i finally lost [some of] it
but 15 isn't enough
i want 115
i want to shrink away
i want to stop feeling
all of this pain
i don't want to keep doing this
and losing it is the easiest way
i've struggled with eating disorders for a while now. and i can feel myself going back to old, toxic habits. but, i don't want to stop it. because maybe if i plunge in headfirst, he will come back to me.
if your bones dont jut out youre fat
if everythings too big you need to eat
but i would favour one over the other
lets see how those words taste.
Do you ever feel so **** in your own skin?
Where you pinch and grab at your physical reasons to hate yourself
All the taunts and cruel phrases relive in your jiggles
You fad diet yourself into comfort,
Only to be reminded of your deep scars as you catch a glimpse in the reflection
You strive for societal perfection as you let yourself slip into a cracked version of someone you were
The fear that happiness is gone for good
And this is all that's left
been fighting for years
To be tethered to a lover is a dangerous game.
A cord of boundless strength winds deep,
Between the flesh and blood of the heart.
When stress rises in you, so too in I.
When depression grows within one, it becomes two.
And yet happiness too, does bloom.
Though not today, nor anytime soon.
We live on the fringe of happiness, my skinny love.
We live on the promise of maybes or never.
I’d sever the cord, if you could be free.
Though we both know that could never be.
This story has been written.
Now we play the parts.
We suffer in the moment.
We live for tomorrow’s maybe.
Time will liberate us.
So it shall be, so it shall be.
if it hurts
you’re doing it right.
graceful arms, girls.
first position, long legs, extend your necks- yes, that’s right.
i just wanna look like a ballerina again.
i used to take ballet.
All hip bones and ribcage
Flat stomach wasn’t enough
It had to be concave
Mirrors and lights
Lined up just right
As hard as I can
Why can’t I
Just be thin?
Another poem from my sketchbook I didn’t initially post.
In my life there were a lot of people who talks about my weight.
Like "You are to skinny!"
"I can literally see your ribs!"
Even people in my family.
Negative not in a lovely way with support.
My friends did the same thing.
But I found a person that loves just the way I am, classic right?
This beautiful person is about to text me, because she is actually worried.
Well this came out really wrong and I don't know how to fix it ,so yeah
You're So Skinny,
you say to me, I Wish I Had a Waist
Like Yours, you say
like it's a compliment.
I never agreed to spice up your
own personal recipe
for low self-esteem If
you persist in this
body belief I
will no longer be your
body's relief Go
find another Skinny to
feed your grief