I see a glimpse of the past
I see the trouble
Ignore the sensible
Invite the unknown

Leap into the warmth
It’s inviting
You can’t resist

The pain it will bring
Pretend it doesn’t exist

Something doesn’t feel welcoming
Yet alluring at the same time

You have just been experienced a narcissist

Your pain is his gain

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions hide in there.

her eyes drip venom,
incapacitating
all she glances upon,
turning a summer sunrise
into decay.

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions move beneath the surface.

her lips skitter,
chasing down
and breaking apart
even the sturdiest of mountains.

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions crawl under skin.

her teeth gnaw,
eroding
all she touches,
turning a broken promise
into gossamer strands.

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions dance within her skull.

her chest heaves,
filling up
and emptying out
the horizon.

she's got shadows in her hair
and scorpions bleeding throughout.

her heart roars,
shaking
all she treads on,
turning a lifetime
into dust.

she's got shadows in her hair
and I no longer care about the scorpions.

her hands shake,
holding my
immortal coil
in a death grip.

she's got scorpions in her hair.

Do you accept your family?
Despite the things they say to hurt you?
Do you turn the other cheek
Each time they blame and scold you?

Are you okay with no boundaries?
Never hearing a genuine "I'm sorry."
Do you just shrug things off cause,
"Hey, they're your family"

Or do you not accept that?
I've felt so conflicted lately
Because of family with no boundaries
Family that don't accept me, but want acceptance from me.

They always told me to say sorry as a child,
If I hurt someone else, I was wile.
Even as an adult, I'm always wrong
About others, the world and my own mental health.

I have to apologize in the end.
I have to pick up the phone to check in.
I have to put on an ever changing mask to ensure I won't be hurt again-
I try to explain it and once again, I'm a child.

I say "I" too much
I should ignore everything that offends me,
Assume the best of family because they're family.
I'm family but have to change and ignore my feelings for them to accept me.

if i could visit my younger self
i would go back to the day
when the laugh of lions
didn’t scare me away
into a world

i was trying to leave astray

a world that once;

smoked me up whole
making swimming pools
out of my tears
that’d be dusted
off of my cheek
into ashtrays

just for the narcissist’s
around me
to feel at peace
drinking from the sea
of pain they ripped me apart in
because they only knew
what they had bled into me

I'm a poet,
You don't know it
I stay up writing...
My experience
It's kind of morbid
Lots of things have happened...
You'd be furious,
If you knew
Every thing you've done to me
Has been published...
My blog's my news.
Every bad day,
Every good thing,
has its own place...
In my station, Online.
Since I was fourteen
I've been taunting, you.

My eyes don’t soften
anymore
when I see yours
return my glance
Or when I find myself
staring at your outline
in the dark, cold night

The pit of my stomach,
hollowed out
to fit the misery
of being overjoyed
And when I find myself
thinking for too long
it becomes hard to avoid

Because your eyes never softened
for mine-
first, second, third,
fourth chance
You could never find yourself-
you’re just an outline
drowning me in your dark, cold night.

His flawless facade veiled his private malignity, your sultry devil in sheep’s clothing.