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Blake Oct 4
Lay beside me one last time,
Allow your tears to soak the sheets of our pretense,
Clutch my hand while your teeth pounce on your lips,
Always trying to hold back your gasping cries,
But your face still shrieks and deafens my ears.

Lay beside me one last time,
Staring at each other in devoted distaste,
My lips giving you a soft smile of a guilty goodbye,
Your eyes starting its spasm of unspoken begs,
Always flashing our buried memories in one last attempt.

Just lay beside me one last time,
Just one last time stare at me
So I can mouth the false words
'All will be fine'
Then your eyes will drift to sleep believing,
my one last lie.

Just wake alone one last time,
But for the first time with a full heart,
         And please believe... I'm begging believe...
                       I was just the most unpleasant dream.
R A Pilch Sep 24
When I thought I was a monster
I was so enraged
I was treated as less than human
I was thrown into a cage
I didn’t know you loved me
I didn’t know what gladness meant
I figured I was just defective
I hated that I was different
When I thought I was a monster

So I acted like a monster
I hated everyone I met
They would never understand me
With that I was content
I didn’t want to be around them
I didn’t want their fairytale
Each time I had tried to grasp it
I continued then to fail
When I thought I was a monster

People saw me as a monster
And the hate turned back on me
Everyone was sick and tired
Of my pride and villainy
They began to band together
Being united by hate
They schemed and worked together
In an attempt to seal my fate
When I thought I was a monster

Someone had to slay the monster
But it wasn’t who you’d think
And it all happened so quickly
You would miss it it if you blinked
Not the mob that band together
It was one who came by stealth
Because when I learned you loved me
I murdered my old self
I was no longer a monster
The story of my depression and self-hate and the way God changed my life and empowered me to slay the beast that haunted me.
Mrs Robota Sep 22
Ever get a compliment and instead of feeling good about yourself you feel like absolute ****?
They get twisted in my head. I feel so much more self-conscious and somehow all my flaws are magnified. I feel so uncomfortable. Ugh!

I wonder if everyone around me can tell what I'm thinking? How I just want to punish myself. How I want to crawl under a rock and disappear.
I hate compliments
Romann Sep 12
My body is a temple
To which I’ve lost the key.
Everyone thinks its outside is wonderful
But I, inside, see how vile it is.

It’s easy to judge beauty
When you’re beholding, and not being.
I feel trapped inside a giant of stone
Unwavering and unbearable.

I want to be vulnerable.
To feel pain, joy, and sorrow.
So why, why?
Why must I remain in this stoic prison?
I've lost sight of what I am. But I know what I am not.
Sabrina Sep 6
i don't really know why this started
the happy go lucky girl i once was
feared almost nothing
yeah she was glowing
until the darkness came in blowing
blowing out what once was
now who i used to be
is barely inside of me
only the memories of her
remain inside
the pictures will help you remember
i can't love
i can't do anything right
i can't hide
from the demons inside
so all i do is sit
quietly and wait
until they get bored
and dissipate
though it's only temporary
you love me
at least i think
i don't know why you want me
i say i don't like anyone
but why does it make me feel sick to my stomach
thinking of you with anyone else
i've caused you pain
i've caused you tears
while we both suffer through our fears
i don't deserve you
but why can't i afford to lose you?
whatever good was left in me
that year
i fear he took it all with him
now all that's left is anger within
self-hatred and fear for letting anyone in
but i think i do love you
you hate him for what he's done to me
so i'm sorry about the demons inside
that simply won't let me be
i've caused you pain
i've caused you tears
while we both suffer through our fears
i don't deserve you
but i really can't afford to lose you
i can't do anything right
i don't really wanna die
but i want this bad feeling to go away inside
i'm scared of myself at times
but you hate the fear in my eyes
i don't know why
why, do you want to make me alright?
Vi Sep 1
The demons they haunt me
Those voices scream in my head
They tell me to pick up that blade

That voice inside my head whispers my life just isn’t meant to be
There will be nothing to dread
Pick up that blade don’t be afraid

I pick it up my hand doesn’t quiver
Maybe it’s a sign because I feel no chills I don’t shiver
I pick it up and move it closer
I wonder If I should have wrote a letter to give my loved one closure

It’s too late now
Drip drip
Vi Aug 28
It didn’t take long
After all I wasn’t that strong
I was another one of those ticking time bombs
Just waiting to explode

Not out of anger but out of pain
Caused by these chains
I was a bird locked in a cage
Looking for a career that offered me a high wage
I was respecting my parents age
I had to follow their ways

After all they raised me
I had to follow who they wanted me to be
Could they not see??
The pain was killing me

I wasn’t focusing on what I wanted
It was all about them
I was trying to live up to their exceptions
These were not my aspirations
I went into this to get their affection
Instead towards myself I felt detestation

Now I hold that knife in my hand
Wondering why I gave up everything for just some adoration
It won’t take long
I’m just a ticking time bomb
This poem is about following another persons' wishes instead of doing what makes you happy. It is to show the pain that can occur and one of the reasons people especially in my community tend to not follow their passion.
Empire Aug 25
Feel depressed
Take time to myself
Get called lazy

Keep busy for them
Not doing enough

Stimulate my system
Now I’m reckless;
Stop
Energy plummets

Lazy again
Forget things...
Lots of things...
Why can’t you remember?
Am I not important to you??

They’re always angry
Never doing enough
Never helpful enough
They are all that matter

Wait.

What about me?

You’re lazy.
You’re not doing enough.
Get up and help.

I can’t.

Yes you can, c’mon.

I. Can’t.

Worthless.

And now

More depressed.
mks Aug 19
I was built like a catastrophe
like so much wreckage and despair
that you felt compelled to look
but you hated every second of it
Shh
go look at the time stamps
see the moments I stamped out my voice
escaped the incessant chatter
that my mind produces
see that now I am alone
how this place has become
my one true comfort
I once wrote a poem describing how when I'm silent, it means I'm happy.
Go look at the time stamps.
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