
let go
for this big crunch
let go
for this death
let go
and draw the last breath

as the pinpoint universe
explodes only to reform
as stars and time disperse
this soul contorts and transforms

rises from the ashes
and sees a new day birthed
gazes as a new sun flashes
on a new mother earth

happiness has finally been found.
Brandon Conway Oct 2018
The quill's sodden ink evaporates
while this bell jar encapsulates
leaving these dreary words to permeate
only to rain back down and stagnate

this terrarium, my lonely estate
pickling eyes that spate
people peer through the glass only to deprecate
while I slowly start to acclimate

two horizons squint until light dissipates
allowing the darkness to overtake
monsters crawl out to dilapidate
snarls and growls devastate

this is fate this is fate this is fate this is fate
is it too late is it too late is it too late is it too late
echos verberate echos verberate echos verberate echos verberate
this is fate and it is too late these echos verberate and I ruminate
I ruminate and ruminate and ruminate and ruminate

with a languid gait
a countenance set straight
while I desperately try to create
a happy blissful sunny green free state

it's not too late it's not too late it's not too late
meditate meditate meditate meditate
don't let the glass alienate
pick up the hammer and swing
                                                       till the glass B    E      K
                                                ­                                R    A      S.
Brandon Conway Sep 2018
There is a light that likes to turn on
when I lay my head down for the night,
toss and turn with my dreams now forgone
no matter the yawn, this bulb is bright

not with so much as ideas but, words
and small phrases that I rearrange
that will fly away and cause me nerve
so I spread their wings, pin and arrange

their beauty captured and put in frame
so finally I can hit that switch
and try to win at this sleeping game
I will wake up in a few, poem rich

and so repeats the boundless cycle
capturing metaphor butterflies
in this restlessness bed of idyll
sleep late, wake early, a compromise
Brandon Conway Aug 2018
Practice
Promise
Persuade
Preach
Plenipotentiary
Pawns
"Pray"

Powerless            
Petition
Prevent
Power
Protect
Peace
Philanthropy
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
This heart ’twas plucked
                                 and tossed
A young boy stranded
                                 and lost
Laid in a fresh dug bed
Contemplating the blanket of dirt
Sacrificing this mortal coil
                                   to the worms
She found me there
  That coy mistress
                                    She whispered
Her voice the medicine to cleanse
Left as a reminder,
                       Stitched
Left to stories in thy head
A cycle that never ends
These gossamer sinews will not hold
To a finger that pokes
To a hand that grips
The flesh, how it rips
Left exposed
A dark nothingness
Lay thy hand on thine chest
Do you feel a beat?
It doesn’t exist
An empty field
Left for the crows
A seed was planted
How could it grow?
Water from thine eyes
And a hand to hold
In that field of brown
A little green
          Shows
Brandon Conway Apr 2019
Gaze upon the hidden
an impossibility
light is forbidden
in this distorted intangibility

But we see
finally
we see
general relativity
Brandon Conway Oct 2018
My heart paces in an abandoned cage
that still holds the smell of lions ****
and human decay

They took my house from me
and He
abandoned me and the early seed

Oh how
love loses to profession

and I lost both
for something that may be
traced back to my blood
even though
I have never even been in a Synagogue
or prayed

It doesn't matter to the ones in
crisp black, green, and grey

The word I hear
from the birds tweet
animals are being imported
from Germany

This cage is not an idea home
but it has kept me safe
but now
I am truly alone
due to what they think is my faith

I must survive
for the little one inside
otherwise
this would be the end.
Brandon Conway Jul 2018
You found me broken and in a mess
You came in as if a traveling salesman
You knocked on my chest to see if it was vacant
You didn't take no for an answer
You sold a potion I desperately needed

Your compassion and love healed and rebuilt
Your hands reassemble this skeletal mess
Your eyes saw the best of what was inside
Your teeth and tongue assuaged  
Your body so titillating

Time passes
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I no longer need the product that you were so adept at selling

Always one step ahead
In order to sell more
I had to break down

You secretly created tragedy
You shakespearean
You left me the way I was found
You came knocking again
You charlatan

A fool and his money eh?
Or is it me that is selling a product?
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
Sometimes the whispers of the night
Are drowned out by the wailing of disaster
Hear the dolorous screams and smell the fright
Catch the story from the newscaster

All was lost aflamed
Lighting up the horizon
The devil left maimed
And a mother crying

An imbroglio of water and fire
Never seemed to placate
Home to only a smokey pyre
Left to vacate

A new sojourn
Hotel to hospital
A new adjourn
To suffer or a sacrificial angel
Brandon Conway Sep 2018
There's a devil on my shoulder
with blood dripping from his hand
the other side grows colder
an angel lost in the promised land

An angel’s face
I never did see
maybe that space
developed improperly

It’s quite tragic
these choices I take
it’s not black magic
it’s my own mistakes

I guess I’m in love with the spiral
spinning down to infernal ground
infamous words gone viral
I am Prometheus bound
Brandon Conway Aug 2018
I have drank the philters of the oceans
inside the notches of your sculpted bust
chiseled to perfection by my minds notion
immortal beauty to never crumble to dust

Skin of ivory with curves carved by a god
my little ivory girl how my fire burns
breathless, stiff, and lifeless left me aw'd
a singular lonely lover forever yearns

Just one kiss to those stone cold lips
just one before I visit in my dreams
my lips upon yours, hands on hips
how you look while the moon beams

lighting your lovely void face
The lips how they grow so warm!
Your arms how they tightly embrace!
By the gods, a living art form
to forever love in this dark place
Brandon Conway Aug 2018
Life is a record scratch
a record scratch
a record scratch
a record scratch
a record scratch
a record scratch
Until the needle is lifted
and moved somewhere new
Brandon Conway Aug 2018
Sometimes you just have to go for baroque in this acapella life.
Brandon Conway Aug 2018
Stream of consciousness
traveling down tin cans and a string
going on about Romulus
and ramblings, vibrating in between
half a world away
keeping each other awake
thanks again
for the company
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
The deliverance of life echoed into that of pounding death
This frozen tower metamorphosing into a coffin sealed and fated
That gorgon’s gaze did I meet and uttered not a breath
Lost in those frightened eyes, thoughts left me sedated

“You stare so... Father, what is it?”

There I sat, day circling into night
By the dawn light through a reflection
I caught through their tragic sight
Left me gnawing at my hands, objection

“You put this wretched flesh upon us and now you may strip it off!”


Calmed my soul and silence we sat, another moon waxing

“Father, why don’t you help me?”

Left your lips while your languid soul seeps
Blind now with no words to offer
One by one perished but never did I weep
In the end
Hunger proved more powerful than grief.
How do I make text bold?
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
When I run, I run with speed
In which becomes a gentle breeze
Soaring though the asphalt heat
Opposing wind blanketing
Speeding down a blistering street      
While                                                           ­   Y                                          
          My      ­                                                      L
         ­       Prudent                                              E
   ­                           Mind                                  ­E
                                        Wanders             R
                                                               ­ F
The picture kind of resembles a shoe I think.
Brandon Conway Aug 2018

I'm not prejudice
to the weather, but if it's

white I'll stay inside
I hate running in the snow :(
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
I remember that first dose
From the gawky greeting to affecting adios
In the drunken darkness I prowled
Watching that boisterous dancing crowd
I thought you a goddess, a toothsome treat
And from the golden apple did I eat
Small bites
Became all nights
All nights blurred into days
It’s all kind of a haze
And now
I can’t take more of you
My receptors are bound by your molecules
Our relationship is a sigmoid curve
Your affinity to my nerve
An agonist, baby, is not what I need
To ween off this goddess dependency
I now just tolerate
I mean I just acclimate
But without you my heart palpitates
I am nauseous, I sweat, and I shake
An antagonist is what I seek
For I am far too weak
I mean without you I am nothing but lonely and depressed
In a dark alley needle obsessed
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
Confidence is going out in short shorts
With legs a gradient of egg white to fried egg
Too bad this yolk will not break
Trapped in the shell eternally.
Brandon Conway Jul 2018
Sitting at the bottom
Of the sun-kissing tower
Rapunzel,
I hear you crying for help
Could I make a suggestion?
     Stop cutting your hair
          And blaming the scissors
               Instead of your own hand.
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
The preacher, the politician both the same
Nothing but swindlers spewing specious sermons
Noisome talk from their mouths came
Rapacious hands, oh what vermin!

I, as if compunctious for my fault
Left feeling only surfeited  
Fulsome factitious assault
I am left as the convicted
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
I sleep betwixt and
Between a coarse noose
and a shakey stool
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
I guess one day I will travel
when I run out of Elavil
and my body becomes of ash and dust
carried by the four winds, wanderlust.
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
Two pines bent over, legs entangled to each
One weighed with anger the other bowed with shelter
A clashing of feelings both wanting the same peace
To save you from your demons, not to destroy and welter.

Anger lashes but you take no notice
Hidden refugee sheltered from the storm
Walls so consumed in fixing someone
That’s so consumed in breaking apart.
Still living in the same dwelling
With disconnected hearts.

Hell’s company attracts
Invisible flames melt wax
Plunged and lost contact
Splashed into a raging sea of orange packs
That sits inside a bottle made of glass
Bars to halfways
As time makes its pass

You’re an uncle now
Don’t you want to watch these roots grow?
You are just a speck of life in specks of time
In my children's mind
An uncle they hardly know.
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
I walk by
"Here comes tiny"
My ears burn
"Wish I could wear those pants"
I hear the murmurs
"You're so skinny"
I hear the whispers
"Just skin and bones"
I should feel good, right?
"You should eat a burger"
I earned this long ago
"You're too bony"
I put the work in
"How about a bulk?"
But the reflection revolting
"I need to eat less"
Still a decade later
"I still need to lose more"
Why can't I just love my body
"I am such a disgust."
I struggled with weight issues as a kid till my senior year in high school when I finally decided to do something about it. This was in 2005. I still haven't learned to be comfortable in my body.
Brandon Conway Aug 2018
Skolar shot three stars
into the celestial nothingness
in which he was harnessed.
Every night he charioted higher
hoping to touch the heavens.

Once reaching the maximum ascent
Skolar would whip and beat those
bright luminous wisps
pushing them a bit further.

Every night two stars would perish
and their remains would float
gently down forming the lands
and gardens of life.

One star would remain in the sky
sitting at its highest peaked achieved
in its skyward journey
every night a new star would shine.

One night one shined bright
beside me
we fell in love
and created an asterism.

We birthed more and more
little stars
a constellation telling our history
the people below
worshiped and gave us meaning.

Until I became volatile
spinning out of control
exploded leaving a black hole
taking that now old world
and you into the celestial abyss.

Skolar has moved on
creating new worlds
while history repeats
for infinity.
Trying to make my own creation myth.
Brandon Conway Aug 2018
As my gaze shifted down below
my eyes, how did they behold
all the little ants going to and fro
as if they were mind controlled

Can't they see what is happening
to and fro, to and fro, to and fro
day after day, day after day, day after day
and for what?

Cheap plastic that eventually breaks
blue lights shooting up dopamine
dreams of scratch off sweepstakes
costly cups of muddy caffeine

Lets show them what being free is all about
                                                           ­               
J                                      N                        ­          F
U                                                    ­                     A
M                                                              ­           L
P                                     O                                  L
I                                                               ­             I
N                                                 ­                        N
G                                    W                         ­        G

Watch clouds shrink while ants grow
their busy bodies stop
as they finally lift their face up to show
the horror in their eyes drop

following downward along
this exciting free fall
this beautiful swan song
that I sing for all

I can hear them now
how angelic are their cries
I can see their sickly brow
the whites in their putrid eyes

Fleshy hail from the building above
came crashing into a yellow cab
spirit fleeting like a mourning dove
a body crimson mangled and drab

I leave my mark on this city
my final piece of art
I hope they find it pretty (and not pity)
this perished bleeding heart
Brandon Conway Jul 2019
rain down corpuscles of light
into the salty ocean waves
bend for me and smite
the darkness of this drowning cave
where I am held by the cross section
of some fourth dimensional abnormality
maybe it is just my reflection
maybe it is just my reality
something I can't seem to picture
a Corpus Hypercubus sort of memory
tied down by mental strictures
left wondering in this somber reverie
Brandon Conway Sep 2018

Bottles of cheap bliss
drown out lugubrious sadness
replaced with bottles of ****
in this festering den of madness

at least there’s paradise in my poems
at least there’s a clean bed in my dreams
at least in those spaces I’m in your arms
at least I’m happy bathing in the moonbeam

surround by a fetid smell
with a lack of care for myself,
is my hunger even quelled
when there’s no food left on the shelf?

a roach skitters across a pile of clothes
my temporary friend that I confide in
he speaks, “Here is what I propose.
Stop thinking that you are a has been

get off your *** and clean this mess
unless you want more of my kin
stop ******* at the bottle is what I suggest
and have a little victory, a little win

you don’t have to live”

Squish

“Funny how you can survive a nuke
but not my tiny bare foot,
well you pest, there’s my rebuke
how’s it feel to be ground to soot?”

“What am I doing with my life?
Maybe the cockroach was right.”
Brandon Conway Aug 2018
Our house is flooded
stop crying, its not helping
only adding more
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
Signed and dated that pink vacation form
Slipped under that dark locked door
Standing in the hall watching
Shouted “You know she doesn’t work here anymore?”
Searched for someone with the key
Solution found and paper retrieved
Stated “Me standing there was fated.
Should you miss with not a soul knowing
Spells trouble, it could of been ugly
Saved you I did. I tell you its fate.”
Staring me down those blue eyes glimmered
“Sophia is my name.” left your lips.
Stammered back “My guardian angel, thank you.”
“See you around.” you said disappearing through the door
Softly whispering “If it's up to fate.”

Sloshing around in my head that lovey name
****** on the memory of your features
Scribbled down these intoxicated words
Stuck on that whisper “If it's fated.”
Stimulated I have never felt at this place
Searching always for that lovely face
Stars aligned on a late office night
Smile so lustrous so euphoric
Struck my ears with a voice so fine
“Seems as if fate has us in her grasp once again.”
She did, that beautiful fate, I will never forget
Sharing our stories
Swapping our laughs
Sobbing about ennui

Springing up with newfound courage
Stuttered “Do you want to go get lunch tomorrow?”
Started a new chapter in this book
Showing up to work now a new joy
Sitting in the office chair, usually in despair
Swiveling around, thinking of your name
Syllables echoing
Sweet Sophia.
Brandon Conway Feb 2019
I'm always sorry
but never apologize
sorry about that
Brandon Conway Feb 2019
Engines turned off as I free fall
and watch
drifting in this star's gravity
the ships
bathe in the ocean of life
and then
one continues toward the flame
a moth
heats up and dissipates
another lost to madness
So it goes
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
You left years ago,
                                the bed still unmade
You left years ago,
                                the bills still unpaid
You left years ago,
                                the message I still play
You left years ago,
                                the beauty I still gaze
You left years ago,
                                the child I still raise
Brandon Conway Jun 2019
outgrown the cradle
generation ships cruising
the stars are all ours
Brandon Conway Sep 2018
Panicked mechanical howls
echo off the silver moon
blankets the summer crisp air
blending in with the ghosts of the weeds
and the angels in the trees
flashing lights blocading the streets
in hopes of preventing tragedy
every night it’s Hamlet out on this street
this stage has been played a hundred times
the ending never changes
Brandon Conway Sep 2018
Stories of burning in the sun
fizzle out after a couple generations
Stories of salt filling our lungs
will outlast many civilizations

The sun burns quickly
like a brief moment of excitement
that wanes away while we search for
the next blazing hit

The sea pummels slowly
like a life of enduring and remiss
beating you down day after day wholly
until you sink into the abyss
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
I don't
want stray
dog freedom,
people bring
dogs home.

I do
want stray
cat freedom,
people leave
them free
to roam.
Brandon Conway Jul 2018
Everyday in the heat
Sweat beads down
Drips into my eyes
Stings on
Every stride
One foot in front of the other
The knee
Aches
No stopping now
So far from home
How the sun
Bakes
Surrounded by nature
And speeding cars
Inches from hitting
Inches from ascending to the stars
Roads must be explored
Pain must wait
For the freedom of moment
And the speed of life
Is what fulfills
This traveling heart
each beat
Puts one
Foot in front
Of the other
I will
Go so far
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
All I want is some sunshine
But I was not ready
Maybe if I drink this moonshine
My words will become heady.
Brandon Conway Jul 2018
Alarm blaring
Early morning
Hit the snooze again
Rush to get ready
Dread
Dread
Dread
Dread
Dread
Dread

Filling up a cup
At the water cooler
In a dreary office
Starts to overflow
Drip
Drip
Drip
Drip
Drip
Drip

Pour the coffee
Add the sugar
Add the cream
Stir
Stir
Stir
Stir
Stir
Stir

Sit at the desk
Power the laptop
Open outlook
Stare
Stare
Stare
Stare
Stare
Stare

These little moments
Start to last longer
Is this me trying to escape
This surfeited place?
Dream
Dream
Dream
Dream
Dream
Dream
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
Chocolate Addict
Caramel, Reese's Pieces
Outrageous You Are
I can't get enough of them, they are my perfect candy bar.
Brandon Conway Jun 2018
Celestial pilot
Cast down through midnight abyss
Accursed gates now home
Brandon Conway Sep 2018
It’s best to wait a while
and live
than to take a chance
and die
these were the words
my mother gave
when she taught me
how to drive
She also taught me
to do what she says
and not what she does,
now I see why.
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