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Noah 3d
I can’t do anything right
I can’t do anything outside
I can’t leave
The voices in my head are screaming
Cover your face, don’t let them see
Cover your face, hide what you are
Mask up, keep it on
Paranoid about my privacy

Days on weeks
On months
On years
Hiding away from the world
They’re always asking
They’re always wondering
They want to know
They speculate

Anxiety attacks
Hands shake
Breath halters
Heart thumps

Don’t let them see
Don’t let them know

Hide away hide away hide away

Don’t show them what you really are
I ******* hate myself
I want to scream, at you,
I want to see you move,
Just a flinch.
Why won't you move?
Why won't you run?
Run, away from me.
Stop looking at me.
With that look in your eye,
My eye.
I.
I want to run away.
Run away, with me,
Stop holding me here.
I need to scream,
Scream.
I need to stop screaming at me.
Do you hate knowing that the enemy is you? The person stopping you saying hi to that guy you like, or reaching out to your father, getting out of bed. I do, but I can't bring myself to say no.
Initial J Sep 17
I've been so stupid
I think as the smoke envelopes my lungs
What was I thinking?
How could I have been so dumb
Spending every waking moment
Trying to become so numb
Where did this satisfaction
Of stillness come from
What were my hopes and dreams
I guess that I have none
I take a drag with a final breath
How could I love someone
When I find such comfort in my own death
I've been so stupid
It's an affliction that I have done
Stupidity is stupendous
Alex Adams Aug 26
Who is this person I see in the mirror?
I can't identify their familiar face,
But I don't have her name,
She seems to stare into my soul.
She won't see much, it's really dark
I wish I could find out who she was,
But she is behind the mask.

Everyone seems to like her,
She is the loved one, the one everyone wants to be
Unlike me,
Who is this girl behind the mask?
I don't recognize her,
But yet she stares back to see my soul.

My dad seems to like her,
My boyfriend madly in love, head over heals
My family loves how she is,
But yet the don't see me.

She doesn't have scars, the big tummy
She is taller and so very cute,
Her smile is like the break of dawn in early spring,
But I no longer exist.

What do they like about her so much?
Oh yeah..
She is pretty, like a freshly bloomed water lily
She is cute an rather silly,
She is thin,
That makes all the boys grin!!

I don't exist,
Why does she stare back at me?
Why does she seem to mock me so?
Does anyone seem to know??

I guess not....
The girl in the mirror seems to have my face,
No wonder I'm a disgrace.....
They like her, not me
Karsun wants to marry her!!
But bury me.

She is the girl everyone wants to see,
But all they get is me......
I feel like I don't know my own reflection anymore. When I look all I see is a stranger
Jack Torrance Aug 12
I’m wearing a smile,
but the smile’s a lie.
I’m holding back tears,
but my eyes remain dry.

They say the way to the soul,
is seen through the eyes,
but if that is the truth,
then you can see my soul’s died.

I’m emotionally weak,
but too stubborn to break.
I scream at myself,
for being so ******* fake.

No one would know,
how broken I am.
Lying is my art form,
and self hatred’s my jam.

How can you love yourself,
when you hate who you are?
Hiding behind falseness,
like skin behind scars.

Maybe one day,
this disguise will explode.
Then you’ll see the real me,
and my world will implode.

Till then it’s my secret,
between me and myself.
So just look at my smile,
and ignore everything else.
Gabriel Aug 4
I didn’t get the memo

to evolve -

stop sticking my hands

into the fresh-fire,

as if some part

of my visceral mania

wants to ****** my knuckles

with the ashes of Prometheus.

Every day that I don’t crash my car

is a white-hot remnant

of the suffocation of boredom,

like my life is on pause

until I’m nose down in a gutter

or in a line that I keep trying to cross.

There’s evaporated acid rain

condensing within every hangover,

each time the sun

rises; I rip down my fingernails

climbing to reach it,

gasping down

at the pulsating impulse

to make something terrifying

out of paper maché

and broken bottles

and bruised ego.

In every grave, there’s an I,

subtly watching

for the apotheosis;

a moment of sickly-yellow violence

igniting once more

any excuse for a fight

for fame,

for a feeling.
Something I wrote for a first year university creative writing class.
Karly Codr Aug 3
I hate myself sometimes
I know I shouldn't
But I do.
I hate myself for being so insecure.
I look at other people
And wish I could be like them
Wish I could have as many friends
Wish I could be as skinny
Or as likeable.
It really takes a toll on you.
Hating Yourself.
I wish that I wouldn't hate myself
For liking THAT boy
The one that plays every sport possible
And would never notice band geek like me
I wish I wouldn't hate myself
For every little mistake
Every little mess up
Every little embarrassment.
But it's what I do.
I hate on myself.
And I hate that I hate myself.
On a lighter note... stream folklore
Mrs Robota Aug 3
i hate people more than
i hate myself...expect you
you're a good one

i don't understand
why you hate the person you...
are my golden hour
milkweedangel Jul 25
i have no lovely words
for you
only ugly feelings
for myself
i wish i had lovely things to give you, but instead i'm stuck with all these gross feelings
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