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Sydney Mar 1
Bloodline Meds are
The pills you need to take everyday
Like clock work
To continue to feel like yourself.

Sometimes you forget
but
somehow, you feel completely unchanged
you feel normal
your think you’ve finally beat it,

no longer a prisoner
no longer held captive by a specific milligram of
assorted medication

It’ll start slowly,
then it will hit you
like a ton of bricks.

cold sweats, aches, chills, nausea
feeling on the brink of death.

When you take bloodline meds
you have to decide
stay captive or go through withdrawal

Either option
you still lose a piece of
Yourself
Mona Nov 2020
instagram
my dear friend
i miss you

like a crack addict misses crack
i am in AA
on the emergency table i lay, frail

i feel my internal workings coming undone
i am locked out of the fun
i am tempted by my insatiable lust to run

run and run from myself
perceptions of moi
that i have conjured and cooked

laced extras with the crack, microwave
the crack, a transplant for my identity
expand myself for the many
so i could sell more
more of me in exchange
for love, the eternal currency
the currency i seek

on some level the extras i laundered
became me
identification with the mask
i have trapped myself between the future
and the past.
how long can this last?
دema flutter Oct 2020
my body
misses you
more than it can handle
the pain of the withdrawal.
Sammi Yamashiro Sep 2020
Caffeine.
Nearing addict
status; once spurned pure black
but now it’s my composition.
Jitters

my thoughts;
next round is scotch:
Next, I’m alcoholic.
Yet, withdrawal never latches.
I’m safe.
Two Cinquains. Describes how I overindulge in coffee (I once couldn't stand the taste of black coffee and now I can't get enough of it) and I fear that alcohol will do the same to me (I don't like the taste of it but maybe I'll love it too much like I do coffee). Yet, even with coffee, I can drink heavy amounts of it for days and be completely fine (not experience withdrawal symptoms).
So with my anxious thoughts, they seem like they will stick with me forever but in the end, I'll be fine.
Nica Monet Jul 2020
Love may be the toughest withdrawal
It fertilizes a garden and blooms the wildest—beautiful flowers.
It’s flourishes with enough love given to it,
as it decays in a catastrophic drought.
Nature needs care and its necessities to grow.
We grew a garden raising it up from the seed.
Withdrawals hit when the desire to revive the flowers and the browning of plant is no longer achievable.
No fertilizer.
No water.
Dry Soil.
The wanting to of seeing the flowers bloom again. The wanting of how the garden once looked.
The images of what the garden would have looked like. That is the toughest.
All i had to do was reach deep into what I have felt when a certain type of love leaves.
Zack Ripley Jun 2019
I want to tell you that it's going to be alright.
I want to tell you whatever I have to to get you through the night.
I want to tell you how proud I am that you asked for help as i hold you tight.
No matter how much you scream and cry and shake, I won't give up the fight.
I want to tell you that it's not your fault.
And as we sit by the fire, watching it fill the room with warmth and light, I want to tell you that it's going to be alright
Empire Feb 2020
I’m just an addict
I let you become my drug
My high, my fix
I needed you
You wove yourself into my brain
You coursed through my veins
I just wanted more of you
And I knew I’d hit my limit.
You made sure I knew
But I wanted more

Then you left

You left me broken
Weeping
Weak and shaking
Desperate for just a little bit more
Anything to ease the pain
Of this withdrawal

You changed me
You rewired me
You left your essence in my brain
And I can’t get you the hell out

You cut me off
And I still haven’t decided
If that was for my own good
Or a cruel necessity to save yourself
But I guess all I can do now
Is try to get you out of my system
Inspired by “The Drug In Me Is You” by Falling in Reverse
Empire Dec 2019
This is going to work
I’ll feel better
Swapping medications
Paroxetine for fluoxetine
Sprinkle in some hydroxyzine
Just keep swallowing
Pill after pill...
Idk... maybe one of them will help
But now.... my head spins
Every time I move
I never want to eat
Then I gorge myself
I can’t remember anything
I’m sorry I keep forgetting
I just... I’m trying so hard to get better
I’m trying. I am.
But to get better
I must endure illness
Withdrawal
Side effects
Before any of it will improve
Dealing with withdrawal for the first time... trying to switch medications but I just feel sick... I’m taking so much medication....
The Dybbuk Dec 2019
I often feel an irresistible urge
to shake my head, static
racing across neurons from
chemicals, long gone.
Then comes the gnashing,
grinding teeth, and the
horrible, intrusive thought,
that this will never go away.
But before the thought finishes forming,
the feeling is gone. And I look in the mirror,
and think to myself:
"What the **** have I done?"
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