I want to tell you that it's going to be alright.
I want to tell you whatever I have to to get you through the night.
I want to tell you how proud I am that you asked for help as i hold you tight.
No matter how much you scream and cry and shake, I won't give up the fight.
I want to tell you that it's not your fault.
And as we sit by the fire, watching it fill the room with warmth and light, I want to tell you that it's going to be alright
I’m just an addict
I let you become my drug
My high, my fix
I needed you
You wove yourself into my brain
You coursed through my veins
I just wanted more of you
And I knew I’d hit my limit.
You made sure I knew
But I wanted more
Then you left
You left me broken
Weak and shaking
Desperate for just a little bit more
Anything to ease the pain
Of this withdrawal
You changed me
You rewired me
You left your essence in my brain
And I can’t get you the hell out
You cut me off
And I still haven’t decided
If that was for my own good
Or a cruel necessity to save yourself
But I guess all I can do now
Is try to get you out of my system
Inspired by “The Drug In Me Is You” by Falling in Reverse
This is going to work
I’ll feel better
Paroxetine for fluoxetine
Sprinkle in some hydroxyzine
Just keep swallowing
Pill after pill...
Idk... maybe one of them will help
But now.... my head spins
Every time I move
I never want to eat
Then I gorge myself
I can’t remember anything
I’m sorry I keep forgetting
I just... I’m trying so hard to get better
I’m trying. I am.
But to get better
I must endure illness
Before any of it will improve
Dealing with withdrawal for the first time... trying to switch medications but I just feel sick... I’m taking so much medication....
I often feel an irresistible urge
to shake my head, static
racing across neurons from
chemicals, long gone.
Then comes the gnashing,
grinding teeth, and the
horrible, intrusive thought,
that this will never go away.
But before the thought finishes forming,
the feeling is gone. And I look in the mirror,
and think to myself:
"What the **** have I done?"
Addiction comes again,
Cogitation fuels the yearner,
A soaked rag petting skin
As a bellow stokes ember.
Endorphins, tastes tripping on the tongue
Just a little,
Wet lips cracking with electric spume
For a piffling sip of ambrosia.
Want needs emptiness
When it is full of gluttony.
A ***** drop falls
rippling in the blood of energy.
Racing, flipping, falling through pages
To get to the darker side.
Sand left desiccated and burning
for a cold withdrawal of the tide.
A sunrises itches towards the horizon
the beholder begs bygones
for this day to be different
anything new feels unbearably strange
i can only
that bubbles to rage
each ray of light
a bar in the cage
all i feel
is the craving
in my face
The sunset reveals true being
the beholder starts fleeing
i can't bear to confront it
i'd rather chase the horizon and see where it goes
in the spectrum
as clouds turn
as the colours
but i'm sweating
****** ****** I've seen the back of it so many times but the world keeps on spinning and it's always back in front of me again..
Weeks, days wondering if I can live without him.
Can it be, will I ever get over him?
Thinking back to how it felt when he was ripped from my arms.
The feeling on the back of my head that made my head cold, numb.
The lack of movement in my arms, numb.
The lack of sleep, waking up at 4 a.m. every night.
The fact that I couldn't eat, losing 10 pounds.
I thought this is what happens when you can't live without someone, but in fact, this is all the signs of withdrawal.
You see when you really love someone and they leave.
The world ends.
When you think you love someone and they leave.
You get cut off that high euphoric feeling causing you to fall into withdrawal.
But once you recover, you start to see yourself.
That deserves better and won't settle for anything less.
My thoughts now that I am clean.
until your lights come undone
And the sun deport its creators
And seek you instead;
Every person you came to love was already dead and they shoved their corpses and broken teeth down your throat like a blackhole branch and nostalgic chaos
cremating all the bodies they’ve occupied, but still it tasted too familiar to your common sense that you let it.
Or is it okay as long as it's spoiler free, and less relevant to your story standards, and case scenario?
I took a handful of pills,
So I don't have to feel,
Chased 'em with straight Gin,
Where do I end or begin?
It's killing me or the memories,
They're lined up like enemies,
This Mary Jane by my side,
The only place I can hide,
I've been high for two weeks,
I haven't yet hit my peak-
And all the dealers are dry,
A ten strip of acid to fly,
She told me to leave her alone-
So I done sold my phone,
And now I'm doing these lines,
While my heart is doing time.